Chapter Four
She stared at the email displayed on the screen of the computer, her elbows planted on the table, hands steepled and fingers clasped except for her index fingers, which pressed against her bottom lip.
There was no doubt of the authenticity of the email, and she did not believe that she had erred in the address she’d used, which was one she’d hacked from the small public library in which she now sat.
What troubled her was the same thing that had concerned her for the last two years. Could she trust what she remembered? During those times of clarity, things were so sharply in focus it was like knives in her brain. The sharpness was a herald of something much worse. Following closely on its heels, grief swept in to swath her in its thick folds and imprison her in a torment far worse than any physical pain.
As frightening as the murky haze was that stole her memories from her, it was almost a welcome respite and during those foggy times she wondered how long she could survive being bounced from one hell to the other.
Surely, she’d reach a point where she would simply fly apart and scatter to the winds.
Sometimes she wished for it.
Others, a rush of determination would fill her, compelling her to cling to the pain of clarity as long as possible, to write down what she remembered. Sometimes the pain was too great, and she could not form the words. During those times, she drew the memories.
Sadly, what she drew often made no sense. Like the scene she’d drawn the other day as she sat in the diner. It was a street scene, a small town by all appearances, but not Cotton Creek. Not being able to recognize the place was frustrating her to the point of anger.
And anger had fueled more clarity, which ultimately led her to where she now sat, reading a response to an email she’d sent.
It was short and to the point but nonetheless, she read it again, for what must have been the twentieth time.
You will be contacted.
You will be contacted. She didn’t know whether to feel relief or fear, but it was too late to change anything. They now knew where she was, so running was out of the question.
Perhaps the time of running should end. She was tired of it, tired of not knowing, of being afraid to know and of needing to know.
Yes, maybe it was time. She deleted the email, picked up her notebook, tucked it into the worn backpack and slung one strap of the bag over her shoulder as she stood. She’d go home and wait. It wouldn’t be long now.
*****
Mason and Grady were walking out of Lily Matthews office, fresh from an early morning appointment to go over some legal matters.
“Breakfast?” Grady asked. “My treat.”
“Sure, why− “Mason’s voice died, and his eyes grew round.
“Hey bud, you okay?” Grady put his hand on Mason’s shoulder, alarmed at the way color had drained from his face.
Mason’s gaze was directed across the street, so Grady looked that way as well. All he saw was a woman with long auburn hair coming down the steps of the library. She was looking down as she tucked something into a big shoulder bag.
Mason watched as she descended the steps and headed down the sidewalk. “You know that woman?” Grady asked.
“I just remembered, there’s something I have to do. I’ll see you back at Sanctuary later.” Mason fished out his keys and hurried to his car, parked along the side of the street.
“What the hell?” Grady raised both hands as Mason pulled away. “I rode with you, remember?”
Mason didn’t look back or slow down. “Well, damn.” Grady pulled out his phone and placed a call. “Hey darlin’. Any chance you’d come pick me up from Lily’s office and give me a ride home? Yeah, I rode with Mason, but he had a sudden errand to run. Okay, thanks baby.”
Grady pocketed his phone and took another look down the street. The woman who’d come out of the library had reached a corner and turned. So did Mason’s car. What the hell was going on?
Mason knew that the likelihood of her realizing she was being followed was high. There wasn’t a lot of traffic and he could only go so slow. When he saw her get into an old sedan that was parked near the school, he slowed even more.
She pulled out and after a moment he sped up to follow. If she knew she was being followed, she gave no sign of it. Her speed didn’t increase. She drove the speed limit, headed south out of town, in the direction he’d take himself to go home or to Sanctuary.
The turn he’d normally take to go to Sanctuary was less than half a mile when she suddenly pulled off the side of the road, got out of her car and stepped into the road, forcing him to come to a stop.
Mason pulled over in front of her car, parked and got out. “Why are you following me?” she asked the moment he stepped out of his car.
“Who said I was?”
The look she gave clearly indicated she didn’t believe him. She was angry and suspicious and more importantly, she looked at him like he was a stranger. She had no idea who he was.
“I apologize.” He hurried to cover his surprise at the revelation. “My name is Mason James and I work just down the road at Sanctuary.”
“Fine.” She turned away and started for her car.
“Wait!” Mason followed and this time when she stopped and turned to him, her expression was entirely one of anger.
“What is it you want, Mr. James?”
“Well, how about your name?”
“Why?”
“Why?” He hadn’t expected that, and it threw him. “Just being friendly. There’s a car coming.”
They both stepped off the road and Mason recognized the man in the car as it passed. Jasper Jacks. He threw up his hand and Mason raised his in return, waited for a moment then turned his attention to the woman. “Sadie Rockler?”
Had he not been trained, he’d never have noticed her reaction. It was only a slight tightening of the skin around her eyes, an almost imperceptible narrowing that preceded a shift into an expression of confusion. “Sorry, no. Catherine Mermet.”
“I apologize. You look very much like someone I once knew.”
“I think I would remember if I’d met you, Mr. James.”
“I’m sorry to have troubled you. If you live around here, and you ever need help with anything, Sanctuary is just a half-mile up the road.”
She nodded. “Yes, I know. Thank you. Have a nice day.”
Before Mason could reply, she turned her back on him and hurried to her car. He watched her pull onto the road and drive away before he got back in his car and when he did, he pulled out his cell phone and placed a call.
“Hey. Yeah, long time. What’s the status of Sadie Rockler? … because I’m pretty sure I just saw her… fine, call me back at this number.”
Once he put away his phone, he started the car and pulled back onto the road. When he got up this morning, the last thing he expected was that something from his past would make an appearance. Maybe he was wrong, but he didn’t think so. He believed that Sadie Rockler had shown up in Cotton Creek and that was anything but good news.
*****
Catherine struggled to control the trembling that claimed her. Her body was rigid with fear and her hands hung onto the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip. What was it about Mason James that made her so afraid?
He was near movie-star handsome, sexy as sin, but there was something in his eyes that scared her. Recognition. How was that possible?
She tried not to think about it and chanted to herself as she drove. “It’s gonna be a bright, bright, sun shiny day.” Why that phrase was the one that always came to mind was yet another mystery in her life, but today she didn’t ponder it. Instead, she clung to it like a lifeline until she reached the small house she’d rented.
Tucked back off the road, it was a small house with two bedrooms, one bathroom, a small kitchen, dining and sitting room combination with a washer and dryer in the kitchen and a porch that ran around the entirety of the house.
On the front porch was an old, splintery swing that swung from rusted chains. As she hurried up the steps, it creaked and moved in the sudden wind that had picked up. Catherine hurried inside, locked the door and then leaned back against it.
Mason James. Mason James. Mason James. Why did it feel like the name should mean something, and not something good? Had she known him? Was that part of what had been taken from her? Should she try and find out or was he a threat?
Catherine felt the sob rising and pushed away from the door. She couldn’t allow herself to cry, to be weak. She had to figure this out. But how?
Just asking that question made panic rise. Before it could fully take hold, she hurried to the bedroom, changed into running clothes, locked the house and took off. She had no real destination in mind, she just ran.
Time ceased to matter. All that counted was to keep moving. Keep breathing, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Pant out all that panic and let it float into the blue sky like a swam of angry bees, rising higher and higher until they vanished.
It was when she broke through a stand of trees and saw him that she realized she’d veered off course. Catherine slowed, but not before he lowered the axe and turned his head to look at her.
The oddest thing happened when their gazes met. She forgot about her anxiety, her need to run from whatever it was she couldn’t remember. That all vanished and in its place was a deep-seated need to comfort this giant of a man who carried so much pain in his eyes.
His gaze never wavered from hers as she approached. She stopped five feet from him and marveled at his size. He had to be close to seven feet tall and big, with arms so big she bet one of his arms was as big as her thigh.
“Are you lost?” he asked in a voice that was low pitched and gentle.
“I don’t remember when I wasn’t.” The words that came from her mouth gave her a shock. Why had she said that?”
“I’ve been lost, too.” He propped the axe against the stump he was using as a chopping block and gestured to the back porch of the house. “Want some water?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Catherine followed the giant to the steps that led to the back porch. He stopped at the door, looked back at her then disappeared inside. She waited, looking around. The house didn’t appear to be old, the wood appeared fresh and new.
The door opened, and the giant returned with two bottles of water. He handed her one and sat down on the top step, opened his bottle and turned it up to drink.
She did the same and within moments had downed the whole bottle. “God that was good. Thank you.” She smiled at the giant and then looked around. “Where can I put this?”
“Just put it on the step and I’ll throw it away. Do you want more?”
“Oh no, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And I’m Mathias Gray Horse.”
“That’s a beautiful name.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you new here?”
“I am.”
“And you are?”
She hesitated then answered. “I’m Catherine. Catherine Mermet.”
“Why do you say that like it’s a lie, Catherine?”
His question shocked her and provided a totally inexplicable sense of relief, like a kid who had done something wrong and secretly wanted to be caught. What the hell?
“It kind of feels like a lie, Mathias.”
“I know that feeling.”
“I met a man today. Mason James. Saying his name scare me. Isn’t that odd. He called me Sadie Rockler.”
“Did that feel real?”
“No. It just felt scary and it all feels wrong. Life feels wrong.”
“I know.”
“You’ve lived it?” He seemed so sincere, she believed him.
“I have.”
“And how do you make it stop?”
“You find your true face.”
“And how do you do that?”
“It’s what I’m trying to discover.”
She felt the wave of sorrow that emanated from him. They rolled over her like water pounding the shore at the onset of a storm, powerful and unrelenting. More than that, she saw it in his eyes and heard cries in her mind, the cries of women and children. It gave her shivers and it gave him pain. She felt it stab him like a sharp blade.
“I’m sorry for your pain.” She knelt and put her hand on his knee. “I wish I could take it from you.”
She saw surprise appear in his expression and heard the light gasp. Mathias put his hand on top of hers. “Save your strength, Catherine, for whatever battles you must fight, but thank you for that.”
Catherine nodded, ignoring the tears that spilled down her cheeks. “Thank you for the water, Mathias. And the kindness.”
“You will never know anything else from me. My home is always open to you.”
“Likewise.”
He chuckled. “I don’t know where you live.”
“Oh!” Catherine smiled. “About seven miles east of here. I rented a house on county road 102.”
“The little yellow house with white shutters?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve seen it.”
“You’re welcome there anytime.”
He nodded and gave her hand a squeeze. “Do you need a ride home?”
“No, thank you.” She stood. “I think I need to walk.”
“It’s a long walk.”
“I have nothing else to do, and I like to walk.”
“Then walk well, Catherine.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you again, Mathias.”
“Yes.”
She turned and walked away, and Mathias watched her go. Then he pulled out his cell phone and called Etta. “Doc? I just met another empath. A very strong one. Stronger even than you.”
“Who is it?”
“Catherine Mermet. Or not. I don’t know. She doesn’t know. She said she met Mason and he scared her. He called her Sadie Rockler.”
“And why are you telling me, Mathias?”
“Because she touched me and as long as her hand was on me I was free. She is … more, Doc. Much more. And she needs help.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know. Help her. If you can.”
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do, if you’re sure that’s what you want.”
“I am.”
“Very well.”
“Thank you.”
Mathias set his phone on the rail of the deck and walked back out to the woodpile. Catherine Mermet or whoever she was had somehow reached inside him and eased his suffering despite the pain that was so obvious within her.
He hoped Etta could help her. If not, he would be here, and he had no doubt that he would see her again.