Chapter Nineteen
Deacon took a seat on the porch swing and turned up his beer for a long drink. It had been almost a month since that day at the airfield. A month since she’d fainted in his arms and a month since the US Marshals Services had shown up and taken her into custody.
Neither he nor Matty had heard a word from her in all that time. They’d both tried to get information, but all either of them were told was that things were being handled.
That didn’t sit well with him at all. He tried not to let his mind take him back there. Every night he relived it, every time he closed his eyes he was there again.
Even under the effects of whatever she’d been given to calm her down, her hands were tightened into fists on his shirt, clinging to him like her life depended on it.
Her face was pressed to his chest and he felt the dampness grow on his shirt from her tears “Please take me home. I want to go home.”
She pulled back to look and him and it was then she realized they were in an ambulance. “What’s going on?” She looked around. “Who are all those people?”
“The Marshals Services. They’re taking you into custody.”
“Why?”
Deacon looked at Mathias, who sat beside them and he shook his head. Deacon hated being the one to tell her. “They’re not convinced it’s safe for you to return to Cotton Creek.”
“But that’s my home. I have to.”
“Commander Johns?” A stout man wearing a US Marshals’ badge walked up to the rear of the ambulance.
“Yes?”
“Marshal Dodds. It’s time we left, sir. I’m going to have to ask you and Mr. Gray Horse to exit the vehicle.”
“No!” Mica clung to Deacon. “No. Please, don’t leave me. Matty, don’t let them take me.”
“We have to do what they say, Mica. To keep you safe.” Mathias leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Be safe, sister. I love you.”
“Matty!” She looked at Deacon with eyes so filled with hate and fear that his heart nearly broke right then and there. “Please, don’t let them take me.”
“I don’t have any power here, honey.”
“I’m scared, Deacon. Scared I won’t see you again.” She looked at the Marshal. “I don’t want to be in protective custody. I’ll take my chances and—”
“I’m afraid it’s out of your hands, Ms. Gray Horse. Commander?”
Deacon gathered Mica to him and held her tight. “I love you,” he whispered. “Remember that.”
“Deacon, no.” She cried as he pulled away from her and she scrambled to follow but two attendants in the ambulance restrained her.
It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, walking away as she screamed for him and fought to break free. His chest felt like something was squeezing it and unshed tears burned his eyes. He got into the car where Mathias waited with Wiley and two Marshals. They were going to be taken and questioned and it would be determined whether charges would be brought against them.
He didn’t much care at this point. All he could think about was the woman who’d trusted him to save her and who had watched as he walked away.
“I should have stayed with her.”
Wiley had one hip and leg hitched up on the porch rail. “It wasn’t your call.”
“Maybe I should have made it my call.”
“Yeah, I can see you trying that,” Wiley remarked. “But like you always said, you gotta know how to pick your battles and this wasn’t one you were going to win.”
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“Nope, I guess not. So, I met Mason and he said you’re quitting your job here to go back on active duty, running the new training facility that’s under construction.”
“Correct.”
“You sure you want to go back?”
“I am. Or I was. Now…”
“Now you just want your woman back. I get it.”
“Do you?”
“You think I haven’t ever been in love, bro? I know what it’s like to love and lose and it sucks.”
“So what did you do when it happened to you?”
“Went on a week-long drunk, shacked up with three pretty senoritas down in Juarez and tried to convince myself it didn’t matter.”
“Did that work?”
“Not really, but the pretense helped me weather the worst of it, and in time I got past it.”
“And now? You have a woman now?”
“Nope.”
“So, what exactly are you doing, Wiley? Last I heard you’d gotten busted down several ranks for some stunt involving a fighter jet.”
“Yeah, the powers that be took exception to me proving that plane would do something they said it couldn’t.”
“That’s all there is to it?”
“Well, I might’ve taken it without permission. So, I took the deal that was offered, retired with a full pension, and went to work for the private sector, which pays a hell of a lot more than Uncle Sam.”
“Soldier for hire?” Deacon gave a snort of disgust. “I’ve met a few of those. Half of ’em aren’t worth their salt.”
“And half of them are.” Wiley chuckled. “Lighten up, old man. Life is too damn short to take it all so seriously.”
“And too damn important not to take it seriously at all.”
“Touché. And I might have learned that lesson. I’m thinking of giving it up, settling down, and opening a flight school.”
“That’s a surprise.”
“Ain’t it just?”
They both looked out into the darkness at the same moment. A second later, Mathias appeared. “Commander?”
“Hey, Mathias. You get all that paperwork taken care of?”
“Yes, sir.”
Deacon looked at Wiley. “Mathias decided to sign on as an instructor for the new center and I’m glad he did.”
“Me too,” Mathias replied. “But that’s not why I’m here, sir.”
“Well, what can I do for you, son?”
“I don’t know. Doc just said for me to come tell you to go with me to meet her at her house.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Fine.” Deacon got to his feet and looked at Wiley. “You going to hang around?”
“Naw, I think I’ll hit the road, but I’ll be in town for another few days so I’ll catch you later.”
“Sounds good.” Deacon then looked at Mathias. “Okay, let’s go see what Etta wants.”
They walked along in the fading light in silence for a bit. When Matty spoke, his voice sounded every bit as sad as Deacon felt. “Do you still think we were wrong not to fight for her?”
“Yes and no. God knows I wanted to and part of me is pissed that I didn’t, but I knew it was a fight we couldn’t win.” Deacon almost despised himself for speaking the words. Not that they weren’t true, but he hated any situation that was beyond his control and surrendering to anything was a bitter pill. Particularly this surrender.
“Yet you’re still upset.”
“I am. I guess I feel like we still should have tried.”
Funny, but it made Deacon feel better to say that. Maybe because he would have felt better if he’d fought and had to be dragged away from her instead of walking away. How much had that hurt her, to see the people she loved turn their backs and walk away?
There was no more conversation. When they reached Etta’s house, the lights on the front porch were on. Deacon tapped on the door. It wasn’t long before Etta opened the door.
“Come in.”
“Mathias said you wanted to talk to us?”
“Actually, there’s something I wanted to read to you.”
“Read to us?”
“Yes, please.” She gestured to the dining room table. “Let’s sit.”
Once they were seated, she picked up an envelope from the table. “This is from Mica.”
“Mica?” Deacon asked. “Where is—”
“Hold on,” Etta interrupted. “Let me read this to you like she asked.”
She took a page from the envelope and unfolded it.
Dear Matty and Deacon,
A month ago I thought this nightmare was coming to an end. Now, I go to sleep wondering if I am ever going to leave this place.
I won’t serve any time for killing that man who was going to shoot Nellie Mae. I guess it would be fitting if I did. Now that I’ve had time to move beyond the immediacy of it, I realize that I’m no better than the man I killed. I mean, I killed him without ever considering my actions. I don’t even remember throwing the knife, to be honest, but I did. And I took a life. What kind of person does that make me?
I don’t know, but it can’t be good for my soul and I don’t quite know what to do to make recompense for that. But that’s not why I am writing this. I’ve told the Justice Department everything I know and I do mean everything. About Tony, Jimmy, and all my clients.
A lot of people are going to end up in jail because of this and maybe it’s a good thing. Most of them deserve it. I didn’t do it to save my own skin. I did it because I learned something from the two of you. You have to be prepared to do what’s right. Even if it means walking away. I understand that now.
The first couple of weeks all I could see or feel was that you’d turned your back on me. Every time I closed my eyes, I’d see it and my heart felt like it was going to just stop out of sheer misery. You turned your backs on me.
I know that’s not true. I was just so scared and alone.
I’m not scared anymore. Finally, I’m not scared.
I love you, Mica
Etta put the letter down on the table and clasped her hands together. “That letter was written a week ago. Today, everything was finally set right.”
“What does that mean?” Matty asked.
“What I can tell you is that according to the Justice Department, Cipriana Julliani did not die in the attack that took the life of her husband and four of his men. She survived and turned state’s evidence. Thanks to her testimony, not only will the heads of two crime syndicates be spending the rest of their lives in prison, but their organizations are in shambles.
“Additionally, there will soon be a lot of political changes taking place as people are either indicted or cut deals to stay out of prison.”
“So she took them all down?” Mathias asked.
“She did.”
“And what happens to her?”
“Cipriana pled guilty to conspiracy and several other charges and was transferred to a women’s prison to await trial, where she was murdered by inmates.”
Deacon felt like he was going to pass out. “Are you telling us…”
“That Cipriana is dead. But before she died, she was able to transfer thirteen million dollars that was in her name, in equal parts to Mathias Gray Horse and Deacon Johns.
“Now, no one will ever be looking for her again. Anyone who knew the connection between Cipriana and Mica is dead. Vitale never told his father, and since he is deceased there’s no one left who knows the truth.
“You’re both rich men and it has all been put to rest.”
“I don’t want her money,” Deacon protested.
“Well, I guess it was important to her for you to have it.”
Deacon stood and shoved his chair under the table. “The last thing I want is her money. Good night.”
Etta and Mathias watched him leave, then looked at one another. “Can I ask you something?” Etta said,
“Yes.”
“Can you feel her? The essence of her, I mean. I know you and she both have some kind of abilities, and once she told me she always knew when you were in trouble or scared or okay because she felt it. Can you?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“She’s alive.”
“And?”
“She’s been trying to get it together. You don’t know us, Doc. We came from a different world. Mica has been responsible since she was five. For herself. For me. Everything she’d ever done is to make sure I’m provided for. She loves me more than she loves herself.
“Now she loves Deacon more than she loves herself too, and it’s hard for her because she has a hard time forgiving herself for things she’d gladly forgive me or him for.”
“So, you’re not worried about her?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“And if you feel she really is in danger?”
“Then I’ll fight for her.”
Etta nodded. “Thanks, Mathias.”
“Sure, Doc. Have a good night.”
“You too. You sure you’re okay in the apartment above the barn?”
“I am.”
“Okay. See you tomorrow.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Etta watched him leave, then sat there staring out of the window. Things were about to change for Mathias and Deacon. She just hoped it was for the better because they had both been pretty miserable for a good while.
*****
Four days. It’d been four days since Etta gave them the news about Mica. So where in hell was she? He was going crazy waiting and worrying. Deacon couldn’t sleep and damn sure didn’t want to dream again. Many more of those memories that came back to him in his dreams and he’d be ready to say to hell with it and eat a bullet.
He went outside and sat down in the swing, leaned back, and rocked lazily, watching a cloud slide over the moon.
“Hello, Commander.”
Deacon bounded to his feet. Had he fallen asleep and just dreamed he heard her voice? Then he saw her. She walked up the steps, her feet bare and wet from the dew.
“Are you really here?”
“I am.”
“Mica.” Three steps and he had her in his arms. “I’m sorry we didn’t fight for you.”
“There was no one to fight, Deacon,” she said against his chest as she clung to him. “I know that. At least I do now. Before I was just scared.”
She pulled back to look up at him. “Scared that once you walked away it would be easier to forget me than wait for me.”
“That would never happen.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I don’t want your money, Mica.”
“Then give it away. I don’t care what you do with it. Although maybe I should have hung onto some of it. Matty sold the house and smithy.”
“He bought some land on the other side of the lake. Said he wants to build a place.”
She smiled. “Then that’s exactly what he should do, and it sounds wonderful. But there’s still the little matter of me being homeless. I’m not quite sure where to go.”
“Nowhere.”
“Well, I kind of have to, Deacon. I need a place to live.”
“You have one. Here. With me.”
Mica smiled. “Is that an offer or an order, Commander?”
“Which works?”
She laughed and for the first time in weeks, his heart felt light again. “You had me at hello, Deacon.”
“So, you’ll stay?”
Mica gestured to the swing. “Can we?”
“Sure.” He sat and she climbed onto his lap.
“Can I talk to you?”
“Always.”
She nodded and for a few moments, she was quiet. When she did speak, her voice sounded tired and he wondered just what she’d been put through this last month.
“How you do find peace after taking a life, Deacon? I don’t know how to do it.”
“You killed to save, Mica. There’s no dishonor in that. Mrs. Baker told everyone what happened. You saved her life.”
“And I ended another.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Does that make me a monster?”
“Does it make me or Mathias monsters? What we did that day at the airfield. I put a bullet in that bastard’s head with clear and calculated intent, Mica. And I’d do it again without blinking.”
“You only did it to save me.”
“Exactly. Just like you acted to save Nellie Mae. A woman who cares a lot about you is alive because of you.”
Mica nodded and stared up at the moon. “I’m glad she’s alive. I love that little old lady. I know people think she’s just an old gossip, but she’s more, Deacon. A lot more. Just like you.”
“Oh?”
“Oh my God, yes.” She sighed and kissed him softly. “That day, I looked out of that window and saw you and I knew I wasn’t going to die. My hero had arrived.”
“Make that plural. Mathias was there as well, and Wiley.”
“Yes, he was. Matty came for me. He was willing to risk his life for me. My little brother, the one person who had always held my heart. I don’t know Wiley, so I only thought of him as someone who was with you. And that was what mattered.
“You were there. My own personal hero, the man I love. I knew you’d save me because you are my hero. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of and feared I would never find. You claimed my heart and it will never be mine again. I love you, Deacon. With all my heart.”
Deacon took her face in his hand. “I didn’t plan on falling in love, you know that. Particularly with someone your age. But you—you had me with one look. And I’ll love you with every breath I take, Mica and beyond, if that’s allowed.”
“Oh my God, do you realize that you just seduced me with words? Words, Deacon.”
“Miracles abound,” he said as he stood, lifting her in his arms.
“Where are we going?”
“To bed. I have a few more words I’ve been saving for when you came home.”
“Home.” The word sounded like an invocation. “You’re my home, Deacon.”
“And you’re mine.”
Even as he said the words, he realized it wasn’t simply lip service. He’d never allowed himself to wish for someone like her, someone that made him feel excited about life again and someone for whom he’d gladly die, but she was that and more.
At long last, he’d found his heart in which to call home.