Eloise

After cleaning up the kitchen, I looked at the time on my phone and saw it was seven o’clock. I had two hours before my text date with Mobile Man, so I decided to pour a glass of wine and take a relaxing bubble bath. While I was running my hands through the bubbly water, a text message came through on my phone from Natalie.

“I know you’re on your date, but I wanted to tell you I met a guy and he’s dreamy.”

“Frank cancelled. Something came up. Who is this guy? Send me a pic.”

“Fuck Frank! I’m sorry he cancelled. His name is Nathan and he’s from Long Island. Small world, eh?”

“Age?”

“He’s thirty-seven and an architect. Believe it or not, he seems to have his shit together. He’s never been married, owns his own home, and he has a cat named Lucy. He taught me how to surf.”

“Aw, Nat, that’s great. I still want a pic.”

“So what are you doing tonight since fucker Frank cancelled?”

“Mobile Man and I are having a text date.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“We’re both staying home and texting each other.”

“Okay, seriously, Eloise, you’ve hit rock bottom. Just fucking meet the guy already. Go on a real date.”

“Nah, and I haven’t hit rock bottom. I don’t want to ruin our friendship by meeting him. We have a cool thing going on.”

“I have to go. My mom and I are heading to lunch, but we’re going to have a long talk when I get back. So prepare yourself.”

“Yes, Ma’am. Enjoy your day!”

I set my phone down and closed my eyes, taking in the hot bubbly water that soothed my skin. As I was feeling like I was drifting away to another world, my phone dinged. Opening one eye, I glanced over at it and stared at the number carefully. It was Luke.

“Hey, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I really want to talk to you. I’m not comfortable with the way we left things in our last text. I do like you, Eloise. It’s just I’m confused.”

I let out a laugh as I read his text. Was he serious?

“You have a lot of balls texting me. Too bad you didn’t have those balls while we were seeing each other. Let me un-confuse you. You led me on, made me think that you were interested in me, we flirted, we kissed, and then poof, you disappeared and proceeded to give me a speech on how you felt we were getting too close and you needed to focus on you and the kids. You never should have pursued me the way you did knowing you didn’t want to date. But you did and you hurt me. I can forgive, but I will never forget. You’re a breadcrumber who needs an ego boost every once in a while, and I’m not the woman to give you one. You do not deserve my attention or my words. In fact, you don’t even deserve these words, but you’re getting them so you’ll leave me the hell alone. You have been #deleted and it’s going to stay that way. You don’t have the right to pop in and out of people’s lives when it suits you.”

“I’m sorry and I understand. It appears you’ve given up on me.”

“Your time has expired. Take care and I hope you get your life straightened out.”

Good lord, he was an idiot. For someone his age, it bewildered me how unintelligent he was. What was with tonight? Return of the exes? I turned my phone off so I could enjoy the rest of my bath in peace. After changing into my pajamas, I grabbed a bottle of wine from the kitchen and took it over to the couch. I had approximately thirty minutes before my text date with Mobile Man started, so I opened my lap top and read some more emails from women all over the world with relationship questions. Starting tomorrow, I would make daily blog posts answering the questions they had. As I was reading over the emails, my phone dinged with a message from Frank. With an arch in my brow, I read his text message.

“Hey, I’m free now if you want to still meet up.”

“Really? I thought something came up?”

“It did, but I resolved it, so now I’m free.”

“I take it your other date stood you up?”

“What? Umm. No. Of course not. Why would you say that?”

“Listen, Frank. I’m not stupid, so just come clean with me. The sooner you do, the sooner we can wipe the slate clean and maybe start over.”

“Fine. I’m sorry, Eloise. I did lie to you. I met this girl this morning at a coffee shop and I asked her out and the only time she had available was tonight.”

“Go on…”

“We were supposed to meet at eight o’clock for dinner, but she called and said she changed her mind. She said something about she’s not over her ex yet.”

“So you benched me to go out with her, and if it didn’t work out, you felt you could always set up another date with me?”

“I guess I did. I’m sorry. Can we still go out? I really like you.”

“If you did REALLY like me, you wouldn’t have cancelled to go out with some chick from the coffee shop you just met today. Our time to get to know each other expired when you cancelled our date and failed to give me an explanation. Just for future reference, Frank, women don’t like the ‘something came up’ excuse. I am now going to delete your number from my phone, so please don’t text me again. In fact, don’t even respond to this text. I’ve said my peace.”

I threw my phone down on the couch, took a sip of my wine, and continued looking over the emails I received. It was eight fifty-five when my phone dinged with a text message from Mobile Man.

“Hi there. How are you?”

“Hi. You’re five minutes early for our date.”

“I like to be a little early than late. Being late for something is just rude.”

I couldn’t help but smile.

“You sound like me. I can’t stand being late for anything. My girlfriends, on the other hand, are opposite. My cancelled date resurrected and sent me a text message telling me that he’s free now if I wanted to still go out.”

“His other plans fell through I’m assuming.”

“He met a girl at a coffee shop this morning and benched me to go with her. Silly boy for thinking that I’d still be waiting around.”

“Benched you?”

“When a guy puts a girl on the bench to see if something better is out there. Kind of like keeping her in the wings. It’s comparable to when a basketball coach benches one of his not-so-great players to play the really good ones.”

“I see. I didn’t know there was a word for that. He actually told you that he met a girl today at the coffee shop?”

“Yes. I made him.”

I took a screenshot of our conversation and sent it to Mobile Man.

“Damn, Digits, you really told him. I’m impressed.”

“Thank you.” I sent the smiley face emoji.