Eloise
I was lying in bed looking through our text messages, trying to figure out where things went wrong. I couldn’t find anything, but I needed to try and move on. But what was I moving on from? A broken alcoholic man who didn’t have his life together? He was every kind of wrong, and I knew it from the first time I met him, but I didn’t want to see it because I was lonely and he walked into my life when I was most vulnerable. That was what I did. I over analyzed these situations and spent too much time thinking about them. But now, I was taking my power back. I would no longer fall victim to these idiots we called men and let them have control over my emotional state. I did something I hadn’t done before. I deleted his number.
I had never deleted a guy’s number. My contact list was filled with guys I’d dated over the years. I suppose I kept them because somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this little bit of hope they’d call or send a text and then I would know who it was, even if it was a couple of years later. I held on to this notion that maybe they would miss me. Stupidity on my part, I know. I was fully aware of how pathetic I sounded. But now, things were going to change. With one swipe, I went through my phone and deleted the number of every guy I had dated. It felt good and empowering.
“I’m so proud of you,” my friend Natalie spoke.
“Me too.” Claire smiled.
“Thanks.” I took a sip of my coffee. “Things are going to be different now. “By the way, where’s Scarlett? I thought she was meeting us here.”
“She was going to, but Hannah woke up with a fever this morning and Jeff had to go out of town on a business trip,” Natalie spoke.
“With your new empowerment, I’m assuming you’re over Luke now?” Claire asked.
I sighed as I set down my coffee cup.
“I still have some unfinished business with him. The thing I don’t understand is why he pursued me in the first place, knowing full well his life was shit and he didn’t want to date anyone.”
“Maybe he just wanted sex,” Claire spoke. “That’s all most guys want anyway. They aren’t looking for anything long term anymore. They want their cake and eat it too.” She smiled.
“Don’t even question it. He’s not worth it. Plus, did you really want to play step-mommy to his monster children?” Natalie asked. “You’re only twenty-five. Far too young to take on any sort of kid responsibility. Not to mention his excessive drinking habit.”
“I know and I thought of that.” I looked down at my coffee cup as I traced the rim with my finger. “I mean, I know he wasn’t good for me and he’d eventually drag me down the same drain his life was stuck in, but he was fun, and I liked our conversations and our time together.”
“You haven’t even slept with him,” Claire spoke as she reached across the table and placed her hand on my arm. “Not to mention he did the plunge and lunge.”
“Thank God we didn’t sleep together. But it’s not like he didn’t want to,” I spoke.
“Here’s what I think,” Natalie chimed in. “I think it’s the whole rejection part of it. He was the straw that broke the camel’s back for you because you expected more from him since he was older. We all know you don’t handle rejection very well.” She smirked.
“All that’s changing now.” I smiled. “My problem is I always get too emotionally attached right out of the gate and I’m not doing that anymore. I flipped the switch and turned off all my emotions.”
“You can’t do that,” Claire spoke.
“I can and I have.” I smiled. “Plus, I know my self-worth and I have standards.”
Both girls rolled their eyes at the same time.
“So now what? Are you just going to swear off men?” Natalie asked.
“No.” I smirked. “I’m going to get inside the minds of them.”
“Really?” Natalie sighed. “And how are you going to do that?”
“By going out with a bunch of different guys and interviewing them.” I took a sip of my coffee.
“You can’t be serious!” Claire laughed.
“I am. You’ll see. I have a plan.” I arched my brow. “By the way, Claire, how’s the new job working out?”
“Great. I love my boss. He’s so nice and I’m really liking it there. Kenny just met him the other day and told me that I needed to quit.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he’s young, super-hot, and rich.” She smirked.
I rolled my eyes.
“I would never be interested in him anyway, he’s a serial dater. Every night, he has a new woman he goes out with. I think he has a relationship phobia.”
“See!” I pointed at her. “If guys can do it, so can I!” I smiled as I held up my coffee cup.
I met Claire, Natalie, and Scarlett my freshman year of college. We formed a little posse and have been inseparable ever since. Natalie is an event planner, Claire is a graphic designer, and Scarlett is a stay-at-home mom. She and Jeff were high school sweethearts. He was another rare find, like my dad. He was a good guy, and when she got pregnant a year and a half ago, he asked her to marry him and now they’re a happy little family. He works on Wall Street and has a fantastic job, one that allows Scarlett to stay home with Hannah. I wasn’t sure how long her stay-at-home mommy status was going to last, though. I could tell she was starting to lose herself. We all tried to convince her to get a part time job, but Jeff wouldn’t hear of it. He wanted her home raising their daughter. I could potentially see some trouble in their future if she didn’t stand up for herself.
****
After my photo shoot, I grabbed some dinner and headed home. Sitting on the couch with my knees up, I stabbed a piece of sweet and sour chicken from the carton and brought it to my mouth. The Gilmore Girls played in the background, but I wasn’t paying attention. My mind was too busy thinking about the plan I was putting together for my blog. I finished my sweet and sour chicken, set the container on the coffee table, grabbed my laptop, and signed into my Match account, weeding through the seventy-five messages I received in the last two days. I picked the seven that I thought were the best and set up a date for every night of the week with a different guy. Now I know you might think this was nothing but pure desperation on my part, but I can assure you it wasn’t. I was no longer looking for a relationship or the perfect man. I had a plan to put into action for my blog. The women who followed it depended on me to give them answers and guidance. But first, I needed to give Luke a piece of my mind and put closure on him.
I pulled up my text messages. Shit. I forgot I had deleted his number. My mind pondered. I knew the area code and the first two numbers and the last four. It was that third number that I couldn’t quite think of. Ah, I remembered it and my fingers went to work.
“You’re an asshole. Plain and simple. I can’t believe I wasted my time with someone like you. You are a pathetic alcoholic who will never amount to anything. So keep trying to figure your life out and good luck. Someone like you will always be destined to stay at the bottom. Peace out, motherfucker! BTW, don’t ever text me again!”
I let out a deep breath as I hit the send button. With a smile on my face, I signed into my blog and changed the name from The Dating Adventures of Eloise to The Chronicles of #Delete. My fingers typed away at the victory that was mine. He was gone, done, and a memory that was now forgotten. As I finished, my phone dinged with a text message. Looking over, I narrowed my eye at his number. I didn’t care what he had to say, but I had to check anyway and then delete it. When I opened the text message, I looked at it in confusion.
“Hello. Your text message had me in tears with laughter. You’re quite a little spitfire and I’m assuming your boyfriend broke up with you or something. If this text was meant for him, I’m sorry to say that he didn’t get it. Apparently, you sent this by mistake to the wrong number. Thank you though. This totally made my day.”
What the fuck? I stared at the number I sent the text message to very carefully. Shit. Shit. Shit. I was ninety percent sure I had the right number. Apparently, I didn’t, so I sent an apology text.
“I’m so sorry for that text. I had already deleted the guy’s number and thought I had it correct. I was going off memory, which obviously proved not to be a good idea. Anyway, I apologize for the mix up, but I’m happy I made your day.” I attached the smiley face emoji and hit send.