I was cold, so very cold, the kind of cold that settles deep into your bones cold. The steady beeping of machines made my head pound. I had entered hell. This was my penance for my past sins, sins I didn’t know I had committed.

I felt a sliver of heat wrap around my hand. It warmed me, fighting against the deep chill. It pushed its way through me. The warmth traveling up my arm, it wasn’t like the raging inferno that had attacked my leg. No, this was a different kind of heat. This heat was soothing, warming me from within. It made me think of sunshine and rainbows, happiness.

It took all the strength I possessed to crack my lids open even the slightest bit. Bright light streamed through the slivers, sending searing pain through my head. I coiled back, groaning against the pain.

“It’s going to be alright, I have you, Ducky.” I felt hot tears of relief streaming down my cheeks at the sound of Luka’s voice.

I couldn’t open my eyes wide enough to see him. But I heard him. I felt him. I felt his warmth pass through me, easing my fears. He provided me comfort and support when I wanted nothing more than to fall apart.

I had so many questions I needed answers to. What happened to Bob? How did I get in the hospital? How did Luka find me?

I willed my mouth to work. Much like my eyes it failed to open. I felt helpless. I could feel the fear and panic creeping up my spine, though shielded through Luka’s touch; I could feel it lying in the recesses, threatening to consume me.

“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me Ducky.” I could hear the pain and sorrow in Luka’s voice.

I wanted nothing more than to wrap him in my arms, shield him from whatever was hurting him. I wanted to be the balm that soothed away his pain.

I put all of my energy into moving my hand, anything to give him a sign that I was there. I was with him.

“That’s my girl.” I heard him say, his voice gruff with emotion.

“Do you remember what happened?” He asked.

My mouth refused to work. My voice stolen. I tried to squeeze his hand again. Give him a sign that I was still there, I was listening.

“You were so brave, Ducky.” Luka’s voice broke as he spoke, breaking my heart along with it.

“Don’t cry, baby.” The use of the endearment baby shattered me.

He had never called me baby before, always Ducky, making the tears fall faster. I felt the tender touch of his thumb as he wiped away my tears.

I only wished that I could do the same for him.

“You did so well, my brave girl. You led Bob out to the desert. I know he hurt you baby. But you got him where you needed him to be.” Luka paused, sniffing away his tears.

“That damn coyote you nearly bit my head off about came to your rescue.” Luka chuckled lightly as he spoke.

I felt his laughter wash over me. I loved the sound of his voice, but even more I loved the sound of his laughter, even if it was at my expense. I wished that I could speak now, so that I could rub it in his face how right I was about the pretty dog in the desert. He could call it a coyote all he wanted; to me it was just a wild dog in need of love.

“I wished I hadn’t run out baby, you don’t know how sorry I am. If I had stayed... If I hadn’t run away… this would have never happened.” I didn’t think my heart could break any more than it had already, but I was proven wrong.

I hated that he beat himself up over this. I hated that he thought it was all his fault. None of it was his fault. If he had been there he could have been hurt. Bob could have attacked him. That was not something I could have lived with, knowing my actions resulted in him ever being hurt.

I squeezed his hand with all my might.

“No.”

The single word barely crossed my lips, but somehow I managed to get it out through the pain of my parched throat and swollen jaw.

“Oh, Ducky.” Luka’s lips pressed lightly against mine, stealing my breath in their wake.

I tried to stay with him. I tried to absorb all of the love I felt pouring from the kiss of his flesh against mine, but try as I may, my body could not hold out. Soon I felt myself drifting back to sleep. My already closed eyes felt weighted with sand as I drifted off.