“I can’t believe you’re not ready yet. I even gave you extra time.” Sam groaned stamping her foot.

Sam had arrived shortly after I walked back into the house. With the commotion of Emily showing up I had completely forgotten about our plans until she had shown up at the door pulling me out of my shocked state. With unnatural swiftness I donned a smile, masking the inner turmoil that threatened to rip me apart.

“It will just take a second.” I promised, walking to the bathroom to straighten my hair, Sam following at my heels.

Through all the rushing and comforting, my perfectly styled hair had looked more like it just walked out of an F-5 tornado from my hands running through it.

“Everything okay?” Sam asked, concern etching her face.

“Yeah, just thinking about some cases, ya know. Same shit, different day.” I gave her a reassuring smile.

I could tell by the look in her eyes she didn’t believe me. As badly as I wanted to tell Sam about what had happened just before she arrived I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t drag Sam into the mess I had created.  I would need to paint a smile on my face and pretend that everything was normal. Taking long deep breaths I pushed the memories of the night from my mind.

“If you’re sure.” A small smile tugged at her lips, not fully reaching her eyes.

“Yeah, babes, totally. You know, that time of the month, emotions go crazy.” The lie tasted like acid on my tongue.

Sam nodded her understanding, her eyes studying me for a lie. Ignoring her watchful gaze, I focused on my hair.

With a quick twist and the assistance of a few bobby pins, my limp locks became a stylish up-do.  Checking my makeup in the mirror, I wiped at the mess of my smeared eyeliner, smudging it and reapplying the thin lines; taking my simple look and turning it into a smoky eye.

“You look adorable.” Sam cried from the doorway, admiring me through the mirror.

I locked eyes with her, smiling, taking in her petite frame. She was stylishly dressed in a little black dress that hung off her shoulders and clung to her curves like a second skin. Black strappy sandals adorned her feet, making her look taller than her five-foot height.

“Thank you.” I winked, giving myself a final once over.

The dress I had chosen to wear was a simple navy blue that hugged my center giving the illusion of curves. The dark color was the perfect contrast for my alabaster skin and my light blond hair, causing them both to stand out.

“I like you in blue best. It brings out your eyes,” Sam smiled, tugging on my hand.

Following Sam out of the house I let her drive, not trusting myself yet behind the wheel. I was still nervous and shaken. Images of Emily’s battered face flashed behind my lids. The black and blue bruises on her face marred with the bright red welt and crusted blood. I should have checked her over. I should have helped her to clean her face and given her something comforting to wear. So many regrets surged through my mind, angry tears burned at the back of my lids.

“We’re here.” Sam’s voice pulled me to the present. Blinking my eyes, I forced back the unshed tears painting a smile onto my face.

“The Lounge.” I said, feigning delight and adding in an extra wiggle of faux excitement.

“I know, I know. You hate the crowd. But I really wanted you to meet Anthony and this is where he’s at.” I could hear the sadness in her voice at my lack of genuine enthusiasm.

I felt guilty knowing I was the one that had put it there. Taking her hand in mine I gave it a quick squeeze. “So, is he the bus boy?” I teased with a wink, forcing a giggle from her lips.

“No, he owns it.” She giggled, sticking out her tongue.

Suddenly everything began to make sense. “Why didn’t you say so before? Were you trying to hide him from me?” I accused, teasing her.

I had always wondered why Sam had developed an insufferable love for the swanky over-crowded club. She had never been much of a clubber, and like me, preferred quieter establishments, the ones where conversation wasn’t drowned out by obnoxious laughter, loud music, and ear-piercing screams of young girls as they squealed excitedly to garner the attention of the male clientele.

“I wasn’t trying to hide him. I just didn’t want you to instantly hate him because of the job he has.” She said as if that explained everything.

“You thought I would hate him for owning a bar?” I asked, confusion crinkling my forehead.

“Don’t do that, you’ll get wrinkles.” Sam used her thumb to soothe out the skin on my forehead.

“Explain and I’ll stop.”

Sam let out a long sigh. “I didn’t want you to judge him because he has money.”

I fell back against the door of the car giving her a long hard look.

“Why the hell would I judge him for having money?”

I had never considered myself a snob and I sure as hell would never judge someone because they had money.

Oh - Mr. Edwards face popped into my head, reminding me of my first impression of him.  I was indeed a snob.

“See,” She said as if reading my thoughts.

I hated it, but she was right.

“What do you have against people with money?” She asked, her nose wrinkling up like a bunny.

“I don’t exactly have anything against people with money.” I hedged.

“Yes, you do.” Sam cut in, not allowing me to get out of answering.

“I just hate that they can buy their way out of anything no matter what they do.” I sighed, dropping my head into my hands.

“They aren’t all Calvin Hobbs, Sash. They aren’t all like him. I promise you.” Sam’s hand gently stroked my arms comforting me from the wretched memories that threatened to consume me.

Calvin Hobbs was the man that killed my parents. He was coming home drunk from a gala, too intoxicated to notice he ran a red light, smashing directly into the driver’s side door killing my father on impact. The collision caused my parent’s car to tumble; rolling into a telephone pole, the impact to the passenger’s side door killed my mother. The accident was gruesome. Calvin Hobbs walked away with a few minor injuries. Using his wealth and status he bought off the police, avoiding prison and a charge of vehicular manslaughter.

The news of his charges being dropped was devastating, nearly crushing my grandmother and myself. I had never fully recovered from the tragedy. Instead of blaming Calvin Hobbs for their death, I extended the blame to anyone wealthy enough to pay their way out of a horrendous crime. 

It wasn’t six months later, Calvin Hobbs was killed in a car accident. He had been driving drunk, yet again, having not learned from the last time. He collided with a semi-truck, his body so badly mangled his family had to have him cremated. If it wasn’t for the dash cam on the truck, the driver would have been charged with the accident, lord knows the Hobbs family tried to pursue charges. Thankfully the truck driver walked away from the accident free from injury and criminal charges. 

Sam pulled me in for a hug, her arms wrapping around me, holding me close. “If you cry and smear your makeup I swear to God I will murder you and hide your body in the dumpster.” She threatened, crushing me to her.

“Let’s go meet this sexy man meat you have been hiding away.” I said, giving her one last squeeze, shoving my feelings back down where they belonged.

 

 

-

 

Anthony Bates was nothing I imagined and yet everything I had hoped Sam would find. He was just over five and a half feet tall; though average height he more than made up for it in looks. The man was downright gorgeous. His thick dark hair was long, pulled back into a man bun, a thick short beard added to his looks; he resembled a shorter version of Jason Momoa, complete with rich olive skin and deep soul-penetrating dark brown eyes. His thick broad shoulders made him appear larger than life topped with his charming witty personality and the fact that he only had eyes for Sam, who glowed brilliantly at his side.

The love between the two of them was easy to see, it shone through their eyes, in the way they smiled at one another, and through the small touches they shared when they thought no one was looking. It was easy to see how perfectly the two fit together. I was sorry that I had missed it, missed the chance to watch the love blossom between my best friend and her soon-to-be husband. I felt grateful Sam had not given up on me and had continued to push me, forcing me to step out of my comfort zone and meet the man of her dreams. Now I only wished he had a single brother.

“Why don’t you call and invite Devon out?” Sam shouted across the table over the loud pulsing music.

The mention of Devon’s name brought me tumbling back to reality.

Putting on my best smile I shook my head. “I don’t think he’s available tonight” I shouted back.

“That’s a shame. How are things between the two of you?” Boy if that wasn’t a loaded million-dollar question.

Unwilling to divulge any details I shrugged my shoulders.

“It’s still too new to know for sure.” I replied, answering as truthfully as possible.

Devon was sexy, funny, and charming but even before the debacle with Emily this evening I still had no idea where things were going with him. I was in deep like with him but it had only been a couple of weeks, still too soon for any concrete feelings. Did I wish for something more to develop? You’re damn right I did. Devon was the epitome of what I was looking for in a man. But I also knew that the feelings had to go both ways. So far all I knew was that Devon had liked me back but after tonight I wasn’t so sure he was ready for instability that came with the career path I chose.

“Let’s dance.” Sam rose; reaching her hand out to take mine, she dragged me out to the crowded dance floor.

We spent the rest of the night out on the dance floor and drinking and laughing at the table with Anthony and a few of his rather handsome friends that had decided to join the party. The hours slipped away as we danced, partied, and celebrated the upcoming union of the happy couple.

Anthony’s friends took turns dancing with me out on the dance floor while Sam curled into Anthony’s embrace, the two dancing to the beat of their own drum. I watched from the corner of my eyes, secretly longing for a love like theirs.  I yearned to have someone hold me in their arms, their eyes reflecting their deep-seated love for me. I felt my eyes mist over with longing.

The alcohol was clearly wreaking havoc on my emotional state. With an apologetic smile, I extracted myself from the arms of my current dance partner. He was one of Anthony’s friends though I couldn’t remember his name. High-tailing it out of the club I made my way out the back entrance, the cool night air slapping me in the face, waking me up to reality as I fell apart in the dark deserted alley.

I slumped down the wall, my ass resting on the heels of my feet. Wrapping my arms around my legs I lowered my head to the tops of my knees. The weight of the world felt as though it were pressed firmly to my back. The roller-coaster of the day weighed heavily on my heart and mind. Heavy tears pelted my cheeks as I wept, fear and uncertainty streaming down my face.

The deep-seated longing I harbored in the recesses of my heart came lurching forward. My hidden desire for an all-encompassing relationship had reared its ugly head. The trauma I experienced at seeing firsthand the effects of a relationship going sour further rocked my body, so many emotions warring from within threatening to destroy my heart.

My heart yearned to belong to another and at the same time fear froze me in place. Seeing Emily’s battered body as she hugged her children to her body reminded me of how quickly love could turn from the most beautiful creation to the pits of hell. I knew that not all men were like Bob Davidson. I knew that there was something deep down inside of him that was broken. It didn’t keep my heart from trembling at the thought of tethering my heart to another only to have it savagely destroyed.

Through the gut wrenching sobs that wracked my body, the sound of footsteps shuffling down the dark alley caught my attention, my ears perking up, struggling to make sense of the light footfalls. Lifting my head I scanned the narrow dark street, searching for the source.

My eyes roamed along the shadows that danced slowly with the pulsing beat of the muffled bass pouring from the other side of the thick exterior walls of the club. The sound of the footsteps faded into the night. A growing sense of unease settled in the pit of my stomach, making the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Fear skated across my skin, pebbling the smooth surface in its wake.

I felt unseen eyes boring into me. Like a mouse trapped in a cage I panicked. Leaping to my feet I scrambled to the door of the club. Desperately yanking on the handle I pulled, fear seizing my heart as the door held firm, unwilling to open. I cursed under my breath. The sound of the footsteps down the alley picked up, my heart lurching out of my chest. The sound grew closer raising my anxiety as I continued to struggle with the locked door, my fist banging against the thick cool steel.

“Sasha.” My name coming out in a drawn-out hiss echoes eerily off the brick buildings lining the alley.

The sound of a can being kicked followed, the metallic tink, tink, tink, as it tumbled along the pavement had me breaking out in a cold sweat. I beat against the steel door, my fist hammering away, the sound echoing the racing thumps of my heart.

“Sasha.” My name was hissed again, this time much closer than before. My eyes blurred with tears as they poured down my face.

Suddenly I was flying through the air, my body rocketing back against the unforgiving pavement. My head bounced off the asphalt, sending a searing pain through my skull.  The dim light of the club shone down on me as the club door opened banging against the brick exterior loudly, the sound echoing through the night sending another round of stabbing pain through my brain. Every inch of my body ached; my stomach rolled threatening to lurch as black dots danced before my eyes. I could make out the silhouette of a lone figure standing over me before everything went black.