Alton
"If you think this is impressive, wait until we get to the locker room," I said as Cheri—or was it Cheryl?—excitedly looked over the large, empty rows of seating.
"The locker room? Why do you want to take me there?" she asked.
"So I can show you my stick," I explained, and the girl—I'm going to say…Candi?—tittered in amusement. With badly bleached hair, puffy lips that looked even less real than her breasts, stiletto heels and a tight, bright red dress, the woman would've looked perfectly in place at one of those trashy night clubs even I didn't go to.
Dancing on the stage.
With her underwear stuffed full of bills.
Of course, I hadn't found her at a strip club. I wasn't the kind of guy who went to places like that at ten o'clock on a Sunday morning, after all.
All right, I wasn't that kind of guy anymore.
No, I'd found her in a regular bar.
She'd just been standing there, looking slightly lost, and I figured that I might as well go for it. She was far from my usual type, but pickings were slim this morning and it had been entirely too long since I'd seen any action. Besides, what else was I going to do with my day? My usual partner in crime, Dominick, had all but disappeared. Going out with him for an evening of wholesome drinking was apparently off the menu for some reason, and so that left me with…uh…Crystal, was it?
Yeah, okay. Crystal.
That sounded about right.
Probably.
I'm getting too old for this shit, I thought with a sigh, but around that moment the young woman started to shimmy back and forth. The tight, clingy fabric of her dress already left little to the imagination, and the way her chest strained against the cloth reminded me of why I was here.
Maybe I was getting too old for this, but Little Alton wasn't. Not yet, anyway.
At any rate, it had been about ten minutes since I started showing Cinderella—no, that definitely wasn't it—around, and that was more than enough for both of us. Having finished with our thin pretext, I took her by the arm and started to head for the locker room.
I'm not a pervert, of course. The public stuff was her idea, and who was I to say no? Besides, this place was deserted right now. The odds of running into anyone were astronomically low, and there was no chance another team member with locker-room access was going to—
"Alton?" a familiar voice called.
Well, that figured. Dominick always did have a strong sense of irony.
Fucker.
I say that with love, of course.
"I get first dibs on the locker room," I called, turning around as I spoke, figuring that Dominick was probably here for more-or-less the same reason I was. "How have you been, you motherf—"
I stopped short just in time, turning the expletive into a deranged cough. Dominick, my oldest and dearest friend, was standing awkwardly with two half-pints behind him. All three of them were being shadowed by a demurely dressed woman who looked like she'd escaped from the library, definitely not Dominick's usual type.
Yeah, okay. Maybe he wasn't here for the same reason as me.
I hoped.
I don't know if my jaw actually went slack or not, but it sure felt that way. I stared at the group in surprise, unable to think of a damn thing to say.
"Uhhh," I said awkwardly.
"Errr," Dominick said awkwardly.
"I'm Chanterelle!" my date chirped happily, apparently lacking the social grace to be awkward.
Chanterelle! I knew that, I thought to myself. I totally knew that.
The young girl standing behind Dominick scrunched her eyebrows together, clearly confused. "But that's a mushroom," she said. "Why are you named after a mushroom?"
"Wait, what?" Chanterelle asked.
"Ali! Be nice," the older woman chided, putting her hand on the girl's shoulder. "I'm sure she already knows."
"Really?" My date said incredulously, shaking her head in surprise. "A mushroom? Really?"
"They're edible, if it helps," said the librarian-lady. "And quite good."
"Oh," Chanterelle said, sounding sincerely relieved. "Well, as long as I'm yummy, I guess…."
Yeah, I was definitely getting too old for this shit.
Not even Little Alton could help me now.
"They're kind of pretty, too. Really bright yellow. Like your hair," the girl said reassuringly. I gave the kid a smile, and her eyes sparkled at me.
Green and blue.
One each.
My own eyes shot up to Dominick's, just to make sure I hadn't gone crazy.
Then back down to the kid's, just…you know, double checking.
Then back up to his.
Suddenly, Dominick's recent absence was starting to make a hell of a lot of sense.
I just wish it didn't.
Yikes, this was bad.
"Uh, Dom?" I asked carefully. "Could I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"