Helena
It was getting easier to recover from being interrupted. Despite the relatively short warning, Dominick and I had enough time to get dressed and leave the bedroom before Ali made it back inside. Acting natural had never been this easy, either, because it actually felt natural. Like everything that had happened was right, and not just a dirty secret we'd almost been caught in.
Except for my own dirty little secret, of course. On three separate occasions now, I'd tried to tell Dominick, only to fail each time. The knowledge that I still needed to confess left me with a racing heart and sweaty palms, but other than that, everything was great.
Other than that.
Of course, it was one hell of a "that" to "other than." It seemed a bit like saying other than the hurricane, the weather sure is beautiful today. It was like standing in the eye of the storm, trapped in an eerie and beautiful calm despite seeing trouble in every direction.
I had no idea it was possible to feel so good and so awful at exactly the same time, and mostly for the same reasons. Every time Dominick saw me, his lips curled into a smile that melted my heart. The warmth of it gave me strength to continue, even as the intimacy of it reminded me of my guilt.
I would tell him soon, but not tonight. I didn't want to spoil the perfect evening—his or mine—and besides, Ali had been gone most of the day, busy with her "date." She was excited to see her dad, and something told me that he wouldn't be in the mood for family time after I confessed.
And Ali certainly had a lot to chat about.
Specifically, about Jason.
And also some things about Jason.
And, well, even more about Jason.
"He's going to buy a motorcycle when he turns sixteen, you know," she explained. Dominick and I nodded along dutifully, trying not to comment on the awkward age gap between the two. Mercifully, it seemed that the crush only ran one way. The older boy had minimal interest in his little sister's friend, and it had been Laurie who'd invited Ali to the celebration.
"And he's a big fan of hockey," Ali added. "He explained the game to me a little."
"How did that come up?" Dominick asked, and Ali shrugged.
"I don't know, but it sounds interesting. Maybe I can go with you to a game sometime?"
"Maybe," Dominick said cautiously, and Ali squealed.
"Great! When? Tomorrow? Next week?"
"It's summer, Ali," Dominick pointed out patiently.
"So? You play inside! There's still ice there. I saw it."
"There's ice, but no games. It'll be months before the season starts."
"Oh," Ali said with a frown. "Well, that's dumb."
"Very few professional sports are played 365 days a year," Dominick said with a chuckle. "But I could show you around the arena if you wanted. It'll give you a chance to see it when you're not, you know, frantically running away from the building's security guards."
"That would be great!" Ali agreed.
The two wasted no time in working out their plans. Dominick would pick Ali up tomorrow, giving her a tour of the arena before taking her out for lunch. She seemed excited—almost suspiciously so. She'd never shown much interest in hockey or any other sport, and had apparently changed her mind completely in just a single day. Still, it was good to see her growing connection to Dominick.
Of course, once the details had been finalized, Ali didn't miss a beat before returning the conversation to her earlier obsession. It had, after all, been at least two minutes since she'd mentioned Jason or the boy's virtues. It was more than a little silly, not to mention repetitive, but I was impressed by the way that Dominick kept listening all the same. Despite the concerns I'd had when we first met, it seemed like the man was a natural father.
I smiled.
And grimaced.
If only I'd known then what I knew now, I never would've gotten into this mess. As it was, I still had to face down an incredibly awkward conversation with Dominick about how I've been pregnant this whole time—with his baby, no less.
That was going to be a lot of fun.
Still, if this evening was any indication, I was still misjudging the man. Listening to a tween girl gush about her crush for so long took the patience and understanding of a saint, but Dominick hadn't seemed bored or irritated even once. If he was capable of that, surely he'd understand why I had waited so long to tell him the news.
Right?
Right.
I swallowed a lump in my throat, hopeful but also afraid I was deluding myself. As the night wore on, Ali finally began to show signs of fatigue. She was obviously winding down, running as low on energy as she'd fallen on boy-related trivia. When she yawned, I knew it was finally time for bed.
"You should get some sleep, you have a big day tomorrow," I said gently. With a nod, Ali paddled off to brush her teeth.
"Are you feeling okay?" Dominick asked me quietly. "You seemed a little distant tonight."
I paused, wondering whether or not I should just get it over with and tell him tonight. Confessing would no doubt have been a relief, but what if I turned out to be wrong about his reaction? There was still a chance that he wouldn't understand, and the revelation could spoil Ali's day with him tomorrow.
I didn't want that.
"I'm good," I said weakly, quickly changing the subject. "Do you mind if I tag along tomorrow, though?"
"I was wondering when you would ask," Dominick said. "Of course you can. But, are you sure that you're feeling all right? You look pale. I could make us some tea, if you like."
"I'm good," I said, not-entirely-lying. Being around Dominick did make me feel good, after all. Just at the moment, it was also making me a bit tense. Offering to make me tea was incredibly sweet, but of course that only made me feel even more guilty. The more I tried to ignore the situation, the harder it became.
"I'm more than good," Dominick said with a smile, weaving his arms through mine and giving me a tender kiss on the forehead.
"Me too," I agreed. "I'm just tired. You, uh, really knocked the wind out of me earlier," I whispered, feeling my cheeks turn pink.
To my surprise, Dominick's seemed to as well.
"You're not regretting what we did, are you?" he asked.
"No. Are you?" I answered.
Dominick shook his head, and we both smiled. He gave me another kiss, and my spirits lifted once more.
He will understand. Everything is going to be all right, I reassured myself. After all, it had to be.
The alternative was too upsetting to even consider.