Emme
Run. Run. Run.
I keep telling myself that I’ve done this too many times now to not know how to save myself. I need to get away.
Keep going. It’s dark, but there’s the light ahead. Get past the light this time.
Run. Stay steady. Left, right, left, right.
I approach the light and, sure enough, despite all the focus and determination not to fall I do. The searing pain shoots through my ankle and my hands burn from the scrapes I get catching myself as I land on the ground.
“I’m almost beginning to enjoy this,” his voice taunts me.
“Please don’t do this. Let me go,” I plead.
“Never, Emily. You’ll always be mine. Always.”
I hear his footsteps. He is so close to me. I close my eyes bracing for the impact of either his foot or fist.
Then I hear a chime. It distracts me for a moment. This is new.
“Nobody can save you, Emily. Not even him.”
Zane. I see his face.
I shot up in my bed, out of breath, and heard the chime again. I looked to my side and realized it was coming from my phone sitting on my nightstand. A text message popped up on the screen from a number I don’t recognize. The message was cut off so I unlocked the phone and opened my text messages.
Figured I’d come home and have no problem crashing given the long day. I know it’s the middle of the night, but thought you should know that you are one difficult face to forget. Hope you are sleeping well.
This is Zane, btw.
I felt a warm feeling run through my body as I smiled at the phone. I tapped out a quick reply.
I was sleeping, but not well.
He responded immediately.
Another nightmare?
Yep. I answered.
No response. Seconds later, my phone rang. I quickly answered.
“Hey,” I said, as I dropped my head back to my pillow.
“Are you ok?” Zane asked, tenderness and concern in his voice.
How could he not know? His voice was enough to make me ok. I said, “I am now. You had perfect timing with your text.”
“Would it help to talk to someone?” he asked.
I stayed silent. I was so not going to tell him about my nightmares and what I knew they meant. I couldn’t imagine the reaction he’d have.
“I’m not saying it has to be me, Emme. You had one last night and another tonight. You told me you get them from time to time. Seems like they are pretty frequent. Maybe talking to someone will help.”
“I’m sure it’s a passing thing. I used to have them all the time and they stopped once I moved here. If they don’t stop soon I’ll consider talking to someone about them. Nikki, Charley, and Monroe have all told me the same thing.”
Now it was his turn to stay silent, so I spoke again.
“So, you couldn’t sleep?” I asked.
“Keep seeing your face every time I close my eyes, sweetheart.”
I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. I’m sure he thought it was a good thing, but I knew it didn’t help my take on this whole Keep Zane Only as a Friend mission.
Since I didn’t respond Zane took the opportunity to further detract me from my mission by saying, “And I keep remembering the feel of your body pressed up against mine while I savored the taste of you.”
I closed my eyes and thought about that exact moment from mere hours ago. It was pure bliss.
“Fuck, Emme. Seriously?” he asked, a slight edge of humor in his voice.
“What?” I asked.
“You just moaned in my ear.”
I did??
“No I did not,” I said.
“Yes, you did. But it’s ok. At least I know you enjoyed it at least as much as I did which, just saying, was a whole fuck ton.”
I whispered under my breath, “Zane.”
We stayed silent for a while before Zane said, “Ok, Emme. Going to let you go back to bed, but first, do you work on Wednesday?”
“No, I don’t have any shoots planned until January. Why?”
“Good. On Wednesday, we’re hanging out.”
“We are?” I asked.
“Yep. Going to do something fun and we can either get dinner out or if you really want to use my kitchen, I’m down for that, too.”
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Zane.”
“What? Using the kitchen?”
“No. I’m not sure us hanging out is a good idea.”
“Told you I want to get to know you better. I’ve got the time off this week, but next week starts hardcore training in preparation for the X Games. Won’t have much spare time at all once that starts. I’m asking for one day for the very foreseeable future, Em.”
“Why Wednesday?” I asked.
“Figured I might need the next two days to try to convince you.”
I laughed.
“Ok, then. I’ll call you in the morning and give you my answer.”
He chuckled before saying, “And you called me a tease.”
“Did you just call me a tease?” I asked, incredulously.
“Sweetheart, don’t play innocent. You bit my lip, shoved your tongue in my mouth, ran your fingers through my hair, and pressed your sexy-as-fuck body up against mine a few hours ago. And you moaned through the entire thing. You bet your ass that was a big fucking tease…but Emme, I enjoyed the shit out of it.”
“Oh,” I murmured.
“Tomorrow morning then,” Zane began. “Good night, Em.”
“Good night, Zane.”
I disconnected the call and set my phone back on the nightstand. I tried to go back to sleep, but now all I could think about was kissing Zane, which got me all worked up. My body needed release so I let my hand travel down my body to the spot right between my legs. Between thoughts of him taking me on the island in his kitchen to the very real make-out session we had earlier, it wasn’t long before I was in the throes of an orgasm trying not to say his name. Within minutes, I was fast asleep.
I woke up late the next morning. I was surprised, but also thankful that I hadn’t had another nightmare. Last night’s events played through my head and I thought how fortunate I was the past two nights with Zane having seemingly excellent timing to pull me out of the nightmare hell before the beatings started.
I looked to the clock and saw that it was just before eleven. Considering there wasn’t much time left before it would no longer be considered morning I realized I needed to contact Zane. Instead of sending a text I decided to give him a call.
The phone rang three times before Zane answered.
“I sure hope you’re calling with good news,” Zane said. He sounded sleepy and if it was even possible he sounded even sexier first thing in the morning. If I was going to say no to hanging out with him on Wednesday I would have changed my mind that quickly. He could easily get me to do anything with that voice.
“I’m sorry for waking you.”
“No need to apologize…unless, of course, you are going to turn me down.”
“Well then I guess it’s a good thing I’m not turning you down. I just need to know where to be and when on Wednesday.”
“I’ll pick you up at your place, but we’ll need to leave pretty early.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, genuinely curious now.
“It’s a surprise. Just be sure to dress warm…really warm. And, make sure you bring your camera.”
“Will I still be allowed to cook dinner for us at your house?” I asked.
“Not going to turn down the opportunity to have you in my kitchen so, yeah, you can cook dinner at my house.”
“Ok. I’ve got to admit I’m a little excited now.”
“That’s good because it means you’re smiling.
And I was. I had gotten nearly nine hours of uninterrupted sleep, I had just agreed to spend my Wednesday with Zane, at the end of which I was going to be able to cook in my dream kitchen. I didn’t get happy very often, but considering Zane was going to be busy for the next month with training I was going to soak this up while I could.
“Is there anything you won’t eat for dinner?”
“Peas and lima beans. As long as it doesn’t have either of those two items, I’m good.”
I laughed. “Peas? Really? Lima beans I can understand, but peas aren’t so bad.”
“Peas taste like dirt.”
I laughed again. Hard. It felt fantastic. After I regained control of myself I said, “Alright, no peas or lima beans.”
“Appreciated. So I’ll pick you up by seven thirty on Wednesday morning,” Zane said. “That work for you?”
“Yes. I’ll be ready.”
“Ok. Going to go get a workout in and then have a few things I’ve got to take care of. What size shoe do you wear?”
“Seven and a half. Why?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll explain on Wednesday. Got to go now, but I’ll call you later.”
“Ok.”
“Bye, Emme.”
“Good bye, Zane.”
I spent the rest of my day coming up with a plan for dinner and dessert with Zane. I figured I’d spend the day today taking care of grocery shopping, getting all the ingredients I’d need, and making sure my camera equipment was good to go.
To my surprise, Monday and Tuesday passed quickly. I went to bed Tuesday evening feeling pretty excited. Before I knew it, my alarm was going off and I was up getting ready for my day with Zane. He said to dress very warm, but I still had no idea what we were going to be doing. I decided on a pair of jeans, a heavy sweater over a scoop neck tank, and a pair of tall riding boots. I put on makeup and made my hair decent before I put a slouchy white knit hat on. I then went to the kitchen to pack up the cooler. I was doing my very best to stay quiet so that I didn’t wake Charley. While I was loading the cooler, I got a text from Zane saying he had just parked and was coming to the door. I walked over and unlocked it and texted him back to let him know. Not even two minutes later Zane walked in carrying a duffel bag.
I looked to him and saw he had a look of amusement on his face.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, whispering.
He took from my cue and quietly said, “Tell a woman to dress warm and she still makes the effort to do it cute. You look great, Emme, but you are going to need to change. He then held out the duffel bag to me.”
“Why?” I asked.
“You aren’t going to be warm enough with what you are wearing. Had a feeling you wouldn’t be dressed the way you need to be, so I brought back up. Go change so we can get out of here. If you want, you can pack the clothes you are wearing now in the duffel bag so that you can change when we get back to my place.”
I didn’t want to delay and risk waking Charley so I took the duffel bag and walked down the hall to the bedroom. Once inside my room I set the bag down on the bed and opened it. I pulled out tons of Blackman Boards snowboard apparel. There was a snowboard jacket, a pair of pants, a long-sleeved pullover fleece, thermal leggings, two pairs of socks, some hats and gloves, and a pair of snowboard boots. I tried not to dwell on it so much and quickly changed into all the clothes so that we could get going. I packed my clothes into the duffel bag and met Zane back out in the kitchen.
The smile on his face grew as he took me in.
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded, pointed to the cooler, and said, “Can you carry that while I get my camera bag?”
He picked up the cooler and took the duffel bag from my hands. When I came back with my camera backpack he took that out of my hands too.
“I can carry something, Zane.”
“I know, Em, but it doesn’t mean that you should. Let’s go.”
I shook my head at him and locked the door behind us as we left the condo.
Zane put the cooler and bags in the back of his Ford Raptor, which had a small enclosed trailer attached to it, then opened my door and helped me climb in. He walked around to the other side, got in, and started the truck.
“Are we going snowboarding?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Would love to do that with you one day, sweetheart, but not today. We are going to be in the snow, though, and it’s going to be really cold so that’s why I brought all the gear for you to wear.”
“So where are we going?”
He looked to me and asked, “Ever been to Yellowstone?”
I sat up in my seat and turned toward him.
“Yellowstone as in Yellowstone National Park? Like Old Faithful?” I practically shouted because I was so excited.
He chuckled. “Yeah, Em, that Yellowstone.”
“I’ve always wanted to go there. Oh, man. Thank you for telling me to bring my camera. I bet it’s going to have incredible scenery for pictures.”
“It does and I figured you’d want to capture that.”
I smiled big at him before sitting back in my seat and settling in to the happy I was determined to have for just one day.
A little over an hour later we had arrived at the east entrance to the park. We parked, Zane opened the trailer, and pulled out a snowmobile.
My eyes got big and I asked, “Please tell me I get to drive that!”
Zane laughed.
“Really? You want to?” he asked.
“Um, yes,” I said, disbelievingly.
“Have you ever driven one before?”
“I lived on the beach in California my whole life, Zane. What do you think?”
He tilted his head to the side as he looked at me for a moment.
“I promise you we’ll plan to ride snowmobiles together another time, but today I’m driving in the park. You aren’t learning on this one in this park.”
“Ok.”
I grabbed my backpack with my camera, lenses, and mini-tripod and put it on my back.
“Ready?”
I nodded.
I sat behind Zane on the snowmobile, held on to him, and took in the beauty of the park. Our first stop was Yellowstone Lake. I pulled out the camera and took tons of pictures. The lake was mostly frozen with gorgeous snow-covered mountains sitting in the back. The beauty of it all was almost too much to bear. I felt my eyes get wet at the peace and serenity I felt in that moment. Zane came up next to me and wrapped an arm around my waist.
“You ok?” he asked.
“It’s so beautiful,” I rasped out.
Despite all the layers I was wearing I could feel Zane’s fingers press into my hip as he gently squeezed and pulled me into him. We stood there together for quite a while. I think Zane knew I needed that time to reflect, even though he didn’t know why, and I was grateful he gave it to me.
“Before we go will you do me a favor?” I asked.
Without hesitation Zane answered, “Anything.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget this, but I want to capture this memory forever. If I pull out the tripod and set the timer on the camera, will you take a picture with me?”
“One condition.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“I get a copy of the picture, too.”
I thought a moment and said, “Deal.”
I found the perfect spot to set everything up, told Zane exactly where to stand, and set the timer. I jogged over to him, but with my lack of practice wearing snowboarding boots I tripped and fell forward into him. Thankfully, he caught me as my hands went to his shoulders.
“Sorry,” I said, looking up at him.
He looked down at me and smiled.
I couldn’t help but smile back. Then I heard the camera. It had taken the photo.
“Crap. I think we might need to retake that picture,” I said as I stood straight and started to walk back to the camera.
I knelt behind the camera and reviewed the shot preparing to trash it, but sucked in a breath at what I saw. It was Zane holding me in his arms smiling down at me as I looked up and smiled back at him. Our position in the frame was perfect, the lighting was perfect, and the scenery was breathtaking.
Zane knelt down beside me and his sexy voice filtered into my ears, “You want another one, I’ll give it to you. Please don’t trash that one, though.”
I turned my head to look at him. The intensity of his piercing blues sent shivers through me.
“I’m good with this one,” I said quietly.
He smiled at me and gave me a wink before asking, “You ready?”
I nodded.
We hopped back on the snowmobile and continued heading west. We stopped at the Old Faithful Geyser next. I was so excited to see it erupt. We were told that it had been erupting consistently roughly every seventy-five minutes and given that timeline it was set to erupt sometime within the next ten minutes. Zane had chosen the perfect time to come visit because there were only four other people waiting to see the geyser at the same time as us.
I snapped a few shots as we waited and five minutes later it happened. I kept clicking away with my camera, but eventually lowered the camera from my face and stared up in awe of its magnificence. It was truly an incredible sight to see.
When it finished, I looked to Zane and said, “I’ve seen pictures and videos of that before and none of it does it justice. I’m so happy I had the opportunity to witness that in person.”
“Glad you enjoyed it,” he began. “You hungry?”
I thought a moment and realized I was, in fact, very hungry. “Yes, actually, I am.”
Zane walked to the snowmobile and opened the cargo carrier he had attached to it. He opened the carrier and pulled out a bag.
“You packed lunch?” I asked.
“Not going to bring you out all day and not feed you, Emme,” he started as he pulled a foil-wrapped packet out of the bag and handed it to me along with a bottle of water. “It’s already a little past lunchtime. Egg salad good with you?”
I took the packet and water from him and said, “That works for me. Thank you, Zane.”
“You’re welcome. Sliced up some apples, too, if you want some.”
I sat down and Zane sat next to me. I opened the foil, took out the sandwich, and said, “I’m impressed.”
We ate and talked for a while before loading up and getting back on the snowmobile. Zane said he wanted to show me one more spot before we called it a day. We were going to be heading north, but back toward the eastern side of the park in order to get to what was known as the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone. It was a bit of a ride there, the scenery was beautiful, and I was still trying to soak up all the happy that I could for the day. With my arms wrapped around his waist and the front of my body pressed against the back of his, I put my cheek to the middle of his back. At that moment, I felt one of his hands wrap around my hands and squeeze briefly before it was gone again.
It felt good.
I felt good.
And best of all, I felt safe and happy.
We arrived at our destination and I was floored by the views. Snow covered the walls and trees of the canyon, the waterfall was frozen, and the view was absolutely spectacular.
“Wow,” I whispered. “This is incredible, Zane.”
“Amazing, right?”
I took out my camera and did my best to capture the exquisite beauty of the place. I only hoped my photos would do it justice. After, I put away the camera and grabbed my phone out of the backpack.
“This goes against everything I stand for as a photographer,” I began. “We need to take a photo here, though, using my phone.”
Zane chuckled and asked, “Are you asking me to take a selfie with you?”
I dropped my head in defeat. When I looked back up at him I said, “I’m afraid I am. Promise not to tell anyone? I do have a reputation to uphold.”
He grinned at me before he said, “Your secret is always safe with me.”
Zane stood behind me and wrapped both arms around my shoulders. I attempted to extend my arm in front of us. With his arms around me I couldn’t reach out far enough to get both of us in the frame. He took the phone from my hand, but kept one arm wrapped around the entire front of my chest so that his hand was resting on my opposite shoulder. We smiled at the camera, I counted to three, and he clicked.
“Let’s take one more,” he said.
“Ok.” I agreed.
The both of us looked at the screen on the phone. I started counting and just before I got to three I felt (and saw) Zane’s lips go to the top of my head where he kissed me. Instinctively, my hands came up and wrapped around his forearm that was holding me and I closed my eyes. I heard the click of the camera. I opened my eyes and turned my head against his chest to look up at him. I saw his sparkling eyes looking down at me.
“What was that about?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I thought it would make for a great picture.”
I gave him a look that told him I thought he was full of himself.
“Come on, let’s look at it,” he said.
He went to the camera roll on my phone and pulled up the picture he’d just captured. I wanted to cry at what I saw. I loved it. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought we were a happy couple that was madly in love. Of course, I knew this wasn’t the case, but that didn’t mean I didn’t wish it were true and that my life were different.
Zane tapped on the screen in an attempt to text the picture to himself.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
He started typing his name, pressing the Z first and nothing came up. This was because, unbeknownst to him, I hadn’t saved him in my phone as Zane.
“Damn, Em. You didn’t even save me in your contacts? I’m feeling pretty wounded now.”
“You are saved in my phone, Zane.”
“Just started typing my name and it’s not coming up.”
I looked away and mumbled, “That’s because you aren’t saved under your real name.”
Zane took two fingers to my jaw and turned my head toward his face. A sexy grin spread across his face and he asked, “So tell me, sweetheart, what name am I saved under?”
I stayed silent and stared at him. He was going to gloat. And I, well, I was going to be thoroughly embarrassed. He stayed silent and stared at me, daring me to try to hold out. He wasn’t going to budge. He cocked an eyebrow at me. We stood staring at each other for easily a solid three minutes before I eventually gave in.
“Ugh, fine. You can find it under Barry,” I said. “Now, can I have my phone?”
“Barry?” he asked, completely confused.
I nodded and attempted to grab the phone from his hands. He pulled the phone away and hit the screen with his fingers. I knew the moment he found it because initially his eyes rounded, which was likely due to the shock that I had actually saved him under what I saved him under, but then his expression grew smug. Fuck.
“Sex Bomb Barry?” he asked.
Mortified, I said nothing.
“Sweetheart, you’ve got to help me out here. I mean, more than half of this name is self-explanatory. I get it. But Barry? What the hell is that about?”
I stared at him utterly shocked.
“Barry White,” I simply said.
“The singer?”
I nodded.
He still stared at me in confusion. How could he not get this?
“Not following you, Emme.”
“Seriously, Zane? Have you heard your voice?” I asked, disbelievingly. “It’s panty-melting.”
My hand flew to my mouth and my eyes rounded realizing I had just said that out loud. “Please tell me I did not just admit that,” I begged.
Zane threw his head back as he roared with laughter. He really, really laughed for a long time. When he finally settled down, he looked at me with shining, smiling eyes and I was certain I liquefied on the spot.
I’m not sure if he was trying to be a gentleman and not embarrass me any further or if it was something else, but he just asked, “You ready to go?”
I let out a breath and nodded. I put my camera backpack on and we got back on the snowmobile. Before we took off Zane said, “Going to head back to the truck. If you see something along the way and want to stop just let me know.”
“Ok.”
With that we were off and on our way back to the truck. I held on to Zane and replayed the day in my head. It was the most carefree I had been in a very long time and I had Zane to thank for that. Christmas was wonderful, but this blew it out of the water. Other than the awkwardness of the phone situation I had just experienced (and I still wasn’t sure how Zane felt about all of that) it had been an incredibly perfect day.
We finally got back to the truck. Zane unlocked it, helped me in, turned it on, and then went back to the trailer to load the snowmobile. After, he got in the truck and pulled out of the lot. We had been driving in silence for a good fifteen minutes when I began to worry. The day had gone so well and now I felt an awkward tension. I wanted to say something, but I was worried I’d lose it if I did. I had experienced enough embarrassment for one day. Unfortunately, as time passed I grew more and more worried and my emotions got the best of me. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and despite my efforts to blink them away the tears spilled down my cheeks.
It was at that moment Zane pulled over on the side of the road. He put the truck in park and turned in his seat to look at me.
“Talk to me, Emme.”
I looked away. He turned my head, as he always did, back to face him.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” he encouraged.
“I’m sorry, Zane. I didn’t mean to offend you. I never would have intentionally done something to upset you. I know that doesn’t lead to good things.”
His brows drew together and he said, “Offend me? Why do you think you’ve offended me?”
“Because of what I named you in my phone. I thought you were ok with it because you were laughing, but then you didn’t say anything about it and we just left. And I’m fine with leaving. It’s been a long, wonderful day, but now you aren’t talking to me. I just thought that maybe I offended you with that. I can change it to Zane. I’m really sorry.”
“Sweetheart, don’t fucking apologize for that shit. I think it’s fucking adorable that you, cute and sweet Emme, actually gave me a nickname like that and then hid it from me in your phone. I’m not the least bit offended by it and if you change my name in your phone I’m going to be pissed at you.”
I sat, staring at him, dumbfounded.
“I don’t understand, Zane. Why are you so quiet now? Is it something else I did?”
He grinned at me and gave me a wink before he said, “Emme, I’m just trying to keep your panties intact, at least until we are somewhere that I can do something about it.”
At that, I burst out laughing.