I was still pretty disappointed in how things went with Alex, but I didn’t have time to mope around. Even though I wanted to turn in my assignment with awful comments about him, I kept it professional and did as I was instructed. Somehow, I managed to write a paper and complete a few online quizzes without thinking about how pissed off I was at Alex. I was deeply hurt in how he behaved, and rather embarrassed about how I acted. Thinking back, I could have exited with a little more class instead of acting like one of those awful women on those trashy reality shows.

What I should have done was just left without another word. A curt smile and a swift exit would have made me the better person. Instead, I probably ruined an expensive suit. At the very least, I guess I could pay for his dry cleaning bill if it ever came into question.

My mom called me for our weekly update. Usually, I was happy to speak with her, as it was frequently a welcome distraction from schoolwork. However, I worried that my interaction with Alex would spill out. I was too ashamed with the way I got tricked into thinking he cared about me as a student and future professional and how I reacted. I hadn’t even told Carol specifics of the meeting, except for the fact that I thought he was a bit of an ass, and we certainly wouldn’t be meeting in private in the future.

“Hi, Mom,” I said.

“You sound tired,” she replied instantly.

I laughed. She always seemed to know how I was feeling, even if she were miles away. “I’m okay. What’s new with you?”

“A lot, actually,” she said, her voice filled with excitement. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

“You’re dating?” I squawked. “Mom, since when?”

“Just recently. You know, I’ve never really gone out of my way to meet men. But, I met a guy that is just so great to be around. He’s smart, funny, and my goodness, is he attractive! He looks like George Clooney! I’m not even kidding you.”

I couldn’t help but smile. I loved seeing my mom happy. She was the best and deserved to be with someone she liked.

“I probably should have asked you and your brother if that was okay,” she said with reservation in her voice.

“Oh, no, not at all,” I sputtered. “You don’t have to ask your children for permission to live your life. I’m happy for you. I’m sure Max will be too.”

My mother hadn’t really dated since my father died. That was over twenty years ago. I was just a toddler when he died, so I didn’t even remember him. But, my mom did her best to keep his memory alive for my brother and me.

I kept a picture of my father and me near my bed. He was a handsome man, tall and muscular, but with a youthful face. Sandy brown hair pokes out from underneath a Yankees cap. He has me balanced on his knee, and stuffed rabbit in his other hand. I was a chubby toddler with a crop of dark hair on top of my head and a toothless smile on my face. I never really knew him, but when I look at it, I can feel his love.

My father was just in the start of his career when he was killed in a train derailment. He spent so much time commuting from our home to the city, and I guess my mom worried constantly. Apparently, her worries were warranted, as one night, she waited by the phone for a call from him to say he was running late. Instead, she got a call from the police, to go to the station and identify his body.

My brother remembers him—vaguely, but enough to make me envious. My dad was very excited about putting my brother in youth sports, and even bought him hockey skates and a stick at the age of three. I’ve seen the videos of my brother puttering around the ice, while my mother held me in her arms. I wish I could have known him for longer.

My father did leave a lasting legacy. My mom told me about the work he did as a financial advisor, and later hedge fund manager. At the time, I didn’t know much about finance to understand what he did. But, as time went on, I did my own research about his career. Eventually, I decided that I wanted to do what he did. I studied hard in school, enrolled in NYU to get a degree in Finance, and planned on getting my Master’s degree so I could achieve my goal. In some ways, following in his footsteps allowed me to feel close to him. I only wanted him to be proud of me. My mom always tells me that he would be, but that’s what parents say.

Along with his inspiration for my future career, he left my mom a life insurance settlement that allowed us to build a nice house in an upscale neighborhood. His earnings put us through private school, then through college. We were never rich kids, but we were financially secure. I told myself that I would make sure to do the same things for my future kids. I know my mom had to work hard to keep up the lifestyle, but careful planning and saving kept us afloat.

I knew my mom was still broken up about his death years later. I’d catch her looking at old photographs and crying. The idea of her dating someone seemed weird to me, but that was because no one wanted to think of their parents as people with those kinds of needs. But, once I grew up and put the idea of my mom kissing another guy out of my head, I encouraged her to get back out there.

She had casually dated a few men, but things never really developed from it. I didn’t know if it was from lack of options or if the memory of my dad lingered too close in her mind. I had never had a serious relationship, so I didn’t know what it was like to lose a life partner. I felt especially guilty after I left for college. She was in that house all alone. She had lots of friends in town, but I knew that it wasn’t enough to dull the sting of being home alone.

“So, tell me about the mystery man,” I said. “I want to hear everything.”

“Well, he used to be from Hazelwood. I didn’t know him very well back when you guys were kids, but I remember seeing him around. He has kids, too, but they’re a bit older. He’s probably about five years older than me, but you would never know. He’s pretty active, so he’s in good shape.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s retired now. I think he used to work in finance. You guys can talk about it when you meet him. His name is Winston. I really think you’re going to like him.”

“I’m sure I will. If you like him, I’ll like him. So, are things serious between you two?”

“Goodness, I don’t know. Maybe!”

“Really?” I gushed. “How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Oh, maybe about a month or so.”

“Over a month!” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I was worried about what you would think. I didn’t want to make any grand announcements if it was just going to fizzle out. But, after my friend set me up with him, we really hit it off. We’ve gone out every weekend since our first date, and we talk on the phone almost every night.”

“Wow, Mom, that’s awesome,” I replied. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks, Sweetie. Hopefully we can all get together soon. Enough about me—what are you up to this week? You sounded stressed when you answered.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. One of my professors gave me a hard time the other day and it’s got me rattled.”

“I’m sorry. Do you want me to come over and have a talking to him? You know I used to do that when you guys were in grade school.”

“I wish,” I said dryly. “It’s not a big deal. I’m just worried about getting an internship this summer and I was hoping he could help. That’s about it.”

It wasn’t often that I lied to my mom, but it didn’t seem right to tell her the whole story. First of all, she wouldn’t like to hear that I went on a date with my professor. Second of all, she would be pissed that a guy in power would try to take advantage of me. Then, I would feel even more foolish for falling for it. She always told me that I needed to be more confident in myself, yet here I was, devastated that Alex only wanted to use me.

“Graduation is just around the corner,” my mom said. “What do you want for a gift?”

I groaned. “A good internship or work experience.”

“I bet Winston knows someone who could help you. Why don’t I ask him the next time I see him?”

“No, Mom,” I moaned. “I don’t want to ask favors from your new boyfriend. I haven’t even met the guy yet.”

“Are you sure? He’s a very generous guy.”

“Maybe we can talk when I meet him in person. I don’t want him sticking his neck out for someone he’s never met.”

“Okay, okay. How about a nice dinner? I think your brother has a rotation to do that week, but I’d love to spend some time with you before you get busy again.”

“That would be nice. When was the last time you were in the city?”

My mom paused for a minute. I thought the phone call was cut off.

“Last weekend,” she said sheepishly.

“What? You came to the city and didn’t even think to call me?” I wasn’t mad, because I had been busy, but I was surprised.

“It was a last minute surprise!” she said. “Winston took me shopping and we stayed at a hotel. It was really lovely, but there just wasn’t any time to meet up.”

“It’s fine,” I laughed. “It sounds like you guys are very serious.”

“Time will tell. Well, I better let you get back to your studies.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

When I hung up with my mom, I didn’t know how to feel. Part of me was thrilled to hear her so happy. The other part of me felt strange about lying to her about everything that was going on at school. I was usually pretty open with my mom, and now I was completely glossing over the biggest event in months. Even though I knew she would have good advice that would make me feel better, I still didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted to get done with school so I wouldn’t have to see Alex’s stupid, beautiful face again. I wanted to forget that he ever existed, but if I made it in the finance world, I knew he would pop back into my consciousness eventually.

But, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to apologize to Alex for throwing a drink at him. He was an ass, but I was also pretty nasty. I hated when people were upset with me, and his imagined ire really weighed on me. I didn’t know what was appropriate for the situation. I would send him a gift, but he already had anything he could ever want. I would write him a card, but he would probably toss it. I could apologize in person, but I didn’t want anyone to overhear, nor did I really want to be alone with him again.

I pushed my face into my pillow and let out a long and dramatic groan. I retracted anything I thought my past self would say about going on a date with Alex Rye. My younger self would beg me to stay in her lane.