Slivers of sunlight shone through the rotted patches on the decking from Keilen’s second story porch. Lily wondered if Keilen had noticed it. She wondered with more worry that the video cameras fastened around the property might catch her snooping. But curiosity made idleness pointless, and boredom invited prying. Surprisingly, Lily couldn’t help herself.  

The home had once been her mother’s. It struck her as odd how she could come onto this property, nosing around with mild disinterest and not be impacted. Not like she had been as a teenager. She’d never been able to touch foot on the property after her mother’s death. Now though, it had changed so much, so much time had passed, that her hesitation was gone somehow. Of course, it took her a week to get to that point.

With Ano and Zee busy at work and Keilen absent from the property for several days, Lily was left to her own devices. She spent the first couple of days on the beach, working off the pasty cast late office hours had painted on her skin. But there were only so many Alessandra Torre and Deborah Harkness novels she could read before she reached the end of their backlist.

By the end of the week, she walked around Keilen’s property, getting to the paved walkway that joined his property and Ano’s. The rain had ended the rest of the trip and kept her inside.

Now, though, Lily was bored and told herself she was different. She had changed. In a roundabout way, Lily had every right to be standing underneath Keilen’s porch, counting the spots of rot and wear on the decking. Right?

Rust covered the brackets and joints secured to the wood and there was a heavy layer of moisture built up at the base of each column. Lily didn’t touch the ratty joists or columns but took note of the mess she noticed and wondered if Keilen would be annoyed at her investigating what had once been her home without an invitation from him. But then, there hadn’t been time for one.

As she’d watched him her first night back, longer than she’d ever admit to anyone, Lily thought he might have caught sight of her. He’d been slow moving after a second beer, and even as Lily lay in the guest bed, which gave her a perfect view of the old house and its current occupant, she counted the minutes it took him to nod off and the number of times he tapped his fingertips against his cell.

Silently, in that room, she wondered if he’d work up the nerve to call her. He was resourceful, and Zinnia was meddlesome; she’d have no problem giving away Lily’s number. But then the minutes turned to hours and Keilen only moved from his spot on his recliner to toss another couple of bottles into the recycling bin before the house went dark and Lily was left to watch the slip of light coming from the dim fairy lights twined between the exposed beams above her bed.

Now she investigated simply because she had no other things to do, not with Zee and Ano off to view a beachside venue for their wedding and Keilen’s Mercedes disappearing from the drive early that morning. 

She forgot the porch and its damage and went around to the north side of the property, looking over what remained of her mother’s garden. Once rosemary and basil had lined the edges of fat, thick rows. Lemon grass had separated the vegetation and the white pickets that surrounded the small garden. Now there was only a half-attempted garden that was more weeds and clovers, some dandelions woven between the flat rows, and bits of broken pickets bundled at one side. Newer lawn tools, a rake and two hoes of differing sizes lay forgotten and rusting on the ground alongside a half empty bag of garden soil.

The small tool shed that her mother had built from pallet wood and heavy rope was little more than three walls with no floor at all. Lily curled her arms around her waist, steps careful as she looked over the property, flashes of memories coming to her like a wave, pummeling her with emotions she had not allowed herself to feel for a long time.

She glanced toward the broken swing set Liam had built for her eighth birthday, then mended and secured again when Zinnia had been born, but Lily didn’t linger. There were more memories on that slide, even more on the swings, and she couldn’t allow them to overtake her.

But ignoring the sensation and the heartache the property worked in her was impossible. She’d become an expert at pushing down the things that threatened to overwhelm her; there wasn’t need for any of that. It wasn’t useful, but even her shredded heart did not keep the memories from coming back to her.

There on the now-broken swing hanging on one side from a forgotten pergola, Lily’s mother had taught her to read. A hundred feet passed the swing, on a patch of gravel and crushed concrete, Liam had taught her to ride her bicycle. And beyond the large patio on the first floor, Lily had tied a thin string of thread to her front tooth and made Liam secure it to the back door handle before he slammed it shut.

“It hurt,” she reminded herself, irritated by the tears that collected on the ends of her lashes.

“What did?” Lily jumped at the sound of Keilen’s deep voice behind her. Breathless, she rested a palm against her chest when he came into the sunlight from the darkened patio corner.

“Where’d you come from?” she asked, hastily brushing a knuckle against her face. “I…I didn’t see you.” Her tone was sharp, and Lily reminded herself that she should be apologizing, not asking Keilen why he was on his own property. She glanced at his hand when he jingled his keys, then felt spectacularly stupid. This was his home. He owed her no explanations. “I’m sorry,” she hurried to say, forcing a smile that she hoped he believed was genuine. “I know I shouldn’t be here.”

“Why shouldn’t you?” He came into the light fully, stuffing his keys into his pocket and smoothing down his hair at the back.

“Well, this is your home, Keilen. It’s not mine…”

“Lil, you never have to make excuses for wanting to be here.” He faced her then, standing just in front of him, but didn’t touch her. Lily fought dueling emotions—the one that wanted Keilen to touch her like he had her first night back, and the one that made Lily think walking away and hopping a plane back to the mainland as quickly as she could was the best course of action. She did neither and let Keilen come close, let him soak up the features of her face, like he’d been starved for the sight. “This is your home. It’s where you found your rest.”

“No. Not anymore,” she said in a voice that was little more than a whisper. Lily looked behind him, to the large home that reminded her so much of her mother’s hard work and sacrifice. She glanced at the dead garden and the remains it had left behind, heartsick that her mother had been taken away before she could reap a large enough bounty to can and store the vegetables she grew. “No,” she repeated, clearing her throat. “It hasn’t been home for a long time.”

She stepped back and Keilen followed, ignoring her when she made a weak attempt and hiding the tremble of her chin and the returning wetness in her eyes that she worried made her seem pathetic. She supposed she wasn’t as unaffected by this place than she first guessed. “I’m…fine,” Lily promised Keilen, giving up the struggle to hide her face when he touched her arm. “Really…”

“You haven’t been back, have you? Here, I mean. You haven’t been to this place since she died?”

Her reply got lodged somewhere in the back of Lily’s throat. That damn emotion got the better of her, made speaking impossible and she couldn’t manage more than a low grumble of complaint and a small shake of her head.

It was apparently all Keilen needed, and he turned her around to face him, one hand firm, solid on her shoulders, the other steady on her chin as he lifted her face. “This is where you got your beginning, Lil. Doesn’t matter if it’s my name on the deed, it’s still home to you.”

Beyond the property boundary, the beach was quiet. There wasn’t anyone crowding the sand yet and the tide was low and calm. But the rustle of the waves and the whoosh of each current fell around them like a melody. It had always been Lily’s favorite thing about this home—the sounds of the ocean and the lull of its movement. As a child, she’d fallen off to sleep every night to that music. Now it felt melancholy and sad, something she guessed showed itself in her expression. Keilen’s frown bunched the muscles around his mouth, and he stepped closer.

“It’s not like it was when you lived here. That much I remember from the bus dropping you off every afternoon.” The frown relaxed, and Keilen moved his attention around the property—to the busted garden fence, then on to the half-bloomed hibiscus that lined the border of the lot. “Your mom, she must have been part fairy. It’s all I can figure. I’ve tried replanting and weeding and doing all the things you’re supposed to do to get things to grow.” He scratched his beard just under his chin. “Can’t for the life of me figure how she managed it.” When Lily didn’t reply, he lowered his shoulders, but kept his focus sharp on her. “It’s okay to be sad sometimes, Lil. Happens to the best of us, and it’s good for the soul.”

“It gets in the way.” She hadn’t meant to admit that and instantly recovered, laughing at herself with a quick shake of her head. “Anyway, doesn’t matter. I’ll probably just get a hotel room. I don’t want to get in the way of the happy couple.” Lily took a step back, needing the distance from him. No matter how much she was attracted to him, Keilen wasn’t a distraction she needed. Besides, he still hadn’t explained about Malini. Zinnia had, but Lily wanted to hear it from Keilen. The thought surprised her. He had the ability to draw her in, to hold her focus, but Lily didn’t think it went beyond attraction. Now, though, for some inexplicable reason she couldn’t name, she wanted to know what had made him leap forward and marry Malini without much thought. “You know,” she said, failing to keep the teasing grin off her face, “all the happy couples.”

Keilen lifted his eyebrows, a shift of emotion that moved between worry, then finally amusement took over his features. “Ah. About that…”

“Zinnia explained about the pseudo pregnancy.”

He nodded, kneading his shoulder as he watched her. “Did she?”

“Umhmm.” Lily pushed down the irrational jealousy she’d felt at seeing Malini and Keilen the night at the restaurant and those errant emotions being back at her childhood home had stirred within her. She’d choose to keep those emotions at bay and opted for distraction and the endlessly amusing bout of teasing Keilen.

“No baby and you married her? That was clever,” she said. Another insult, though minor, uttered without thought, and she glanced at him, relieved that he didn’t seemed to take her seriously. She walked toward the patio, pretending to be interested in the bamboo wind chimes that hanging in a line the far corner; they clinked and moved softly, the rocking music it made reminding Lily of the surf and sun and being home. But she didn’t want to keep herself from things that made sense, like being back. Like how deeply that stung her. Instead, she focused on Keilen and giving him a hard time for the stupid mistake he’d made.

“I’m a good man, Lily. And I can be a little stupid about women sometimes. God knows I was about her. But trust is a big thing for me.” He came closer, the warmth of his body teasing Lily’s senses. “If I can’t be trusted, if I can’t have trust, there’s little point to making efforts. I learned that lesson the hard way.”

Lily nodded, appreciating his words and the fierce way he spoke them. But she couldn’t take the look in his eyes, the intensity of it and decided to ignore what his words had done to her. “I could have guessed you’d end up with her the way you two carried on in high school.”

“Could you now?” Keilen’s voice came from just behind Lily and she picked up on the easy tone, how he seemed more amused than offended.

“Sure, why not?” she said, walking through the backdoor as though she’d been invited. Keilen kept up with her, trailing behind. “She’s pretty, in a sort of boil-your-bunny-rabbit-if-you-reject-her way, and you’re so…”

“I’m what?” Keilen said, stretching out his hands when Lily stood in front of the kitchen island so that both palms rested on the butcher-block surface at her hips. She couldn’t move, not unless she wanted to push him away and, at the moment, with how Keilen watched her, how much he seemed to love her teasing, pushing him away was decidedly not what Lily wanted.

“You’re…so…” She smiled at him when he cocked one eyebrow up, a small challenge she enjoyed accepting. “Sweet.” Lily straightened, pressing her lower back against the bar as Keilen moved closer. “And very…dependable.” She could smell the trace of mint on his breath when he slid his left hand to her back, keeping her still. “And very…very…” Lily moved her gaze over his features, looking for cues, signs that she’d pushed too far. When none came, she continued with her teasing, her heart racing. “Gullible?”

The yelp Lily released echoed and rang against the kitchen tiles when Keilen pushed against her, his hand slipping to the curve of her backside so fast she hardly noticed the movement at all.

“Dependable? Gullible? Hell, Lil, you make me sound a little helpless and a lot stupid.”

“Oh, no, sweetie, I’d never say you were stupid.” Keilen tilted his head, eyes narrowing, but he did not move, not yet, seeming to wait for whatever insult Lily had ready for him. “A little thick about gold digging crazy women, but not stupid…per se…”

Keilen grunted, a sound that was low and dangerous, but completely diminished by the easy smile he wore and the soft brush of his hand lowering down her back. “Per se…” he started following Lily as she tried darting away from her.

It was silly and a little immature to play and tease the way they were, but Keilen did something to Lily she hadn’t felt in years. Being around him, bantering back and forth felt easy and real and honestly natural, so she didn’t remind herself that she was in her mother’s old home, that she’d been touched by death and its aftermath, that it was responsible for how she kept her solitude and reveled in it.

Instead, Lily let Keilen tease her back, pretend to chase her as she broke away from him because it felt good to laugh. It felt even better to laugh with him.

“Stupid? I mend hearts every day, you know.” He moved left when Lily slipped around him and caught her elbow. “In fact, I teach your niece how to mend them on occasion.”

“Oh, yes, she told me all about you. The Mighty Dr. K.” She stopped running when Keilen trapped her against the wall, caging her between his large arms and the weathered stone of the fireplace. Lily stopped pretending she wanted to escape him. “She’s got this whole hero worship thing happening with you.”

“Ah, like you did when we were in high school.” Lily thought that grin was smug and wanted to smack him, just a little to get the expression clear from his features.

“I did not worship you…”

“You stared. A lot.”

“I was young and impressionable,” she said, shaking her head as though he made claims that were pure fiction. “I also had incredibly bad taste.”

“You were in love.” Keilen’s voice went high and exaggerated, mocking Lily for the stupid things she’d done as a kid.

“Lust.”

“You wanted me.”

“Yes,” she finally admitted, ignoring how breathless she sounded. That one word shifted the tone in their banter. It leveled up the tension and Lily liked how that sensation thrilled her, how it seemed to do the same to Keilen. “I did, if you recall. That night at Tommy’s.” She lifted her hand, meaning to touch his face, but thought better of it, her nerve failing. “I…I wanted you badly that night.”

“And now? Do I…” he paused, shifting his weight from one foot to another and the movement brought his mouth to just within inches of Lily’s. “Do I still scare you, Lil?”

She didn’t answer, though a reply was surfing on the tip of her tongue. He wanted to relive that night at Tommy’s. He wanted a repeat of the tarty word play she’d given him; the one that had him virtually panting after her all night. But Keilen’s proximity was sharp; the closeness of his limbs seemed to alight every pore on Lily’s skin. There was a tingle moving between them, mixed with the scent of their breaths and the sweet heat of their bodies just inches apart.

“I don’t scare so easily now,” she answered, slipping her fingers up his sides. The muscle there was pronounced, well defined and Lily swallowed, her mouth drying at the feel of all that trim, perfect muscle under her fingertips.

Keilen’s reaction to her claim was quick and Lily wondered how she could make such a strong, intimidating man moan and tremble at the same time.

“Lil?” he asked when she opened her mouth again, another teasing retort ready to release. Keilen’s face had lost its humor. There wasn’t amusement lighting his dark eyes now, but fire; something that promised Lily things she’d always wanted from this man but never had the chance to take. Now she did. Now she was the only thing stopping her from taking what she’d always wanted. 

She moved her gaze, staring right into his eyes instead of answering. “I could scare you,” he promised. “I could scare you into forgetting what you’ve become. I could scare you until you remember who you were with me.”

“I…I was never with you, Keilen.”

He nodded, and for a half second, the amusement came back into his eyes. “I’m about to change that.”

Lily had no time to prepare when Keilen pulled on her hips, moving her body against his like they were dancing—a slow, swift seduction that didn’t require permission. She hadn’t spoken what she wanted, not like he had, but everything was there, in the reaction that came from her as Keilen kissed her.

“It’s been too long,” he admitted, the heat and quick passion that had spurred him forward, slowing as he held her face and kissed her. Lips and tongue moved slow, then sped as Lily reacted, as she tasted and touched like his mouth was a meal and she’d starved herself senselessly. “Too damn long.”

Lily’s head clouded and swam with sensation. Logic reminded her that he hadn’t explained himself about Malini. That professional, analytical brain of hers wanted facts and details, examinations to his motives. She wanted to know if Keilen was still attached to his ex-wife. God knew Malini hadn’t let go.

But those internal worries were half-hearted, and her body wanted more. Her need to take and touch was greater than the want to know why Keilen had believed that little liar. It didn’t bother her that Keilen held her against the wall that had once held her kindergarten artwork. She gave no pause over the fact that just decades before Liam had sanded and stained the wood island that Keilen had pushed her against. The same one he now moved her toward, then lifted her on top of as he went for her neck.

“God,” she moaned when he fished his fingers under her shirt, fingertips tickling over her ribs, shooting sensation after sensation across her skin. Lily shuddered, an ancient anxious movement she couldn’t control. “Do that again.” It had been his tongue she liked, the hot, wet feel of it over her collarbone, down to the cleft between her breasts.

Keilen obeyed and was rewarded with Lily’s gripping touch, tugging his T-shirt free, clawing against him like only the taste of his skin would satisfy her. And he obliged, his movements constant, his touches greedy as he kissed a path from her jaw, along her neck to the hollow at the base of her throat.

“I…I didn’t pine for you,” he admitted, tracing his mouth along her neck, pulling the bottom of one ear between his lips. “But I never stopped thinking about you.” Lily let Keilen release the top two buttons of her thin shirt, his fingers flirting against the tops of her breasts. Every touch he made electrified her and somewhere deep inside her mind, that shy, gawking fifteen-year-old mentally shot the bird to Malini Wilson.

“You thought of me?” she asked not expecting a clear answer.

“All the time. I wanted you then, I kept on wanting you.” He pulled back, watching her reaction as he moved his fingers slowly, working over her shirt, taunting until her nipples pebbled. “I still want you, Lil.”

She swallowed, her throat dry, heart drumming a staccato beat that had her feeling like she might explode from the rhythm. “Then take what you want, Keilen.”

There might have been a noise, something like a groan, maybe a growl most men make when they’re beyond arousal. Lily thought that’s what released from Keilen’s throat as he reached for her, touch surer, stronger than it had been just seconds before.

He held her tight, his body a live wire of movement as he kissed her, as he managed to loosen her bra and respond to the slip of her fingers tugging his tee over his head and her demanding grip of her hand at his zipper.

“I want to taste you, everywhere, Lil…” he slipped his hand over her breast, testing the shape, the size, pinching the nipple until Lily moaned against his mouth. “Do you want that? My mouth on your skin? Me inside you?”

“Yes…yes, please,” Lily said, slipping off the island when Keilen led her toward the leather sofa in the living room.

She silenced that voice shouting to her. It told her to slow down. It begged her to remember that nothing she’d planned for this trip had been done. She hadn’t made Zee understand how irresponsible it was to marry Ano after only a few months. Lily hadn’t bothered to check in with Lincoln or Ellis and find out her fate for nearly a week.

But thought and consideration wasn’t important just then. There was only Keilen and the way he touched her. There was only the ripple of muscle over his chest and stomach and the soft, sweet noises he made every time she kissed him.

Her skin felt fevered with every graze of his mouth and tongue smoothing between her breasts, as Keilen pulled off her shirt, exposing her fully to him. There was a reverential, awed expression on his face, then his gaze focused on her reaction as he teased and caressed her breasts.

“Perfect, Lil. You feel perfect.”

He came over her, covered her, and Lily hummed when their chests touched, loving the sensation of their skin sliding together, the warmth of their bodies making her feel lit from the inside. Keilen moved lower, fingers grazing her ribs, pushing away her skirt, inching closer to her stomach as he kissed a path from her ribs to the defined dips and bends of her stomach. Keilen rubbed the coarse hairs of his beard against Lily’s torso, pulling her closer with his hands on her back and his tongue moving lower, below her navel, to the brink of her skirt and the thin material of her thong.

“I want to dip inside you.” He cupped her curves, from ass to thigh, pushing up the flowy skirt she wore until the touch of coolness brushed her bare legs from the vent above them. Keilen’s touch was light but certain, mouth against her hip, one finger twisted under the thin strap of her thong, tugging it down, slowing to caress the soft, downy hair he discovered the lower that material fell.

“Lil?” Keilen paused, catching her gaze, expression inscrutable. “You want this? You want me tasting you here? You sure?”

“I want this. I want this more than anything…”

He managed to kiss along one hip, keeping Lily’s skirt around her waist and his teeth against the swirl of her hip before she moved to tangle her fingers in his hair, loving the feel of its softness and the anticipation that came over her as Keilen slowed his movement; like he wanted to delay sensation. Like he wanted this to last, every touch, every sensation that his mouth and touch and wet grazes worked between them.

She could have held her breath, waiting for the next touch, the next step that would bring her closer to what she’d dreamed of since she first saw Keilen all those years ago. But it took too long, the teasing was nearly too much as he slowed every touch, teasing, working up inside her an anticipation that felt like it would consume her.

“Keilen…”

“Wait,” he said, turning her, hands on her ass, adjusting her, putting her exactly where he wanted her. “Be patient.”

She could wait, she knew. She’d waited for him, watched him for four years through high school. Wanted him for far longer, but the loud, shrieking refrain of Zinnia’s scream halted everything but worry and the sensation of being doused with cold water. That loud screech stalled everything but the mad dash to readjust clothing, refasten, re-button where needed and Lily darted from Keilen’s sofa, through his back patio and to the side of the home in time to see Ano running to his black Equus and gunning the vehicle from the driveway with a screech of burning rubber on pavement.

“Fine! Leave. I don’t care!” Zee shouted, her face red, her eyes swollen with tears and congestion.

“Oh, no,” Lily said, running toward her niece as she ran back through her front door. “Keilen…” she started, touching his arm when he tried following behind her. “Do you know where Ano could have gone?”

He nodded, as though deciding something, and then Keilen kissed Lily on the lips, deeper than she expected with his full mouth, his whole tongue leaving an impression she doubted she’d forget.

“We’re going to finish this,” he promised her, moving his touch to her cheek before he slipped a knuckle under her chin to lift her mouth toward his. “No matter what else happens, this thing between us? That keeps going forward.” Keilen waited for a response, almost smiling when Lily nodded. “This time, Lil, I expect you to keep your promise.”

More than anything, she prayed she could.