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Other Books by M.L. Sapphire
Here’s the first chapter of Loner
CHAPTER ONE
Dylan
I couldn't wait to get home. I'd left city life behind years ago but still had to travel a little bit to monitor my investments. I'm a venture capitalist and like to invest in new startups that provide some kind of benefit to mankind. After years of fucking people over, it's the only way I can sleep at night.
For years, I was a hedge fund manager. I worked on Wall Street with all the other crooks. I've always been really driven and I don't like to lose. Actually, I refuse to lose. Naturally, the high testosterone world of Wall Street was appealing to me. Make a shit ton of money, bang plenty of women, and basically do whatever the fuck I want. That's why I got into banking in the first place.
“Sir, would you like anything?” the stewardess asked. “A drink? A hot towel? Anything?”
“I'm fine, thank you,” I said.
“You're aware that it's all complimentary, sir?” she continued.
“This is first class. We want you to have the best experience possible.”
“I'm aware,” I said. “I paid $1,200 for this seat to ensure I'd be left alone. That's what I'd like – I'd like you to leave me alone. If I need something, I'll ask you.”
“As you wish, sir,” she said and continued down the aisle.
Well, things didn't exactly go as planned. Sure, I made a lot of money. Too much, really. But, instead of sleeping with tons of women, I ended up falling in love with one of the first women I
met in New York. At least I thought I was in love with her. I'm not so sure anymore.
And I didn't get to do whatever the fuck I wanted, either. My boss was a controlling prick. While he was out sniffing coke off the tits of a $5,000-an-hour hooker, I was stuck in the office, forced to work long hours. I was busting my ass so that douche bag could do whatever the fuck he wanted.
The final straw came when I left work early one day. I was sick with the flu, but my dickhead boss insisted that I come in. Of course, when I got there, he was nowhere to be found. I did my
best to get some work done, but I could barely hold myself up.
After my third trip to the bathroom, I said “fuck it” and decided to go home. When I got back my loft, I saw a bunch of clothing that had been wantonly thrown around the living room. Some of it belonged to my girlfriend and I immediately recognized the rest of it. Designer suits, so tacky and ridiculously over-priced that I knew they could only belong to one person: my asshole boss. I heard
laughter coming from my bedroom. My bedroom. I was so fucking pissed.
“Motherfucker!” I screamed, kicking in my bedroom door.
“Dylan, it's not what it... I thought you were at work!” my girlfriend said.
They were both laying in my bed, butt naked. There was no question in my mind about what they were doing. The only question I had was how long they had been fucking each other.
“How long?” I yelled.
“How long what?” she asked, her voice shaky.
“How long have you two been fucking each other?” I asked, grinding my teeth.
“I don't know,” she answered. “A few months, maybe?”
“You're supposed to be at the office,” my boss said.
“Fuck you,” I said, looking him right in the eyes.
“You'd better watch your tone with me,” he said.
I tried as hard as I could not to snap. I failed.
I pointed at my girlfriend and said, “Fuck you. We're done.”
Then I looked at my boss and yelled, “And FUCK YOU!”
“Just for that you'll be working on Christmas this year,” he said with a smug grin on his face.
I couldn't help myself. I knew it would be the end of my career, but I couldn't let that jerk-off get away with it. Darting toward him, I tackled my boss and pinned him to the floor. The look of fear in his eyes made me smile inside.
I punched him in the face as hard as I could and said, “This is for making me do all of your work!”
Again, I punched him in the face and said, “This is for being a prick!”Again, “This is for all the investors you've lied to over the years!”And with one last punch, right in the middle of my boss’ face, I said, “And this is for fucking my girlfriend!”
That last punch sent two of my boss' front teeth flying – one across the room and the other down his throat. I dragged his unconscious body through my living room, out the front door, and
into the hallway. The whole time, my girlfriend was yelling at me to stop but I paid her no attention. I gathered up their clothes and threw them out the door.
“And you,” I said, turning to my girlfriend. “Get out. Get the fuck out and never come back. I never want to see or talk to you again.”
“But Dylan, baby...” she pleaded. “If you’d just let me explain, I think...”
“Get the FUCK out!” I screamed, pointing at the door.
“There's nothing to be said, nothing to be explained. You cheated on me... and with him, of all people. I've been faithful to you since day one. You know how much pussy I've passed up over the years because of you? Get the fuck out and don't come back.”
That was the last time I saw either of them. I quit my job, knowing that I'd be humiliated and fired if I stayed. I'd had enough of Wall Street. Hell, I'd had enough of New York. Everybody's only
out for themselves and it made me sick. Fortunately, I'd saved most of the money that I made working on Wall Street. I didn't have to work another day in my life if I didn't want to.
After some much-needed soul searching, I decided to buy a big chunk of land in upstate Vermont. I wanted something out-of-the-way... Something in the middle of nowhere... Somewhere that I wouldn't be bothered. Vermont was perfect.
I'll admit, I spent a lot more money building my house than I needed to. I don't know if I'd call it a mansion... but it's pretty big. It's miles away from the nearest main road and many, many miles from the nearest town. I wanted to be as far away from other people as possible. After I quit my job and left my girlfriend, I made a vow to never let other people control my happiness ever again.
So for the past five years, I've been living alone in the middle of nowhere and I love it. The only time I leave my property is to visit businesses that I plan to invest in, have already invested in, or
when I go into town to buy supplies. Other than that, I keep to myself.
Do I get lonely sometimes? I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But I'd rather be lonely than get my heart broken into a million pieces again. That's why I've stayed celibate since the day I caught my
girlfriend and boss together in bed. Sure, I could be out banging women, left and right. I'm a good-looking, college educated, wealthy, single guy. I could have just about any woman that I want. But, what I don't want is all the bullshit and heartache that goes along with it.
I couldn't wait to get off that flight and back home, away from everyone. I knew it would probably be several months before I had to travel again. Aside from going into town to buy supplies, I
could just relax on my beautiful, secluded property. No drama, no distractions, no bullshit – Just the way I like it.
Brooke
“I don't understand how, in a city of over half a million people, I can't seem to find one decent guy,” I said. “Maybe it's me. Maybe my perfume is actually some kind of good-guy repellent. Or maybe nice guys are intimidated by the designer dress suits I wear. Whatever it is, I just don't have any luck with men.”
Jenny shot me a dirty look and said, “Brooke, you know I love you, but you're fucking crazy. It's not you. Mark was an asshole and the few guys you've dated since him have all been total losers. It's not you, sweetheart. I mean, look at you! You're gorgeous, smart, you have a great job – You've got everything in the world going for you.”
“Well,” I said, “you're right about one thing. All the guys I've been dating have been losers and Mark was an asshole. Did I tell you that he didn't just cheat on me in Philly? I found out that he had different women in each city he went to on his bullshit business trips. And I did my best to satisfy him in and out of the bedroom. I would have done anything for that douche bag.”
“Fuck Mark,” Jenny said. “He was a piece of shit that didn't deserve you. You'll find a great guy, Brooke. I'm sure there's an amazing man somewhere here in Boston that's perfect for you. You just gotta get out there and find him.”
“Don't you think I've been looking?” I said. “I've been dating men in the city and they've all turned out to be total zeroes. I think what I need is to get away from the city, at least for a few days.”
“That's not a bad idea,” Jenny said. “You thinking about taking a vacation?”
“Well, kind of,” I explained. “I've been thinking about taking a nice scenic drive up to Montreal to visit my older sister. She always gives me great advice when I don't know what to do. I'm sure she'll be able to help me figure things out.”
“Oh?” Jenny said, with raised eyebrows. “And what about me? I don't give good advice?”
I smiled and said, “You give great advice. That's one of the many reasons that we're such good friends. But my sister is my sister – she's known me my entire life. You and I just met when I started working at this law firm a few years ago.”
“Speaking of which,” Jenny said, looking at her watch, “we should probably get back to the office soon. I don't think I can eat another bite of this salad. And, the sooner we wrap up everything
we need to do on the Pendleman case, the sooner you can take that delightful drive up to Montreal.”
“I think my part in the Pendleman case will be all wrapped up by Friday,” I said. “Maybe I'll take next week off and go see my sister.”
We finished our lunch and returned to the office. I found it hard to concentrate on my work for the rest of the day. Talking about Mark and all the other losers I've dated had me trapped in my own head, trying to figure out where I could have gone so wrong. I knew that Jenny was right – it's not me, it's them. But maybe I've just been dating the wrong kind of guys all together.
I always go for the guys that I feel I should go for – not the guys that I actually want. I'm a grown woman but, every time I meet a guy, all I can hear in the back of my head is my mother's
voice. “Find a respectable guy that's well liked, mild mannered, and has a good job,” she'd always say. And that's what I've always gone for. But, if I'm being honest with myself, that's not what I
really want.
What do I want? I guess that's the real question. What do I – me – want? Not my mom, not anyone else, but me. What kind of guy do I really want?
I want a real man. A man that's not afraid to take charge. A man that will treat me with the respect that I deserve. A loyal man. A man that isn't afraid to fuck me like I'm the last woman on earth.
A man that knows when to treat me like his private little whore and when to treat me like his sweet little princess. That's what I want.
He's gotta be out there somewhere. I guess it's up to me to find him. I just don't know how many more losers I can stand dating before I find my dream guy.