I’ve got my makeup on. I’m not overdressed, but I do want to look good. I even got some candles out, for after Noah goes to sleep. I’m imagining Jack and me sitting together and drinking some wine by candlelight, and--

My phone vibrates.

“Phone! Phone!” Noah shouts. “Mommy! Phone, it’s your phone!”

“I know, sweetie,” I say. Noah loves the concept of the phone. He went through a phase a few months back where he would always ask if the phone was for him. I had to resort to getting Jane to “call Noah” now and then just so that the phone would be for him sometimes.

I look at the screen and see that it’s Jack. Hopefully he won’t be too late, I’m getting hungry.

I answer, “Hey! You on the way?”

“Sure am,” he says.

There’s some apprehension in his voice.

“Why do you sound so nervous?” I ask.

“Well,” he says, “it’s a funny story, but I ran into your sister and her new boyfriend, Brody, at the hotel restaurant.”

“Oh,” I say, not quite connecting the dots.

“So,” he says, “I invited them over. I figured it would be like a...double date...and you can get to know Brody.”

“Oh,” I say, voice deflating.

Brody and Jane. Not that I don’t like Jane, but the whole wine by candlelight thing is going to go out the window with what I can only assume is a loud asshole guy and an alcoholic sister who can’t drink a sip without drinking four bottles.

Well, I can’t be too angry, maybe just a little pissed off. I do want to eventually meet Brody to make sure that he’s not as douchey as his name suggests. If he’s bad news for Jane, I want to know early so I can try prying them apart before she gets too attached. If I could have gotten to her earlier with Aldus, then I could have kept her from falling under his spell.

“So,” Jack says, answering my silence. “We’ll be there soon. You good?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not mad?” he asks.

“No,” I say. “I’m not mad.”

“Uh,” he says. “Okay then. See you soon!”

“Bye.”

I hang up, and I feel mad. Damn it! He’s leaving in two days, and one of the two nights we have left has just been Brodied. Maybe Jane and Brody will just leave after dinner. I shouldn’t assume the night is totally shot yet.

“Is it Dad?” Noah asks.

“Yes,” I say, smiling. “Dad, and Jane, and Jane’s new friend.”

“Oh,” Noah says.

“Yeah,” I mutter to myself. “That was also my reaction.”

The door just swings open when they arrive. No knock or doorbell. Jane is with them, so of course.

Jane walks in first, and she waves to me, then immediately rushes to the stairs. She says back to me from the stairs, “Gotta use the bathroom!”

Brody has short-cropped blonde hair and dark brown eyes. He’s got nice facial structure, and a good smile. He’s in shape, too, but even though his smile looks nice, it comes off as fake.

“I guess,” he says, looking at Jane as she runs up the stairs to the bathroom, “I’ll introduce myself then. I’m Brody. You must be Liz.”

I smile, and I realize my smile probably looks just as fake as his. I doubt he was thrilled about coming here either. Seriously, why did Jack think this was such a great idea?

“Elisabeth,” I say. “Only Jane calls me Liz.”

“Ah,” he says, shaking my hand. “Elisabeth then. And this must be Noah?”

Noah, I realize suddenly, is wrapped around my leg, hiding from the stranger.

“He’s shy around new people,” I say.

“Hey, Noah!” Brody says, bending down.

Jack gives me a part-apologetic, mostly awkward grin. Even his dopey expressions like this make him look hot. It’s hard to stay mad at him.

I smile, then look down at Noah clutching my leg. “Noah, you want to go give your dad a hug?”

Noah just locks eyes with me, then he side-eyes Brody, and finally he shakes his head.

“He’ll loosen up with time,” I say to Brody.

“Yeah,” Brody says, standing up. Brody looks to Jack, elbows him, and says, “The kid looks a lot like you man, congrats.”

Jack grins, wide and genuine, “Yeah, he sure does. You guys all sit down, I’m going to get cooking!”

“I’ll help you,” I offer, but Jack shakes his head profusely. “You relax. I cook better alone anyway.”

“What are we having?” Brody asks.

“Poblano peppers stuffed with chicken and cheese, covered in mole sauce,” Jack says.

Brody laughs. “Are you a Mexican grandma?”

“No…,” Jack says, “but my grand uncle’s wife was, it’s her recipe. It’s a damn good recipe.”

I smile. “The recipe has like 30 ingredients. We bought them all earlier today. I hope Jack can make this fast, I’m hungry.”

Brody rubs his belly. “Get crackin’, Jack!”

Jack goes into the kitchen, and Noah starts to follow him.

“Oh,” I say. “Noah, your Dad said he likes to cook alone--”

“No,” Jack says, smiling from the doorway to the kitchen. “Noah’s the only help I’ll accept. Come on, buddy.”

Noah and Jack disappear into the kitchen, and I realize with a sudden feeling of panic that I’m awkwardly alone with Brody.

“Jane sure is taking a long time,” I say.

Brody nods, and says nothing.

Okay, that was it. That was the one thing I could think of saying to make conversation, and he didn’t even respond to it.

He plops himself down on the couch and puts both arms out, fully extended. He spreads his legs so wide, too, that I doubt more than one other person could fit on the couch with him.

I sit down on the loveseat across from him, with the coffee table between us. I wait for him to say something, but he just bobs his head up and down as if he’s listening to music. There is no music.

“So,” I say. “What do you do?”

“Whatever I feel like, mostly,” he says.

I cough. He must know what I’m asking him? Is he really that dense?

“I mean,” I say. “Uh, never mind, how long have you lived in Anchorage?”

“Three years,” he says.

“So you moved here in, like 2014? From where?”

“Yeah, winter 2014. Moved from Nevada,” he says, still bobbing his head.

The head bobbing is really starting to grate on me. I’m tempted to turn some music on just so it’s less weird.

“You probably expected snow when you got here,” I say, forcing laughter.

“Well, I sure got it,” he says, pointing out the window.

“Not in 2014, though,” I say.

“Huh?”

“2014, lowest snowfall in the city’s history. Everyone made a huge deal out of it. I arrived just a year before you.”

He looks at me totally confused, but then he just says, “Oh, well, coming from the desert, it seemed like a lot to me, I guess.”

“Seriously,” I say. “What is Jane doing?”

Brody just bobs his head.

“I’m going to go put on some music,” I say, standing up. “What kind of music do you like?”

He tilts his head a bit, then says, “Oh, I don’t really like music.”

He bobs his head again, and starts to tap his foot, as well.

I’m tempted to kick his ankle at this point. “I’m going to go check on Jane, I think.”

“Cool,” he says.

I go up the stairs, leaving Brody alone to the silent symphony in his head that he apparently doesn’t even like.

I knock on the door to the upstairs bathroom. The exhaust fan is running, so I can’t hear anything from inside.

“Jane?” I shout over the fan.

No answer.

“Jane!”

“Huh?” she shouts back at me.

“You okay?”

“Number two!” Jane shouts back.

I sigh. “Hurry up!”

I normally don’t rush people, but every minute alone with Brody feels like 20 minutes. What does Jane see in this guy? I don’t care how big his dick is, or how good he is in bed, it wouldn't be worth it as far as I’m concerned.

When I head back down the stairs, I can smell the mole sauce brewing from the kitchen. It smells damn good. Jack knows I’m kind of mad at him, so I can probably go against his wish to cook alone. Though I’d be kind of a shitty host to just leave Brody alone in the living room.

“Jane will be down soon,” I say to Brody as I step back into the living room.

“Cool,” he says. “So, you’re sure that Jack is the father?”

I feel anger flare up in my chest. He didn’t even look at me when he asked that question.

“Excuse me?” I say, staring down at him with my fists balled up.

“Just making conversation,” he says, smiling. “Just wondering how this whole thing happened, you know? It’s like, you and Jack seem good together, and the kid likes Jack, too, but where’s he been?”

“It’s not any of your business,” I say, nearly seething.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I guess not. I was just curious, and Jane wouldn’t really tell me.”

“She shouldn’t have told you,” I say. “You shouldn’t have asked.”

I turn away from him and stalk toward the kitchen. As soon as I get Jane alone, I’m going to let her know just what I think of this guy.

I step into the kitchen, and the smell hits me even stronger. Jack is holding Noah up so that he can look into the pot.

“It looks like poop!” Noah says, pointing. “Mom, it looks like poop!”

“That’s not nice to say about Dad’s cooking,” I say.

I’m still furious at Brody, but I don’t want to take it out on Noah.

“It’s cool,” Jack says, putting Noah down. “It is dark brown, Noah’s got a limited experience with dark brown-colored liquids.”

“You sure it won’t be too spicy for him?” she asks.

“The sauce isn’t spicy,” Jack says, “but the peppers are. I got some bell peppers instead of poblanos for anyone who doesn’t like spicy food.”

I start helping Jack get the rice and beans ready, and thankfully he doesn’t object at all.

“Brody is a dick,” I whisper into his ear as I pass by.

“Yeah,” Jack says. “He’s an odd one.”

“I don’t like him,” I say.

“Let’s give him a fair shake,” Jack says. “We don’t want Jane to think we’re judging her or something.”

“I’m protecting her,” Elisabeth says. “I should have been there to judge Aldus when she started dating him. This is going to be like that all over again if we’re not careful.”

Jack gives me a sympathetic smile, then goes back to the sauce. He tastes it with a spoon, frowns, and grabs a pinch of cumin from a bowl next to him. He tosses the cumin in and stirs, then reaches for the salt shaker. He dashes in some salt and tastes it again.

“You always gotta taste as you cook, buddy,” he says to Noah. “That’s the biggest mistake people make, just hoping it will all work out. It’s a lot like lumberjacking--you gotta feel how the wood is changing--where the weight is going after each chop. You don’t just chop blindly straight through.”

He nods at the spoon. “It’s tasting better.”

“I just blindly follow the recipe,” I say, “and get mad when it doesn’t turn out. I’ll have to try that. I get really mad when a recipe tells me to ‘add to taste,’ but that’s probably why no one raves about my cooking.”

“I’ll rave about it,” Jack says, grinning.

“Well,” I say, crossing my arms, “now I know you’ll just be faking it to make me feel better.”

I hear footsteps on the stairs. I guess Jane is coming back down. I don’t want to leave her alone with Brody at this point, so I squeeze Jack’s arm and tell him I’m going to go see Jane.

When I get to the living room, she’s resting her head against Brody’s shoulder. Brody gives me a shit-eating grin.

“You tired?” I ask, standing with my arms crossed. “It’s not even eight yet.”

Jane yawns. “I just need to get some food in me, I guess. It smells good.”

“Can we get some music on?” Brody asks suddenly. “I love to listen to music.”

He looks me dead in the eye, an evil grin going across his face.

“Good idea,” Jane says. “It feels too quiet in here.”

She gets up and walks over to the old laptop we keep on the bookshelf. Brody licks his lips and teeth and stares me down. What the fuck is this guy’s problem?

Jane turns on the TV and broadcasts her playlist to the sound bar.

“Nice set-up,” Brody says. “I’m a bit of an audiophile myself--can’t get enough music--so it’s good to see you have a legit sound system. Nothing worse than hearing music struggling to blast out of tinny laptop speakers or cheap-ass bluetooth shit from Walmart.” He tilts his head and listens, then says, “Ahh! That bass, this is Coltrane?”

Jane smiles. “Nice ear.”

How two-faced is this guy? He was a robot to me. Totally not willing to talk, claims he doesn’t like music, and the moment Jane comes back downstairs to join him, he’s a fucking Renaissance man.

“I go in cycles,” Brody says. “With jazz, I mean. Sometimes it’s literally all I listen to for weeks or months at a time, but then I find myself listening to German electronic stuff. It’s like all those warm, jazzy tones burn me out, and then I need something colder and industrial to cleanse my palate.”

He looks at me as he speaks, daring me to say something.

I stay quiet. I don’t know what game he’s playing, but I don’t want to be involved in it. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he’s pissing me off. Though I do want him to know that I can see through him, that I know he’s full of shit.

Jack announces that the food is ready, and we all help set the table. Everyone but Brody. He just bobs his head and taps his feet while the rest of us help.

Once we all sit down, Brody stays seated, and just before I nearly slap him upside the head, he smiles and takes out his phone. “Let me take a nice family photo. I’m sure no one will mind if I’m not in it.”

He winks at me.

I sure as fuck won’t mind.

Jack puts an arm around me, and then hoists Noah up onto his lap. Jane stands behind us.

“Three, two, one,” Brody says. “Cheese!”

He looks at his phone, then gives a thumbs up. “I’ll send it to Jane, she can send it to everyone else.”

“Come sit down with us, Brody,” Jane says. “You’ve gotta be hungry.”

“Sure am,” he says, pocketing his phone and sitting down next to Jane.

“Is Brody my uncle?” Noah asks.

I feel my face drain of color. That would be a nightmare.

“No,” Jack says, laughing. “Not yet, at least.”

He gives me a knowing look, which lets me know he’s just as worried about Brody and Jane as I am. Now that Jane has sought treatment for her alcoholism and been sober for four years, it doesn’t mean that her taste in men has improved. I’d always assumed that the shitty guys she ended up with went hand in hand with her addiction, but Brody is showing me that it might be worse than that. Maybe the root cause of her addiction is also the root cause of her gravitating toward total scumbags?

I help Noah out by cutting his food for him. We all try the mole-covered chicken-stuffed peppers. The first thing I taste is a nice, earthy freshness from the sauce. Then the crunch of the peppers hits me, and then I taste the nicely seared chicken. As I chew, the complexity of all 30-plus ingredients Jack threw into the sauce starts to become apparent. I can taste some of the herbs, I can taste the sweet bite of the dark chocolate, and finally the heat from the pepper hits my tongue.

As if speaking for me, Jane says, still not quite done chewing, “Damn!--I mean, darn--this is good!”

“Is damn a bad word?” Noah asks.

Jack laughs, but then covers his mouth.

“Yes, sweetie,” I say. “Aunt Jane didn’t mean to say it.”

“I thought so,” he says. “This sauce tastes funny.”

“Do you like it?” Jack asks.

“I don’t know...maybe.”

“You want some nice cheddar cheese on it?”

Noah looks at me.

“Yes,” I say. “He likes cheddar.”

Jack goes to the kitchen and grabs a block of cheddar. He grates it over top of Noah’s plate. “Tell me when.”

Noah smiles as the yellow cheese covers his plate, melting slightly as it hits the hot sauce. I decide for him, telling Jack when it’s enough.

Noah takes another bite, and he smiles this time. His pepper is a green bell pepper rather than a poblano.

“Just like Taco Bell, huh, kid?” Brody says, grinning.

Jane elbows him. “Brody…”

“It’s cool,” Jack says. “I know what he means, kids love Taco Bell.”

We finish eating, and to my huge, massive relief, Brody says, “We don’t want to linger, we can get out of your hair. Really amazing meal, Jack, I’d ask you to teach me the recipe, but I don’t cook!”

Jake shakes his hand, and he grabs his coat.

I consider--briefly--politely inviting them to have dessert and hang out after I put Noah to sleep. I’m just too afraid that Brody will actually agree to the offer, so I let them bail.

“Nice meeting you, Elisabeth,” Brody says.

He reaches a hand out to shake mine. “I’ll get Jane to send those photos to you!”

I let go of his hand, and he crouches down for Noah.

It’s not like Noah has paid any attention to him, but that apparently won’t stop Brody.

“See ya, little bro!” Brody says, and Noah runs behind Jack, grabbing hold of his leg.

“Say bye,” Jane says, tapping Noah on the shoulder.

“Bye,” Noah says.

The two of them get their coats and scarves on, and finally they disappear into the night.

Jack and I both let out huge sighs as soon as the door is shut.

“Do you--?” I start to say to Jack, but he interrupts.

“Yes,” Jack says. “That guy is a mess.”

“He doesn’t clean his room?” Noah asks.

“No,” I say. “That would be ‘messy,’ messy people don’t clean their rooms.”

“Oh,” Noah says.

That answer thankfully allows me to dodge Noah’s question entirely, and Noah luckily doesn’t seem interested enough in Brody to ask me any more questions.

Jack and I work together to get Noah ready for bed, and once he’s in bed, we collapse together on the couch.

“I hate to know that Jane is out there, alone with that guy. It’s like Aldus all over again.”

“Do you think Jane really even seemed into him?” Jack asks me. “I feel like it will fizzle out on its own.”

“God,” I say, “I hope so.”