I wake up in the middle of the night. I feel amazing. My body is still singing from the orgasms. We fucked two more times after the first, and we both collapsed in each other’s arms. I wake up with my face still pressed against Jack’s chest. It’s warm, and wide, and strong. His chest is naked; the ring is on the nightstand. I can see the LED clock casting a dull illumination onto it.

My stomach knots and tightens when I look at it. I could just stay like this. I could pretend that Jack’s half-brother Aldus doesn’t exist.

But could I pretend that my own sister doesn’t exist? That she’s not in danger?

No.

I could wake Jack up and tell him everything. He doesn’t seem like the type to “play along,” though. If I tell him, I’d have to hope that he’d be willing to give me the ring--give Aldus the ring--and never say a word to him about it.

If instead Jack decided to confront Aldus, Jane would be in danger. Even if Jack agreed to go along with me, if Aldus ever found out, he could come for Jane--and me--to get revenge.

Aldus is rich and powerful. He owns half of Seattle. He’s unstable and sadistic enough to use his resources for petty revenge. I stare at the ring. I realize there’s only one real solution, and I realize I’m going to do it. I don’t have to feel good about it. I don’t feel good about it. My stomach is knotting up, and I feel like I’m about to vomit.

But I’ve decided. I have to. I unwrap myself from Jack’s embrace, pull away from his warmth and into the cold aloneness. I realize as I pull away from him that I’m pulling away from him for good. I can never face him again after doing this.

I roll out of bed, tiptoeing gently along the carpet.

I realize then that I’m completely naked. As soon as I grab the ring, I need to leave.

I get my clothes and go into the bathroom, gently shutting the door. I dress and run a comb through my knotted hair. I make sure I don’t look like total shit. I need to arouse as little suspicion as possible with the hotel staff. I already noted a back exit near the elevator. I can probably get out unseen.

I turn off the bathroom light and step back into the room. I creep gently toward the bed. The ring is right beside me now, inches from my hand. All I have to do is grab it.

I have to make sure he’s still sleeping. I lean down slightly, and then I whisper.

“Jack?”

He doesn’t move.

“Jack? Are you awake?”

Still no movement.

My lip trembles, and tears stain my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jack,” I whisper. I grab the ring, clutch it into my fist and turn my back to him.

I step toward the door, open it as quietly as I can, and exit into the harsh fluorescent hallway light.

* * *

I don’t even have to knock on Aldus’s door. It opens as I approach.

“I saw you coming,” he says.

Every passing minute has made me feel guiltier and guiltier. Just because I had the best sex of my life with him doesn’t make Jack the perfect man. If I thought he was perfect, then I could have trusted him with the truth. I could have trusted him not to confront Aldus.

No...not perfect. He just had the potential to be the best man I’ve ever met. The best man I’ve ever betrayed and thrown away.

“Give it to me,” he says.

“How do you know I have it?”

“Why else would you be here?” he asks.

I pull the ring out of my pocket and clutch it in my fist. “You swear you’ll leave Jane alone?”

“I want nothing more than to be rid of her,” he says. “But I must warn you, she’s tried to run from me before. She always comes back. Give me the ring.”

I extend my hand and open it. He snatches the ring out of my palm and examines it.

“Good girl,” he says.

I shudder. His tone of voice has completely changed from distant coldness to warm admiration. This must be the same voice he used to break my sister.

“You have everything already,” I say, pointing to his luxurious view of the Seattle skyline, through the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Why do you care about this ring?”

“Jack took everything from me,” Aldus says, scowling down at me. “So now I take everything from him.”

I consider saying that Jack is a fucking lumberjack who is ecstatic over winning just $10,000. How can he have taken everything? From my point of view, it’s Aldus who has everything. But I hold my tongue. There’s no reason to anger Aldus, or to make him angrier at Jack. The best thing I can do is fade from Aldus’s memory as quickly as I can, and hope that this ring is the last thing he needs to take from Jack.

“So we’re done?” I ask. “If I hear that you so much as looked at Jane across the street, I will--”

“There’s nothing you can do to me, girl,” Aldus says. “It’s like I said, Jane has never stayed away from me. I’ll let her know I’m dumping her tomorrow morning. She’ll be heartbroken, and then she’ll come crawling back to me. I recommend you keep her away. Far away.”

I watch Jane help Noah into the little plastic sled. He’s all bundled up in a thick blue coat, and his Aunt Jane is smiling and laughing as she loads him into the sled.

Noah leans back into the sled and crosses his arms as if he’s a mummy.

“Ready?” Jane asks.

He nods, and she pushes him gently down the little hill. His sled glides across the snow. It’s a shallow incline, but Noah laughs loudly as he cruises down the hill.

When his sled glides to a halt, he jumps up and out, giggling and flapping his arms.

“Again! Again!” he shouts, running up the hill toward Jane.

I get up from the bench and go toward his sled. “You forgot your sled, sweetie!”

He’s too excited to even hear me. When he reaches the top of the hill again, he suddenly realizes he needs the sled. He looks down and sees me already bringing it up for him.

“Mom! Watch! Watch!”

“I saw,” I say, grinning.

“He was so fast,” Jane says, “and so cool.”

Noah furrows his brow at Jane. “I wanna go faster!”

Jane and I give each other a look. It’s probably not a good idea to make a three-year old go too fast.

“Maybe a little faster,” Jane says, pinching her thumb and index finger together.

I nod. “I’ll do it.”

We load Noah into the sled together, and I bend down and grab the back of his sled. “Ready?”

“Go! Go!” Noah shouts.

I get a bit of a running start at the top of the hill, and just before I let go, I give him an extra bit of a shove. The sled speeds down at first, and Noah cheers, throwing his hands up.

I feel a wave of panic hit me, and the sled starts to spin.

It turns 90 degrees to the right, and then Noah’s weight tips it over. He rolls out into the snow and slides a few feet before coming to a stop.

I didn’t even realize I started to run, but I’m at his side only seconds after he stops moving.

But then Noah pops up, jumping to his feet and laughing like a maniac.

“Yeah!” he says, looking up at me with a huge smile. “Again! Again!”

This time he remembers to grab the sled, and he rushes up the hill.

We teach him to give himself his own running start, as Jane and I are both exhausted already. We sit down on the bench and watch Noah go up and down the hill. After his “crash,” he’s started to intentionally spin the sled so that he slides out onto the snow every time.

“Watch! I’m a penguin!” he shouts toward us.

He’s growing up so fast. I wish his Dad could see him.

* * *

Work on Monday is fairly hectic. I work as a receptionist at an urgent care clinic, and more people tend to get hurt on Monday. It’s like they were resting all weekend and saving up their energy to go out and get injured on the way to work.

By lunch, I’m completely wiped out. We fortunately get a full hour lunch break, so I head over to a deli and bring my laptop with me.

When I sit down, I notice there is a big wall with flyers and posters of upcoming events. Fishing competitions, dogsled races, and--

My chest tightens up and freezes.

I’ve been thinking more and more about Jack in the past months. As Noah is getting older, he resembles his father more and more. He has those same stunning blue eyes, and when he’s not listening to me, he gets the same mischievous grin.

I’ve worked really hard to put Jack out of my mind. I’ve never even considered contacting him. My previous worries about Aldus going after Jane again are nothing compared to the thought of what that man would do if he found out Jack had a son. So long as Aldus wants to take everything away from Jack, Jack can’t know that Noah exists.

The weight of that choice weighs heavier on me every day. Is it really my choice to make? What right do I have to deny Jack the knowledge that he has a son? But every time I think things through like this, I realize that if he’s the man I think he is, he’d agree with my choice. A true man would do anything to protect his son, even if it meant never knowing he existed.

I find myself Googling the lumberjack competition.

I scan through the brackets, seeing who is going to enter. The chances are low, but--

I see his name. Jack Renshaw.

“Fuck,” I whisper.

Without even thinking, I click on his name and a profile comes up.

His picture is right there. That face I haven’t seen in four years looks eerily familiar. It looks like a face I see every day, my own son’s face. He’s going to be here in...I look up at the poster again.

Next weekend. He will be here next weekend.

I should get Noah and Jane, and we should leave town for the weekend. I can’t risk him seeing me.