Maci Kate
Things have been going amazing between Reece, Bennett, and me since our weekend together almost a month ago. We have fallen into a routine of sorts. Reece comes over a couple nights a week and has dinner with us, but leaves after tucking Bennett into bed. He stays overnight every weekend. I’m watching Bennett becoming dependent upon Reece for stability in his daily life. Their relationship is soaring, and I couldn’t be happier about it. David keeps canceling his visits with Bennett, but he seems less and less affected by the lack of his biological father in his life. Reece is doing such a great job filling that role for him, though it still pulls at my heart that his own father doesn’t want to be around him.
Reece and I are going through that happy phase, where everything is awesome and unicorns shoot rainbows out of their asses. There is something building between us, though. Almost like a block, growing larger, that neither of us wants to admit is there. Who wants to deal with the hard when the easy feels so good? I lied to him. I said I’d give him all of me. I want to, but damn, it’s one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Allowing myself to trust another man, albeit a good one, is my issue, not his. I have been alone for a long time now, and giving him a stake in mine and Bennett’s life is big.
This day is getting worse by the minute. It all started when I woke up forty-five minutes after my last alarm was supposed to go off. Yes, I said last alarm. I set three now, because I love hitting the snooze button. Sometimes I forget, though, and inadvertently turn it off. You’d think that I’d have heard at least one of the alarms go off. Nope.
It might have something to do with Bennett being up all night, throwing up and running a high fever. He finally got to sleep around two in the morning, but I kept waking up to check on him. I didn’t check my alarms, thinking I was safe.
I jerked awake and immediately knew I was waking up way later than I usually do by how bright it was in my room. With Bennett in bed next to me, I checked him to see if his fever broke, but it was as high as it was the last time I had checked. While I was getting another cold compress for his head, I called my school to let them know I wouldn’t be coming in today. Mrs. Martin, the school secretary, was very nice about it, telling me she hoped Bennett would get better soon and not to worry—she’d get a sub in to take care of my class. She went on to explain what she did for her children and grandchildren to help them feel better when they had the flu.
When I put the cold compress on his forehead, he woke up crying about not feeling well. I did what I knew, putting him in a cool bath to break the fever, and giving him Tylenol. We had been on the couch for half the day, drinking Gatorade and eating plain waffles. We both fell asleep on the couch at some point, but when I woke up, Bennett was sitting up, crying, begging me to get his Reece for him.
I’ve been ignoring Reece today, not knowing what to say. I am uncomfortable about not telling him Bennett is sick, but at the same time, I feel like he should know. Yeah, I know—I’m a hot mess of emotion.
I replied to his good morning text, but I never told him that Bennett and I were home because Bennett was sick. I knew that if I told him, he’d rush over to take care of him. I didn’t want to bother him at work, didn’t want him to have to leave his job when I had it all under control. Really, though, I don’t want to give up control of my life to someone else. What if he didn’t do what I needed? What if he let my son and me down? I’m scared, and it’s starting to put a strain on our relationship.
I figured out not telling him was the wrong move when I called to see if he could come over after work today. When I told him why I needed him, he was furious. He became very short with me over the phone and said he’d be over in twenty minutes. Shit.
I would have gotten dressed in something other than my ratty pajamas, but I didn’t have the time. Bennett threw up all over himself, me, and the blanket that was on the couch a few minutes after I got off the phone. I was able to get Bennett back in a cool bath, the blanket in the wash, and get my t-shirt off before I heard someone at the door.
I answer the door in yoga pants, a black camisole, and my hair a tangled mess. Wrong move again… whoops. It seems I can do nothing right today. Reece is standing there with another guy. The man is tall and broad-shouldered, with dark hair and green eyes, and his gruff appearance puts me on edge. He is dangerous, and we all know it.
I can tell Reece is mad as soon as I open the door. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look this pissed. I hold the door open and signal for them to come in with a sweep of my hand. I close the door after them and follow the two giant men into the living room.
I walk up to stand in front of them, not understanding why he brought some guy with him.
“Maci Kate, this is Garret, a friend of mine. He’s one of the guys that helped open Panthera with me,” Reece says, and gestures to the man I had never met before.
I hold out my hand. He shakes it in a firm grip, and then releases me. “It’s nice to meet you, Maci. We’ve all heard great things about you and your little guy. Where’s this Bennett I’ve heard so much about? When I found out he was sick, I offered to come along and check him out, to be sure it wasn’t anything serious.”
“I’m sorry, what do you mean check him out?”
“Oh, I work at Panthera when I’m not at the hospital. Today, I was at the compound when your call came in. I’m a doctor.”
“Like, a real doctor? Like you went to medical school and graduated kind of doctor?”
He laughs and shakes my hand again. “Dr. Anderson. Nice to meet you.”
I laugh with him. “Nice to meet you, too, Doctor.”
“I did my residency at Sweet Briar General Hospital a couple of years ago and finally finished last year. I’m a fully-fledged doctor in the Emergency Room.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know what was going on. Bennett is taking a cool bath right now. He’s had a fever since last night and has been throwing up on and off since then. I’ve been giving him Tylenol every four hours and putting him in a cool bath. The fever hasn’t gone down, but it hasn’t gotten higher than one hundred three degrees.”
I get Bennett out of the bath and into some clean clothes. When I tell him Reece is here with one of his friends, he bolts from the room. Taking my time to get my head together, I pull on a new t-shirt so Reece will stop staring daggers at me.
I finally make my way to the living room and find Bennett sitting in Reece’s lap with Reece holding him close. It strikes me how much Bennett means to him. Anyone can say the words, but to see it and feel it means a whole lot more. Mom always said, “Actions speak louder than words.” I knew Reece liked Bennett, but that’s not difficult, since he’s a likable kid. The way Reece is holding him, though, is different. You can tell how concerned he is about his health, how much he cares about my little boy.
Garret is doing his doctor thing. He checks Bennett out by listening to his heartbeat, taking his temperature, looking in his ears and throat. Garret tells us that he probably has a strain of the flu virus, and that the only thing we can do is give him fluids and keep an eye on things for the next couple of days. He recommends that if things don’t get better, I need to bring him to his pediatrician.
We all sit and talk for about twenty minutes while Reece holds Bennett in his arms. Eventually, the poor kid falls asleep. Reece takes him back to his room and tucks him into his bed. Garret leaves shortly after that, saying he has to meet up with their friend, his roommate, Logan Cutter.
“Why didn’t you tell me last night that Bennett wasn’t doing well?” he shouts, the minute we walk back into the house.
“First, keep your voice down. I don’t need my son hearing another man speak to a woman like that. Second, he didn’t start throwing up until after I talked to you,” I quip right back.
Standing in the living room, I refuse to sit while Reece is still pacing around.
“Don’t be cute, Maci. We’ve talked several times since then. How am I supposed to take care of my family if you don’t tell me what’s going on?”
“I didn’t realize that would be something you’d need to know.” As soon as I speak the words, I want to suck them back in. The pain in his expression is enough to make me want to rewind the past twenty-four hours.
“I’m sorry, Reece. I shouldn’t have said it like that. It’s just that I know you’re busy at Panthera, and I didn’t want to bother you with something I had under control.”
“You didn’t want to bother me? Maci, I thought we were in this together. I thought we were driving down the same road, in the same fucking truck.” He says, punctuating his last words by slamming his hand down on the counter.
“We are, Reece. I want all of those things with you.”
“When I said I wanted everything with you, I meant every single thing. I don’t just want the fun and shiny parts of you. I want the ugly and hard. I need the dirty, the real-life shit that comes with being a husband and a dad. That means I not only want to take care of Bennett when he’s sick, but that I need to. You two are my priority, above all else.”
“I want that too, Reece, but I’m scared to want it. I’m scared that letting you in is going to ultimately push you away. Being a parent isn’t easy, and then you have my ex to deal with, too. I can’t help but think that it isn’t fair to you. You should get to start this journey fresh with someone, not tagging in at the end of the first quarter. I get so caught up in it. I don’t even want to give you the hard, because then you might leave or resent me for it.” I say, as the truth drips from my eyes in tears.
“That isn’t your choice, Maci, it’s mine, and I’ve already made it. I’m not going back on my word, and I’m never going to change my mind,” he says to me as I hear the sincerity of his words.
“You’re my dream, Reece. A dream I gave up on. Then, my dream came back to me, out of the blue, basically delivered to my doorstep. I’m scared to get wrapped up in my dream and wake up to the reality that I can’t keep you. I haven’t been all in because I was holding a little back for myself.”
He wipes my tears from my face and kisses my cries silent. When they turn to moans, he grabs my ass in both hands and lifts me, so I’m able to wrap my legs around his center. He carries me to my bedroom and lays me down in the middle of the bed. He lies on top of me and holds my face with both palms on the side of my head, so that I’m looking into his eyes.
“Give me that last piece, Maci Kate. You are my fucking queen, the only one who can rule my soul. I went into this with eyes wide open. I knew you had baggage before I even came to that barbecue. I went there with the intention to see you again, and hopefully get you to go out on a date with me. You, my girl, were my dream first. I want it all, do you hear me, Maci? I’m marrying you. I’m adopting Bennett, and we are facing all our demons together. You good with that?”
I’m stunned. Did he ask me what I think he did?
“Are you asking me to marry you?”
He grins at me and digs in his pocket for something. Then, he pulls out a little black box and opens it.
“No,” he says.
“No? But you just…and it’s…my God, Reece—”
“I’m not asking. We are getting married, Maci. When I found out that you kept the news about Bennett being sick from me, I knew I needed to make the place you both hold in my life clear.” He takes out the vintage looking white gold ring, centered with a round solitaire diamond, out of the box, and slides it onto my fourth ring finger.
“And where’s that?” I whisper, stunned by the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen, and the profound meaning behind it.
“Beside me. You’re meant to be right beside me, always,” he says, before kissing me silent.