Maci Kate
While I’m folding the load of laundry that just came out of the dryer, Bennett runs into the living room, looking around. When he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, he leaves and runs around, searching the house. After a few minutes of him running through my house, which he knows he isn’t supposed to do, I decide to end this madness. I’m all for letting the kid figure his issues out, but sometimes you need to step in and lend some assistance.
“Bennett Alexander, get your cute butt in here.”
The running halts. “Yes ma’am!” he screams. I hear him stampede down the hall, back to where I’m still folding clothes.
“Yes, ma’am?” he asks sweetly, but out of breath.
“First off, why are you tearing through this house like you don’t have any sense? Are you supposed to be running around in here?”
He looks down at his feet, shaking his head. “No, ma’am. I was so excited to get up from my nap. I wanted to play with—never mind, it doesn’t matter. He left.”
Disappointment fills his face, and I bet he feels worse than I do that Reece is gone. That sounds crazy, because I’m pretty damn disappointed myself.
“Come on, buddy, let’s get a snack, and we can talk about Reece.”
He smiles, but I can tell he’s still sad that his new friend isn’t here to play. I sigh, following him into the kitchen. Me too, buddy. Me too, I think to myself.
I put his snack of grapes in a bowl and we sit down at the table. “Where did Reece go?”
“Reece had to go home, Boo Bear. You know we have work and school tomorrow? He had to get ready for work. He told me to tell you bye and that he did want to play Power Rangers when you got up.”
He thinks about this. “Will he come over tomorrow?”
I shake my head and I see the hope in his hazel eyes begin to dim. “Benny, you know the week is busy for Momma, getting us to work and school, and then home for dinner and bath.”
“Can he help with dinner and bath, like Nana does sometimes?” God, he likes Reece a whole hell of a lot. Bennett likes most people, but not usually this much. I’m so pissed that David is forcing this. He’s not only hurting me, but he’s hurting Bennett, too. It’s not like he ever plays with him. When he lived here, he was never home, or he would ignore Bennett if he asked him to play anything.
“Baby, Reece works a lot. I don’t think he has time to come over right now.” When it looks like he might cry, I pull him out of his chair and into my lap.
“He was going to be my new best friend. He said we were all going to be best friends. You, me, and him. Forever.”
Pulling his head to my chest, I hold him there and rub his back. I shield him from the tears that are daring to fall from my eyes. Sucking in a breath, I will myself to be strong before I speak. “You and I will always be best friends, Benny. Forever.”
“And Reece too?” God, how my teenage heart wishes that were true. It wishes Reece were your father and not that waste of space, David. “I’m not sure, baby. We’ll see, okay?”
“Okay, Momma, we’ll see,” he says glumly. I bring the bowl of grapes closer to us. He sits on my lap as he finishes his snack, eating them half-heartedly.
When he’s finished, I offer to play karate with him, but he doesn’t want to. I get his blocks out to build towers like we did a few days ago, but he says he will play with me later. He settles on watching Power Rangers and lies there, instead of doing the moves with the show like he usually does. It’s killing me to see him so upset about Reece. He’s usually a happy kid.
I finish my laundry and read on the couch next to Bennett. I make his favorite dinner— spaghetti and meatballs with rolls and chocolate milk—hoping to make him happy. He doesn’t eat much of it. He takes a quick bath, not wanting to play fish, and gets ready for bed. His silence is killing me, and I’m feeling like a bad mom for telling Reece that he couldn’t come over anymore.
After I read him a Curious George story, he’s asleep. I kiss his forehead, and pull up the covers that he will kick off in the next few minutes. I leave his door cracked and walk to my room.
Settling in bed, I lie down with my iPad, getting ready to read, but can’t get interested. All I can think about is what a great morning we had, followed by an awful afternoon. I’m so pissed that David is doing this to us. I know we are never getting back together and it’s time he figures that out, too. Even though I hate to do it, I need to talk to my dad, see if he can help me figure something out. While I’m setting my alarm for the morning, I get a text from Reece.
Reece: I missed you all afternoon, my angel.
Me: Bennett has been sad since he woke up and you were gone. It made me feel like the villain in one of his stories.
Reece: Missed him, too. He’s my new best friend.
Me: Please don’t play like that with him. He’s four. He takes it all to heart.
Reece: I wasn’t playing. It’s us against the world, angel. You, Bennett, and me.
God, I wish that could be true. I don’t text him back. I don’t know what to say to his last message. After a few minutes, he must have figured it out, because he texts again.
Reece: Goodnight, my beautiful.
Me: Goodnight.
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