Chapter 6

Sunshine warms my face, and I crack open one eye, blinded by brightness. Swift movement shakes the bed slightly, and then the room is bathed in darkness again. Strong arms slide around my waist as Bryce situates himself against my back. His breathing evens out, indicating he’s fallen back asleep.

My mind replays through the events of last night. We finally talked Quinn into leaving around two a.m. Bryce helped pack my bags, and I followed him to his room. Once we got here, I changed into my pajamas, washed my face, and gave myself a pep talk. Bryce hadn’t pressured me at all, but anticipation burned through me. I’m not entirely inexperienced, but I also don’t have a great track record—hence the loser list.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Bryce had changed into athletic shorts and was waiting for me on the balcony. I gasped at the sight of him. It had been a long time since I’d seen him shirtless, but nothing could have prepared me. Moonlight spread across the small space, allowing me to see every ridge and plane that contoured his stomach, chest, and shoulders. His biceps bulged as he braced himself against the railing.

“Hi.” My voice was barely audible.

His eyes raked over my simple shorts and tank, and he pushed back, stalking to me.

“Hi yourself.”

Without asking, I ran my hands over every inch of exposed skin, stopping at his waist. His breath hitched a few times, but he never stopped me. His hand cupped my chin, and he lifted my face to his, kissing me sweetly and softly. After a few minutes, he sat us down facing the ocean. I leaned into him, settling my head against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. When I fell asleep, he brought me to bed and tucked me in tight, joining me a few minutes later and pulling me close.

I slept soundly until that sliver of light hit me this morning. Quietly rolling away from him, I go to the bathroom. Once my teeth are brushed and face washed, I check my phone for any missed calls or messages. My parents sent a quick note saying Happy New Year’s but nothing else.

When I open the bathroom door, Bryce is propped on the pillows with his hands linked behind his head. His eyes rake over me, causing a shudder. We look at each other for a minute before I make my way back to the bed and curl into him, settling in the crevice of his shoulder. My lips touch his neck, and I nip lightly before wrapping my arms around him.

“Good morning.”

“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Look at me.”

I look into his deep blue eyes, which have turned the shade of sapphire, and all my nerves relax. We both smile before he kisses me and moves me on top of him. There’s no way to ignore the bulge that hits my hip, and I roll into him.

“Devon,” he groans.

“What? I can’t help it.”

“Try.”

“Sorry.” I try to roll away, but he holds me in place.

“Never be sorry with me. Ever. I’m the one who will spend the rest of my life wondering what could have happened If I’d have spoken up.”

“What do you mean?”

“I may have told you the last two weeks how much you mean to me, but the time we lost fucking tears me up. I’m thrilled with the life you have and the accomplishments you’ve made. I have so much regret it kills me.”

“How can we get past it?”

“I need to know you forgive me, really forgive me. See where I was coming from and know I was thinking about what was best for you.”

I want to quit this back and forth, and in my mind, I know there’s only one way to let go. “Then we need to talk about what happened. All of it, including my heartbreak. I’ve heard your story, but you need to hear mine, too. The good, the bad, the ugly. My road to healing was filled with mistakes and stupidity.”

His body tenses, but he nods and leans into me for another kiss.

“This is it, sweet girl. After today, we let it go. I hear you out, listen to what I already suspect. You got it?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

“I already told you I have a plan, and you are one-hundred percent a part of it. When we leave Miami, we’re a couple, a team. We move past everything. Can you do that?”

“Can you?”

“Devon, I already have. If I thought it was right, you’d be naked underneath me screaming my name. But I’m not ready for that until you promise you’re okay.”

His words send a rush of heat through me, and I push into his hips, which cause a guttural groan.

“Baby, you have to stop. I can’t take it.”

“Why do you want me to stop? Isn’t a sexual relationship just as important as an emotional one?”

“Yeah, but I already know we’ll be off the charts. I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“For who?”

“For us. I need to know how deep the emotional wounds go, for both of us. Tell me what you think I need to know.”

I sigh but open the floodgates, telling him everything, going back to the day of my graduation until the day I saw him on the plane. I tell him about my failed dates, the guys I semi-crushed on, and the moments of weakness I would bring out pictures of all us growing up. Several times, he squeezes me against him, almost too tight, but I don’t stop him.

A part of me is disappointed with myself for being so open, so trusting, but I’ve always been an open book. No sense holding back now. Even if he leaves and screws me over again, I’ll know he heard the truth.

When I’m done, a weight is lifted off my shoulders, but he’s tight and unreadable. His relaxed demeanor disappears and is replaced with tension.

“Bryce?”

“Give me a minute. I’m trying to find a way not to kick my own ass and at the same time reel in my emotions.”

We stay silent, and guilt starts to bubble up. He already had a few shitty years. How dare I unload on him so insensitively?

“I’m sorry. I should have been more—”

“I told you to never be sorry with me. I’m a fucking shithead. Your pain guts me.”

“I was young and in love with a fairytale—”

“You’ll get your fairytale.”

“I’m still young, Bryce. I have some growing to do.”

“And you’ll do it with me.”

“How can you be so certain? You have a lot ahead of you. Officer Candidate School, training, who knows what else… You don’t need to make empty promises.”

“Devon Marie Harris, my promises to you will never be empty. How about you? Are you ready to give up the ever-growing loser list?”

“Yes, but swear to God, you better not screw around on me. If you ever think we’re not working, tell me.”

“Is that what you’re scared of? Me screwing around?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You have absolutely no reason in the world to ever worry. Thought I told you that leaving Aspen. I may be an asshole, but I’m not a cheater, and for the first time in my life, everything I need is right here. Seriously, I’m crazy about you.”

“Ummhmm, sweet talker. We’ll see.” I cuddle my head into his shoulder and close my eyes, ready to fall back asleep.

The shrill sound of Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” fills the room, and I jump, almost falling off the bed. Bryce catches me with a smirk on his face. Thoughts of strangling Quinn come to mind for setting that as her ring tone.

“What?” I shout.

“No need to shout. Are you and lover boy up?”

“Yes, I was actually about to fall back asleep. What’s up?” I yawn.

“No sleep. We’re going to the beach. Meet me in the room in twenty minutes.”

“Quinn… I’m so tired,” I whine.

“Bitch, suck it up. Bring your man-candy along. Dean is meeting us down there.”

“Okay, we’ll see you there. But promise me you’ll never refer to Bryce as man-candy again. It freaks me out.”

“Wear the blue bikini, and I’ll think about not embarrassing you.” She hangs up

Bryce walks up and opens the drapes, exposing the view of the ocean and shoreline.

“We going to the beach?” he questions.

“Looks like it.”

“Any chance you packed a one piece or full body suit?”

“No, it’s a nude beach.” I watch his face turn from tan to red to almost purple before I hunch over laughing. “Just kidding! “

“You’ll pay for that.”

“I look forward to it.”

The beach is already crowded when we walk down, but we’re able to get the last cabana. Bryce’s eyes grow wide when I remove my cover up, but he doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head. He and Dean decide to join in a game of beach volleyball, but before he leaves, he lifts me up and gives me a long, deep kiss. I lose myself in him and forget we are on a public beach.

“That should do until I get back.” He pecks my forehead and leaves me in a daze.

“Thank God! I’ve been dying to get you alone since he surprised you in the bar last night. Time to spill.” Quinn cocks one eyebrow at me, and I tell her everything.

“Jesus, less than three weeks ago, I left you in an airport on the way to a family Christmas. Now, you have a boyfriend who is planning a ‘long-term strategy’? How the hell does this happen. Not to mention, it’s the same guy you’ve been in love with since you were in middle school.”

“Not sure how it happened, but I’m not questioning it.”

“No, but what happens now?”

“We go back to school and finish the semester. Maybe I can go home, or have Bryce come to Virginia, for spring break.”

“Are you going to be okay with the distance?”

“I have no choice. If I want to be with him, that’s the trade-off.”

“What about after he and Nate graduate?”

“That’s where things get a little shady. They’ll both have to go to Officer Candidate School in Rhode Island for at least twelve weeks. After that, I don’t know.”

“I think it’s safe to say he’s into you, Devon, deep. OCS won’t change that. So can we discuss something serious?”

“Of course.” I look at her nervously.

“If this thing heads down the aisle, promise me you won’t make me wear a pink bridesmaid dress. Actually, no pastels at all.”

“Quinn! That’s your serious discussion? You’re insane. A little soon to talk about that. Besides, I’m only nineteen.”

“Yes, but you’ll be twenty soon. Your parents got married young.”

“Stop, we aren’t talking about this. At all. You’ll jinx it before it even has a chance to start.”

“Okay, but I reserve the right to bring it up again when I think things are that serious.”

“Fine!” I huff and roll over. Her chuckle irritates me, but I smile as I doze off.

Cold water dripping down my arm wakes me. The cabana bed dips, and I roll into a rock hard, wet body.

“Bryce! What are you doing?”

“Staking claim.” His arm slips under my waist, and he pulls me half on top of him.

“We’re at the beach, in public.”

“I know.” He kisses along my jawline.

“There’s a question I’ve been dying to ask, but it’s really rude.”

“Try me?”

“How did you afford all this? The flight to Colorado, the flight here, the ocean front room?”

“I’ve got a decent savings account. The Navy Reserves pays a little, and I’ve been doing some work in Knoxville, bouncing at a bar a few nights a week.”

“You work in a bar?”

“Yeah, pays decent, and they work with my schedule.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It never came up.”

“Anything else I don’t know?”

“Nothing really. I think you know the most important things.”

A feeling of unease comes over me, and my eyes fill with tears. I try to will them back, but they escape and roll down my cheeks, dropping on his chest.

“Hey now, what’s going on?” He lifts my chin, giving me no choice but to meet his gaze.

“I just realized how much of your life I missed. I didn’t even know you had a part-time job. For a minute, my mind wondered back to when I knew everything: your classes, your schedule, everything.”

“Baby, quit it. Remember, we let it all go. You’ll know now and every day going forward.”

I nod to agree with him and lean forward to kiss him lightly.

“So let’s talk about tomorrow night. What are we doing?”

“It’s a surprise, and I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“I enjoy anything when I’m with you,” I say softly, laying my head back on his chest.

“I’m counting on it.”