August 2003
I can’t get the last image I have of Mia out of my head. The two of them kissing, her looking blissfully fucking happy, them riding off into the goddamn sunset. Before when I’d think about her it’d make me sad, depressed even. Now, it infuriates me, makes me sick to my stomach.
Luke and I are on our way to pick up Laurie and Amber, the same girls Mia heard over the phone and got pissed about. This isn’t the first time we’ve hung out with them, and despite Amber’s best attempts to get me to fuck her, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Call me a pussy, but I’m not ready. It feels wrong. My mind—and other areas—tell me to get on with it, but my heart tells me I belong to someone else.
That’s what love does to you. It lures you in like a predator to its trap under this false sense of security only to pull the rug out from under you in the end. And when you’re lying on your back, utterly destroyed and trying as hard as you can to breathe, you know you’ll never be the same. Love leaves a deep wound where even its scar hurts.
“Hey, ladies,” Luke greets as they get in the car. I glance behind me and they’re dressed like twins. They do this often and I find it pretty ridiculous, but I guess they think they’re cute, so whatever.
They both have on halter tops that plunge in the front and are short enough to show their stomachs. I’m sure their asses are barely covered by their skirts if the amount of leg I’m seeing in the car is any indication.
“Lookin’ good, Blake,” Amber flirts.
“You too, babe.” I flash her a smirk and do my best to fake my interest before turning back around as we head to the club.
About twenty minutes later, we find a place to park. “Dude, you need to up your game. I kinda like Laurie, so I need you to be my wingman, got it?” Luke says low enough the girls can’t hear us. I nod.
Luke has done a lot for me by giving me a place to stay. The least I can do is put on a happy face and try to have some fun. Who knows, this might be good for me too. It might help me let go little by little.
The club is loud and packed, filled wall to wall with people. It only opened a couple weeks ago, but by the looks of it, it seems to be a hit. “What do you want to drink?” I ask into Amber’s ear.
“Sex on the beach,” she shouts over the music.
You only have to be eighteen to get into this place, but thanks to Luke’s old I.D. that he told the DMV he lost, I can drink too. When the bartender comes over to me, I place our orders. “Can I get a sex on the beach and a Bud Lite?”
He nods before going to make them. Turning my back to the bar, I look around. It’s dim in here with laser lights flying all over the dance floor. The only other light I notice is coming from the perimeter where a purple beam shines up the walls.
“Here you go.” Facing the bar again, I throw him some cash and grab our drinks.
When I hand Amber her girly concoction, she chugs it almost immediately. My eyes widen in surprise. “Damn,” I say. That’s the quickest ten dollars I’ve ever spent.
She smiles seductively, taking my comment as a positive. “Let’s dance.” She bites her lip and grabs my arm, leading us to the dance floor. The beat is thumping and bodies are moving everywhere. The last—and only—person I’ve danced with is Mia. My eyes squeeze shut as I try to block out those thoughts. They’re not welcome and I’ve got to get out of my head if only for tonight.
Amber takes the lead, not needing me to do a damn thing. With her arms draped over my shoulders, she rolls her pelvis into my hips, rubbing my dick as she does. It doesn’t take long for me to respond. Grabbing her hips with my hands, I let her do her thing and hold on for the ride.
When she’s done grinding the front of her body on mine, she turns around and shoves her ass into me. My eyes focus on her ass and that’s the only thing I think about as I watch it bounce up and down. The song comes to a stop and she stands upright and faces me again, a pleased smile on her face.
“I need another drink,” she says.
She downs the next one I buy for her and I chug my next beer. I’m way too sober for this shit. With a little booze running through my system, I get bolder and don’t give a shit about anything else except for what’s in front of me. So when Amber bends over and shakes her ass in front of me, I give it a good smack. She gasps and shoots up quickly. When she turns around, one corner of my mouth quirks up challenging her to say she didn’t enjoy that.
Her eyes go to my lips. “Mmmm, I like that,” she purrs.
“Want to get out of here?” I point over my shoulder to the exit.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
“Let me find Luke and then we can go.”
Scanning the crowd, I see him off to the side with Laurie, whispering in her ear. “Hey,” I shout, breaking the two of them up. “Amber and I are going to grab a cab and get out of here. You cool?”
Luke gives me a knowing look. “Yeah, we’re good.” He pats me on the back and I head toward the front to join Amber.
As we’re waiting for a cab, she’s hanging all over me and giggling. Normally, I hate girls that giggle nonstop, but right now she’s exactly what I need. Her body leans into mine as her head goes back and she laughs at something.
At that moment, my eyes lock in on the one person I hoped to never see again. She looks as surprised to see me as I am her. A vision of her in the parking lot flashes through my mind. Anger and the need to get even possess me, so I lean down and lick up the side of Amber’s neck before biting her earlobe. My hands go around behind her, cup her ass, and pull her into me. The whole time my eyes stay on Mia’s.
“Oh, God. I can’t wait to get back to your place,” Amber moans.
“Me too, baby.” I grind my hips into her and she lets out another groan. Without another thought, I kiss Amber. I kiss her rough and hard, punishing her mouth with my tongue, and she asks for more like the greedy girl she is.
When I peel her off of me, I look over at Mia just in time to see her run off. I don’t care about the hurt on her face or the tears in her eyes. The only thing I see is Petey’s slimy arms all over her and her lips on him. Well, now she knows what I went through and I hope her heart feels as if it’s being ripped out like mine was.
Amber and I don’t waste time on foreplay and sweet words when we get to my apartment. We both have one goal in mind and we’re racing to that finish line. She wants to ride me, but I don’t have it in me to look at her, so I flip her around and fuck her from behind after I put on a condom.
The first time I banged Amber, I was a little sick to my stomach. I had to hold my eyes wide open to keep flashbacks of Mia from flashing across the back of my eyelids. Despite being angry with her, I still love her. But with each time, and then each different chick, it became easier and easier until I was numb. I had successfully shut off the part of my heart that gave a shit, the part that kept me in a place of constant hurt and pain. The part that had me thinking of Mia.
Luke was right; he was able to show me the way to forget her. It wasn’t immediate, but three months and a revolving door of girls later, I’ve accomplished it. Because as I lie here and let some new girl suck my dick, Mia is the last thing on my mind.