“So what are you going to do?” Christian’s voice broke the silence of the morning, and with it, the spell that seemed to be over the two of them, where they existed in a bubble outside time.

Jonah knew what he was really asking. Today was D-day—departure day. The day the two of them would leave Larksong and go back to their lives. “About what?” he asked, feigning ignorance.

“You know what,” Christian said, lightly elbowing him in the ribs.

Well, at least he’d gained himself a few seconds, even if he still didn’t have a good answer. He sighed and rolled onto his side, propping himself up on one arm. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “I know what we had this week was special. It literally changed my life. But I don’t know if I’m ready to come out publicly. I mean, it’s not like I’m dating anyone.”

The words stung more than they should have. What had started out as largely sating a need had quickly become so much more than that. Christian was the kind of person he could see himself building a relationship with. Someone long-term. Which would be great, if Christian lived anywhere remotely close to California, instead of two thousand miles away.

“That’s true,” Christian said slowly. “I just… I think you could do a lot of good by acknowledging this side of yourself to the public. Think of all the kids who could look up to you as a successful bisexual person and see that no matter what their life looks like now, it gets better.”

Jonah let out a slow breath. “Chris, please. I honestly can’t think about that right now. All I can think about is how I feel about it. It’s too new.”

He hated using that as a cop out, but in many ways, it was the truth. The past week had given him a lot to consider. First, he’d found out he wasn’t as straight as he had always thought he was, and then he’d had to think about his career. Hollywood was more accepting than it once was—people like Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen DeGeneres had proven that—but it was still a big announcement to make, and he didn’t know how well it would be received. Aspen would probably shit herself when he told her.

Rather than saying anything else, Christian just sighed and leaned forward to kiss him softly. “You’re right. I keep forgetting everyone takes things at different paces. Just because I was ready to be out and proud doesn’t mean you have to be. Take your time. Do what feels right for you.”

Jonah wrapped his arms around Christian and pulled him close, his eyes fluttering shut. “This feels right to me. Being with you, being here… it feels like this is where I belong.”

“I know. It feels right to me, too.” He chuckled and shook his head. “If you had told sixteen-year-old me that I would ever be in this position, I would have called you a liar.”

Jonah grinned. Over the last few days, Christian had revealed just how obsessed he’d been, from crushing hard on Jonah as a teenager to following his film career just to keep up with him. Coming from anyone else, it might have been creepy. But this was Christian. He knew Christian. And now, he knew him in more ways than one.

“Well I’m glad I could indulge your fantasy,” he said.

“You did more than that. I can’t…” Christian pulled away. “This meant something to me. I mean, I know you said it was special, but I can’t even put into words what it meant to me. It was more than just a fling. It was…”

“I know.” Jonah slid his hand up and down Christian’s side. “I know. I feel it too.”

“You sure you don’t want to move to Louisville?” A wobbly smile tried to form on Christian’s lips, but it didn’t quite stick.

“You know I can’t.”

Though he had to admit, the temptation was pretty strong at the moment. No one would ever pry into his personal life again. He wouldn’t have to pretend to date a slew of actresses he didn’t actually care for. And with his savings, he wouldn’t technically have to work another day in his life.

But there would be no more film projects. No more bringing to life roles he loved. No immersing himself in scripts and plots and working with amazing actors. That was a deal-breaker.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “If I could find a way to bring these two worlds together, I would.”

Christian shrugged. “Maybe you can. Not with me, but maybe you’ll find someone just as special you can fall in love with. I… I want that for you. I really do.”

Jonah didn’t know who to believe—the conviction in Christian’s voice or the look in his eyes. But Christian was trying, and he had to give him that. So rather than calling his bluff, Jonah just snuggled closer. “I want that for you, too. You deserve it.”

And he did. If anyone deserved happiness and a family to call their own, it was Christian. He had so much love to give, so much to offer. So much that his mom had taken for granted.

“Thanks.” Christian’s voice was muffled, his lips pressed against Jonah’s hair. A few moments later, he pulled back again. “We should uh… probably get out of bed. You have a flight to catch in a few hours.”

The flight was the last thing Jonah wanted to think about, but Christian was right. If they were going to clean up the cabin before they left, they needed to get started. Reluctantly, he rolled over and climbed out of bed. The real world beckoned.

* * *

Jonah heaved the last suitcase into Christian’s Prius and slammed the trunk. He took a deep breath and let it out, a puff forming in front of his face. When had it gotten so cold?

“Is it supposed to snow?” he asked.

Christian nodded. “Freak cold snap. It’s supposed to snow this afternoon and be back up in the forties by the end of the week.”

A laugh built inside Jonah until he couldn’t contain it. “That’s Kentucky for you, isn’t it?”

“Yep. You don’t like the weather here, just wait two days.”

Their laughter died, and they were left staring at each other. There were so many things Jonah wanted to say, but just as many reasons not to say them. So instead, he closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around Christian.

“Drive safe,” he said, his lips brushing Christian’s ear.

“I will. You’ll text when you land?”

“Yeah.”

He could count the number of people who had this particular phone number on two hands. That someone outside of his family and Aspen had it was almost unheard of. But for Christian, he had been happy to make the exception.

Christian tried to break the hug, but Jonah only clung harder. The ache in his chest seemed to radiate outward, so his very fingertips hurt at the thought of letting go.

“Jonah, I—”

Whatever Christian was going to say was cut off as Jonah kissed him, cupping his face in both hands. Slowly, he backed Christian up against the side of the Prius, everything in him demanding that he get as close as possible. He slid one arm around Christian’s back, gripping his sweatshirt as though it were the only thing anchoring him. Salt mingled with the taste of Christian on his tongue. Was Christian seriously crying? But then a sob escaped him, muffled by Christian’s lips, and Jonah realized it wasn’t Christian at all.

“I know,” Christian whispered, breaking the kiss. He wrapped both arms around Jonah and held him, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I have to go. And so do you.”

He was right, but that didn’t mean Jonah liked it. Sniffing, Jonah nodded and backed away, wiping at his eyes. “Let me know when you get home.”

“I will.” Christian climbed in the car and started the engine. “I’ll see you the next time you come to Kentucky,” he said. Then he closed the door and started down the drive.

Jonah watched him go, until he turned left and his car was hidden by the dense trees. The chill he’d felt earlier was almost unbearable now, so he wrapped his arms around himself and headed back up the porch steps and into the house. As he pulled the door closed behind him, the rattle seemed to echo through the halls. And to think, he’d actually been upset when he found out there was someone else staying here.

His bags were packed, but Jonah wasn’t quite ready to leave yet. Instead, he made his way to the kitchen to make sure everything was cleaned up. The last thing he wanted was for his aunt and uncle to come back and find milk that had been in the fridge for a month.

Grabbing a disinfectant wipe from the cabinet, he walked over to the table and wiped it down, remembering the fish they’d had for dinner two nights earlier. After days of failed attempts to catch anything, he’d finally reeled in a trout. Between Jonah and Christian, they’d made a good team. Christian didn’t have any problem cleaning and scaling it, and Jonah had cooked it up with green beans and cornbread. He’d forgotten, until Christian refreshed his memory, why Christian refused to go out fishing with him.

Apparently one of the summers they’d spent together, Uncle Richard had taken all three of them fishing—Mason, Christian, and Jonah. They’d been in two boats; Jonah with Uncle Richard and Mason with Christian. Everything had been fine for the first part of the afternoon. Jonah and Uncle Richard had caught a few fish while Mason and Christian seemed more interested messing around in their boat. Jonah was in the middle of reeling in his third when somehow, Mason and Christian managed to turn over their boat.

They’d all been wearing life jackets, so there was no real risk of drowning, but according to Christian, the experience had left him with a distaste for going fishing. In all honesty, he probably just got bored too easily and gave up after five minutes. That seemed far more likely.

Gathering the last of the trash, Jonah made one last sweep of the house, pausing only for a few seconds when he got to the master bedroom. It seemed strange that his aunt and uncle would come back to visit and never know just how special this trip had been for him. They would sleep in that bed never knowing that Jonah and Christian had had sex there, or how meaningful it had been. It was probably for the best. For one, they probably wouldn’t appreciate the fact that Jonah and Christian had slept in their bed. But also, the fact that no one knew made it that much easier for him to lock this part of himself away until he knew what he wanted to do with it.

After a quick stop at the dumpster, he headed to his SUV. His flight wasn’t for another four hours, but it would take another two and a half to get to the airport. He buckled his seat belt, but instead of immediately putting the car in park, he stared at the house. So much had happened in that cabin in the woods. So many Christmases and Thanksgivings spent with his extended family, such a feeling of homecoming every time he came back. And now he had a new reason to consider this his favorite place in the world.

With a sigh, he shifted gears and pulled out of the drive, watching the cabin get smaller in the rearview mirror. He was going back to his penthouse. Back to his career. Back to the exciting life he’d always wanted. So why did he feel like he was burying himself alive?