When Christian woke, it was pitch black outside. It took him a moment to realize where he was, but when he did, he rolled over, searching for Jonah. Immediately, he regretted the movement and groaned.

“Careful,” Jonah said, shifting beside him. “Are you okay?”

How was he even supposed to answer that question? He’d gone from fighting with Jonah to being fucked by him in such a short span it almost gave him whiplash to think about, and now they were just sleeping together like it was no big deal. Like he had never accidentally published the fucking blog post in the first place.

“I think so,” he murmured. “My ass hurts, but I kind of expected that one.”

“It wasn’t too much was it?” The uncertainty in Jonah’s voice was almost endearing.

Christian shook his head. “No. Trust me, I loved every single second of it. You definitely surprised me, though. I didn’t think you would do something like that.”

Chuckling, Jonah slung an arm around Christian’s waist. “Honestly, that makes two of us. I just… did what felt right at the time.” He paused and Christian felt his lips against his shoulder. “Are you sure it was okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said firmly. “Am I sore? Yeah. But I’m not that fragile. It’ll take more than a rough fuck to break me.”

Jonah relaxed behind him. “Okay. Good. It was good for me, too.”

He grinned. “Oh believe me, I never doubted whether you were into it. Not even a little bit.”

They fell silent and Christian pressed back against him, savoring how it felt to be held by Jonah. More than likely, it would be the last time this ever happened. Before they’d fallen asleep, Jonah had said he thought he forgave him, but that had also been just after the most mind-blowing sex Christian could have imagined. For all he knew, Jonah would take it back now that he was thinking clearly. Christian wouldn’t fight it if that were the case. It was what he deserved.

“Why are you so tense?” Jonah asked, massaging his shoulder.

Like he even had to ask. “You know why.”

“Oh.” He heaved a sigh. “We should probably talk about it.”

Christian nodded. As much as he wanted to stay in bed and forget the problem he’d created, they needed to actually discuss this like adults, instead of fighting about it. He stretched and climbed out of bed, wincing as he stood. Ibuprofen was definitely high on his list of needs at the moment.

After a brief retreat to the en suite, Jonah returned in the fluffiest robe Christian had ever seen. He held out a second one and Christian took it, sliding his arms in and belting it around his waist. It was like being enveloped in a cloud.

“Holy shit, where did you get these? I want to steal it, but I’m pretty sure that’s only acceptable at hotels.”

“I don’t even think that’s acceptable at hotels, Chris,” Jonah said with a wry grin.

He led Christian back into the living room and took a seat on one of the boxy, orange armchairs. Looking from chair to couch, Christian hesitate. The furniture looked so perfect, he hardly wanted to sit on it. His own couch was a hand-me-down from Mason’s parents that they’d had for years. It was a nice couch—the leather didn’t have any tears in it, and only a couple of stains—but it looked like it was meant for sitting on. This looked like it was meant to be admired.

“It’s just a chair,” Jonah said. “You don’t have to worry about messing it up.”

Though he wanted to argue, instead, he took the sofa adjacent to Jonah’s seat. Otherwise, he would have to twist his neck at an awkward angle to talk. He pulled his feet up underneath him and settled back against the surprisingly-plush cushions.

“So,” he said, drawing out the word. What was he supposed to say? Where was he supposed to start? He’d already apologized, but it still felt like there was so much that needed to be discussed.

“Like I said before, I think I forgive you,” Jonah said slowly. “Was I hurt by the post? Absolutely. Does it still have the power to hurt me? Yes. Am I still mad about it? You have no idea.” If this was supposed to be making Christian feel better, Jonah was failing. “But, and this is a very important but, it’s not like you meant to post it. You were trying to work through your feelings in your own way.”

Christian let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Finally, finally it looked like Jonah understood his side of things. That was honestly the best he could hope for. It would be nice to be completely forgiven, but that would only come with time and healing. And it would take figuring out what to do about the entire rumor mess.

“Thank you for seeing it from my perspective,” he said. “I swear I never meant to hurt you. I love you. Why would I want to cause you pain?”

Jonah’s eyes went wide, and Christian cursed himself. Admitting that in person probably wasn’t the best idea, even though Jonah had definitely read it in the blog post. At least the post could be explained away as the drunken ramblings of someone who didn’t know how to process his feelings. This… this couldn’t be taken back. It couldn’t be laughed off as a joke.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same thing,” he added quickly. “I’m not asking you to. I’m not going to be upset if you don’t feel it. I just… I just thought you should know.”

Licking his lips, Jonah rubbed his hands along the tops of his thighs. “I’d wondered if you meant it when you wrote it. I guess I have my answer.”

Was that a good or a bad thing? Jonah’s tone was annoyingly even. He swallowed hard. “Like I said, you don’t have to say it back.”

“You know, when I went to dinner with Kyle the other night, he told me you were in love with me. It wasn’t anything I didn’t know already, since I’d read your blog post. But then he told me something I really didn’t know. He said I was in love with you, too.”

Christian’s heart skipped a beat, but he didn’t let himself get too excited just yet. Jonah hadn’t actually said the words, only that a friend had told him he was in love with Christian. For all he knew, Jonah didn’t believe him.

“I don’t know whether he was right or not,” Jonah continued, “but I know I want to keep seeing you. I mean, you moved more than halfway across the country to apologize. That… that’s huge. And as mad as I still am, I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

“What are you saying?” Christian asked carefully. He refused to get his hopes up in case Jonah shot him down, but from the direction Jonah was headed, it sounded like he was actually thinking about giving him a chance.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I know I really like you. I know what we had at the cabin was more special than any other relationship I’ve ever been in, and that was only a week long. Think about how special it could be if we actually tried it.”

“It?”

“It. Us. A relationship. I want to do this thing.”

Christian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But your career…”

Jonah grimaced. “Yeah. I’m not gonna lie, I’m terrified about that. I um… I wouldn’t be able to be seen with you in public. I know how that sounds, and I’m sorry, but I’m just worried people would put two and two together.”

Oh. So Jonah was suggesting Christian be his dirty little secret. His side piece. The guy he fucked but never told anyone about. Christian had had friends in that situation before, mostly with men who were married, and while he’d never judged them, he’d also never thought he would ever be in their position. He tapped his index finger against his lips, trying to consider every angle of the situation.

On the one hand, he would still get to be with Jonah, which was huge. Life-long dream huge. But on the other hand, it would mean hiding every part of their relationship. He would never get to walk a red carpet hand-in-hand with the man he loved. There would be no nights out on the town, no dates at fancy restaurants, or any restaurants, at that. He wouldn’t get to show up on set with coffee just to see Jonah work. He would, essentially, be relegated to the bedroom.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” he said. “Spend my entire life behind closed doors, never able to acknowledge you?”

Jonah sighed. “I know. It’s not an ideal situation. Hell, it’s not even a good situation. But the timing is horrible right now. We’re about to start the press tour for Alpha Flight and if the story gets leaked, the entire tour would become about me and my sexuality.”

It was a valid point that Christian hadn’t thought about. More than just his own career, he had the careers of his costars to think about. The last thing he would want to do was take away publicity from them.

“That’s… understandable,” Christian said slowly. “I don’t want you to do anything that could hurt you or anyone else. But I also don’t want to be this thing you can’t talk about that gets hushed up. I mean, would you still go out on dates with random women your agent sets you up with?” He didn’t think he could handle seeing Jonah’s name linked with this actress or that, or worse, having to write about it for InTune.

“I don’t know. I would have to talk to Aspen about it. I’m sure she’d probably think it was for the best to keep seeing them, just so I didn’t raise suspicion.”

From what Jonah had told Christian about her, that was a very Aspen-like response.

“I just don’t want to do this permanently,” he said. “I can handle it for a while. I get that you have things you need to do first, but just promise me it won’t be forever.”

Jonah pressed his lips together. “It won’t be forever,” he said finally. “I promise that whatever happens, I’ll come out at some point. And I don’t mean down the road in ten years. Just… I need time to let people know. Not the press. My parents. My friends. The people I actually care about. And then I want to sit down with Aspen and figure out a way to break the story on our own terms. No waiting for the other shoe to drop on this blog thing.”

Christian winced. If not for him, they wouldn’t be sitting here worrying about this. Jonah would be focused on his next film and promoting Alpha Flight. Then again, if he hadn’t accidentally posted the blog, he wouldn’t be sitting here at all. He would have just let Jonah go and continued on in his career in Louisville. And while he couldn’t exactly be happy about their situation, he could say with certainty he was pleased he was here with Jonah.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“For what?” Jonah frowned. “I’m the one asking you to stay a secret, even if it is just for a little while.”

He shrugged. “For letting me in instead of closing the door in my face. For listening to me and forgiving me. For trying to make this work.”

Really, the list could go on. Christian had hurt Jonah in ways he would never be able to understand, had nearly destroyed every ounce of trust Jonah had in him, and yet, he had taken Christian back. He’d committed to a relationship. It was almost unbelievable, and yet, there they were.

Smiling softly, Jonah reached across and took his hand. “You’re welcome. Now then, do you want breakfast? I can make a mean scrambled eggs and bacon.”

Christian laughed and stood, their hands still linked. He had a feeling, that was about the extent of what Jonah knew how to cook. “How about I make us pancakes?”

“That sounds perfect.”