Chapter Fifteen
Connor
I felt like a complete and total dick. I knew this whole situation was my fault and yet I had no idea what to do about it. Or how to stop doing it.
I was hurting Gia, and frankly, I wasn’t helping myself either. Yeah, sex in the sauna was amazing. As was sex in the bathroom, bedroom, or wherever else I could do it with Gia. But after the explosive orgasm and the sweet floating in bliss moments, I was left with a stark feeling of emptiness that gnawed a hole in my gut.
What the hell was I doing? I wanted her…and I wanted to run in the opposite direction. I wanted to hold her hand when things were exciting, and I just as vehemently wanted to distance myself from any drama whatsoever, even if I was the one creating it.
I felt completely out of control, and in that madness, I was losing myself. The simple act of catching and throwing a baseball no longer made me happy. The sound of the bat hitting the ball didn’t fill me with joy. Suddenly, she was all I could think about. She was entwined with my pre-game ritual. And her articles about me and my attempts to increase my batting average had bound us together. My career was no longer just about me. I was now worried that I was disappointing her and the fans she’d created for me.
And that was no way to play baseball.
There was nothing else to do—I had to distance myself from her and go back to what worked in my life. Go back to the silence of my empty apartment and the completely balanced personal situation where I held Sophia in check while Cassie blossomed. That’s what I needed to do, even if I wanted Gia more than my next breath. Adding an extra person into the mix had destroyed my equilibrium.
And so that’s what I was going to do. No more walking the halls to smell Gia’s perfume. No more reading the press she generated, and no more hanging out at her birthday party. It was time to leave.
I went up into the owner’s box, maneuvering through bodies as I searched for Cassie. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to her. Gia and her siblings were standing around a massive sheet cake, and everyone was singing Happy Birthday. Once again, I was struck by the warmth I saw surrounding her. It was as if Gia was the sun, radiating a love that not only warmed everyone else but was reflected back to her. Her two brothers had wrapped their arms around her and Bailey, and they were either hugging or tweaking them, somehow. It was impossible to say which, but it was probably a combination of both.
I smiled while I watched, envy carving that hole in my gut larger. I wanted that with my sisters, but Cassie was too fragile for it, and getting that close to Sophia would be like trying to hug a viper. So I watched and wanted, until I gave up. It was time to leave—
The view suddenly jerked sideways.
I was knocked off-balance and threw my hand out, trying to grab onto anything to keep myself upright.
Part of me realized that a kid had been barreling forward, chasing another kid, and he’d clipped my knee. It was a silly thing, something that happened all the time when there were this many children around. But this boy was big, and careless in the way of all pre-teens. And he caught my knee in just the wrong way.
Unfortunately, there was nothing for me to grab onto.
I stumbled, trying to recover, but—
Pain. Pain. Pain!
Lightning bolts of agony shot through my body.
A hand caught me on the left, holding me up.
“Easy man. I got you.”
Jake. My cousin’s fiancé and the guy I’d punched a couple weeks ago. He was the last person I wanted to help me make a graceful exit, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. And he really was the only thing keeping me upright as pain and panic throbbed through my body.
“Can you walk?”
“No. Hop, yes.”
“Let’s not draw the attention of all those cell phone cameras.”
Oh hell.
Jake helped me pivot and head to the door. On the way out, he tugged on Rob’s sleeve. “Find the doc. We’re heading—”
“Hospital,” I gasped.
Both men shot me an alarmed look.
I gave them a weak smile back. This was my knee, and I already knew the drill. I was going to need an MRI, and we didn’t have the equipment here. Rob grabbed my other arm while cursing under his breath.
“The pennant race starts tomorrow,” he muttered.
Like I didn’t know it.
“It’ll be fine,” Jake countered. “The old man is just being dramatic.” He was teasing, trying to lighten the mood, but all three of us knew the truth.
My pennant dreams were toast. And likely, the rest of my career, too.