Chapter Eighteen
Gia
I tried to be quiet as I entered Connor’s apartment. I’d spent the last three hours creating the Bobcats’ press release and fielding calls from the press. Somehow Sophia had turned Connor’s knee injury into a feel-good piece about a player risking his career to save a child. It matched the frenzy of interest there’d been when Jake had rescued Ellie and a young boy from a burning building, except for one horrible difference. It was a lie.
And that put me in a terrible position. Sophia was obviously working overtime to create media buzz out of thin air. As the Bobcat representative, my job was to encourage all the good press I could, but this was a disaster in the making. I walked a fine line, trying to support Connor’s image without agreeing with anything Sophia said.
It was impossible, and in the end, I did something I never do. I turned off my phone. I abdicated my responsibility and caught an Uber to Connor’s apartment. He’d texted me that my keys were on his kitchen counter and that I should just walk in. No problem, except that once I got inside his apartment, I couldn’t resist checking in on him.
And he, naturally, woke up the second I came near.
“Gia?”
“Yeah. Just getting my keys. How do you feel?”
“Like I’m on the good drugs.”
I smiled. He did sound a little out of it. “Enjoy. I’ll just get—”
“Stay with me.”
Those three words stopped me in my tracks. Why? Because I’d been waiting for him to say them. Part of me had lingered, hoping for the invite. But the other part—the rational part—was getting really pissed. How could he think I was anything like his witch of a sister? Sure, we both played the publicity game, but she was a liar, plain and simple. I might focus attention where I wanted it, but I never outright lied. And I sure as hell never manufactured stories like she had tonight.
“It’s not a good idea, Connor. I don’t think I’m in the right frame of mind.”
He flicked on his bedside lamp, and I got to see him stretched out, naked on his bed. The sheet covered him from the waist down, including his raised knee, but his chest was golden in the soft light, his body on beautiful display. His face was relaxed and open, his gaze fuzzy, and his mouth curved into a smile.
“Stay with me, please. Just for a bit. We can talk about why you’re angry.”
I blinked. “How do you know I’m angry?”
He sighed. “You were dealing with Sophia’s fallout. You have to be angry.”
For a guy who’d maxed out on painkillers, he was damned sharp. I hesitated a moment. He needed his rest. But when would I have a better opportunity to hash this out with him?
I settled down on the bed beside him, facing all that glorious expanse of beautiful man, and wondered if I was about to destroy any chance of ever having a real relationship with him. But I couldn’t keep silent any longer. “How can you put the two of us in the same category?”
He frowned. “I don’t.” He picked up his phone from where it had been lying beside him on the bed. “I’ve been watching the feeds. She’s making me look—”
“Like a hero.”
He nodded. “And you’ve been trying to downplay it. Not exactly calling her a liar, but trying to keep things real.” He took my hand. “Thank you.”
“Why do you allow it? Why do you let her do this to you?” I leaned forward, determined to ask something that had been bothering me for a while. “How did she get those calendar pictures of you?”
“Stalking and Photoshop. She caught me on vacation for some. I didn’t even know she was there. Then later, she hid in my closet.” He arched a brow at me. “Do you honestly think I’d lie naked on a bed for her?”
“No.” But I’d been up close and personal with his body and knew that the photos weren’t far off. He absolutely looked that good.
“Do you really think she’s helping your career?”
He shrugged. “Hard to say. Do you?”
I didn’t want to answer, but the truth was pretty clear. “Yes, assuming this latest stunt doesn’t backfire. You were hurt by a kid at a birthday party for foster kids.”
“I didn’t save his life.”
I nodded. And the boy was nowhere near traffic. But nobody looked deeply into sports stories. “If she gets away with it, then yeah. She’s helping your career.”
“But it’s not how I want to be helped,” he said, his voice flat and cold.
“So why do you let her?”
“You know about Cassie.”
“Yeah, but Cassie isn’t the same vulnerable girl she was a few years ago. The woman I saw today was strong. Capable.”
“Really?” Hope rang clear in his voice.
“Yeah, really.” Though Cassie had been visibly shaken, she’d stood up to Sophia like a true champion. I was about to tell him that, to let him know how grown-up she’d been. But then he started talking about Sophia.
“Did I ever tell you about going to Disney World when I was a kid?”
“No. What happened?”
“It was close to the end with Mom. Dad had started drinking. Sophia did everything at home. Cooking, cleaning, everything. And in the middle of all of this, Cassie started talking about Disney World. One of her friends had gone, and she’d come back telling everyone it had been the most magical trip in the world. Cassie hung on to those words—the most magical place in the world.” He chuckled. “She was young enough then to believe in magic. It was as if she thought Mickey Mouse could make Mom well or something.”
“Oh God, that must have been awful.”
“It could have been, especially since Cassie was like a dog with a bone. She thought Disney World was the answer to all our prayers.”
“Could your family afford it?”
He snorted. “Not really. And even if we could have found the money, Dad could barely get himself to work and back. No way could he manage us on a vacation.”
“What happened?”
His lips curved into a smile. “Sophia got my coach to take us.”
“You’re kidding.”
“And not just us, but the whole baseball team. It was all Sophia’s doing. She talked to the parents, got a travel agent to do the work, and even managed fundraising. Everything.”
“Sophia got out and did car washes and things?” I couldn’t imagine it. She was too prissy to get her hands dirty.
“She washed cars, badgered people into giving bake sales. She made baseball cards for all of us and sold them to my teammates’ grandmothers and fond aunts for a crazy amount of money.” He pointed to his mirror where a baseball card with his eleven-year-old face on it was pressed into the frame. “That’s been with me since I was a kid. It made me believe I would have a real one someday. I looked at it all through college and the minors. It kept me going when I didn’t think I could.”
“That’s amazing, Connor. But that’s not about your sister. That was—”
“For a trip to Disney World for Cassie. We went on that trip. Mom and Dad didn’t go, but the three of us did, as well as half my baseball team plus their families. It was the best trip I’ve ever had. I hung out with my friends and Cassie fell in love with the Animal Kingdom. I think that’s where her interest in biology began. She started sparking in the sciences, and all of it was because of Sophia.”
I didn’t know what to say. In my mind, Sophia was a lying, manipulative bitch, but it was clear she’d also been a loving sister and had done a lot for her siblings. She’d been there when her parents couldn’t be. And I wanted to admire her for that. I just couldn’t reconcile that Sophia with the attention-starved witch I knew now. “What happened to make her change?”
“I think it was that trip,” Connor continued. “We had a great time. Everyone loved it. Everyone thanked her—me, Cassie, my teammates. But you know who didn’t say a word? You know who didn’t seem to notice at all?”
“Your mom was sick.”
“Yeah, she was. I can forgive her for that, but Dad never acknowledged all the work she’d done. He didn’t even thank her. She got nothing except, ‘Get me another beer.’” He exhaled. “I think that’s what broke her.”
Ouch. It sounded horrible to say, but I thought it was a good thing his dad was dead. Otherwise, I might be tempted to give him a piece of my mind. Sure, his wife had been dying, but he’d still had three kids. How could he totally abandon them like that?
“Sophia was everything to us, our entire lifeline. I should have called my uncle. I should have reached out to someone, but Dad was so against it. And we were doing okay. I had baseball, and I just didn’t see anything but that.”
He was a kid. It wasn’t on him to save them from disaster. That was his father’s job. But it was all water under the bridge now.
“I get that she helped you both, but you shouldn’t be held hostage to—”
“I’m not her hostage!” he snapped as he tried to sit up. He didn’t get far. He hissed in pain, clutched his thigh tight, and then eased back down on the bed. I went to grab his bottle of painkillers, but he waved me away. “Gia, listen to me. I’m not her hostage—I’m trying to help her. I’m giving her a lifeline now. What kind of brother would I be if I just cut her loose? The money is nothing to me. And it keeps her away from Cassie.”
I could see it now. I could see that he was still trying to support the sister who saved him, way back when. That whatever disaster she was now, he would help her, no matter the cost to him and his career. He was trying to give Sophia what she needed.
Except what she needed was a swift kick in the ass, not blind financial support.
But how did I say that to a man who was loving his sister the only way he knew how? Especially when he obviously had reasons to be grateful to her. He had loved her, and now wanted to share his good fortune with the sister who’d made it all possible.
I didn’t know how to answer, so when he tugged on my fingers, I went willingly. I lay down against his side and settled my head on his shoulder. I held him then, just as he was holding me. But the longer I stayed there, the more my silent voice of anger grew in volume. Eventually, I couldn’t keep quiet anymore.
“I get that you love her, and that you have reason to be grateful to her.”
“We wouldn’t have made it without her.”
“Well, you might have landed in foster care, like I did. Then again, that could have been a good thing.”
“We would have been split up.”
“Probably. But Connor, you’re not kids anymore. And you’re not helping her by letting her get away with this kind of bullshit.”
“You said she’s helping my career.”
“If she doesn’t get caught. That’s a big if.” Especially since Sophia was the kind to push her luck. One little lie now meant a bigger one tomorrow, and an even bigger one the day after that. Until somewhere, somehow, she’d get caught. And that would spell disaster for anyone attached to her. Someone like her very famous brother.
“What would you have me do?”
“Stop her.”
“How?”
I took a breath. “Cut her loose. Fire her. You’ve more than paid her back for what she did for you as a kid—”
He shook his head, obviously hoping I’d stop. Too bad.
“Connor, whatever need is driving her is only going to get worse. If your support was going to help her, she’d be better by now. She wouldn’t be spinning lies and creating drama outside of hospital ERs.”
I felt him wince. “She called the reporters?”
I’d verified that as soon as he’d left the ER. “Yes, she called them and promised them a great human interest story. Local hero saves—”
“Yeah, I got it.” He clearly understood what she’d done. “But how did she know about it in the first place?”
I sighed. “She’s got to have someone planted in the ball club. Any idea who that might be?”
“I think she pays one of the janitors to feed her information.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No.” He sighed. “This isn’t the first time she’s had news before anyone else. She likes to keep tabs on me.”
I pushed up from his side. “And you let her?”
He shrugged. “Why not? I don’t do anything. If she wants to waste her money that way, then let her.”
“Until now. Until she spun this story out of nothing.”
He groaned and pulled me back down. “Yeah. Until now.”
I stayed silent, feeling his arm around me. I pressed my palm to his chest, felt the steady movement of his breath, and heard the thump of his heartbeat. Quiet things, human things, that I enjoyed because they were part of the man I loved.
I took a breath and absorbed that thought.
I loved him. I loved Connor Hart.
That was the real problem I had with Sophia. Lots of people had conniving bitches in their lives. I still worked with them, laughed with them at parties, or even extended a sympathetic hand if they needed it.
The difference was that Connor had allowed his toxic sister to destroy our relationship. That he called me a liar when the reality was that he couldn’t face his own sister’s problem. He couldn’t find a way to fix her, so he doomed us. That was the issue. And if I didn’t force him to face it, we’d never make it.
I knew, too, that this was the best moment to talk to him about it. He might be on the Disabled List, but I wasn’t. My work was only going to get heavier in the coming days. So if we were going to have this discussion, it had to be now. It was the worst timing, but hell, I was also fast losing my nerve. I liked lying in his arms. I liked talking with him. And I liked all those other things we did in his bed, too. How easy it would be to just ignore my hurt. We’d go on having hot sex and nothing else…until it completely destroyed us. So I knew I had to say it.
“I love you,” I said.
He jolted, rising up in bed to stare at me, but I pressed him back down. I kept talking, though the words burned my throat.
“I love you, but I’m not going to be with you.”
“What?”
“Not if you keep thinking I’m just like your sister.”
“I know you’re not!”
“But you do. How many times have you implied that I’m a liar?”
“Gia—”
“Can’t you see that you’re letting your issues with your sister color how you see me? She and I are not the same.”
“I never said you were.”
I snorted. “Yes, you have. Maybe not in as many words, but you do see us as the same.” I pushed away from him and sat up. It was hard to leave the peace of his arms, but he had to hear me. “You’ve got some complicated emotional baggage going on with Sophia.”
“She was a good sister.”
“Yeah, she was. But she isn’t anymore.”
He squared his shoulders until he sat facing me. “I’m not going to abandon her. She’s my sister.”
“But you’re not helping her, Connor. You’re enabling her. And it’s destroying us.”
“You don’t know what she did for me. For us.”
I didn’t argue. There was no point. Sure, she’d helped them when they were kids, but whatever darkness was inside Sophia had hurt Cassie deeply. And it was eating away at Connor, too.
“She needs to face the consequences of her actions.”
He swallowed, and I could see that his eyes glittered in the lamplight. “Are you telling me I have to choose between you and my sister? You call that love?”
I swallowed. “Yeah, I do. You might think that you’ve got Sophia under control, but I’m here to tell you, she’s destroying my love for you.” I didn’t dare say “our love.” He hadn’t said anything about returning the feeling.
“You’re the one issuing the ultimatum.”
“Yet, how many times have you warned me that she’ll destroy my career? Just because we’re together.”
His eyes widened. “Has she tried anything?” He gripped my hand. “What has she done?”
“Nothing new. Just bad-talked me to Joe, tried to take credit for my work.” I arched a brow at him. “She doesn’t sound like a very nice person, does she?”
He ground his teeth together. “She’s my sister. That matters.”
“And she did a lot for you as a kid. But now, she’s hurting you and destroying us.”
“No, you are. You’re making me choose.”
We were talking in circles. He would not see how he was coddling Sophia, and how it was spilling over into the way he saw me. God, how could his love for his sister destroy our relationship? How could it end my feelings for him?
It couldn’t. Honestly, the fact that he tried so hard with Sophia tugged at my heart. But I couldn’t sit by and watch it destroy him. So I stood up, pulled my hand out of his, and backed away from his bed.
“It’s late,” I said. “We’re both tired.”
He looked up, his jaw hard, but when he spoke, his voice was laced with alarm. “We can’t leave it like this. Not… not after what you said.”
“That I love you?”
“Yes.”
I waited. He needed to say the words back to me. He needed to give me hope that he would fight as hard for me as he did for Sophia, but he remained stubbornly silent. And eventually, I lost hope.
“I need to get some sleep,” I said as I turned around.
“You’re the one making me choose.”
I hesitated, but I didn’t turn around. He was right. I was forcing him to pick. But maybe I’d been wrong about the timing. He’d wrecked his knee right before the pennant race. He was doped up on painkillers, and now, I’d just hurt him even more, all on a night when he needed comfort.
God, I sucked.
I turned back to him and said the only true compromise I could see. “You don’t have to decide tonight. I’ll still be around tomorrow, and the day after, and probably the day after that.”
His expression narrowed. “Probably?”
I shrugged. “I won’t wait forever. I love you, but I won’t climb into the Sophia prison with you.”
“You’re exaggerating. That’s just what you marketers do. You exaggerate and—”
“Lie?”
He buttoned his lip, and my heart broke at the sight. He wasn’t going to face this. Maybe he couldn’t. Childhood patterns went deep, and this was a doozy. So I gave up for the night.
“I’ll stop by tomorrow,” I promised. “Try to get some sleep.” Then I gathered my keys from the counter and went home, where I cried myself to sleep.