THE NEXT TWO DAYS IN Paris were as close to perfect as they could be. Crow and I got up early every morning and hit the streets. Then we’d get to the arena to play. Every night, he’d come to my room, and we’d fool around. He never spent the night in my room again, instead leaving to sleep in his own bed.

“Come on, you can stay,” I said when he tried to leave that night. “It’s not a huge deal.”

“It’s a huge deal to me,” he answered. “Go slow, remember?”

I sighed, and he kissed me. His kisses stole the words right out of me. I could hardly argue with his lips on mine. I hated it when he left, though. I craved the warmth of his body against mine and his arms around me. I guessed that time would come soon, but not nearly soon enough for me.

When he broke the kiss, I wanted to ask him again, hold on to him and force him to stay with me, but I hesitated. I didn’t want him to stay the night with me because I’d nagged at him or because I’d tricked him and or I’d worked it too hard. There’d be no fun in that. I wanted him to stay with me because he was so overcome with lust for me that he wouldn’t even consider anything else.

As much as I cared for him, I wondered if there was something wrong with our relationship that made it so easy for him to leave me after a few kisses. He said it wasn’t easy, that it took all his self-control, but he still did it.  Surely, a man overcome with love wouldn’t move so slowly. They’d want to explore every inch of my body. Their need would be so urgent that they couldn’t wait to rip my clothes off.

I didn’t want to be the one pushing everything in this relationship. As much as I believed in going for what you wanted, I needed some of that “going for it” coming from the other direction too. He could talk about going slow, but a glacier would move faster, and, meanwhile, my body ached for more.

Every time he left me, I almost wept with frustration. I was all fired up and ready to go, then nothing happened.

We never even advanced far past kissing. I didn’t need the full deal, just a bit more hand or mouth action. But he didn’t even want to go that far.

After he left, I closed the door behind him, then leaned against the door frame. Did he have any idea how much it tortured me every time he left? I’d lie awake for hours, wondering what I’d done wrong, if there was something missing in me.

This whole going-slow thing made sense in theory, but in practice, it always felt like a rejection.

The next morning, before I went to breakfast, I got a message. It was the girl I’d thought was Crow’s sister. I hadn’t heard from her after the first message, so I’d been worried I’d said the wrong thing.

Jeez, she was in Paris. She’d jumped on a plane after my message.

Can you arrange for us to meet? she asked.

My heart did about a hundred weird things when I read that. It pounded when I thought that Crow and his sister might be reunited after all this time, but at the same time it sunk in that I’d have to tell Crow I’d contacted his sister. Surely, though, the main thing would be getting them together. He clearly had a lot of trauma about their relationship, and now she wanted to make things up. Of course he’d want to see her. He’d be so happy.

Wow, I’d done well.

She’d arrived this morning and was staying at a hotel not too far away. She planned to stay a few days.

I replied, telling her I’d do what I could.

I met Crow in the breakfast room. The secret bubbled inside me, wanting to spill out, but I couldn’t tell him at a table full of people. He’d hate that. I was sure he’d have a lot of emotion to process about it.

Instead, I ate my eggs and bacon with a grin.

“What’s up with you, Firecracker?” Elijah said. “You’re grinning like crazy. You and Crow finally sealed the deal?”

“Urgh, don’t be so nosy,” I told him.

I wished we’d sealed the deal. Elijah mentioning it like that just rubbed it in. It was normal that we’d be screwing by now. We’d be unable to leave each other alone, and we definitely wouldn’t be coming down here for breakfast. Some mornings, Rose and Elijah barely made it to breakfast.

After we’d finished eating, I arranged to meet Crow in the lobby. We had no time to lose. Sightseeing awaited us. I grabbed my stuff and rushed back down.

“Another beautiful day in Paris,” I said.

He grabbed my hand, and we started walking. I would never get sick of this, no matter how often we did it.

We’d reached a little park. I had to tell him about his sister, and I didn’t want to put it off any longer. Fear and happiness fought within me. Surely, he’d be pleased. He had to be. His sister was family, and no one wanted to be estranged from their family. I wasn’t even sure where to start. Crow valued his privacy, valued it a lot. But he would want to see his sister.

When we got to a little bridge, I stopped.

“What’s up?” he asked. “Do you want me to take some photos of you?”

“I did something. I hope you don’t mind,” I said. I leaned against the railing, looking into the water. Two people floated by in a little boat beneath us.

He moved to lean on the railing beside me.

“I did some research. And, well, I found someone. I didn’t mean to interfere, but I’ve found your sister. She wants to meet with you. She’s in Paris now, and—”

Crow scared me. The way his face changed. I flinched away from him. Had I done the wrong thing? But, no...

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.

“But you want to see her. Surely, after all this time...”

Crow didn’t answer. He didn’t give me time to explain.

“I’m sorry,” I said. I looked up at him, expecting some gentleness to settle on his face.

He shook his head and walked away.

Huh? I understood he was angry, but he was just walking?

“Crow, wait!” I called.

He didn’t even break his stride. He had to turn around, I thought. We were together, and everything was perfect. It couldn’t be destroyed that quickly.

“Crow! I’m sorry. Come back. Listen to me.”

None of my cries reached him.

My heart said to run after him, but my feet wouldn’t move. That look he’d given me would haunt me forever. If I chased him, he’d push me away. I knew that, and I couldn’t stand to have him treat me like that.

I’d wanted to bring light and happiness to his life, but maybe I’d just dug up things that were better left buried. I’d ruined things. I thought I’d done the right thing, but the way he’d looked at me had erased any doubt.

My heart clenched, heavy with fear. Surely, he’d turn around. He wouldn’t just walk away from me. But Crow wasn’t the kind of man who toyed with that kind of thing. As much as I hoped, I knew that if he walked away, he’d keep on walking.

I stood on the bridge watching as he moved into the distance.