Chapter 7
I’m not a wham-bam-let’s-go-out-to-dinner, ma’am.
Oh my God! I slept with Noah Winston. Sun seeped in through the sides of my window shades. He wasn’t in bed. Maybe he left. I lifted the sheet to confirm that I was, in fact, naked, and didn’t dream the entire thing. Not that it would have been the first time that particular erotic dream had infiltrated my brain while I slept. But there wasn’t any doubt that each sensation I felt did indeed happen. The man didn’t lie; my acting skills did not need to be put to the test to fake any part of last night. I swear he knew my body better than I did. The soft pillow engulfed my face as I sunk further into it, trying to figure out my next move.
Coffee. That’s what I needed, and what I smelled. Was he in the kitchen? I hurried into the bathroom to see a rat’s nest rather than hair. Shit. Shit. Shit. Just like when I was a kid, I sprayed leave-in conditioner in my hair and did my best to get out the tangles. Hurriedly, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and threw on sweats and a T-shirt. I supposed I looked somewhat presentable.
Noah stood in my kitchen in just jeans and bare feet. God, even his feet were attractive, and I hated feet. Did he get pedicures? “Good morning.” He smiled at me and handed me a cup of coffee. “I wasn’t sure how you took it, and I didn’t want to rummage through your cabinets looking for sugar.”
“Good morning.” I poured a splash of creamer in and sat down at the table.
Before he joined me, he kissed me on the top of my head. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, I did, actually.”
“Orgasms will do that to you.” He winked. “Especially real ones from real wands.”
Why bother denying it? Even an Academy Award winning actress couldn’t have pulled off my performance. It was explosive, and he knew it.
“Apparently.” I needed to change the subject. It was too early to be talking about this. “Are you hungry?”
“No, I need to go. I missed my morning run, so I need to hit the gym, and then take a nap so I’m well-rested for tonight.”
My heart sunk a bit. Did he have a date? Before I could stop myself, I asked, “What’s tonight?”
“We’re going out, remember?”
Relief flooded me. Although thankful, I didn’t want to seem easy. Yeah, it’s a little late to be coy when you’ve already had sex with him. But true to form, I needed to play hard to get. “I don’t recall saying yes.”
Noah smirked. “I don’t recall you saying no.”
The man definitely knew what he wanted, and I fell into that category. Oddly, that made me happy. Some clarification needed to be made in regard to what happened between us. Being with a man like Noah could be exhilarating, as well as terrifying. It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, because clearly, I wasn’t. What I was afraid of was reliving my youth. Dreaming of him was one thing, but finally having and losing him is in a completely different ballpark.
Even though Noah liked to be in charge and take control, this one was on me. He was way too nonchalant about what had happened between us. Unlike him, I wasn’t used to casual sex. Of course, I’ve had it, but it was a one-and-done, not a wham-bam-let’s-go-out-to-dinner, ma’am.
“If I go, can we talk about us?” I nibbled on my bottom lip before taking a sip of my steamy morning beverage.
“We can talk about us right now.” He crossed his arms, challenging me.
“What about your workout?” In a rush, my nerves fluttered. I wanted answers, but fear started to creep in. It was too early to get into this, but the look on his face told me he wanted to discuss it now.
“The gym isn’t going anywhere, and there’s something about you that I enjoy.” I quirked a brow, and he sported a megawatt smile that made my pulse quicken. “Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed last night, and I think you’re fun to hang out with.”
“You do? That sounds so odd, coming from you.”
“Why is that odd? I told you before, I want to date you.” He took my hands in his as he waited for my response.
Fine. He wanted an answer; I’d give it to him. Before I could talk myself out of it, I said, “Because you were once the one for me, the one I’d drop everything for, and you never gave me the time of day. I was your friend’s awkward little sister. For years I wanted you, dreamt of you, but then I grew up. Then last night happened.”
“Like I said, I enjoyed last night.” His gravely morning voice did nothing to tamp down the flutters that consumed me. Every winged creature took flight inside of my body. He enjoyed last night. How did I counter that comment? It happened to be most spectacular sexual experience I ever had and all he said was he enjoyed it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he did, but the romantic side of me wanted a little more. All I knew was he had a good time, liked hanging out, and wanted to date me. Holy shit . . . he wanted to date me.
He made small circles on my palm with his middle finger. The same finger that ignited my skin last night. He dragged it up my leg, starting at my ankle, until he reached the top of my thigh. Then ever so gently, he slid my panties down, so I was bare and ready.
“Your pussy is beautiful.” I felt my insides coil. “I’m going to enjoy you tonight, Margo, and you’re going to remember each and every one of the orgasms I give you.” At his words, molten desire oozed through my body like hot fudge melting on my favorite ice cream. But when I came around his finger, then his tongue, and finally, his magnificent cock, every fantasy I had of him had been put to shame. This man, who I once placed on a pedestal, proved to me he belonged there. Never did I ever imagine a man could make me feel that way even once, and he gave me a hat trick.
But this was Noah Winston. Even shoving all the past behind us, he was Mr. Page Six. I’d be naïve to think one woman would be enough for him. Plus, did I even want that? Did I want to take a chance with my heart? No, I didn’t. I paused for a moment to consider what ramifications my next statement could have. I bit the bullet. “I’ve read about you and know you’re in high demand by many women, but I’m not one of them.” He stared at me, and then let out a quick chuckle. “What I mean is, what happened last night shouldn’t have happened, no matter how stellar your bedroom talents are.”
“Ha! I knew it was stellar.”
I smacked his rock-hard bicep. “Of course that’s what you would hear, out of everything in that statement.”
“Margo, I know this is strange, it is for me, too. But I also know the past is just that, the past. I’m sorry that I hurt you, and in my defense, I didn’t even know that I had. Back then you were just a kid. It wasn’t that I didn’t think you were cute, and let’s keep in mind—you were also off limits. Do you know what Adam would have done to me if I took you to your prom?”
I shrugged. “I guess we’ll never know.”
He guffawed. “I’ll tell you. He would have kicked my ass.” I nodded, even though I didn’t agree with him. I could have talked to my brother and made him understand.
Just thinking about that day pained me. In my head, I pictured the soft blue prom dress I wanted and never wore, my hair twisted in a sophisticated style, and the most gorgeous man on my arm. I’d watched enough movies to know what proms were like. He’d slide flowers on my wrist, and I’d pin one to the lapel of his tux. Then, he’d take me in his arms, and we’d dance. Our bodies wouldn’t leave room for anything to come between us. The music would be slow; we’d stare into each other’s eyes. Afterwards, when he took me home, he’d kiss me. So many times, I’d press my lips on the back of my hand to simulate what it would be like. He’d be my first real kiss.
There was no way I would survive that amount of hurt again. “Look, let’s forget about all of that, and just call last night what it was . . . fun. I can offer you friendship, but that’s it.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m not. I’m dead serious.” I swear I heard my vagina let out a little cry. She’d miss him, too, but at least we had carnal knowledge of how a man should make us feel.
Noah just looked at me. His eyes softened a bit as he took in everything I said. He whispered, “If that’s all you want, then okay.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s all I can give you right now. I won’t call last night a mistake, but I also don’t think it should happen again.”
He stood and pulled me up until we were toe to toe. With one finger, he lifted my chin, and when our eyes met, I couldn’t help but close mine. “Open your eyes for me. I want you to look at me when I say this.”
Ever so slowly, my lids rose. “Okay.”
“I like you.”
I like you, too. God, did I ever. The teenager inside of me wanted to jump up and down in pure excitement. Noah liked me. We liked each other. What was happening?
“Never having sex with you again is out of the question. I won’t push for that right now, but I want to be with you. We aren’t kids anymore; we don’t need to follow rules. If we end up having sex again, then we will. If you want to just be friends, then that’s what we’ll be, but I’m not accepting that determination yet. To sum it all up, we’ll date, be friendly, and if the occasion arises where we find ourselves naked, then we’ll just have great sex, shake hands, and call it a night.”
I swallowed so hard even I heard it. “Friends don’t date.” I tamped down the urge to laugh.
“Okay, Miss Labeler, it won’t be a date. We’ll just hang out and get to know each other, as you put it when I asked you the first time. But, we will be together; that much I can promise you.”
As much as I wanted to, I wasn’t sure it was the best thing for me.
Noah smirked as if he could read my mind, as if he could see the ping-pong match occurring between my brain and my heart. “Think about it. I’m going to go now.”
“Okay.”
He leaned toward me, and in a slow, thoughtful move, brought his lips to mine. It wasn’t like last night’s kisses. This one was tender—no tongue—and for some reason it had the same effect on me. “See you later. I still would like to take you to dinner tonight. It’s a nice place, and I have reservations. I’m friends with Geoffrey; he’s the owner and Executive Chef. Trust me, you’ll like it.” I opened my mouth to say something, but he put his hand up to stop me. “Before you get all crazy on me, I’ve dined there with several friends, so I’m staying within the parameters you set up for us.”
“Fine, I’ll go.”
An all-knowing, I knew she would go smile appeared. “Great, I’ll pick you up tonight.”
The door opened just as his hand went for the knob. Haley walked in and looked at both of us. “Hi, Noah. Leaving so soon?”
“Looks that way. Catch you later.”
Haley closed the door behind her. “Damn, girl, second date and you put out already?”
“Shut it.” I poured her a cup of coffee.
“Margo, he’s so cute. And I don’t just mean his looks, because cute isn’t the word I’d use to describe them. But the way he was last night at the bar—so relaxed and seemed so normal. Not uppity or conceited in the least.”
Noah was normal. You wouldn’t think so, with everything he had going on, but he hadn’t deviated from how he was years ago. “Well, when he came over, my face was covered in cream and I had just painted my toes, so wads of cotton were shoved between them. I looked like a fool.”
Haley started laughing. “Payback is a bitch, isn’t it?” She raised her mug to me before taking a sip. “But, his entire face lit up when I told him you were home alone.”
A crease formed between my eyes. “It did?”
She nodded. “Yup. It was weird though, because when I told him I’d be out all night, I expected him to look all-macho or say something crass, but he didn’t. He just gave me that panty-wetting smile of his and winked. Have you ever seen him wink?” Haley let out a sigh, and I stared at my best friend in disbelief. “What?”
“What? Do you hear yourself?” I got up to grab the muffins that were on the counter to bring them to the table.
“I hear myself loud and clear. What I don’t hear is what happened last night. Come on, tell me something.”
I deflected. “Where the hell did you sleep?” Her eyes looked off into the distance in a dream-like state. Very un-Haley like. Actually, I’d only seen that look once before. “No, you weren’t . . . were you?”
She smiled brightly and her head nodded like a bobblehead on steroids. “Yes, I was with Seth.”
Seth and Haley lived together a couple of years ago. I had met Haley at a library when she vacationed in Paris. She tried to ask the librarian for a book, but instead she asked her if she ever had sex in the bathroom. I started laughing, and the librarian looked appalled, so I stepped in and translated. We have been friends ever since and decided when I moved back to the states, I’d move in with her.
While I lived in Paris, her boyfriend contacted me via Skype. One time, he even called me to get my opinion on engagement rings. And then before I knew it, Haley called me, hysterical, because they had broken up.
“Care to explain how that happened? I mean, if you’re happy, then I’m happy, but are you?” God, I sounded like a horrible friend, but I also remember how destroyed she had been. If I had the extra money, I would have flown back to the States and nut-punched him for hurting her.
She shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. “Last night,” she paused, “right before I saw Noah, Seth sent me a text telling me he wanted to talk.”
“A text led to you two spending the night together? I don’t understand.”
“To be honest, I didn’t necessarily want to talk to him; I wanted to tell him off. But, we did talk, and he explained a few things.” A blush crept up her cheeks. “He still loves me.”
Love. A four-letter word that almost killed me last night. “Do you still love him?”
“Did I ever stop?” Haley practically melted in her chair. “Seth is everything I have ever wanted in a man, and he got scared. The thought of forever freaked him out.”
“And now?”
“Now, we’re going to try again. We’re not going to get engaged right away, but . . .” She started gnawing on the side of her thumb. Shit. That action meant she was nervous about something. When I didn’t say anything, she continued, “We’re going to live together.”
My heart sunk. “Here? He’s moving in here?” Oh my God, did I need to move out? I didn’t want to live with Seth. Shit. I can’t afford a place on my own, not even this one.
She shook her head. “No, I’m moving in with him.”
Warmth ran up my spine and settled at the base of my neck. “You’re moving out? When?” In an instant, my fingertips started massaging my temples.
Haley placed her hand on my arm. “Don’t stress out. It’s on a trial basis. I’m still going to pay my half of the rent here.”
Even though I felt relieved, I was confused. “So, you’re going to pay rent here but live there?”
She nodded. “I love him, but I’m not ready to fully commit to him. My heart won’t recover if he shreds it again.”
A shredded heart. That’s what I was afraid of happening to my own. “I understand, but I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, but I’ll always be here for you.” She pushed her coffee aside, grabbed my hand, and dragged me to the sofa. “Okay, enough about me. Dish. I want details. Tell me about the infamous Noah Winston.”
It took me a moment to gather a coherent thought and attempt to articulate my feelings. They didn’t make sense to me, so I was going to sound like a hodgepodge of confusion. If there was one person who could decipher my thoughts, it would be Haley. She was also the one who could see right through me.
“It started very innocently. We watched When Harry Met Sally.”
Haley sighed. “I love that movie.”
“I know, me, too. Apparently, he does as well. We started talking about a couple of things, one being the concept of men and women being friends without sex, and he said it wasn’t possible.”
“It’s not.” She shrugged and I glared at her.
“Personally, I think they can be, but he proved me wrong . . . three times.”
She furrowed her brows. “What was the other thing?”
I deadpanned, “Orgasms.”
Haley started squirming and tucked her legs under her. “Now, you’ve got my full and undivided attention. Do tell.”
I shook my head at my friend. “I said, all women fake it, and he said, not with him.” I bit my lower lip in a failed attempt to camouflage a smile. “Let’s just say, he’s a talented man.”
“No way, you’re not going to leave me hanging. Tell me more! I need more.”
We both laughed, but I twisted my fingers in front of my lips, as if I turned the key to lock them. “You have your fun with Seth and I’ll have memories of last night.”
Her smile faltered. “Why memories?” She narrowed her eyes. “What did you do? Did you have morning-after panic?”
“Maybe.”
“Do you hear yourself? You’re dating one of the hottest and richest men in New York.” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t give me that look. I know you. I get that you’re friends, but you’re now friends who give each other orgasms. I swear, if you’re having thoughts about what happened all those years ago, don’t. You can’t deprive yourself of what you’ve always wanted because your teenage heart was broken. Don’t you understand that the boy you always wanted is now the man who wants you? How does that not make you want to sing and dance through Central Park?”
“It scares me, Haley. We’re going out to dinner tonight, and it freaks me out.”
“Why? Is it one of those funky restaurants that serves exotic animals?”
My nose crinkled in disgust. “God, no. Well, at least I hope not. We’re going to Geoffrey’s. But that’s not the point.”
“Ooh, that’s a really nice place. Great reviews in The Post. Do you want my opinion?”
“If I say no, will you keep it to yourself?”
“Of course not.” We both smiled. “He wants to spend time with you, so let him. That doesn’t mean he needs to control what happens; you’re in the driver’s seat. Grab hold of that stick shift and let him know you’re in charge. If you want to take it slow, then do that, but remember, this is Noah Winston. He might give you a run for your money. I’m not saying you can’t handle him, but a man like that, especially when determined, could be a force to be reckoned with.”
“He’s hardheaded.”
Haley let out a loud, “Ha,” followed with, “and you’re not?”
“Yes, but . . .”
“No buts. Pull up your big girl panties and have some fun. You deserve it.”
“It’s not funny, and I refuse to let it happen again.”
“I’ll bet you a month’s supply of Ben and Jerry’s that he’ll be back in your pants in a week.”
I thrust my hand out. “Deal.”
When I walked back into my bedroom, I couldn’t help but grin. My bed sheets were rumpled from the night before. I flopped down on them, running my hands to the side where he was. They smelled like him, and I couldn’t stop my lips from curving upward. That’s the thing about Noah—deep down, he made me happy. Even if we didn’t have sex last night, just being with him and watching the movie was fun. I needed to get out of my own brain. Haley was right; I needed to take control.
Still, Noah could be as addicting as shopping. Just picturing Noah at the gym, his skin glistening with sweat as he worked out, made my body come alive. I shook my head. Controlling our relationship would be easy, but controlling my heart . . . not so much. In other words, I was screwed.