Tucker: Wanna ride together to Joe’s party?

This is the probably the tenth time I’ve read Tucker’s text in the last half hour. It still says the same thing, and I still don’t know how to respond.

I want to tell him yes. I want to let my guard down again, shake off my desire to please everyone, especially my parents. I can do that around Tucker in a way I can’t around anyone else, not even Rae.

I also know that I shouldn’t tell him yes simply based on how good it makes me feel to be around him, how normal and natural it all feels.

“Yes” definitely shouldn’t be an option, because I’ve only talked with Tanner three times since last Sunday. Two of the three times was by text. It hasn’t entirely been my fault, because Tanner has been busy this week, but I also haven’t gone out of my way to talk with him when, as his girlfriend, I should. But I don’t.

When we have talked, it’s been stilted. On both ends.

Rather than trying to fix it, we continue our usual push and pull. Because that’s the type of people we are.

I’m tired of being that person. I need to start taking more chances. I need to continue to step out of my “safe bubble” I’ve created over the years, carefully walking that line between who everyone else wants me to be and who I am. I need to start saying yes.

And I know just the place to start.

Me: Yes.

Tucker texts back immediately.

Tucker: 1:30 good?

Me: Yes.

Tucker: Do you know any other words?

Before I can respond, another text comes through.

Tucker: Let me guess…yes?

Someone catches on quick.

Me: Yes.

Tucker: Wow. Laughter is pouring out of me.

Me: YES!!

Tucker: ….

Me: Yes?

Tucker: ARE WE DONE YET?

You know how sometimes you text someone ‘LOL’ but don’t in fact LOL? Well, I really did LOL, but I don’t want him to know that. So I go with the best possible answer.

Me: Yes.

Me: Sorry, had to one last time.

Me: See you at 1:30 still?

Tucker: Yes.

Me: I see what you did there…

I set my phone aside and realize that my face hurts. Why in the hell does my face hurt? And then I catch on to what it’s from—smiling so much. Because that’s all I’ve been doing since I texted Tucker back. Five minutes ago.

Jumping out of bed with an extra spring in my step, I head to my closet to get dressed for the birthday party.

I pull out my yellow maxi skirt, white v-neck top, and white crochet Toms. After showering and spending all of five minutes making my hair appear to have “beach waves,” I throw on my outfit and apply a light layer of make-up.

By the time I’m done, I have five minutes to spare. I head into the living room the find Kassi falling asleep eating a bowl of cereal on the couch. She’s been working for the past four days, only getting a few hours of sleep before having to head back. The beauty of being an ER nurse, I guess.

I carefully pull the spoon and bowl out of her hands, setting it on the table while I gently push her down to a sleeping position. As I’m laying a blanket over her, I hear a soft, “Thank you. Love you, kiddo.”

This woman means the world to me. She gives so much of herself to everyone at that hospital but always has a small bit left over to give to me when she comes home exhausted out of her mind.

“I love you more, Aunt Kass.”

As I pick up the cereal to take it into the kitchen, a soft knock sounds at the door.

“Come in,” Kassi says sleepily.

Chuckling, I head to the front door to meet Tucker.

I’m shocked again at the smile that’s plastered on my face when I open the door. A smile that slips when I take in the sight of him, because I realize then how handsome he is in the most effortless way.

“Hey,” he says, giving me a lopsided grin.

“Hey,” I say back.

“Is that for me?” he jokingly asks, motioning to the cereal.

Entering the world of sarcasm, I hand him the bowl with a straight face and say, “Yes. It’s the only thing I know how to cook. My way of saying thanks for the ride.”

Tucker’s eyebrows shoot up instantly, and the most confused look I’ve ever seen crosses his face. “Um, thanks?”

“No problem. Anything for a friend. Let me grab Joey’s present and we’ll be on our way.”

I quickly spin around and walk into the kitchen, doing everything in my power to hold in my laughter so that Tucker doesn’t hear me. Because really, who in the hell would accept a soggy bowl of cereal like that?

Grabbing Joey’s gift, I make my way to Tucker, who is still standing at the front door and staring down at the bowl of cereal I handed him. Laughter threatens to bubble up again, but I manage to squish it down.

“Ready?”

Tucker snaps his head up. “Um,” he starts, glancing back down at the bowl and then back up at me. “Yeah?”

“Why is that a question? Let’s go before we’re late,” I tell him as seriously as I can. As I walk past him, I finally give in to the grin that’s been threatening.

Tucker brushes past me, opening my door. I get in wordlessly, refusing to look at him, because I know I’ll lose it if I do since he’s still carrying the cereal. He rounds the car, only hesitating briefly before getting in and placing the bowl in his lap.

We ride in silence most of the way there.

“You know, I uh, I used to see you a lot at Perk,” he says randomly as we pass the coffee shop.

What? “Yeah?”

He gives a stiff nod. “Yep. It was last year around this time, the spring, I assume before class. Anyway, you’d go there each morning and order the same thing.” He smiles softly to himself. “You were hard not to watch.”

My blood starts pounding in my ears, making it difficult to hear anything around me. My breathing speeds up, causing Tucker to glance over at me.

“You never once noticed me, huh?”

I shake my head in the negative and swallow the lump in my throat, trying to get myself under control. “No. And I’m disappointed by that,” I admit.

“Me too,” I barely hear him say.

“Why didn’t you ever approach me?”

His lips twitch just barely. “You seemed off limits, even then.”

The rest of the ride is silent after his confession. I’m not sure what it means, but I am sure that I love that he noticed me.

It also makes me wonder how different things would possibly be if Tucker were the Bentley brother I had gotten with. Would I be happier? Would I be me? I hate to admit it, but I think the answer would be yes. Because as it stands, Tucker already makes me all those things and more. And we’re just friends.

Shoving away my thoughts, I try to relax as Tuck parks the car. I can feel him look over at me. I return his gaze, and he glances down at the bowl and then back up at me, waiting for me to say something to him about it.

I don’t.

Grabbing Joey’s gift, I push open the door, and quickly close it, leaving Tucker—who is still trying to figure out what to do—inside.

I’m facing the house, attempting to calm my sudden nerves, when I feel him come stand beside me. And like that, they fade away. His other hand comes to rest on my lower back as he gently presses me forward, giving me the courage I didn’t know I needed.

“Hey,” Rae says as she opens the door, wearing the beautiful dress she bought the other day. Her accessory? A scowl. “Come on in.”

We follow her inside to Hudson’s kitchen. It’s small, cozy, and definitely lived in. I’m kind of in love with it because it’s the exact opposite of the kitchen I had growing up. That was strictly off limits, cold, and always empty.

“Rae?”

“Hmm?” she says, whirling around to face us.

“You good?”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Nope. Your friend—” she points to Tucker “—is an ass.”

“I don’t doubt that he can be, but what did he do this time?”

Rae clenches her tiny fists and does this bizarre inhale thing that makes her nostrils flare. She looks ridiculous, not scary.

With a straight, serious face, she says, “He ate my fucking brownies.”

Immediately, Tucker and I burst into laughter. He ate her brownies? That’s why she’s so upset and sad? Only Rae.

“Don’t laugh, you assholes! He ate them all before I could get one! One! I’m so pissed!” she seethes.

That makes us laugh harder.

“Rae, chill. They’re brownies,” I tell her once my laughter subsides.

“No, I won’t ‘chill’! Brownies are my most favorite thing ever, and he ate them! Ate. Them.”

Tucker continues to laugh his way over to the sliding glass door, motioning for Hudson, who comes through the door about ten seconds later.

“Hey. Why in the hell are you holding a bowl of cereal?” Hudson says off the bat.

Tucker flicks his gaze to me. Smirking at him, I think it all finally clicks. He gets now that I’ve been waiting to see how long he’d hold on to it for. The answer? Way too long. “No idea, man,” he tells Hudson, handing him the bowl.

Hudson peers down at the bowl and back at Tucker, the same look of confusion that Tucker had earlier now covering his face. Those poor bastards.

Depositing the bowl into the nearby sink, Hudson turns to his girlfriend, who happens to be throwing sharp eye-daggers his way.

“What.” It’s not a question that comes out of her mouth. It’s more like she’s daring him to say something.

Hudson—the brave man that he is—rolls his eyes and turns back to Tucker.

“Joe’s outside with Gaige and Perry. Wanna go see what the heathens are up to?”

“You mean you left Joey out there to babysit those fools? That’s brave,” Tucker says.

Rae growls—like, legit fucking growls—at Hudson as he leaves the kitchen. He doesn’t bat an eyelash at her behavior. Guess he’s getting used to it. Good. Rae needs someone capable of handling her crazy.

“Come on. Let’s go supervise,” I say to Rae.

“Fine,” she huffs. “But I’m not talking to him.”

* * *

“Uncle Tucker, watch this!” I hear Joey yell.

I’ve spent almost the majority of the party watching Tucker play Adventure Time with the kids, who are all dressed up as different characters from the show. Most people would think that a little girl would dress as the princess, but not Joey. She’s dressed as Finn, and it fits her personality effortlessly.

Every moment spent watching Tucker, I am in awe of his patience with them all. Then he peeks over at me and flashes a smile that’s full of love and adoration of Joey. I give him one back before I realize that I shouldn’t be smiling at him like that, but the love he shows his best friend’s daughter and the fact that he’d do anything for her only makes him more attractive, so I can’t help it.

More?

I need to scrub my head of these thoughts because I should not be having them. But they keep coming.

Fuck.

“Okay, everyone, time for presents!” Rae hollers, finally giving me something else to focus on.

The kids come running, and we all sit around as Joey “oohs” and “aahs” over her gifts. When she’s opened all the ones from her friends, in true Joey fashion, she gets up and heads over to where Tucker, Gaige, and I are sitting. She knows we have stuff for her.

“Have you been good?” Gaige asks his usual question for her. Joey nods, smiling brightly. “Well, that’s boring. But here you go anyway.”

Gaige hands her a box, helping her lower it to the ground since it’s too heavy for her alone. Joey begins ripping away the paper, concentrating hard on getting her gift out.

“No way,” I hear. “NO WAY! Uncle G, you’re the best! Thank you! I love you!” She launches herself into his arms and hugs him tightly.

“Hey!” Tucker says teasingly.

Gaige shoots him a grin over her shoulder. “Sorry, dude, but I got her the complete hardback set of Harry Potter. I win.”

“It is technically a double gift for me and Joey. He may have you beat,” Hudson says.

I know that if there weren’t kids around, Tuck would so flip Hudson the middle finger. But he refrains.

“All right, Joe,” I say. “Here’s my gift.”

I hand her my small bag, and she immediately lets go of Gaige and starts pulling the paper out. Her tiny face lights up when she sees the box inside.

“Wow! This is awesome!” she exclaims, opening it.

I beam at the smile that’s gracing her face. She stares downs at the antique gold necklace I got her. It’s shaped like a leaf and has a small ladybug on it. Next to it dangles a round pendant with a ‘J’ engraved on it for her name.

I guess it’s something that started many years ago—her obsession with ladybugs, that is. She collects any and everything with them on it and even gets called “bug” by just about everyone. It’s neat to see a kid so into different things.

“Can you put it on me?”

“Of course! Get over here, munchkin,” I tell her happily.

Once I’ve clasped the chain around her neck, she spins around to give me a hug. I glance up to find Tucker staring at me. The look in his eyes makes me pause.

He seems peaceful. I can’t help but think back to the other night when he told me about what he did for Joey and Hudson. What he gave up and his devotion to them is so inspiring. It also makes me sad because I feel like he’s given up on finding that spark for himself. But I’m going to do everything I can to help him find it.

Tucker’s eyes shift to Joey as she pulls away, and they light up brighter than normal.

“You ready for my gift, bug?” he asks her.

She darts over to him and holds her small hands out. Before placing his gift in them, Tucker grabs hold of them and stares her directly in her eyes.

“Now, you know I always bring you a new ladybug, right? And you put them all on your bug shelf?” Joey nods, her raven-colored hair bouncing. “Well, this time I got you something that you get to keep on you at all times.”

Joey is trying to contain her excitement, but I can practically feel her vibrating over here. It’s so precious.

Dropping a hand, Tucker leans back and retrieves a small black box from his pocket with a name on it that means so much more than her eight-year-old mind can grasp. Then he leans forward and whispers in her ear. I watch as she nods several times. Before she sees the gift, she wraps her arms around him. He returns the hug and squeezes his eyes shut tight.

“I love you, Uncle Tuck,” Joey says softly, and Tucker hugs her tighter.

“I think my heart just stopped,” I hear Rae say quietly.

Mine too.

“Join the club,” Hudson responds, swiping at his cheeks.

Rae must say something next to him, because his head whips around and he scoffs at her.

When Joey finally opens the box, her squeal is loud and rightfully so. Because inside that velvet black box sits the most beautiful pair of gold ladybug earrings I have ever seen.

Joey jumps up and down and shouts, “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Eeeek! I love them!”

“Yeah? Good thing. Don’t lose them, okay?”

“Scout’s honor!” Joey says.

Tucker laughs lightly. “Were you even a Scout?”

And Joey, not knowing exactly what that means, leans forward and whispers, “I’ve been one my whole life, Uncle Tuck.”

All the adults—and I use that term loosely—laugh, and it causes the kids to giggle along, which is adorable since they have no clue what they are laughing over.

“Sure do got a cute kid, Hudson. Can’t say the same for you,” Rae says.

“Okay, lady. What is your deal today?” Hudson asks loudly.

Rae crosses her arms over her chest and huffs, “You. You’re my deal.”

“And what exactly did I do?”

She narrows her eyes and points an accusing finger at him. “You know.”

I look to Tucker, Gaige, and Perry to make sure I’m not the only one trying hard to hold in my laughter. I’m not.

I realize then how much I miss Haley, who is missing from the group. Guess she and Rae haven’t finished patching things up yet. Last I heard they had started talking, but they still aren’t as close as they used to be. Not since she found out Haley was keeping a massive secret from her regarding their mother. Rae’s angry, and I don’t blame her one bit for that.

I glance up in time to catch Hudson rolling his eyes at her for the second time today.

“You know, I was gonna ask your crazy ass to move in with me today, but now I’m not so sure.”

Rae freezes up. “You want me to live with you? A brownie stealer? Not in this lifetime!”

“That’s what this is about?” Hudson slaps his hand over his mouth and tries hard not to laugh at Rae, who is now shaking her head at him. He snickers and says, “I’ll go make you more if it gets you to stop being mad at me.”

“Now?” she asks.

Hudson nods. “Yep. Right now. But you have to promise to stop acting nutty.”

Rae considers this and offers a compromise. “If I say yes, can I still move in?”

He pretends to think about it, but we all know he’d do anything for her. “I guess. But only if I get half the pan of brownies.”

“Deal,” she agrees immediately, doing a little happy dance and launching herself into Hudson’s waiting arms.

Gaige pipes up, “Yeah, not sure what I just witnessed there.”

“Rae’s moving in!” Hudson yells, spinning my tiny friend in circles.

“And I’m getting brownies!” she adds.

Everyone but Perry laughs. He sits there with a stunned expression on his face and mutters, “Weirdest. Couple. Ever.”

Joey turns around and looks at Perry. “You mean: Best. Birthday. Ever.”

Heart, meet floor.