Things could’ve been awkward after Cai and I had sex again, this time knowing who the other person was. But it, strangely, wasn’t. I woke up and he was in the shower, but when he came out, he smiled and said he’d call room service for breakfast while I showered.

And food was indeed waiting. A lot of it.

Now, I was in clean, if wrinkled, clothing, eating my third helping of waffles, while Cai sat across the table, working on his own breakfast. Neither one of us had said much of anything yet, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. More like we understood each other on a level that didn’t exist with anyone else.

I wasn’t entirely sure how I was supposed to feel about that.

“Why May?”

I looked up, confused by the question. “What?”

“At the club that night, you said to call you May. Why that name?”

I shrugged, feeling a blush creeping up my cheeks. “It’s my middle name.”

He laughed. “And here I’d been trying to figure out if it was your favorite month or if you were a Spiderman fan.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Aunt May. I never would’ve pegged you as a comic book nerd.”

He shrugged. “They were an easy escape for me.”

I wanted to pursue that train of thought, but I had a feeling it might be a little too serious for the moment. I didn’t want him thinking that I felt like I had some right to know personal details about him because we’d slept together.

I went with a question that I’d been thinking about for a while, and that I felt was a little more pertinent to our new level of intimacy.

“How did you get into BDSM?”

He was quiet for a moment, but I didn’t get the impression that he was angry, just thinking.

“I’ve always been a bit of a…control freak. I never did the relationship thing, but even in casual hook-ups, I wanted to be in charge. When I first moved to Atlanta, a woman I’d met took me to the club where you and I first had sex. I felt like I’d found a place where things finally made sense in an area of my life that hadn’t before. I understood the rules, the way things worked. It offered order whenever I needed it.”

I nodded as he spoke, his words explaining the way I’d been feeling since that night at the club. I wasn’t a submissive person by nature, but I found the idea of exerting control over someone else exhausting. I’d spent most of my life having to be the parent, the adult. Even if I hadn’t been taking care of other people, I had to take care of myself. With Cai, I’d let him take care of me, let him take charge.

And it had been…freeing.

“I do wonder though,” he said, “how much of what we are is formed by our experiences when we are young.”

I leaned closer. “What do you mean?”

“Do you ever look at your siblings and see all the ways you’re different and all the ways you’re the same?”

“Sometimes. Mostly how we’re different.”

He smiled. “Me too. I’ve always thought that the four of us boys couldn’t have been any more different. Growing up, that’s what everyone said all the time. How none of us were alike. We had nothing in common.”

I understood that.

“Until recently.”

“Your grandfather,” I murmured.

He nodded. “That too. But we’d always known that loving him was the only thing we had in common since the accident. When I went back to Boston, I already had in my head that this would be it. That I’d likely never see my brothers again until another funeral. Maybe a wedding.”

“What changed?” I asked.

“Before I flew home, the four of us had a conversation that revealed there was one other thing we had in common. BDSM.”

I made a face. “Wasn’t it weird, talking to your brothers about stuff like that?”

He shrugged. “It’s not like we talked about our favorite positions or anything like that. Just the…idea of it.”

“I think I’d rather go back to that shed without a suit than talk to my siblings about sex,” I said. “Just the thought of it…” I shuddered.

Cai stood and carried his plate back over to the food service cart. “I’m still waiting for a call about the company plane. Do you want to go do something today? It’s beautiful outside.”

“Outside might be nice,” I said. “Is there something you’d like to see?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve never been to this part of Texas before. My brother lives in El Paso, but I’ve never been there either.”

From the way his shoulders suddenly tightened, I knew he hadn’t meant to say that last bit.

“Did you tell him you were nearby?” I already knew the answer but asked it anyway.

“I love my brothers, Addison, but one fifteen-minute talk about our mutual interest in particular sexual preferences didn’t make us close. We went our own ways a long time ago.”

I stood and crossed over to where he was, his back still to me. “I know it’s not my place, but they’re your family. You don’t have to let your grandfather’s death break you apart more than you are. You can let it be a second chance.”

He made a derisive sound. “You sound like my grandfather. He wanted us to make amends. Made it part of his will, in fact. If we want our inheritance, we must reconcile. And his lawyer is going to be the judge of whether or not we’ve done that.”

I told myself that it wasn’t my place to put a judgement on his family, but I couldn’t help but wonder how tough things must have been if his grandfather had felt the need to take such drastic measures. “Your brother that lives nearby, how do you get along with him? Compared to your other brothers, I mean.”

“Slade’s pretty easy to get along with,” he said. “He just never takes anything but work seriously.”

I took a chance and put my hand on his arm. “I think we’ve had enough seriousness since we’ve been here. Something, a little lighter sounds like it might be worth a shot.”

He didn’t answer, but I knew he was thinking about it. He might not have been aware of it, but I’d heard it in his voice. He didn’t want things with his brothers to stay the way they were. He wanted to make things right, and I was going to help him do just that.