I keep seeing that last look he gave me, even a few days after I left him.

It was searching, pleading, and confused. It wasn’t the face of a man that was happy to see me leave, which only makes me feel more confused. I want him to want me, of course, since he’s so handsome and we had such a good night that night, but I also don’t want to force him into a relationship that he doesn’t want to be in. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean he has to marry me or something old fashioned like that.

Even so, before all this happened, there’s still that night we had. The way we talked, flirted, fucked, it all felt so good and so natural. I can’t deny it, even if I wanted to. He made me feel things that night I never knew I could feel, and for a while I really reveled in the glow he left.

Now of course, I’m pregnant and things are more complicated. Still, I wish we could go back to that night and have something like that again.

I can’t get him out of my mind, so I decide to find out a little bit about the father of my baby. At lunch the day after I tell Elias, I sit down with Taylor outside in the courtyard.

She stretches her legs and sighs. Taylor’s taller than me with long blonde hair and pretty dark eyelashes. She’s tan and always smiling and I have no clue what she’s doing working in the mayor’s office instead of modeling somewhere.

“Been a weird few days,” she says to me, sighing. “So many reporters.”

“It’d be nice if the mayor could keep himself out of trouble,” I say.

She shrugs a little. “It’s the way he is. Doesn’t make him a bad mayor.”

I nod a little, although I don’t agree. Instead, I decide to do a little digging. “Is his whole family like that?”

She glances at me, eyebrows raised, a little smile on her lips. “I thought we weren’t going to talk about that.”

I stare at her. “What are you talking about?”

“The mayor’s son.” She laughs a little bit. “You thought nobody noticed?”

I take a sharp breath. Of course everyone knows already. I’m the only idiot in this town that didn’t recognize him right away. All my coworkers saw me talking with Elias and flirting with him at the bar, and I can only imagine what they’re thinking.

I’m suddenly embarrassed, like a freaking idiot. I should’ve been embarrassed much sooner, but I was too stupid to even notice right away.

“Are people talking?” I ask her.

She shrugs. “Not really. I mean, at first they were, but they stopped once the mayor got caught at that strip club. Nobody’s really sure if you’re involved or if you guys are just friends, so I think you’re safe for now.” She hesitates a second. “But I wouldn’t let them get further.”

I groan. “I don’t even want to know what they were saying.”

“No, you don’t, but it’s okay.” She grins at me. “Did you end up going home with him?”

“No,” I say, and it’s not a lie. It’s not the whole truth, of course, but I’m not about to tell her that I slept with him on the roof of that building.

“Marnie says she saw you leave with him.”

“Marnie can suck it,” I say, and Taylor laughs.

“Yeah, she can. She’s terrible, but I thought I’d ask, since we’re talking about it now.”

I sigh a little. “I’m so dumb for not knowing who he was.”

“Yeah, a little bit, but it’s okay. I don’t hold it against you.”

“What’s he like, anyway?” I ask her. “Is he like his father?”

She shrugs a little. “People don’t talk about him much, but I haven’t heard anything bad. I mean, he supposedly gets around and all that, but otherwise…” She shrugs again.

“He seemed really down to earth. Not at all like the mayor.”

“Just because they’re related doesn’t mean he’s going to be exactly like his father.”

I nod a little and take a breath. “Yeah. Okay. Good point.”

“Why?” She gives me a sly grin. “Are you trying to see him again?”

I glare at her. “No, definitely not.”

“Okay, sure,” she says, laughing to herself, genuinely delighted. I’d be more annoyed if she weren’t seeing right through me. “I think you’re in love with the mayor’s son.”

I glare at her and she laughs. I quickly change the subject, but the thought of Elias keeps lingering in my mind.

I know I told him that he’d never see me again… and he won’t. I won’t bother him if he doesn’t want to see me. But I do want to know him a little bit, at least to know where my baby comes from.

Although I don’t know why. I don’t plan on keeping my baby. I’m going to give him or her up for adoption… I’m definitely sure of that…

I try not to go down that path.

A few days pass. I think that Elias is going to fade from my mind eventually, but he doesn’t. Instead, he festers and grows and all I want to do is talk about him, but I can’t.

It all comes to a head one afternoon at lunch, just a few days after talking to Taylor. I’m getting my things together when my phone vibrates, and I stare at the message and the number.

It’s from him, from Elias. I stare at it like it’s some kind of joke for a second before unlocking my phone.

“You hungry? I’m outside.”

I type back to him. “Outside where?”

He answers right away. “In the parking lot of city hall. Hurry, don’t want to get recognized.”

“Are you some kind of celebrity?”

“Some kind.”

I smile to myself, heart beating fast. I quickly grab my things, but Taylor stops me before I can head out.

“Ditching me?” she asks, head cocked.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” I say quickly. “It’s him. I mean, here to take me to lunch.”

Her eyes go a bit wide. “Really?”

“Really. I gotta run.”

“Okay.” She laughs, shaking her head. “Have fun, I guess.”

I smile and hurry past her, down the stairs and out into the parking lot. I’m so excited I almost miss him, his bike parked in the very back corner. He’s smiling as I approach, and it hits me all over again how handsome he is.

He casually stands up. His bike is leaning against him, a simple chrome and steel thing, beautiful in its simplicity.

“I didn’t expect to see you,” I say stupidly.

He laughs. “Why not?”

“I mean, after the last time we talked,” I say, trailing off.

“Don’t worry about that,” he says.

“Easy for you to say.”

He cringes. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

I smile. “I know. Sorry.”

“Come on. You want to go for a ride?”

I laugh at him. “Is that your line or something? It sounded so rehearsed.”

He grins at me. “It works every time, you know.”

“When you pick up pregnant ladies?”

“Only the pretty ones.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, you got me. Where are we going?”

“Just somewhere nearby.” He tosses me a helmet he has sitting on the back of his bike. “Put that on and let’s go.”

He climbs onto the bike and I follow his lead. I slide the helmet on over my head and straddle behind him, gripping onto his waist. He pulls my hands tighter, backs out of the spot, and we pull out into traffic.

It’s exhilarating, although scary at first. I keep thinking we’ll fall over, but eventually I get the hang of it. We only ride for a few minutes before we pull off the main streets and start taking little alleyways. We end up parking in a damp alley in some neighborhood I don’t even recognize.

We climb off the bike and he takes the helmet from me. I almost don’t want to give it back, because it smells like him, warm and bold.

“This is your idea of a romantic lunch?” I ask him.

He grins at me. “Who said I’m trying to be romantic?” He laughs at the look on my face and takes my hand. “Come on.”

We walk to a little boring-looking door. He knocks twice and it opens. A skinny dark-skinned man with dark eyebrows looks out at us.

“Luis,” Elias said. “Thanks for doing this.”

“Anything for you, man,” he says. “Come on. Boss is busy right now, so you got time.”

“Good shit.” I notice Elias slip Luis some money, although I can’t see how much. Luis leads us into a kitchen, and I realize that we’re going into the back of a really nice high-end restaurant.

I follow Elias out into the main room. He takes a quick left and we sit down at the table right outside the kitchen. Luis pokes his head out and nods before heading back into the kitchen.

I stare at Elias before laughing. “What is this?”

“Just a little favor Luis owes me,” he says.

“You know, for a guy that doesn’t love being the son of the mayor, you sure act like the son of the mayor.”

He laughs at that, and I feel a little relieved. I was worried he might be insulted.

“I guess I take after my father in some ways,” he says. “We both like people.”

“How do you know Luis?”

“Did some work on his bike and did it for cheap.”

“That was nice of you.”

“Nah,” he says, grinning. “Always do a cook a favor. It always pays off.”

I laugh at him and find myself leaning forward as he talks, looking into his eyes. He asks me about how the office has been lately, although he doesn’t outright talk about his father. I tell him about my coworkers, Marnie in particular. Luis comes out not long later with three plates, one for each of us, and another for the table. The center plate has a caprese salad on it, which is startlingly good, and we each get a smaller portion of cacio e pepe.

“Enjoy,” Luis says before leaving.

I take a bite and my eyes go wide. “Holy crap,” I say, mouth still full. “This is amazing.”

Elias laughs. “I know, right? Like I said, always do a cook a favor.”

We both eat mostly in silence. I don’t have anything to say right now, except to talk about how good this pasta is. It’s so simple and yet so complex. I have no clue how Luis did it, but I’m totally blown away. I don’t mean to, but I end up eating the whole plate.

Elias smiles at me over his water. “I’m glad you liked it,” he says.

I let out a sigh. “I’m going to be really unproductive for the rest of the day,” I admit to him.

“That’s okay. I doubt Buddy will notice.”

I grin a little. “He’s not even in the office today.”

He sighs. “Of course not.”

I laugh, and there are a bunch of stories I could tell him about the mayor, but I get the feeling that they won’t come off as funny. Most people love my hilarious Buddy stories, but I suspect his son will see the tragedy in them instead of the comedy.

“I’m glad you came with me today,” he says, leaning back in his seat. “I got the feeling you didn’t want to see me again after last time.”

I shake my head quickly. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything, you know?”

“I know,” he says softly, and suddenly leans forward again. “But what if I want to?”

My heart jumps in my chest. “What do you mean?”

“What if I want to do something, Alexa?”

I bite my lip and have to look away. I can’t keep looking into those beautiful eyes, or else I’ll say something totally stupid and ruin this moment.

“I can’t tell you what to do,” I say softly.

“My whole life, I’ve watched my father fuck up,” he says to me. “Fucked up with my mother, fucked up with this town, and fucked up with me. One shit thing after the next, and you know what? That’s the only father I’ve ever known.”

I take a breath and slowly let it out before meeting his gaze again. It’s pained but intense, not ashamed, not breaking away.

“I won’t do that,” he continues. “I’m not going to fuck up, you understand me? That baby’s mine, and I’m going to be here for you no matter what. I’m not going to be a father like my own father.”

“You don’t have to say that.” My voice is practically a whisper, but my heart’s beating so fast. I don’t even know if I want to keep this baby. I’ve been so sure that I want to give it up for adoption, but now… with his eyes on mine…

“I know I don’t, but I want to. I’m not going anywhere, Alexa. You’re not getting rid of me.”

I take a breath and let it out. “I’m still giving the baby up for adoption.”

He nods slowly. “We’ll see.”

I give him a sharper look. “I am.”

He just smiles but doesn’t say anything.

I look away, both angry and excited. I want him to tell me that it’s totally my choice, but I like that he’s here, standing up for what he thinks is right. He’s the father of this baby, even if he didn’t mean to be. And now he’s doing what’s right. I respect him for it… and I want more of him.

Luis comes out, breaking the moment. We gush over the meal, and Elias tries to slip him more money, but he refuses it. Luis cleans off the table and we stand up, heading out back through the kitchen after thanking Luis profusely.

“Ready to go back?” he asks me.

I groan. “Not at all.”

“Too bad. Get on.” He tosses me the helmet with a big smile.

I slip it over my head, smelling him all over again, as I climb onto the back of the bike. I’m more confident this time, and I actually let myself start to enjoy the ride.

I don’t know what I’m doing, falling into this. He’s the son of the mayor, my boss, and he’s trouble. He doesn’t want to be like his father, but he’s still a stranger, and he still owes me nothing. If I were smart, I’d keep my distance, and get through this pregnancy the best I can. Then I can give the baby up for adoption and keep living my life. I can’t afford to get bogged down with this man. I can’t afford any mistakes.

And yet, as I watch him ride off after dropping me in front of city hall, I know I already made a mistake. I slept with him, got pregnant by him, and now I got onto the back of his bike and let him take me out to lunch. I stared at him, thought about his body against mine, his lips on mine. I keep making mistake after mistake and it keeps on feeling good. It keeps feeling so fucking good.

I don’t know why these mistakes make me smile. That’s probably why they’re so dangerous. I need to control myself, or else I’ll end up falling deeper into this than I ever expected or wanted.

As Elias drives off, I can’t help but notice something. Two big, black SUVs pull out behind him, almost like they were waiting for him. I frown for a second, since it’s pretty weird, but I just shake my head. City hall is always pretty busy, it’s probably just a coincidence.

I head back inside, hoping nobody saw who just dropped me off, since I don’t need any more rumors flying around about me and the mayor’s bad boy son.