The next day, he made no acknowledgment of the night before or my temperamental car. So I took the plunge, gathered my courage and did it for him.

“Thank you again for your help last night,” I said when I brought him his morning cup of coffee. Hot for once, with a sprinkling of cocoa on top.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied but didn’t look up from his computer screen. “Any meetings today?”

“No clients. Just the usual meeting at eleven with Mr. Lawrence,” I told him, partially deflated.

“Perfect, thanks,” he said, and with a dismissive wave of his hand, I was forced to retreat from this office.

Apparently speaking further wasn’t on the table, but I did feel like I noticed a small change in his demeanor. If he had any issue with his morning cup of coffee, he kept it quiet, for once.

All day I felt I was being watched, but maybe it was just my imagination. Even though I tried to stop it, I couldn’t help but feel that same pull behind my belly button that I’d felt in high school—with him at his desk and me at mine. The same nervous excitement crept up my legs and made it hard to think.

I tried to remind myself that just because he successfully started my car didn’t erase the weeks of rude comments and overt hostility. He treated me worse than anyone else in the office. With Tiff, he bordered on friendly, but with me, I was rarely extended a kind word. All my attempts at smiles and getting him to warm up a bit were met with glowers. And yet, despite all that I felt drawn to him. Like he was a magnet I couldn’t help but be pulled back to him over and over again. And perhaps it had started to work because day by day things began to get better.

The gruffness and hostility faded from his words, though his face remained as hard and unreadable as ever. He never let much on, but it was hard to believe I was making the tension between us up. Often, I’d catch him looking at me—he’d stare just a second too long when he’d exit his office on his way to a meeting. Maybe he’d remembered me after all, I thought with hope creeping into my heart.

I’d stare at him too, or I search for him across the office; wondering if he’d be the next person to appear around the corner. My eyes would stop on the way his shirt would catch on the tight muscles of his arm. The way his intense eyes would stare into mine when I brought him his morning coffee. I’d watch him run his hands through his often-disheveled hair when he was stressed; when he was angry. I’d sneak a peek at him while he paced in his office with a small amount of nervous excitement. The way a gazelle would watch a pacing lion, the only difference was I had realized I wanted to be attacked. Desperately.

I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I he wanted it too. The tension was becoming almost palpable. His mouth would form a coy smile when he’d catch me looking at him. Something had shifted, like in that moment where he looked like he was about to speak, he’d said more than words ever could.

My old high school crush returned with a vengeance. Perhaps it had never disappeared, I considered. Just been there beneath the surface ready and waiting to be reignited.

I started to spend more time getting ready in the mornings. At the bookshop, I’d roll out of bed at the last possible minute. I’d pull into work with my hair wet and toast crumbs still dusting my cheeks. Now, I was an early riser. I curled my hair and put on lipstick. I fished the tight-fitting skirts out of the back of the closet. Even Liv remarked on my new look, and I had to wonder if I was trying too hard. Just waiting and tempting fate to break my heart all over again.

“Damn, Sis. You look hot,” she said. I winked at her. “You seem happier too,” she continued encouragingly.

“Do I?”

Liv nodded.

I pondered her statement and realized it was true. My new mission had lessened the pain of the holiday. I was starting to feel like myself again if that was even possible.

At work, Tommy was characteristically mysterious, but it didn’t bother me as much as it had before. Mainly because I felt like a tiny bit of progress had been made, and the ice in his eyes had started to thaw. It was a week before Christmas and Tiff found me at my desk.

“Hey, would you mind grabbing lunch for everyone today? I’m not feeling super well. Going to head home early I think. Mr. Carver had the notepad with the orders last. He’s in a meeting so just grab it off his desk. Oh! And before I forget,” she started rummaging through her purse. “Here’s your person for Secret Santa!”

She handed me a green envelope covered in hand drawn snowflakes. Her face was pale and clammy, but her excitement over the holiday tradition shone through. I’d forgotten all about Secret Santa. I cursed myself for signing up for it. I’d already spent my first paycheck in my mind, and I hadn’t even received it yet. I still didn’t know where I was going to get the money for Liv’s present let alone a stranger at work.

“Thanks,” I said. “Hope you feel better soon!”

I finished my filing a bit before noon and went to the door for Mr. Carver’s office. I knew he wasn’t inside, but I knocked anyway.

His desk was littered with papers, pens, and notes. I searched fruitlessly for the lunch list when, finally, from beneath a stack of proposals, I saw the corner of something that looked like a list of names. I pulled it out from beneath the pile but what I found wasn’t a lunch list at all.

My hand went to my mouth in shock. The notepaper was crammed full with the names of women from the office.

At the top it said “The Naughty List,” and then most of the female employee’s names were written next to their alleged crimes and punishments.

The Naughty List

Tiffany Ericksen:

Crime: Skirt too short

Santa’s Punishment: Three hard spankings and a stocking filled to the brim with coal.

Kelly Anderson:

Crime: Made Mrs. Claus jealous

Santa’s Punishment: Have Kelly fondle my chestnuts to give Mrs. Claus a real reason to be jealous.

Sylvia Winters:

Crime: Not enough Christmas spirit

Santa’s Punishment: Get her to show Santa her big baubles, and give her a good stuffing.

The list went on with more names, each detailing their small crimes and the corresponding punishments. Incredulously I was both appalled and excited. Mr. Thomas Carver, who managed to make a convincing impression of Jack Frost, had a dirty mind! Maybe there was some warmth, and dare I say it heat, within him after all.

I searched with giddy anticipation for my name, eager to see what sort of treatment I could expect. After scanning it once and reading it more thoroughly a second time, one thing became glaringly apparent.

There were only thirteen names on the list and not one of them was mine. Maria in billing had an unflattering mole obscuring part of her right cheek. Sylvia one of the other interns, had a crooked tooth. Rebecca who was head of HR had a lazy eye (ok, not really, but she might as well have), but regardless all their names had made the damn list.

They were all wonderful women who’d been nothing but kind to me since I’d started, but that, however, didn’t lessen the ache that clutched at my heart. Once again I was relegated to being a shadow when I was around him.

These were all the women in the office he wanted to sleep with, and I was reduced to being the invisible girl who did nothing more than occupy the desk next near to him.

I was beyond anger. All these years and Tommy still didn’t notice me. And the secret tension I thought we’d shared was baseless—I’d foolishly let my imagination run wild.

I was no one to him.

A bitter laugh echoed around his empty office, surprising even myself as I thought about wanting to add his name to that list.

Thomas Carver

Crime: Being a cold-ass, womanizing prick.

Under punishment, I’d write: “Run him over with a sleigh.”

I was stunned and embarrassed at myself. There I was thinking I was mere moments away from a steamy office affair, and, in reality, he didn’t even think I deserved a spanking. Fine, I thought, trying to bolster my confidence back up. His fucking loss.

I was standing there, fuming, when the office door swung open. I hid the list behind my back.

Tommy stood in the doorway, his imposing frame dark against the pale glass.

“Hey,” he said, somewhat breathless. “What are you doing in here?”

For a second I considered showing him the list and confronting him. Letting loose every single bit of emotion I’d bottled up. Tearing into him with a fierce anger.

But what if he switched the tables and turned his anger back on me? Accused me of snooping? What if he fired me?

Regardless of the perceived flirtation, I still felt on uneven footing with the job, with him… with everything. I now had my eye set on a present for Liv’s Christmas (feeling fairly certain my mother wouldn’t be up to the task). Our neighbor was selling his old Volvo and promised to hang on to it until I could get the rest of the money together (so far I’d only been able to come up with half). With the mortgage and other bills, I knew such a gift was irresponsible. But she needed her own way to get out and be independent, and I wanted her to feel like a proper teenager for once. She deserved to be excited and worry-free. It wasn’t a luxurious car by any means, but it would be just the distraction she needed.

Tommy gave me a quizzical look waiting for my response, perhaps expecting the coy smile and provocative posture I’d been dangling in front of him the last few days to manifest. Instead, my eyes burned at him with unconcealed contempt. I hated him. I hated that I couldn’t throw the list in his face and stage a dramatic exit. Hated that I needed this job and the humiliating reminder that I was nothing and no one to him.

I’d thought things had changed. Damn my foolish heart!

I sighed. To be fair, he hadn’t ever lied to me about his character. He had been a jerk from day one, and he was still a jerk. How was I dumb enough to believe something was happening between us? But, selfishly, I mostly hated him for not noticing me, for not wanting me back.

I kept the list hidden behind my back.

“I came to get the lunch orders,” I finally said and stepped away from his desk.

“Oh.” He seemed thrown off and a little flustered. “I have it here; I took it with me by mistake.”

He advanced towards me, and I caught my breath. He glanced at his desk and then at me, and for a second I thought he saw right through me. His eyes narrowed as if trying to decide whether or not to confront me. But the moment passed, and he handed over the lunch orders. I took the notepad from him. This time the list of names didn’t say anything about spankings, though there was mention of a cranberry stuffing. I had to stifle a giggle.

“What’s so funny?” he questioned.

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

He glared at me again. “You’re very peculiar, you know?”

“Er… thanks?” I replied completely stumped. “I better get these orders in before it’s too late.” I motioned to move past him, but he put a halting hand up.

“Before you do,” he paused and took a step closer. “Next Friday, the 23rd, I have the Halloway Christmas Party.”

I nodded. I’d already made up his schedule and had seen the party. In fact, I remembered it in particular because I was shocked to see the event on his books.

The Halloway Christmas party was a famous event. Well, at least it was for our small county. The local news tabloids ran stories on it every year. Celebrities and well-known millionaires from the state all attended this quaint and partially famous charity fundraiser. It was an elaborate event for such a small town, and I was surprised to learn Tommy had made the invite list, especially so young.

“Do you need me to arrange a car?” I asked. I cut my words short. My white-knuckled hand curled around the list still hidden behind my back.

“No, no, my usual driver will be on hand for the evening. I need you to be my plus-one.”

“To the Halloway Christmas Party?” I replied, a surprised squeak in my voice.

“Yes.”

“But… I”

“Don’t think about saying no,” he said with a teasing lilt. “It’s part of your job.”

He flashed a grin; it looked foreign on his usually serious face. The smile melted years off his mature features. The fresh stubble on his cheek darkened where the skin dimpled. I could tell smiling wasn’t something he did often. I wondered if he was trying to be charming rather than his usual self, and the effect made me feel off balance.

I twisted my lips. I hadn’t expected anything like this. I was so angry with him still. But how often do you get a chance to attend a party with stars and millionaires? Part of me was shocked too, I hadn’t made his Naughty List, but he wanted me to go with him to one of the most prestigious events of the year? No strike that he was demanding that I go. I had no choice according to him.

“What if I do say no?” I said, standing my ground.

He blinked, taken aback. It was nice that he was off-kilter for a bit.

“I believe I already have plans…”

“Shae… Miss Reynolds, I am your boss, and you will do as I say.” His features darkened and there was barely breathing space between us anymore.

He was so close that I thought he could hear the thudding of my heart, he was apparently trying to intimidate me, but I didn’t want to let him win and stood my ground.

“I’ll ask you again,” I whispered, “what will you do to me if I say no? Will you put me on your naughty list?”

His gray eyes widened. “What?” They were blazing. I couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or lust.

Finally realizing what I’d said to him, I could feel my cheeks starting to burn. What on earth had I been thinking? Why had I let him get to me like that? Never mind the Halloway party, I wouldn’t even be invited to the staff Christmas party at this rate because in a couple of seconds I’d be flung out the door!

But just when I thought those fateful words that I was fired were going to come, Tommy took a huge step back and marched around to the head of his desk. I gulped in deep breaths but couldn’t manage to make my legs to move.

“We’re done here,” Tommy said from behind me. “If you still want a job, then you will attend the Halloway party as my date. It’s non-negotiable.” His tone had a finality about it, and my shoulders sagged.

No doubt he needed someone to help him organize his evening, be his lackey. I’d spend the whole night working. But like he’d said, I had no choice, no really if I wanted to keep my well-paying job. I had to go.

Right there and then in his office, I decided I’d stay working for him until after the party. A bitter and mischievous thought ran through my mind. There was no reason to quit when there was a chance I could meet my Christmas Prince at the party, or failing that a millionaire bachelor. I’d show him! Once at the party I could make my own connections, and let him see exactly what he was missing out on.

Besides, if worst came to worst, I had the list. For the first time in history, I felt like I had some semblance of power tucked away in my back pocket. I had power over him. One visit to HR and he’d be in a lot of trouble. That sort of thing could get a person into a lot of trouble, but it was better to think that I was staying by choice rather than financial obligation.

“Well, Miss Reynolds?”

“Fine.” I nodded. “Don’t expect me to like it though.”

He chuckled. “Don’t be so sure of that.”

I bristled and had to restrain myself. “Whatever. I’m going to go get lunch,” I said, raising the notebook, wanting nothing more than to use it to slap him with. I began to make my exit when he stopped me.

“Wait!”

My stomach dropped, and I thought perhaps Tommy had realized I’d taken the other list and was about to admonish me.

Instead, he pulled his car keys out of his pocket and chucked them to me from across the room. I scrambled to catch them but managed.

“Use mine. It’s cold out there, and we can’t risk your car not starting and getting in the way of lunch. I’m hungry. Be quick.” He smiled a devilish smile.

Oh, I hated him. Now he was insulting my car? I thought of saying something but couldn’t find the words. I just wanted to scream at him. I resorted instead to glare at him with a deathly stare and left. Maybe he’d find a slug in his lunch salad.