The Talk

“Are you okay?” Mindy asked for the hundredth time.

“Stop asking if I’m okay.” I was getting annoyed with her questions. I know what I had been through was a lot, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled under my breath.

I looked down at my phone and there were no new messages from Nate. I unblocked him after I activated the new phone but I only got one text from him earlier today while I was at work. He was probably thinking about me while he was working from home.

Hey, Lilypad. -Nate

I really regretted blocking him before. I wanted to know what he said before but it was too late now.

I grabbed my phone and pretended it was Nate’s strong hand. I missed him so much. I looked over at Mindy who was flipping through the TV channels. I don’t know what I could have done without her.

“Any new texts?” Mindy asked.

“No.” I wrapped a blanket around me.

“So, I still don’t understand why you won’t go to him?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumbled.

“I’ve been here for five days and you still don’t want to talk about it?” She sighed. “Just go see him.”

“He’s not going to want to see me.” I started to tear up.

Mindy turned off the TV.

“You finally want to talk?” She used her serious voice. “What level of honesty do you want?”

“10.” I sighed.

“10? You sure. That is full blown truth serum.”

We both chuckled.

“Yeah. I don’t want to be lied to.”

I wanted someone to be honest with me even if it hurt. I needed to know if I was making a huge mistake. Or if I did the right thing.

“Well, first off- I understand why you are mad at Nate and what he did to get you the job. But since when did you believe in luck and signs and all that crap.”

I started to laugh as a tear rolled down my eye.

“I mean you basically live off that quote your dad said with ‘Make it happen if you can’t find a way’ or something like that.”

“If you can’t find a way. Make a way.” I corrected her.

She rolled her eyes as she let out a snort. “That one. One thing I know about you is that you aren’t really into being patient and letting things fall into place. You’re a go-getter.”

“I know. But it was easier this time to pretend that- that maybe if I magically got this job then maybe me and Nate would- you know.” I took a deep breath. “But he lied to me to get in my pants. He lied and used me.”

“The way I see it is. You got a job. Your dream job and your stepbrother, Nate was the one that got you it. Why are you punishing him instead of praising him?”

“Because he did something wrong!” I yelled. I was still not over what he did. I wasn’t as mad as I was when I found out, but he did lie.

“In plus, that whole faith thing was bullshit. You would have fallen apart at his feet sooner or later. You were a Level 7.”

“10,” I mumbled.

She started to crack up. “10? You got to a 10. WOAH. Yeah. You were NOT going to last. Even if you didn’t get the second interview.”

I didn't say anything.

“There’s another problem isn’t there?” Mindy read my mind.

“Yeah.” I hesitated to tell her cause I knew what she was going to say. “Holly.”

“Holly the Bad Molly!” Mindy shrieked.

Mindy designated my mom the Bad Molly after she first met her my junior year. I don’t know how I felt about her comparing my mom to a bad drug trip.

My mom always came off as chill and nice, but then when something doesn’t go as she had planned, she will try to manipulate the situation.

Mindy was getting fired up just thinking about her. “She was here. To Chicago. When did she come to visit-?” She gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She aimed her fired up fury my way.

“Because you were going to react this way.”

“How could I not? She’s the only reason we didn’t dorm together your senior year, remember? I am a ‘bad influence.’” Her imitation of my mother’s voice was uncanny.

“Well, you were.” I chuckled.

She laughed along with me.

“TRUE! But you didn’t care until she told you.” She giggled and took a deep breath. “So, what happened?”

“Nate invited my mom and Mickey over and one of the nights we went to a Mexican restaurant. She saw Nate and me…. Getting close and then she freaked out. She was telling me- demanding that I move out.”

I sighed.

“She has a way to get to you. A way to get under your skin, twist your thoughts and make you think like she does, but you have to stop. I know you’ve trying to please her and make her happy ever since your dad died. But it’s your life. Not hers.” Mindy told me.

“But it made me realize that we’re RELATED! It would have NEVER worked out.”

Mindy rolled her eyes. “You’re not related. He was basically a stranger when you met him. You can’t even call him a relative, let alone your brother. He avoided you because he didn’t accept the fact that he had a sister or he didn’t even care. You don’t even know his middle name!”

I chuckled. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I don’t know. I was trying to make a point that you don’t know him enough to be confused about being related.” She laughed with me. “It was a bad point.”

“I don’t even know if he has a middle name,” I confessed.

We both laughed.

Our laughter started to dim down.

“To be honest. I’m more confused than mad.”

Mindy got serious again. “I think it might be time to see him. At least talk to him. You can’t be confused forever.”

I shook my head. “I hurt him too much. He probably doesn’t want to see me.”

I also didn’t know what I wanted anymore. And if I saw him. I didn’t think I can handle it.

“It’s time to make yourself happy.” Mindy started to preach. “Forget about his “betrayal” and praise him. Forget about making your judgmental mother happy. And forget about this ‘he probably doesn’t want to see me’ bull crap.”

What if I go back and I get rejected. What if he doesn’t forgive me for calling him the biggest regret of my life. I mean I just left him. As soon as it got tough between us.

I left.

I didn’t even try to talk to him. I let my emotions take over and I ruined something good.

Mindy grunted and rolled her eyes. I can tell she was sick of my hesitation. “Well, I did my job. But it’s up to you now.”

She got off the couch frustrated by my silence.

“Do what you want. But I think you’re making a huge mistake.” She flapped her hand at me and left me sitting there to wallow in my fear and confusion.