Over the next few weeks, several of Nathan's friends and clients came over to the house. Word was getting out that he hadn't only remarried but had taken a much younger bride. I imagined I was the subject of many conversations around town, and there was probably a lot of wild speculation going on, but I did not mind. I was eager to meet his friends and to get to know them.

Unfortunately, Mother was also often present during these gatherings. When Tom Nolan, Nathan's financial planner, stopped by, she was the one to bring him and his wife, Beth, into the parlor. I trailed behind, feeling out of place.

How could I jump into this conversation? Just say “Hey. I’m Darby, Nathan’s wife.” That sounded so awkward.

Mother greeted Tom right away. “Nathan is on a call right now. Perhaps he will join the three of us in a few minutes. In the meanwhile, let’s have a seat and chat.”

I noticed her choice of words excluded me from the conversation, and I searched for a way to join in without looking obvious. I thought back to the beginning of my morning with my husband, and had an idea.

Nathan and I had begun eating breakfast in our bedroom, a cozy little ritual where he would read articles of interest from the New York Times aloud to me, and discuss the day-to-day operations of his company. I was learning a lot about Nathan’s daily affairs as a result. I had quickly started to cherish those early morning moments with him, although a part of me had wondered if he had enjoyed that same routine with his first wife.

“Tom, Nathan was just telling me this morning about your latest stock recommendation. I believe he said it was a new startup company that is working on a flying car.”

Tom’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yes. Nathan gave me hell about that. Said it sounded like science fiction. We’ve been investigating it closely, however, and it seems like a good find. Nathan bought quite a few shares of their stock.”

“Yes! I teased Nathan about it. I told him it seemed crazy, but then we were reading in the paper about how Uber was investing in this same company.”

Cook brought in an antique silver tray and set it before Mother. The tray held coffee and all its accompaniments, including sugar and creamer. I reached over and grabbed the carafe before Mother could pick it up. I poured Beth a cup of coffee and offered her the sugar bowl.

Mother frowned at me. I ignored her, and offered Tom his own cup of coffee.

“Right. Whether or not they actually succeed with their ideas, the announcement about Uber has already made the stock price jump significantly. It’s looking like he made the right decision after all.” Tom stirred a little creamer into his cup.

We continued chatting about the future of this particular stock, and I had no problem contributing to our talk as I poured a cup of coffee for myself.

Mother seemed occupied in a discussion with Tom’s wife about the dry weather. However, Mother couldn't allow me to have a successful conversation with one of Nathan's associates. That just would not do. As soon as she realized the discussion was going well, she decided to speak up and put me in my place immediately.

"Mr. Nolan, you really shouldn't confuse her like that."

Mother always spoke in an ice-cold voice, devoid of all emotion, at least when she was talking to or about me. For the first time, I considered the possibility that she was jealous of the attention I was getting.

Tom and I paused our conversation and turned to her. Beth leaned toward Mother, too.

“How am I confused?” I tried to laugh it off and not show how much her words bothered me.

Mother ignored my question.

"Miss Turner is barely out of school. She's not ready to talk about grown-up subjects like the stock market." She laughed her trilling laugh that irritated me so much, and fingered her pearls, another of her habits that I was increasingly finding annoying. I would like to snatch that necklace off her neck, just to see her reaction.

Disgruntled, I didn't know what to say in reply.

Tom considered her for a moment and then said in reply, "Nathan certainly seems impressed with her abilities. He has talked my ear off about how quick she is to discuss his business dealings, and how eagerly she is learning how his business operates.” He turned back to me. “Now that I've met you, Darby, I can see for myself why he is so taken with you."

Smooth. My eyes lit up when I realized he was defending me. I was really finding that I liked Tom.

Mother looked sour with her pursed lips and perpetual frown. Although now that I think about it, that seemed to be her usual expression, at least when I'm in the room. I was riding high on this small triumph until Beth joined the conversation.

"Darby, I have to ask. Will you be hosting parties now that you have moved into the house? We haven't had any parties here since Savannah died. She was a wonderful host! Full of charm and wit. We had so much fun, didn't we, Tom?" Her voice was light and carefree.

Tom had the grace to look uncomfortable. Mother almost purred in her satisfaction.

I gathered myself. "I'm sure we will have a party before too long. Right now, Nathan is staying busy working, and I'm still getting settled in." I smiled with exaggerated sweetness at the group. "We are still on our honeymoon, after all."

***

OVER THE WEEKS TO COME, I had several encounters like that. Nathan's friends were wonderful people who seemed welcoming and friendly to me, but I kept overhearing conversations where they were comparing me to Savannah. I guess the comparison was inevitable, just a quirk of human nature. I would probably do the same in their shoes. Unfortunately, I heard all about her incredible beauty, the wild parties they were still laughing over, how funny she was, and the fun pranks she liked to pull on people, and on and on. It stung even though I tried not to let it show.

Two women, in particular, had me again questioning what Nathan saw in me. They had dropped by unexpectedly to meet me. They both volunteered in the school system, and Nathan frequently donated money to make improvements to the local elementary school. In fact, he had recently made a donation to the school library in my name.

I had gone to the kitchen to fetch some more sweet tea for my visitors, and when I returned to the parlor, they were conversing in low murmurs. I stopped in my tracks outside the door when I heard my name. I stepped back from the doorway so they wouldn’t see me.

"Darby is so very different from Savannah, isn't she?"

Jennifer was the one speaking, I think. Curly hair and fake boobs. She was also the wife of one of Nathan's business associates. I couldn't remember the other woman's name at all.

"Yes, she is so shy and doesn't seem to have much to say. Savannah would run all over her." There was a nervous giggle. "I wonder why Nathan chose someone so quiet to marry."

"And so young!"

"Right. It is very odd. I thought when Nathan did not start dating again, it probably was because he wasn't over Savannah's death. Maybe he married Darby because she was so different from his first wife? Maybe he didn't want someone who reminded him of his true love." Her voice was catty.

"Hush! She should be back any minute." More nervous giggles followed.

Their voices dropped to mere whispers, but it was probably better for me that I couldn't hear what they were saying. I had heard enough.

Crushed, I clutched the pitcher of tea to my chest and willed myself not to cry. I waited for a beat before I entered the room, so they wouldn't realize I had overheard them.

I couldn't help but think that Savannah would have known just what to say to these women to put them in their place. Or perhaps she wouldn't have even cared about their opinion. She would have just tossed her long hair back and went on about her business without another thought.

Not me. For days afterward, I would be engaged in some small task, their words would come back to me unbidden, and I would feel embarrassed and uncomfortable all over again.