Chapter Twelve

Becca

"Did you see Heather yesterday?" I ask Mike as we make breakfast.

"Before we talk about me, let's talk about you. What happened last night?"

"I went to see Ethan." I take the orange juice from the fridge.

"Are you two a thing now or what?"

"We're just friends. Like you said, he could use a friend right now."

"A friend who goes to his house at midnight? Sounds more like a booty call."

"It wasn't a booty call. He didn't even know I was coming over. I hadn't talked to him all day so I decided to just stop by and see how he was doing. I was only there a few minutes." I get some glasses out and pour the juice. "Mike, you've gotta stop this. You don't have to know where I am and what I'm doing at all times. When you were overseas, I took care of myself just fine, without anyone looking out for me."

"But now I'm here, and as your brother, it's my job to keep you safe."

"Actually, it's not." I hand Mike his orange juice. "And besides, what exactly do you think Ethan's going to do? He's not dangerous."

"I'm not worried about him hurting you physically. I'm worried about him breaking your heart. He's not the type of guy to be in a relationship, which makes me question his motives when it comes to you. You're a pretty girl, and guys like him go after pretty girls, especially when they don't have to work hard."

"What are you trying to say? That I'm easy to take advantage of?"

"No, of course not. But you're kind and compassionate and always want to help people. I don't want Ethan using that to get to you."

"He's not. And who's to say I'm not the one pushing this? Maybe I like him as more than a friend."

"Then you're setting yourself up to get hurt." I give him an angry look. "I'm sorry, Becca, but it's the truth. Ethan's a football star. Headed for the pros. I don't know the guy, but I'm sure he's got a pretty big ego. It's almost impossible not to when you're that young and getting that much attention from the media. Sports agents. Girls. The guy's got a lot going for him. He's focused on his future and what he needs to do to make it to the pros. He's not going to get into a relationship and settle down."

I'm tempted to tell Mike what Ethan said about not liking football as much as he used to, but Ethan doesn't want anyone knowing that so I keep it to myself.

"Ethan may not even play again," I point out.

"Maybe not in college, but that doesn't mean he can't keep training and try to go pro. His dad's an agent. He's gonna make sure his son gets signed by a team."

Again, I wish I could tell Mike how Ethan and his dad don't agree on his future, but that's not my secret to tell.

"Becca, I'm not saying you can't be friends with the guy. I'm just saying to leave it at that. Don't try to be more than friends. You'll just end up getting hurt."

"It's my decision to make, not yours." I hand him a box of cereal. "You don't know Ethan the way I do. He's not the guy you think he is."

Mike sighs as he pours cereal in his bowl.

Choosing to ignore his disapproval, I switch topics. "So what about Heather? Did you see her?"

"Yeah. We had dinner last night. She offered to make it but I took her out instead."

I smile. "So you went on a date. An actual date."

He grins. "I guess you could call it that."

"Did you do anything afterward?"

"We walked around the park. Then we sat on a bench and talked. She likes being outdoors."

"Just like you. Sounds like you guys have a lot in common."

"Yeah, I think there might be something there."

I hope so. He really needs this. A new relationship is the only way he's going to move on from Tricia.

Later that morning, as I'm finishing up at a house, my boss calls to tell me I have the afternoon off because the homeowners cancelled their scheduled cleaning.

With my afternoon free, I call up Ethan.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"Just having lunch. Are you on break?"

"I just finished up at a house. The next house cancelled so I'm free for the afternoon. You want to do something? I could come over."

"I have that doctor's appointment."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot." I know he'll probably turn me down but I ask anyway. "Why don't I take you to your appointment? Then you won't have to take a cab."

"That's all right. I already called and arranged for them to pick me up."

"So call them back and tell them you no longer need a ride. You'll save on cab fare."

"It's not that expensive. And I have the money. My parents add money to my bank account every month."

How great would that be? To have money deposited in your account without having to work for it? If only his parents would be actual parents and not just a source of income.

"It's not just about the money," I tell him. "I want to take you."

"And I don't want you to," he says in a clipped tone.

"I won't go in the room with you. I'll just hang out in the waiting room."

"I like taking a cab."

"But it'd be a lot easier for you to get in and out of my van."

"I said no!" His voice is raised and he's breathing hard.

I pause to let him cool down. Why does he get this way? He's so hot and cold.

"Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Ethan."

He doesn't say goodbye so I just end the call. I don't understand why he gets so angry whenever I offer to help. I really don't like that about him.

I go home and change clothes and have lunch, trying to decide how to spend my rare afternoon off. Although it's boring, a nap sounds good. I never get enough sleep.

My phone rings. It's Ethan. I'm mad at him for how he treated me earlier and consider not answering, but then I do.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just nervous about my appointment."

"I understand, but you don't have to take it out on me."

"I know, which is why I'm calling to say I'm sorry." He pauses. "Do you think maybe you could still take me?"

"Sure. What time do you need to be there?"

"Two-thirty."

Checking the clock, I see it's just after one. "I'll be there around two."

"Is there any way you could come over now? Like I said, I'm kind of nervous and you have a way of making me feel calm."

I smile. "Because of what we do when I'm there?"

"No. That makes me feel something else." He chuckles, then gets serious. "It's you. Being around you makes me feel calm."

Getting up from the table, I take my plate to the sink. "Give me a few minutes and then I'll leave."

"Thanks, Becca."

"No problem. See you soon."

I make him feel calm? Does that mean he normally feels anxious? It makes sense that he would, given his uncertain future and all the pressure he's under from his father. But why do I make him feel calm?

When I arrive at his house, I find that it's cleaner than usual. No clothes tossed on the furniture. No dishes left out.

"You cleaned?" I ask.

He pulls me down to the couch for a kiss. "The less time you have to spend cleaning, the more time I get to spend with you."

We kiss again, and keep it up until it's time to leave for his appointment.

"Don't you want to bring these?" I point to the crutches that are leaning against the wall.

"No. I don't want to jinx anything."

"We could just keep them in the van."

"I'd rather not. I don't know what's going to happen today and I don't want to get my hopes up."

He's getting nervous again. I can sense it. He was fine when I got here but now he's anxious, wanting to get this over with. He hasn't said anything about the appointment so I don't exactly know what it is he's worried about and I'm not sure if I should ask.

"Ethan." I stand in front of him before he goes outside.

"What?"

"It's going to be fine."

He nods but doesn't say anything. We go out to the driveway and get in the van.

On the way to the clinic, he says, "Today is when I find out if I'll need more surgery."

"Oh. I didn't know they were considering surgery."

"If it isn't healing right, then yeah. Then I'll be stuck in the chair even longer."

I reach over and hold his hand. "That's not gonna happen."

He looks away, out the side window.

At the clinic, I sit in the waiting room while Ethan sees the doctor. Mike calls while I'm waiting. He wasn't at the apartment when I was there during lunch.

"Hey. I'm going out tonight," he says. "I don't know what time I'll be home."

"Why are you telling me this? You know I don't get off work until midnight."

"I might be out later than that. Heather and I are going to the late movie after she gets off work."

"Another date?" I smile. "That's two in a row. And during the week. This is getting serious."

He ignores my teasing. "Just wanted to let you know where I'd be. I don't want to bother you at work so I'll let you go."

"I'm not at work. The homeowners cancelled today's cleaning."

"So where are you?"

"At Ethan's doctor's appointment. He's in there now. I'm in the waiting room."

"You took him to the doctor?"

"He didn't have anyone else to take him." I whisper it so the people next to me won't hear. They saw Ethan go in and I'm sure they know who he is. I don't want them spreading rumors about him.

"Sounds like something a girlfriend would do," Mike says.

"Or a friend."

"I'm just kidding. It was nice of you to take him. Becca, I gotta go. Text me when you get home from work tonight so I don't worry."

"Exactly how late do you plan to be out?"

"I'm playing it by ear. Maybe we'll get something to eat after the movie."

"Which is code for going to her place," I say, laughing to myself.

"Bye, Becca," he says in his annoyed-with-me voice. He gets annoyed when I tease him about his love life, even though he does it to me all the time.

After we hang up, I go find a vending machine and get a bottle of water. Before he went in to see the doctor, Ethan gave me a $10 bill and told me to go get a coffee somewhere so I wasn't stuck here at the clinic, but I didn't want to leave and have him waiting for me. Still, it was a nice gesture. When he's not in one of his moods, he can be really nice.

An hour goes by and I start to get concerned. What's taking so long? Just as I'm thinking that, he appears in the waiting room.

"Ready to go?" he asks, wheeling his chair over to me.

"You're smiling," I say, keeping my voice down because the people across from me are watching us. "Does that mean—"

"Wait until we're in the car."

Once we're in the van he says, "The doctor said I could start using the crutches and that I'll be able start physical therapy in a week or two."

"That's great!"

"Yeah. I might even be able to toss the football around at practice."

He still wants to play football? But he said it doesn't make him happy. It's not the time to talk about that so I don't.

"Want to go somewhere to celebrate?" I ask as we're sitting at a stoplight.

"No. Let's just go home."

"You don't have to use the chair anymore. I thought that was the reason you didn't want to go out."

"I don't feel like going out. Not right now."

"Okay." I turn down the road that heads back to his house. He seems moody again. Whenever the topics of football or his leg come up, he gets moody.

Back at his house, he tries out the crutches. "Feels good to stand up again."

I watch as he moves through the living room. "You're good with those. You don't even wobble."

"I broke my ankle in eighth grade. Had to use crutches for a few weeks." He makes his way back to me. "Now I don't have to reach up to kiss you. I can bend down, like I should've been doing."

He's a good ten inches taller than me. I'm not used to having to look up at him.

We kiss and make our way to the couch, where we kiss some more until I have to leave for my shift at The Chicken Shack.

As I get up, he pulls me back down. "Wait."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I was such an ass today. It was only because I was afraid of what I'd find out."

I nod. "I know."

He looks at me with those deep brown eyes. "Thank you for driving me. And coming with. I was so freaking nervous. It really helped to have you there."

"Any time."

He kisses me. "Have a good night. Call me later, okay?"

"I will."

As I'm leaving, I feel happy but confused. On the one hand, I feel like we're becoming closer. Like he's sharing things with me that he wouldn't share with anyone else. But then he gets moody and pushes me away and I get confused. I feel like he's shutting me out but I don't know why.

It's that constant push and pull that has me thinking this will never go anywhere. And maybe it won't. Maybe I just need to accept this for what it is. Just a short term fling. A summer romance.

***

The following afternoon, I head to Ethan's house to clean. It's the first time I've actually looked forward to one of my cleaning jobs. I thought of wearing regular clothes instead of my uniform but then decided to just wear it. Besides, I think Ethan secretly likes it.

He meets me at the door on his crutches. It's nice to see him standing up for a change. He's really tall.

"Hello, Mr. Baxter," I say in a formal tone. "I'm here to clean your house."

"Hey." He smiles and leans down to kiss me.

"I don't think you're allowed to do that, Mr. Baxter," I tease.

"And I don't think you're supposed to show up here looking so damn sexy." He pulls me inside and closes the door.

My eyes fall shut as he lays soft kisses down my neck. "I have to clean."

"Forget the cleaning." He brings me to the couch, tossing his crutches aside as he sits down and pulls me onto his lap. "I'm giving you the afternoon off." He cradles the back of my head as his lips cover mine, parting them and taking the kiss deeper.

He kisses better than anyone I've ever dated, which explains why I can't stop kissing him. I feel his hand on my thigh and secretly wish he'd move it up to where I want it. I want him to touch me there. I need him to. But instead his hand goes to the top of my dress, unbuttoning it down to my bra.

He roughly shoves the fabric down which makes me break from his lips, inhaling sharply.

He gives me that sexy bad-boy grin of his. "Can I?"

I bite my lip and nod. His mouth lowers to my breast and I softly moan as he sucks and licks and gently tugs on my nipple. His hand returns to my thigh and he slowly slides it under my dress until he reaches my panties. Finally! He strokes a path over the fabric, back and forth, with a light, teasing touch that's pure torture. I rub myself against his hand, begging for more. He pushes my panties aside, then slips two fingers inside me.

I gasp at his boldness but love it. He knew what I wanted it and didn't make me wait. I feel his erection pressing against me and all I can think about is how much I want it inside me. I said I wouldn't do it, but I've changed my mind. I haven't been with a guy in almost a year and I need this. I really, really need this.

"Oh God!" I cry out as I come, sweat trickling down my chest. The air conditioner's cranked up so it's cold in here but I'm burning up inside.

Ethan covers my mouth with his and kisses me as his hand slides back down my thigh, gently squeezing it.

"Better than cleaning?" he asks, smiling against my lips.

"Way better." I slide off his lap and unbutton the rest of my dress while kicking my shoes off. 

Ethan's eyes rake over my body. "What are you doing?"

"Undressing." I unhook my bra and toss it aside along with my dress.

"I can see that. Are you saying we're—"

I kiss him before he can finish. Then I quickly undo his belt and his shorts.

He stops and looks at me. "You sure about this?"

"More than sure."

He smiles. "Let's go to the bedroom. I don't want to do it here."

We make our way to his room, which isn't a mess like it was last week. He really did clean so I wouldn't have to.

As he undresses himself, I shove the covers back and get in his bed. He has bright white sheets that are buttery soft and seem expensive. His mom must've picked them out. I can't imagine Ethan shopping for sheets.

He grabs a condom from the nightstand and I watch as he puts it on. The rumors are true. Ethan Baxter is huge. I thought girls were just saying that when I overheard them bragging about being with him, but it's true. It's all true.

He lies next to me on his back. "You're gonna have to take over. I'm kind of limited in what I can do."

I don't mind. I have no problem being on top. In fact, sometimes I prefer it.

I straddle him, being careful of his leg. He grips my ass as I slowly lower over him, taking time to let my body adjust to his size.

"You okay?" he asks since I'm being so cautious.

"Yeah." I lean down and kiss him. With him fully inside, I start slowly rocking my hips back and forth.

He groans. "Fuck, that feels good." His eyes go to mine. "Sit up. I want to see you."

Lifting up, I continue my movements as he eyes my body, his hand tracing over my breast and down my stomach.

"You're beautiful," he says.

I close my eyes, focusing on his touch and the feel of his hand as it continues to move over my skin.

When I open my eyes, I see him watching me. His eyes lift slowly to mine and I feel something between us. Emotions I can't quite identify but ones we shouldn't be feeling.

This is turning out to be more intimate than I expected. It was only supposed to be sex, just bodies coming together satisfying a need. But it's more than that. We're letting our emotions get involved and we shouldn't. We were just supposed to be friends. Friends offering each other support and meeting each other's physical needs.

Turning my focus back to that, I close my eyes and speed up my movements. Ethan grabs my hips and I lean forward, holding onto his muscular shoulders. Soon my body is flooded with pleasure and I'm struggling to catch my breath. I keep going and feel Ethan's muscles tense and his fingers dig into my flesh as he comes.

He's breathing heavy, his eyes closed. I hover over him, then see his eyes open to look at me. I feel it again. The feeling that this was more than sex. More than just satisfying a need. But neither of us says anything.

He pulls me down over his chest and I lie there and feel him kiss my head. It feels real. Like he really cares about me. And I have to admit, I care about him too.