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Holding On by Allie Everhart (16)









Chapter Sixteen


Becca

I wake up in Ethan's bed, nestled against his warm body, his arm draped over my back. He's sound asleep, softly breathing, his head just above mine. I want to check the time but don't want to move from this perfect spot. It's warm and cozy and makes me want to drift back to sleep.

My phone vibrates on the nightstand. I'm guessing it's Mike, wondering where I am. I'm sure Heather told him I was with Ethan, but knowing Mike, he's calling to tell me to come home. 

When the buzzing stops, I carefully lift Ethan's arm off me and reach for my phone. Checking the screen, I find it's not Mike who called. It was my mom.

What does she want? And why is she calling me? She knows I never answer her calls.

She left a voicemail so I play her message, holding the phone close to my ear so Ethan won't hear.

"Becca, it's Mom. Jim and I want to have brunch with you and Mike tomorrow at eleven. I called Mike and he said he'd be there. Call me back and let me know if you can make it. We're meeting at the hotel downtown. That historic one. I can't remember the name. Anyway, see you then."

Her and Jim? She brought her boyfriend? Why would she bring her boyfriend?

"Hey." I feel Ethan rubbing my arm.

I set my phone down and lie back in my spot. "I was just checking my phone."

"Is something wrong?"

I sigh. "My mom just called. She left a message."

"What did she want?"

"To tell me to meet her and her boyfriend for brunch tomorrow. Apparently Mike already agreed to it."

"Are you gonna go?"

"I don't know. I don't want to, but I don't want Mike going there by himself. He tends to give in to whatever she wants, and she obviously wants something or she wouldn't have shown up. But I really don't want to go. I don't think I can handle it."

"I'll go with you."

I look at him. "What?"

"I said I'll go with you."

"Why would you go with me?"

"To help you get through it. Sometimes it helps to have an outsider at these things. Families tend to behave themselves with strangers around. That's why I always used to invite my friends over for dinner in the rare times my parents and I actually had dinner together."

I sit up. "You'd really go to brunch with me?"

"If you want me to, then yeah. I can't promise it'll help but if you think it might, then I'll be there."

"That would be awesome." I hug him. "Thank you."

This is why I keep coming back to Ethan. He can be super sweet, which makes me forgive him when he's a jerk.

"So tell me about your mom," he says. "Anything I should know before this brunch tomorrow?"

"Not really. I already told you she left us. That should tell you the type of person she is."

"Does she date a lot?"

"I don't talk to her often enough to know, but when I do talk to her, she's usually in a relationship. She was with the guy in Dallas for years. I didn't know they broke up. I didn't even know she'd moved. Whenever Mike tries to tell me about her, I shut him down."

"So you don't know anything about this new guy?"

"No, but I'm guessing he's rich. She has expensive taste and needs someone to buy her stuff."

"Does she work?"

"I'm not sure. Like I said, I don't let Mike tell me about her so I really don't know much about what she's been up to the past few years. Before she left us, she started getting involved in event planning, like helping with weddings, so maybe she's still doing that."

"So what do you think will happen tomorrow?"

"I don't know. I'm afraid to find out."

"I wouldn't worry about it."

"You wouldn't?"

"If she asks for something and you don't want to agree to it, then don't. It's as simple as that."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I smile at him. "So you're really going with me?"

"If you need me, I'm there."

"What if people come up to you and start asking questions?"

"You do what you did earlier. You get rid of them. Thanks for doing that, by the way. That guy would've stayed there for ten minutes if you hadn't gotten rid of him."

"Okay, it's a deal. You keep me from yelling at my mom and I'll keep your crazy fans away."

"Except for one." He pulls me on top of him. "I want to keep this fan as close as possible."

"Who said I'm a fan? I don't like football, remember?"

"You will. I'll teach you about it and make you watch some of my old games. By the time we're done, you'll love it as much as I do."

"I thought you didn't like it anymore."

"It's not that I don't like it. I love it. I love the game, and the competition, and the challenge of it. What I don't like is being told what to do. I don't like people planning out my future for me."

"Then tell someone. Tell your coach. Tell your parents."

"I can't. They'd tell me I'm being ungrateful. Not using my God-given talent and all that shit. My dad would probably send me to a shrink, thinking I've lost my mind."

"Just because you don't want to play football?"

"It's not just football. It's the pros. We're talking millions of dollars, even more if you add in the endorsements."

"The money shouldn't matter. Your family already has plenty of money."

"If you met my dad, he'd tell you you can never have enough money. And it's not just about the money. It's about the fame and the opportunities you have when you play pro ball. The people you're introduced to. The connections you make. It's about a lot more than just football."

"But if you don't care about those things, then why do it?"

"I don't know." His voice trails off and he seems distant. I think he's talked enough for tonight. I've noticed he shuts down when he doesn't want to talk, and it seems like that just happened.

"You want to watch a movie?" I start to get up.

"Let's watch right here." He pulls me down beside him and grabs the remote and turns on the TV. "I want just to stay here the rest of the night, and maybe not leave until we have to go to brunch tomorrow."

I reach up and kiss him. "Sounds good, but I do need to go home in the morning and change. I didn't bring nice clothes and brunch is at that fancy hotel downtown."

"The Chadwick?"

"Yeah. I've only been there once. I thought it smelled like mothballs, but it's really old so maybe it's just old building smell."

"Shit," he mutters.

"What's wrong?"

"The media stays at the Chadwick when they're in town. So do the scouts."

"Yeah? So? They're not in town right now. It's the middle of summer."

"But the staff knows them. Someone on staff could see me and tell the media."

"Ethan, I still don't get this. You're recovering from a broken leg. Everyone knows it takes time to heal."

"Reality and what people want to see are two different things. It's all about appearances. I have to appear strong, like I'm ready to hit the football field any day now."

"But that's not possible. The accident was in May. And didn't you have surgery?"

"Yes, but like I said, that doesn't matter. People still expect to see the old Ethan. The one who kicks ass on the football field and wins games, not the one with a cast on his leg, hobbling around on crutches."

"So you aren't gonna go tomorrow?"

"I don't think I can. I'm sorry, Becca. I really am. If it was anywhere else, then I could go and be okay with it, but the Chadwick is too risky."

"Maybe I could get her to change the location."

"Then you'll have to explain why." He runs his hand up and down my arm in a soft, soothing way, knowing how anxious I am about this brunch. "I'll tell you what. If your mom's driving you nuts, text me and I'll give you a call and come up with some reason why you need to leave."

"I can't leave Mike with her. He'll agree to whatever she says and then I'll be stuck doing whatever he agrees to."

"Then stay, and if your mom tries to talk you guys into something you don't want to do, call me. I'll make sure you don't agree to it. I'm good at keeping people on track. It's part of being a quarterback. If one of my guys gets distracted it's my job to get him back to where he needs to be. I'll do the same for you."

Everyone always says Ethan's such a great quarterback and I thought they meant because he can throw the ball, but I think they also meant that he knows how to lead a team. He has this way about him that makes you want to do what he says, which is probably how I ended up in his bed again. Actually, that's not true. He didn't need to convince me. The thought was in my head the moment he showed up at my door.

We watch a movie, then fall asleep. In the morning, I get up at eight and kiss Ethan goodbye and go back to my apartment. When I get there, I find that it's empty. So Mike spent the night with Heather. I'm a little surprised he did that. He normally doesn't move that fast.

I take a quick shower, then search my closet for something to wear. My wardrobe mostly consists of jeans and t-shirts, but I do have a couple skirts and dresses. I decide on a black sleeveless dress I've had forever. It's simple and classic and something my mom won't complain about. She's very picky about clothes. When I was a kid, she'd iron my clothes for school, even though they'd be wrinkled by the time I made it there.

"Hey," Mike says, coming through the front door. He looks ready to go in dress pants and a dress shirt. "When you'd get home?"

"About a half hour ago. Were you at Heather's?"

"Yeah. She had a leaky faucet so I went down to look at it. I'll fix it when I get back."

"She could just call the landlord."

"He won't fix it on a Sunday. I'll just do it myself."

"Did you stay there last night?"

He hesitates and glances away from me. "Yeah."

"It's not a crime, you know. I don't care if you stay with her, if that's what you're worried about."

"It's not that. It's..."

"What? You think it's too soon?"

"No. She asked me to stay and I wanted to but..." He shakes his head.

"Tricia," I say, fighting an eye roll.

"I know it sounds stupid but for a moment I felt like...never mind."

"Like you were cheating on Tricia?" I can't believe he thinks that, but knowing Mike, I know it's possible. He's still so hung up on her. "Mike, you haven't been with Tricia for months. You're not cheating on her. It's time to move on."

"I know." He rubs his hand over his jaw and takes a breath. "So anyway, I see you got my message."

"What message?"

"About having brunch with Mom."

"I didn't see your message. Did you send me a text?"

He checks his phone. "Shit, I didn't send it. Heather distracted me and I forgot. So how'd you know about it?"

"Mom called me and told me to be there. She said you'd already agreed to go."

"I'm surprised she called you. I told her I'd talk to you myself."

"I didn't actually talk to her. She left a message on my phone. She showed up here last night after you left."

"Yeah, she told me."

"So what do you think this is about?"

"She wants us to meet her new boyfriend."

"That's it? She came all the way here for that?"

"Maybe she's here to tell us she's marrying him."

"Marrying him? I didn't even know she was dating him. How long have they been going out? And why didn't you tell me she moved to Chicago?"

"I did. More than once. Weren't you listening?"

"Guess not." I tend to tune Mike out whenever he brings up our mom.

"We need to get going." He takes his keys from the hook on the wall. As I walk to the door, he says, "So you stayed with Ethan last night?"

"Yes, and don't get on my case about it. I'm already stressed out having to do this brunch. I don't need even more stress."

"I didn't say anything," he says innocently.

"Yeah, but you were about to."

"Only because you said you were staying in last night. What changed your mind?"

"Ethan stopped by." I open the door for Mike and we walk out to the parking lot. "I didn't know he was coming."

"How'd he get here? I thought he couldn't drive."

"He took a cab."

"Why didn't he just call and ask you to come over?"

Mike doesn't stop until he gets answers. It drives me crazy.

"I don't want to get into it, okay?"

We get in the van and as he's pulling out of the parking lot, Mike says, "So you and Ethan had a fight. That's why you came home yesterday afternoon."

"It wasn't a fight. And I don't want to talk about it so change the subject."

"Becca, you don't need this."

"Need what?"

"This back and forth shit where you like each other and then you don't. You just started dating. You shouldn't be fighting already."

"We weren't fighting. He was just in a bad mood yesterday."

"And he was taking it out on you."

"That's not what I said."

"You don't have to. I know that's why you left. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out, Becca. It's like I said, the guy is nothing but drama. His life. The people around him. You don't need that shit."

Mike's really starting to piss me off. What I do with Ethan is none of his business. I'm not a kid. And I'm not letting my brother tell me who I can and can't date.

"And how about you and Tricia?" I say, anger in my voice. "If you want to talk about unhealthy relationships, then let's talk about you and Tricia."

"It's not the same," he says, his jaw tightening.

"Oh really? And why is that? Because you two hid your feelings and never talked about stuff? Does that make you two better than Ethan and me? Maybe if you and Tricia had actually fought once in a while and got your anger out, she wouldn't have just left like that."

He stops at the intersection and looks at me. "Are you really gonna go there?"

I hear the hurt in his voice. I shouldn't have said that. He's spent God knows how many hours analyzing what went wrong in his relationship with Tricia. The last thing he needs is for me to pile on more guilt and even hint at the fact that he was partially to blame. It wasn't his fault she left. Tricia's just selfish and didn't want to stick around to help Mike recover.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that." I turn toward him as he drives down the street. "It wasn't your fault, Mike. There was nothing you could do or say to make her stay."

"Let's not talk about it."

We're quiet the rest of the ride there. When we reach the hotel, I see a shiny, black Lexus with Illinois plates parked in the valet area.

"I bet that's Jim's car," I say. "I'm assuming he's rich. She wouldn't date him if he wasn't."

"She said he works in finance. Manages retirement accounts."

"What else do you know about him?"

"He's divorced. Has two sons. I think they're both in college."

"Great. So if they get married we'll have new siblings."

"It's not like we'll have to interact with them."

"I know, but still. It's weird."

We walk up to the hotel entrance and go inside. The restaurant is off to the left. I spot Mom right away, sitting at a table sipping a Bloody Mary, a gray-haired man in a suit seated next to her.

"Over there," I say to Mike, pointing at Mom.

I'm already feeling sick seeing my mom. Maybe it's mean to say that but I really just want her out of my life. Seeing her just reminds me how much it hurt when she left. I wish she'd just leave Mike and me alone and stop showing up like this.

She gets up as we approach.

"Honey, it's so good to see you," she says to Mike. She hugs him first because he's her favorite. He at least pretends to like her. I don't even try. She lets go of Mike and gives me a quick hug. "Thank you for coming," she whispers to me because she knows I don't want to be here.

"This is Jim," she says, putting her arm around him. He's standing now and isn't much taller than my mom. He looks totally different than my dad, who was tall and muscular, like Mike. I always thought my mom would date someone who looks similar to my dad, but I guess not.

"Nice to meet you." Jim shakes Mike's hand and then mine, which is cold and clammy from being nervous. I feel even more nervous as we sit down and order. I just want to get this over with and leave.

The waitress stops by to take our order. I order French toast but I'm not hungry so I doubt I'll eat it. As everyone else orders, I check my phone and see a text from Ethan.

How's it going?

I just got here and I already want to leave.

Just relax.

I can't. My mom makes me nervous.

Don't let her. Take control. You're stronger than you think.

He's right. I'm stronger than this. I survived her leaving us, so I can definitely survive brunch.

"So, Becca, what do you do?" Jim asks.

"I wait tables and clean houses." I glance at my mom. "It's not what I want to be doing but I need money so I don't really have a choice."

My mom clears her throat and adjusts her napkin. "Becca's going to be a nurse. She's taking some time off from school, but she'll be going back, won't you, honey?"

"Depends on if I can afford it." I glare at her, noticing her expensive clothes and the designer purse hanging off her chair. She has the money to help Mike and me but she refuses to do it.

"How much school do you have left?" Jim asks.

"Just a semester," I tell him. "I'm taking a break from school to help Mike but I'll eventually go back."

Jim looks surprised. Did he not know how much Mike and I are struggling? If so, it makes sense. My mom wouldn't want Jim knowing how she treats us. It'd make her look bad. I'm sure she made up some lie for why she left all those years ago. A lie that made her the good one and my dad the bad guy.

My mom looks at Mike and smiles. "Tell us about your blog." She turns to Jim. "Michael has a blog for veterans."

"It's a podcast," he says. "The blog isn't really set up yet. It just has a homepage and a couple articles. I haven't had time to do much with it yet. But the podcast is doing well."

"I don't even know what a podcast is," my mom says, laughing a little. "Michael knows all about those Internet things. He's very smart."

"I'm not very tech savvy," Jim says to Mike. "Maybe you could teach me a thing or two."

Mike just nods. He seems as uncomfortable as I do. If it were just my mom here, he'd be fine, but having Jim here bothers Mike. He was really close to my dad and I know he doesn't like seeing Mom with someone else. I don't like seeing it either, especially when Jim puts his arm around her like he's doing now. And then he kisses her cheek. I look away, feeling sick to my stomach. It's bad enough I have to deal with my mom, but having to watch her with some guy who isn't my dad is even worse.

She gives Jim a kiss and Mike coughs a little, like he's hoping it'll make them stop. It works and they both turn and smile at us.

"Tell me about your podcast," Jim says.

Mike starts talking, and as he does I see my mom's eye catch on something behind me.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder as a deep voice says, "Sorry I'm late."

I turn and see Ethan there, wearing black dress slacks and a shirt and tie. I'm so happy to see him I jump up from the chair and give him a hug.

"You came," I whisper in his ear.

"It sounded like you needed me," he whispers back.

I turn toward the table. "This is my friend, Ethan."

"Boyfriend," he says, correcting me. He holds his hand out to my mom. "Good to see you again." He shakes Jim's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Ethan Baxter?" Jim asks, sounding both surprised and impressed. 

"That's me." Ethan takes the chair next to mine and I help him set his crutches down. "I take it you like football?"

"Huge fan. Both college and professional." He nudges my mom. "Why didn't you tell me your daughter's dating Ethan Baxter?"

She picks up her Bloody Mary. "I didn't think about it. I only found out myself just yesterday. And you know me. I don't follow sports. I didn't even know who he was until he told me."

Jim grins at Ethan. "You're slated to be a first round draft pick. Isn't that right?"

"That's what they say but you can never be sure."

"But how's that going to work with your leg? Are you even going to be able to play this season?"

I look at Ethan and see him tensing up. The last thing he wants to talk about is his injury and what it means for his football career. I promised to save him from these types of questions so I blurt out, "Jim works in finance."

"Oh, yeah?" Ethan says. "What kind of work?"

Jim's brows draw together, clearly confused by the change in topics. "I work for an investment firm in Chicago."

"What type of investments?"

"Stocks, bonds, mutual funds. I focus mainly on retirement accounts."

Ethan leans back in his chair. "So where do you think the market is headed? After two quarters of losses do you think it'll bounce back?"

Ethan knows about the stock market? For some reason I find that sexy.

The waitress stops by. "What can I get you?" she asks Ethan.

He looks for a menu but she already took them.

"I'll get you one," the waitress says.

"That's okay. I'll just take a ham and cheese omelet."

After she leaves, Jim talks about his job. Mom looks bored to tears, sucking down her Bloody Mary. I'm bored, too, listening to Jim drone on, but I'm happy Ethan's here. The tension at the table lessened as soon as he showed up, at least for me it did. Mike still looks uncomfortable. 

I can't believe Ethan came here today. He didn't want to, but he did. For me. He knew I needed him, so he got up, got dressed, and took a cab all the way here to be with me.

What am I going to do with you, Ethan? You're making me fall for you, harder than I should.

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