HE WAS FURIOUS AND FRUSTRATED all at once. Ryan wanted to lock Emily in her room and not let her out until he could put her on a plane to the States, but she was too stubborn, too determined to do what she wanted.

He hadn’t meant to kiss her. Hadn’t meant to let her know that she had his brain twisted into knots and his libido revving into overdrive.

But goddamn, she was sexy. And sweet, so damn sweet.

Her lips softened beneath his, and he groaned as his tongue slid into her mouth. She was like honey and silk, her tongue meeting his softly, then a little harder as he tipped her head back for better access.

He let her wrists free, half certain she’d shove him away.

She did not. Her arms went up, around his neck, and she arched her body into his. Her sweet, perfect little body that nestled his child inside.

Oh, God.

It was such a staggering thought. An overwhelming feeling. It had the power to bring him to his knees if he thought about it too much.

Emily Royal was pregnant with his baby. And she wouldn’t let him protect her. Wouldn’t let him do what was second nature to him, which was keep her and their child safe from harm.

He’d take a bullet for her. For them. She didn’t understand.

She wanted him to marry her because he couldn’t live without her. He was pretty sure he could live without anyone. His childhood had taught him that. He’d learned to live without a mother, and he’d survived it. Hell, he’d thrived after he’d finally come to accept what she was and that she was no good for his life.

So, yeah, he could live without anyone. But wanting to—that was another matter.

He slid his hands down Emily’s sides, gently worked her shirt free from her pants. Then his palms skimmed up her bare skin, feeling the heat and silkiness of her. She shuddered beneath his touch, and his cock strained against his fly, aching to be let free. To be touched.

He hadn’t been with a woman since he’d been with her. Hell, he hadn’t been with any woman for about six months before he’d slept with Emily, truth be told—and he was primed. Fucking primed to go off like a rocket.

His fingers touched the lacy softness of her bra, and then he rounded her breasts and cupped them. She gasped as he glided his thumbs over her hardened nipples. He pressed a little harder, a little rougher, and she moaned.

Had she been this sensitive before? He didn’t think she had, but maybe pregnancy made a difference.

Shit. She was pregnant and he had to be careful with her. He’d never been with a pregnant woman, but he knew they were more delicate.

He left her breasts and smoothed his way down to her ass, which he cupped as he pulled her against his body, increasing the pressure in his groin.

He wanted to rip her clothes off and bury himself inside her, but he sensed that wasn’t necessarily the way to go here. Because once it was over, there would be recriminations. Regrets and pain. He didn’t want to cause her more pain.

He didn’t want to cause himself more pain. This—this being with her and knowing she carried his child, this infuriating change in her personality compared with how she used to be with him—was painful enough. He didn’t understand her anymore, didn’t know how to deal with her the way he once did.

He felt her stiffen in his arms, and then her hands slid from around his neck to his chest. Her palms flattened against his pecs—and then she pushed, gently but firmly, and he broke the kiss, his inner caveman berating him for not getting her spread-eagled and naked on the bed.

“We can’t do this. Not here.” She wouldn’t look at him, and that was somehow a hundred times worse than if she had.

“Marry me and we can do it wherever we want.”

She closed her eyes and forced out a breath. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” He shrugged, and she blinked at him.

Then she shook her head. “Are you making jokes, Ry?”

He was the joker of the team, but he hadn’t felt much humor in the past two months. He still didn’t. Jokes were simply a way of hiding pain and insecurity, though most people didn’t get that. It had been his coping mechanism as a child, and it still was.

“Maybe I am. But it’s also true. Marry me, and no one on earth can stop us from doing what we want to do together.”

“Colonel Mendez would have your ass. And you’d lose your job—is that what you want?”

He quite possibly would lose his job. Hell, he definitely would. Marrying a known terrorist’s widow? A career killer for sure.

“I’ll deal with it when it happens.”

“Don’t you see why I have to stay here? Why I have to finish this mission and find where those hostages are located? Maybe that will be enough to clear my name and let me have a normal life again.”

He wanted to go find Ian Black and put a bullet in the fucker’s head. “If Colonel Mendez couldn’t fix it, what makes you think Black can? You need to realize he’s lied to you for his own reasons.”

Her brown eyes flashed. “You’re so certain of that, aren’t you? That Ian lied and that I’m dumb enough to believe him. You can’t even entertain the possibility he’s telling the truth. But don’t you realize what that would mean for me? For us?”

He wanted to growl. “Of course I know. But he’s a liar, Emily. He’s dirty, no matter that he seems to be on the right side at the moment. Ian Black is the kind of man who’ll sell his services to the highest bidder—and if you get caught on the wrong side, you’ll be the one who suffers.”

She shook her head. “I’ve already suffered—don’t you get that? It’s a chance I’m willing to take.” She put her hand over her belly. “It’s a chance I have to take.”

He looked at her fingers resting on her stomach, and a wave of possessiveness rolled through him like a tsunami. Mine. He couldn’t stop her, that much was clear. She would fight him every step of the way.

But he could protect her. No, goddammit, he would protect her. She was his in a way she never had been before—and he took care of what was his.

He pointed at her. “You aren’t going anywhere without me, you got that? You step outside this room, I’m with you. You do an end run around me, and I swear to God, Emily, I’ll have your ass bound and gagged and on a plane before you know what hit you. Are we clear on that?”

Her face reddened and her eyes looked like they might bug out of her head. But she kept a rein on her temper for a change. She nodded, a firm, decisive movement that told him she knew he meant business.

Someone knocked on her door and she jumped. Ryan strode over and yanked it open. Brandy was on the other side, his eyes widening as Ryan stood in the entry.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked with an arched brow.

“Yes,” Ryan said at the same time Emily said, “No.”

Emily came over and pulled the door wider. Ryan let go and stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting.

“We were just talking,” Emily said dismissively. “Have you heard from Victoria?”

“Yeah, had a message a little while ago. She’s relieved you’re okay. Wants you to come home—and I think she’s target practicing for the next time Ian’s in town.”

Emily snorted. Ryan didn’t think Brandy was joking, however. Or mostly not joking. Soon she’d be practicing with a picture of him as a target too.

“I’ll be home soon,” she said. “As soon as this mission is over, probably.”

Brandy cocked his head, studying her. “Why did you come here in the first place, Em? There were no hostages when you left DC, so why the change of heart now?”

Emily’s gaze dropped. “It’s hot and dusty here—and I’m tired of it.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Ryan said. “You can’t keep it a secret forever.”

Emily turned to glare at him. But Brandy’s gaze ping-ponged between them. “Keep what a secret? What’s going on?”

Ryan thrust his jaw out. Dammit, he didn’t want to be her dirty secret. Not when this was so life-altering for them both.

“Don’t you dare,” Emily grated. “Now’s not the time.”

“Not the time for what?” Brandy asked, his gaze narrowing.

“She’s pregnant,” Ryan said, ignoring the daggers she glared at him. “And it’s mine.”

---

Emily wanted to kill him. Just wrap her hands around his stubborn throat and squeeze the life from his too-sexy body. Just a few moments ago, she’d been wrapped in his arms, her body pressed against his, and seriously considering ripping his pants open and dropping to her knees before him.

Now she’d like to clobber him.

Nick Brandon looked like someone had clobbered him, come to think of it. He gaped at them both. And then the storm clouds rolled in, and Emily could see it coming. The macho asshole was going to have a come-apart. And then Ryan would have a come-apart—and the room would be overrun with testosterone as the two idiots fought over her honor or whatever in the hell they were going to fight about.

“Stop it right now,” she said as Nick took a step toward Ryan. “I mean it. No one, and I mean no one, is getting into any fights over me or this baby. Ryan, you jerk, you could have kept your mouth shut. And Nick, I know you’re only pissed because you know Victoria will be pissed—but honest to God, I’m a grown woman and I can make my own mistakes, so stay the fuck out of this.”

Nick didn’t look like he was planning to back down—but he didn’t move either. His face was a thundercloud.

“Damn right I’m pissed, and not just because of Victoria,” he growled. “You’re my little sister, or about to be my little sister, and I’m not letting some asshole who can’t keep it in his pants take advantage of you.”

Ryan laughed. “Jesus, that’s rich. You and Victoria couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to Emily half the time because you were so damn wrapped up in each other that you forgot she existed.”

“I’m going to wipe the floor with you, Flash. Motherfucking wipe the floor and then throw you out like the douche rag you are—”

“Come on, buddy. You fucking try it,” Ryan said, stepping closer, opening his arms to give Nick a target.

“No!” Emily yelled as they charged each other like bulls. Somehow she got between them and put her hands on their chests.

They subsided immediately, but their faces were pure fury. She hated that they were ready to come to blows over her. She’d been around HOT for months, on and off, and she knew how close they were. Like brothers. They relied on each other for their lives. They were a well-oiled machine, and they operated behind enemy lines with the complete conviction that each man—or woman—had the backs of every member on their team.

And yet these two were ready to kill each other, and all because of her. Because she’d fallen for Ryan and refused to let him go when she should have. Because she’d gone to him and begged him to break his personal code of honor and make love to her just once.

“It’s my fault,” she said, her throat tight. “Everything is my fault. And if you two start fighting because of me, I’ll feel worse than I already do. So please—please—promise me you won’t fight.”

Neither of them said anything at first. But then Ryan’s fingers were on her hand, stroking softly across her skin.

“I won’t break Brandy’s face, I promise.”

Nick grunted. “And I won’t break Flash’s. Though I want to… and I can’t promise that Victoria won’t do anything. That one’s out of my hands.”

“I’ll take care of Victoria,” Emily said. Though she thanked God her sister was half a world away at the moment. Victoria was one frightening woman when she was angry. Cold, cool, and utterly focused. Not to mention she was one of the best snipers HOT had.

Not that she would lie in wait for Ryan and shoot him dead. Emily shivered. No, she definitely wouldn’t do that. But she just might do something pretty scary to put him on notice. Shoot a chunk out of his ear maybe…

“How did this happen?” Nick asked, and Ryan made a noise in his throat that sounded like a warning.

Emily ignored it. “The usual way, I imagine. But before you go telling Victoria that Ryan took advantage of me, you need to know I’m the one who came on to him. He said no. I didn’t accept his answer.”

“You could have kept saying no, buddy,” Nick said, looking over her shoulder at Ryan as if she hadn’t said a word and it was all Ryan’s fault.

“It’s really none of your business,” Ryan said. “I don’t ask you about your relationship with Victoria, do I?”

“Not the same thing.”

“Yeah, it fucking is. Emily is a grown woman. She makes her own choices.”

She appreciated him standing up for her. Ryan was the only one who’d seen her as capable of making her own decisions when she’d returned to the States after she’d been rescued. Yes, he’d been there for her and guided her through a few rough moments—but he’d never doubted her ability to choose for herself. Until now, which really pissed her off.

Still, it was one of the reasons she’d fallen for him in the first place.

“So when’s the wedding?” Nick asked, and Emily’s heart lurched.

“We were working on the details when you interrupted.” Ryan spoke mildly, but she could hear the annoyance—and the determination—behind the words.

“We aren’t getting married,” Emily said. “Ryan asked. I said no. End of story.”

“It’s not the end of the story,” Ryan growled.

Nick put his hands up. “Oookay, guess I’ve heard enough. I’m out of here.”

Emily caught him before he backed out of the room. “You won’t tell Vic, will you?”

He gave her a look that said she was crazy. “Honey, I can’t hide stuff from her. That’s not how it works.” He sighed and shook his head. “We’re on a mission, so contact isn’t regular. I can’t message her again for another couple of days. If Black can get a call out for you, you might think about letting her know before I do.”

It wasn’t much of a reprieve, but it was something. Emily tried not to look visibly relieved. “I’ll see if that’s possible. Thanks, Nick.”

“Sure.” He bent to kiss her on the cheek, then glared at Ryan. “You take care of her, Flash.”

“That’s the plan, asshole.”

Nick walked out and Ryan went over to the door. Then he stopped and turned back to her. “I’m gonna get my gear. You better be here when I get back.”

Emily’s jaw dropped. “You aren’t sleeping in here, Ry!”

His expression was hard. “Yeah, I fucking am. I’ll sleep on the floor, but I’m not leaving your side. Until you return home, I’m your shadow.”

Her throat was tight. “You’re on a mission. You have hostages to rescue.”

“I know that. When it’s time to go get them, I’m going. Until then, I’m with you.”

“No.” She shook her head so hard her hair came loose from the hasty bun she’d put it in. “No way. How do you expect me to explain what you’re doing here?”

He snorted. “I don’t much care.”

“I’m locking the door when you leave.”

“Fine. I’ll sleep in the hall.”

She clenched her fists at her sides. “You’re impossible.”

“No… I’m determined.”