Most seniors had free periods. Some stacked their classes, so they only had to go to school for half a day. I didn't have a car, so I chose to have my period right after lunch. I couldn’t go home early. Yes, my house was within walking distance, but I didn't want to make that walk, rain, snow, or blistering sun. Also, my dad wasn't a fan of me lounging around the house half the day, if I was being honest.

It was lame, but I always ran to the auditorium for my free period. I practiced lines or tweaked my screenplays. I hid behind the curtain and wrote poetry. The time was never wasted. Not for me.

Today was not a good day for concentration, for quiet solitude. Technically, I was never alone. Desi Armand and Chet Holman always joined me on their free periods. Desi worked on homework in the seats and Chet worked on his set. Arranging fake trees, organizing our costume department. Occasionally other students would sit in the seating area, scattered randomly. But everyone kept to themselves for the most part.

I chose to sit behind the giant red curtain that generally covered the stage. It was pulled back, and I hid on the right side, behind the gathered fabric.

Bryan was in the room. With Rodney, Mike, Brian with an I, and Nathan. A cluster of popular boys, chattering and laughing and not belonging here. I felt nervous, my foot tapped the stage floor as I wrote. My cursive was shit, and my hand ached. I had no idea what I was writing, but I was shit at distracting myself. I was listening to them speak, listening to their gossip. Did they know I was back here? I was always here. I lived for this room.

I didn't hear Bryan’s voice. He was never the loud one, the flamboyant one. That was always Rodney. Rodney with his big calves, and his big arms and hands, and his spiky hair. He had fat lips and acne scarring on his neck. He was tall, 6’3, and he drove the most beautiful car in the student parking lot. His father was a suit, he worked in Topeka, and his children and wife wanted for nothing. Rodney’s mother was a stay-at-home mom even though none of her kids were home to take care of.

I pulled my tapping foot from the stage, slipped it under my ass, and laid back. My skull made a gentle thump as it hit the old wood. My hands clutched my notebook to my chest. Bryan was my escort for the homecoming dance, yet I couldn’t go out there and speak to him. When I got him alone, it was bearable. It was doable. But with his entourage, I was stuck. I was beneath him. In their eyes, anyway.

My name pulled me from my self-loathing.

“Just do it, man. It’ll be hilarious.” Rodney’s voice boomed around the auditorium. Laughter echoed behind it, the sound of every voice. I didn't know if Bryan was laughing or not. He had a quiet laugh. You could see it in his eyes, in the way his shoulders shook. He wasn’t loud in anything he did. In the way he moved or the way he spoke. He was quiet and beautiful.

Finally, I heard his voice. “Nah, man.”

“C’mon. Don’t be a pussy. Just, if she wins, which, let's be real, if she wins, what a fucking joke.” More laughter followed and I shot up, pushing my ear to the curtain. “If she wins, slap her on the ass and say ‘who’s your daddy!’”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Bryan’s tone was even, with a slight air of condescension, or maybe that was just my imagination, my hope.

“It doesn’t have to make sense. The point is to embarrass her. This shit has gone on long enough. And you know she is in love with you. So don’t even deny that. We all do. She stares at you all the time. It’s embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing that a chick likes me?” I could hear the eye roll in Bryan’s voice. I smiled.

“No. You know that’s not what I mean, dumbass. It’s embarrassing that she even thinks for a second that she has a chance with you.” I didn’t have to see his face to know what it looked like. Ugly and showing all the ugly in him.

“Harsh.” Bryan sounded bored. I moved slowly, sliding my ass along the stage, to the back. Where I knew I could push the curtain to the side, just slightly, for a visual.

“But then, you encouraged it, too. Saying you would be her escort.”

“Let it go.” I caught sight of them then. The other guys were watching the exchange. I’d always wondered about the power dynamics of the popular crowd. Aurora ruled the girls, but with the boys, it was unclear. Rodney was an alpha, through and through. It was in his walk, his talk, his stance. But he would never be as beautiful as Bryan. Every girl in school wanted to be by Bryan’s side, in his bed, on their knees for him. And now, Aurora was sniffing around him, in public. Everyone knew their families were close. That they spent some holidays together, and summer vacations. But at school, Aurora always seemed to have more power than him. He was not immune to her indifference.

“Whatever, man. If you don’t want to put her in her place, I will.” Rodney stood, his long legs stepped over the seat in front of him. Bryan crossed his arms, staring at his friend’s retreated form.

“What are you going to do?”

Rodney turned, flashing his smile. It was the one thing he had going for him. It distracted from his ugly heart. I could see it, though others were blind to it. “I’ll be up there, too. Don’t forget that.”

Maybe the answer was there. Who had the most power. Rodney was our senior class homecoming candidate. He wasn’t the starting basketball player. He never racked up more points than Bryan, but he was our pitcher for the baseball team. And he was damn good. Bryan didn’t play baseball. When he was in eighth grade his father made him choose. Saying he could be okay in both sports, or excel in one.

I looked at Bryan’s long legs, spread out in the seat. His broad shoulders and his square jaw. His face was a little red. “Don’t.” One word and it chilled me. I shivered from my spot on the stage.

“Why?” Rodney spun around, his arms wide. “She’s just a theatre geek. Don’t piss away a good thing.”

“What good thing is that?”

“Aurora. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed her actually treating you like she gives two shits now.”

“She’s always treated me that way.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re family, blah, blah. But now she’s treating you like she gives a shit in public. We all know that’s never happened.”

“It’s true, man.” Nathan clapped his hand on Bryan’s shoulder and he pulled his eyes from Rodney long enough to roll them at his other friend for encouraging Rodney.

“Do you like her?” Brian with an I spoke and Bryan turned to his other side. He was surrounded.

“Who?” Bryan’s tone was annoyed. He shrugged the hands from his shoulder and stood, climbing over the seat in front of him to stand next to Rodney.

Rodney’s booming laugh sent goose bumps up my arms. “The fact that you had to ask who is pretty scary, dude. Why would he be asking if you like Severin? First of all, you can’t like a chick with a name like that.” I scrunched up my face. Fuck you, Rodney. I liked my name. My mother gave it to me.

Bryan walked to the stage, leaned against it. His head fell to his chest, and he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. I wanted to walk out there. To halt it all. To be brave and unflinching. But that was something I would never be. I looked at Bryan, in all his beauty and turmoil. “I hate all of you. Seriously. She just asked me to be her escort and I said yes. It’s not this big deal that you guys are making it out to be. Let it go.”

“Just answer the question then. And it’s done,” Rodney pressed.

“Which one? The ass slapping? No. Not happening.” Bryan stared at his shoes. I watched the clench of his jaw, the red of his ears.

“No, forget that.” Rodney waved his hand in the air, dismissive. “Do you like her? And don’t fucking ask who. Severin, do you like her?”

I let the curtain slip from my hands. I didn’t want to see his face when he answered. Because I knew the answer. It wasn’t the one I dreamt about. The one I wrote about. The one I heard him say in our fictionalized story. It was the one I knew he would say in our reality. I closed my eyes as the words hit my ears.

“Of course I don’t.”