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If Ever by Angie Stanton (4)


5


We meet at a dive bar down the street from my rent-a-room, away from the glaring eye of the cameras. I clamp my hands around my beer with vice-like force. Dominic takes a long drag of beer then sighs. 

"Are you quitting?" I blurt.

He looks up in surprise. "What? Of course not."

"It's pretty obvious you don't want to be here."

"Chelsea," he sighs again. "I owe you an apology. I'm not normally such an ass."

I gulp at his honesty, and then choke on my own spit. Hacking, I pound my chest and take a drink of beer to recover. 

"I'm sorry. Can we call a truce? I don't see how we can continue unless we do."

"I know you don't like me. You wish you would have been dancing with Mallory Becker."

"I don't dislike you."

I laugh. "Whatever. You kind of made it clear the first minute we met."

He frowns and scratches his head.

I mimic his stern body language from that day we met three weeks ago. "You're going to fall in love with me, but trust me, it'll be one sided."

He leans back in the booth and shakes his head. "Christ, I am an ass."

I smirk. "I'm not looking to fall in love with you or anyone else." Okay, maybe I wouldn't mind finding love, but doing it on this show is never going to happen. 

"Show romances are always a bad idea anyway. They rarely last."

"I was thinking more that there are so many egos in this business. No wonder most of you are single."

"I'm not single." He says. 

"You're not?" I figured he was a total player.

He shakes his head. "Nope." He pulls out his phone and shows me his screensaver, a photo of him and a beautiful brunette. 

"Wow. I had no idea."

"That's by design. Emma and have been dating for almost a year. She works for an insurance company, far from the entertainment business. I swear it's the only way to have a successful relationship."

I relax and sip my beer. "Why do you keep it a secret?"

"It's easier. Showing up on TMZ isn't something we're interested in."

"But back to the current situation. You and I both had a lot of preconceptions of this season. I've been trying to transition to some other projects, but I gave all that up with the promise of working with Mallory Becker. When that fell apart and I ended up with..."

"A nobody," I offer.

He winces. "That's not what I meant."

"It's okay. I know what I am. I never planned on being on this show."

He cocks a skeptical eyebrow.

"It's true. I didn't know anything about the auditions. My boyfriend had just dumped me on the same day my best friend, Anna, got engaged. We were out celebrating for her and drowning my misery. There was this big Celebrity Dance Off audition set up at the bar. Anna thought it would be fun and made me try out. All our friends did. I was bombed. Couldn't you tell from my audition tape?"

Dominic starts laughing. "I thought you were just confident and comfortable on camera. Why did you agree to do the show? You could have said no."

"Since I graduated, I've been working for this international acquisitions firm. I hated it. They're a bunch of overpaid pompous jerks. This seemed like a ridiculous excuse to get out of it." I don't mention that a little part of me, the little girl who dreamed of rainbows and unicorns, thought it would be like living out a childhood fantasy to dress up like a princess.

"That's rich." He drains his beer. "So neither one of us is all that jazzed about this season and yet, here we are."

"Here we are," I agree.

"We have two options the way I figure it. We can give up, crash and burn, and be outta here..." He pauses.

"Or?"

"Or, we say 'screw it' and have a good time. Either way we're probably going home next week, but at least if we give it our all, maybe you can leave with a few good memories." He lifts his glass with a sardonic smile.

It would be nice to turn this nightmare around, so I raise my glass to his. "Let's do it."


"Talk about the first day of school all over again," I say to Anna as I climb out of my car and approach the official Celebrity Dance Off rehearsal building. Now that a couple people are off the show, Dominic and I get to join the rest of the cast.

"You're one of the cool kids now too," she laughs.

But I don't feel or look like one of them. I enter the two-story building and show my ID to the security guy. Apparently on occasion they have overzealous fans try to sneak in, and as it's my first day here, he'd have no idea who I am if it weren't for the list on his clipboard.

 Inside there is a well-lit hallway with a changing area off to one side and a break room with fresh snacks, a microwave, and full-size fridge off to the other. Muffled music sounds from behind a couple of closed doors and arguing from another. I peek through the narrow window and see Shane, the young Olympic diver getting dressed down by pro Cassie, a redheaded fireball who I'd never want to cross.

Each room I pass is occupied, and still no Dominic. I glance in another window. Hank is saying something to Sonya that makes her laugh. 

At the end of the hall I find Dominic on his phone in a common area with a couch, recliners, and large plants. He waves and finishes his call. "You found it."

"This place is a lot different than where we were rehearsing before," I say, admiring the bright lighting and fresh paint.

"Yeah, it's Cadillac. You ready for some quick step?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." 

Upstairs in an open rehearsal room, our producer and cameraman are deep into a bag of sugared doughnuts. I set my bag next to the wall and soak up the cheery room. One wall is covered in mirrors, the opposite with windows overlooking the parking lot. The polished wood floors gleam in the natural light. 

Dominic connects his phone to the Wi-Fi for our music. "As long as you're willing to try your best, we'll have a fighting chance."

"I'm ready." I step into the middle of the room, eager to dive in. 

But it turns out I'm not ready at all. After two hours of stumbling and swearing at my own ineptness over the intricate steps, Dominic admits the quick step is one of the more difficult dances for a beginner to learn. Unlike our short tempers from the first few weeks though, we're actually laughing, mostly at my screw ups, but it's a relief to relax and have some fun. 

The days fly by, rehearsals, meetings for costumes, concept, and set design. At Anna’s urging, I finally bite the bullet and go shopping for the latest in cute dance clothes. 

At night, I practice every last toe point, arm position, and frame hold. First I type up the moves on my laptop so I don't forget, then mark through the steps repeatedly until my brain knows them inside and out. I may not be a dancer, but that doesn't mean I can't do my best to fake it. I've learned one thing in life, and it's that if you want something, you have to work your ass off to get it. 

Before dropping into bed each night, I kick back with my e-reader and put something other than dance steps in my brain. Anna calls a lot to make sure I'm not losing my mind or becoming a total hermit in my Hollywood hideaway, but so far all I've lost is two toenails from my aching feet.

Suddenly it's Monday again and we're huddled backstage waiting for our entrance. I'm wearing a frothy, ankle-length dress. I've survived my first spray tan where I stripped down so a complete stranger could spray chemicals over every nook and cranny of my pale skin. Dominic is dapper wearing a dark suit. He got the better end of the deal.

I shake out my hands as if that will release my nerves. My heart is pounding, but with excitement and not the terrible dread I've felt in the past. I tug at my bodice, wishing I could cover the plunging neckline. The dress is backless, leaving me bare and feeling every bit of cool air as someone walks past. 

"I feel half naked."

"Nah, just enough to keep the viewers happy. Trust me, the more skin you show, the better our scores will get."

I shake my head. If that's the truth, how pathetic.

Dominic speaks softly as we're introduced. "You've done the work, now let's go out there and have fun." He takes my hand and leads us to our starting position. "Smiling is good too," he adds with a grin.

I force an awful, toothy grin. 

"Okay, not if it's like that." He cringes, and I laugh.

Marcus introduces us, the music starts, and we're off. Dominic feeds me each move, but I've practiced this number so many times, I dream about it at night.

We whip across the dance floor and it doesn't take more than a few measures before I realize I'm enjoying myself. I glance at Dominic and he smiles back, twirling me into the next sequence. From that moment, everything clicks. We're a team, flying through the fast moves of the quickstep, adding the personal flair that Dominic is known for in his dances, we dip and spin and play off each other. I miff a couple of steps, but don't care. My gorgeous dress floats around me like a cloud.

When we finish, I realize I'd forgotten for a moment that there was an audience. "Wow, that was fun!" I yell over the audience applause, my heart pounding with joy.

He laughs. "That's how it's supposed to be." 

We join Marcus to face the judges. Dominic's arm goes around my waist and he hugs me as we hear our remarks. This time it seems normal and not awkward.

"That's what I've been talking about! We saw chemistry and personality," says, Nikki LaFlash.

Stephen Harris beams. "Talk about a reversal of fortunes. I don't know what you two did to work things out, but it's clear things have changed. Great job. If you're through to next week, which I hope you are, work more on form."

I nod and grin. I could care less about scores. It was a blast. But when the scores come in, we get one seven and two eights, which is the best we've ever done. Dominic and I hug and celebrate as the show goes to commercial.

"Nice job." Hank pats me on the back. 

"Thanks, it was a blast."

We watch the rest of the performances. Some of the couples are getting really good, like Eva the soap actress and Brady, the celebrity chef. Even the kid wonder, Shane, is shaping up to be a contender, but Tedrick the rapper has a bad night. Haley the super model, while gorgeous to look at, doesn't have much rhythm. Hank does a cute number, but I've learned enough about dance now to know it's pretty basic. His grin and charisma are adorable and I hope will pull him through.

After the show, I attend the after party. I've combed out my hair and toned down my makeup, but left on enough to still fit in with this Hollywood crowd. I sit in my car on the phone with Anna until I see a few cast members arrive.

"You were amazing tonight," Anna gushes. "And I love the rehearsal clothes you were wearing in the package. Huge improvement."

"Thanks. They cost a fortune."

"You're worth it. Now get in there and play nice. You'll have fun."

"Fine, but if no one talks to me, I'm outta there."

"Fair enough," she says with a laugh.

I enter the trendy restaurant decorated with neon blue lights draped strategically from every wall. The lights tie off a futuristic Star Trek sorta vibe. Hank is at a table across the room. I sneak a chair next to him.

"You made it!" He gives me a jovial pat.

I order a fancy drink off the martini menu and notice Shane with Haley. "He sure is having a good time." The eighteen-year-old diver ogles Haley's substantial mammaries, which are at his eye level considering her runway model height and sky-high heels.

"He's like a young pup nipping at her heels. Look how she's playing with him." Hank laughs.

Sure enough Haley is arching her back and brushing against him as she fingers a lock of professionally bleached hair. I notice there's a lot of positioning and flirting among various stars, pros, and troupe dancers. The pro Ivan gives me bedroom eyes from across the room. I smile nervously and look away.

"Be careful of that one," Hank says. But it's fine. I'm happy to be safely ensconced at the "misfits’ table" with a senior citizen. 

Dominic stops by. "Great job tonight." He gives me a quick shoulder squeeze before moving on to Pavel. Being on the show is so much more fun now that we're getting along. 

Hank tells stories of life on the road and has me laughing until my sides ache and I almost pee my pants. I'm saved when he's recognized by some country music fans and is pulled away. I take a look around, but everyone's off in clusters, talking and laughing. I'm not sure where Dominic went, so I head out, proud that I stayed as long as I did.


On Tuesday, Mary Kay congratulates me on the great performance as she applies my makeup. "Just so you know, I voted for you last night."

"Really?"

She brushes a dusting of powder over my nose. "So, if one vote makes the difference, it'll be mine." 

I look at her reflection in the mirror. "You're the best." She swishes away my makeup cape and I'm off. 

My downtime is spent in my trailer reading a new book and trying not to think of going home now that I'm I finally having fun. I'm so distracted that I'm startled when there's a knock on my dressing room door, a first. 

"Chelsea, you in there?" Dominic calls.

"Come on in." I check the clock. Shit. I'm late.

Dominic pops his head in. "You coming? Cause I really don't want to walk out on the dance floor by myself."

"Sorry, I lost track of time." I glance in the mirror on my way out. Reading doesn't seem to have undone Mary Kay's work. I hustle alongside Dominic in my toe pinching heels, back to the studio.

"I had no idea they stuck you back here. Let me talk to someone and get you a closer trailer," he says.

"It's fine. I may not need it much longer."

"Yeah, while our scores were decent this time, we're still going to be in the bottom three." He grimaces. 

"I know. It's a bummer when we were finally starting to have fun." 

We bust through the studio doors and run to our spots for the intro. The results show flies by as Molly and Pavel perform the Encore Dance. Each week the judges select the best dance of the night for a redo. Next, there's a visiting troupe of dancers from Boston, and in between every big number Marcus lets more teams know if they're safe or in danger. As predicted, Dominic and I are in the bottom three.

When we get to those final minutes, and it's down to just us and body builder Dalton and his partner Natalie under the spotlight, I whisper to Dominic, "Sorry, I couldn't do better."

His arm is around my waist and he gives me a little squeeze. "Stop that. We're in this together." The countdown music plays. "Now smile and pretend you don't care."

And so I do, which seems like the main lesson I've learned here in Hollywood. Smile and never let anyone know how you really feel.

Marcus announces, "And the couple going home tonight is..."