Nova
“Damn, boo. Your tan is really poppin’. I’m a little jealous.”
The basketball game was over and won, Lamar inviting Guy and Jaxson to join him inside the locker room while Kaylin and I waited outside. But being away from them gave me the space I needed to really process all that had occurred, from the morning’s embarrassment to the afternoon of pure bliss at the beach and now an evening spent the way real families would, Jaxson nestled in the seat between us in the stands as we all shared a bag of popcorn and cheered on his Uncle Lamar.
I shouldn’t have been reading so deeply into the circumstances, it was purely a coincidence that we had gotten stuck together thanks to Kaylin and Lamar’s poor planning and were now making the most of the situation. But it felt as if I couldn’t help myself, Guy dropping sign after sign that he, maybe, felt the same way. Then again, it could’ve simply been part of his demeanor, part of the same ploy he used with every other woman he came across.
With that on my mind, it was easy to brush off Kaylin’s compliment. “Being out at the beach all day will do it to you.”
“Had a good time with your boys huh?” she asked teasingly, her eyes twinkling as if she was implying more than what she was verbalizing.
I attempted to shut down her twinkling eyes with my tightened ones when I warned, “Don’t start, Kay.”
She only shrugged, scrolling through her phone as she insisted, “I’m just sayin’. According to Guy’s Snapchat, you all had a really good time.”
“His Snapchat? I don’t follow him. What’d he post?” I asked, instantly becoming concerned since I couldn’t remember Guy even having his phone out.
She clicked on his profile before handing her phone to me so that I could watch his story. The first video was selfie style, Guy laying out on the beach towel as he said, “Out here beach bummin’ it with Young Jax. Say what’s up, son.” Turning the camera towards Jaxson as he gave a shy wave. The next was a picture of the sandcastles we had worked on with the caption, “#SandcastleGoals” going across the screen. And just when I thought things were innocent enough, there was a video of me as I made a slow stride up the sand from the water Baywatch style.
“Oh my God. I didn’t know he was really recording that,” I told her as I caught the heart-eyed emoji he had added to the corner.
Thankfully, my face was only slightly visible, though it was clear Kaylin knew exactly who it was as she gushed, “Slow motion and everything, girl. You looked like a fuckin’ goddess.”
I wanted to bask in her compliment, but the next picture didn’t give me a real chance as I gasped before whispering, “This fool…”
The picture was of me laying on my back as I worked to even out my tan, the position also lending itself to the perfect view of my ass that had obviously caught Guy’s attention considering the creep emoji eyes he had trailing down my back. And while I wanted to be offended that he was posting pictures like this without my permission, I couldn’t help but blush because… I really did look good.
As if I had thought him up, Guy and Jaxson emerged from the locker room with Lamar a few steps behind them making a beeline to his wife. And once he was close enough to me, I held the picture up to tease, “I don’t think your lady friends will be very happy about you posting my ass all on your Snapchat.”
He shrugged. “Well they better get over it. You looked way too good for me not to share with the masses. Should’ve put a “wish you were here” stamp on your cheeks.”
“Shut up!” I screeched through my giggles as I smacked a hand against his chest just as the lovebirds joined us.
Kaylin was tucked under her husband’s arm, but it was clear she was more interested in our business than her own as she gushed, “Glad you two are getting along so well.”
Guy nodded, holding Jax against his leg as he agreed. “For sure, Kay. Nova’s the homie. Even though she buried my kid in the sand earlier.”
“I told you it was an accident!” I shouted defensively, still a little embarrassed about how competitive I had gotten thanks to Guy’s teasing.
But it was clear he was still operating under the same guise when he replied, “I’m just messin’ with you, sweetheart.” Before turning his attention to Kaylin to ask, “Y’all coming out with us tonight?”
Instead of looking at him, she looked up at her husband to answer, “Lamar said it was boys only, so I’m gonna hang with my girl. But wait… if you’re going out and we’re going out, who’s gonna watch Jax?”
I immediately interjected, “We don’t… have to go out, Kay. Jax can stay at home with us. I’m exhausted from being in the sun all day anyway.”
Even though I was here to have the time of my life, partying it up on what had already been a full day sounded like punishment. Still, Guy seemed apprehensive when he asked, “Nova, you sure? I’m not tryna impose on your good time.”
Brushing him off, I insisted, “It’s fine. Really. Just be ready to extend the same courtesy.”
“You know I got you,” he replied with a wink that had my heart thumping through my ears.
But the moment thankfully didn’t last too long as Kay said, “Well… it’s settled then.” Turning her attention to the little one to ask, “Jax, should we get some ice cream on the way home?”
Of course Jaxson screeched with excitement as he peeled away from his father to take Kaylin’s hand. And as she tilted her head back to catch a quick kiss from Lamar, Guy and I were left in the awkward place of extending the same luxury of saying goodbye.
“I guess I’ll... see you later,” he said reaching out to give my hand a polite squeeze.
And even though just the simple act of our skin touching had me hot between the thighs, I tried to match it with a smile just as polite when I replied, “Yeah. See you. Have fun.”
“You too,” he added, reminding me that I was once again responsible for his child. But I felt myself minding even less than before as I watched him give his son a kiss goodbye before offering me another parting wink.
My eyes were glued to every inch of him as I watched him follow Lamar towards the exit, my ogling thankfully interrupted when Kaylin groaned, “Y’all are so damn hot for each other.”
I tried my best to play it off, turning to walk in the opposite direction towards the parking garage as I asked, “What are you talking about, Kay? I just told him to have fun.”
Of course she called my bluff. “Girl, I could’ve cut a slice out of that sexual tension and there still would’ve been plenty to go around.”
Since there was no use in denying the obvious, I casually continued my pursuit of the exit and added, “Which is exactly why he’s going to the strip club and I’m going home to Kofi. For appropriate distribution.”
Kaylin seemed a little too excited by my admittance, practically dragging Jaxson to catch up with me so she could see my face when she asked, “So you do feel something for him?”
“How could I not? I mean, he’s fine, he’s fine, and… did I forget to mention he’s fine?” I told her, trying to chuck it up to just his attractiveness even though I knew it was already feeling like more than that.
Apparently, I was wearing that exact thought on my face, giving Kay the ammunition to probe, “Nah, there’s more to this story than just his looks and you know it.”
I released a heavy sigh, my hands shoved in the pockets of my jacket as I leaned against the car and watched Kaylin secure Jaxson in his car seat while trying to find an explanation. But nothing that came to mind made any good sense, forcing me to respond, “He just… I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Well keep talking, sis,” she insisted as she made her way to the driver’s side and I climbed in the passenger’s.
Since her focus was on getting us out of the parking garage safely amongst the still-heavy game traffic, I was given more time to think, more time to formulate exactly why I was so attracted to Guy so quickly. But I suppose I must’ve been thinking a little too hard about it the way Kaylin had to make an obnoxious throat-clearing noise to break my concentration.
“I guess he just has a way of… making me feel good. You know, feel… better about myself. Feel giddy about the rest of this vacation, and life in general. And it’s not just because he’s always complimenting me or whatever. But it’s almost like he really sees me the way I should always see myself. Inside and out.”
Kaylin was unusually quiet, making me wonder had I even answered out loud until she finally replied, “Damn, Nova. That’s deep.”
I groaned, resting my head against the window. “I know. Which is exactly why I need to chill my ass out.”
Falling back from the person I saw on a daily, the person who was showing genuine interest in me wasn’t a task I was quite ready to take on, especially since I really wanted the exact opposite. I really wanted to capitalize on the signs of attraction Guy kept throwing my way, wanted to capitalize on each time he made my breathing pattern change, every embrace he wrapped me in, and every promising close call. But there was one person standing in the way, the same person on Kaylin’s mind when she asked, “I’m assuming this also means you’re finally ready to get rid of David?”
“Not like he cares either way…” I trailed with an annoyed shrug, still rightfully salty about his bullshit of a response to my picture; a response that completely contradicted the supply of heart-eyed emojis he had left in the comments for the public to see.
Of course Kaylin matched my annoyance, rolling her eyes as she insisted, “Nova, just break up with him. It’s really not that complicated.”
“But it is, Kay. It really is,” I replied, knowing that was the most I could say about it. But the truth was, David had been the only guy to show interest in me during one of the darkest periods of my life.
It was senior year, my final semester, a time that was supposed to be full of excitement for the future to come. But it was anything but as I slaved my way through working a full-time job while also student teaching, forced to pull together scraps so I could pay off the bill I owed the university that would allow me to graduate. The stress of it all had my face breaking out, my hair falling out to the point where I ended up cutting it, and none of my clothes fitting thanks to the shit ton of weight I had gained with no energy to do anything about it.
So while all of my friends - Kaylin included - were living it up and having the time of their lives, I was swirling deeper into a black hole of depression, struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel until the day I met him. David. The boy who was way too handsome to be talking to raggedy ol’ me.
At least that’s how I felt at the time.
Now, I wondered had that been part of my allure. The vulnerable ugly duckling he could turn into his own personal swan with a little attention and a few compliments. The one who would hold onto his every word like it was gospel and be way too grateful to simply be “his” to ever question his moves.
What started off as his plan to help me quickly turned into my personal mission to help myself, though me taking ownership was actually what seemed to bother him. The steadier I became with my gym regimen, the more fights he picked about not making enough time for him. When I decided to loc my hair, he was the first to complain about them looking “dirty”. And when I slowly began to revamp my wardrobe since the clothes that were once too tight were suddenly too loose, he was the one who never approved of my looks.
Him moving away for work had honestly lifted a weight off of my shoulders, had removed the burden that came with his lack of appreciation. But for whatever reason, I remained determined to make our relationship work, stayed committed to what we shared, continued to play the role of his woman. And maybe, in a way, I felt like I owed him that for jumpstarting my healing, even though his personal agenda was becoming clearer by the day - he wanted to control me.
The thought of it all made me sick, part of the reason I wasn’t ready to confront any parts of it. And I was grateful that Kaylin hadn’t pushed me for more, instead directing her energy towards keeping Jaxson happy as they chatted over the ice cream I no longer had the appetite for and decided on the movie I couldn’t pay attention to if I wanted.
I wasn’t sure when I had dozed off, but I gathered that I wasn’t alone in my slumber on the couch as I felt heavy hands scrape against my chest before a weight was lifted off of me.
My eyes cracked open just in time to see Guy tossing Jaxson over his shoulder as he whispered, “My bad. I was tryna snag him without waking you up.”
“What time is it?” I asked in my regular voice, peeking around for signs of an answer.
He glanced at his watch and replied, “A little after three.” Before taking off down the hallway towards Jaxson’s room, leaving me to gain my bearings.
The first thing I checked was my clothes to make sure everything was still in place, the camisole I had changed into before the movie still thankfully holding my finer parts in place and the sweatpants still sitting appropriately against my waist. And once that was established, I realized my throat was desert dry, prompting me to head to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
My first big gulp was already down by the time Guy emerged from the back, going straight to the cabinets to grab a glass of his own. And as he began to fill it with water from the sink, he said, “Thank you, Nova. For real, for real. Nothing like knowing my son is in the best of hands.”
I held the glass near my lips, leaning against the counter and watching him maneuver around the kitchen as I replied, “It’s not a problem. He’s such an easy kid. Never puts up a real fuss about anything with me.”
“Yeah, he definitely gets his cool vibes from his father,” he said with an arrogant grin as he leaned against the counter opposite of mine.
“I may actually agree with you on that,” I told him with a grin of my own before we fell into a comfortable silence.
Well… a mostly comfortable silence outside of the fact that my nipples were growing harder and harder the longer Guy stared at me. There was a haze in his eyes as if he had had plenty to drink while out with Lamar. But the haze was also making his expression especially sexy, especially… taunting.
As if he could read my thoughts, he slowly crossed the path that had been laid between us, stopping just short of crushing me against the counter when I asked, “Guy, what are you doing?”
“What I’ve been wanting to do since I saw you at the airport a few days back,” he answered as his free hand landed against my waist before he dipped his head to land a full kiss against my neck, eliciting a moan.
He knew exactly where to hit, exactly what to do, exactly how to use his lips to tease me in the worst way possible. And even though my mind told me not to engage, I couldn’t help myself as I melted into the counter once he moved his heavy hand from my waist to the nape of my neck to pull me closer to him.
“How much did you have to drink tonight?” I whispered, hoping maybe his response would justify his behavior.
But he didn’t give much away when he moved his kisses from my neck to my shoulder while answering, “I made it home safely and got my kid in the bed without droppin’ his heavy ass in the middle of the hallway. I’m good. I just… want you. Want this. And I know you do too.”
He was right.
He was so right considering the way I groaned his name as he dropped his glass on the counter before lifting me on top of it. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck as he stepped between my legs, pushing himself even closer for me to feel the weight of his dick against my thigh. But for whatever reason, when his fingers went to push the strap of my camisole down, I flinched. And Guy noticed to, releasing a heavy sigh as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against my shoulder with his hands straddling my thighs.
“I know, I know. I’m buggin’. You got a man. I shouldn’t be doin’ this. We shouldn’t be doin’ this, but… damn. Does it feel as right to you as it does to me?” he asked, lifting his head to meet my eyes as my thoughts collided with my feelings since he was right on both ends.
I did have a man and yet it did feel right to me.
Apparently I didn’t answer fast enough since he pulled away, returning to the opposite counter as he shook his head and groaned, “Damn. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” I asked, concerned that my lack of urgency had turned him off for good.
But it seemed to be more personal when he held his hand under his chin and replied, “I shouldn’t have pressed you like that. I’m sorry. My bad. I’m trippin’.”
I hopped down from the counter to meet him, pulling his hand away from his face so I could tell him, “Guy, relax. I… I wanted you too. I want you too. But I can’t… we just can’t... do this.”
“Because of him?” he asked, the pressure of his piqued eyebrow enough to make me squirm.
While I might’ve thought that was where my issue lied, the truth was, “Because of me. I need to… sort some things out, get some things in order, figure out what it is that I really want.”
“You just told me what you wanted, Nova. And I didn’t detect any lies,” he replied, wrapping me in another embrace as he looked down at me and licked his lips.
The heat of his gaze was almost enough to change my mind, giving me goosebumps since I knew it would only take a little bend in his neck to give me the kiss I was longing for; the kiss that I knew would lead to so much more. But since I also knew that was just a disaster waiting to happen until I got my shit together, I stepped away, needing the space to think clearly when I replied, “I know, but… that’s sex-deprived Nova talking. And she shouldn’t have any say in this.”
Truth be told, if it was up to her, this would’ve been over and done with. I more than likely would’ve been rushing to tuck his son into bed night after night so I could make use of everything Daddy was working with and not give a damn what anybody thought about it. But sensible, logical Nova knew better. Sensible, logical Nova knew she had a chapter to close before starting anything new, and knew she had to be ready if that something new was going to be a summer… fling.
Thankfully, Guy seemed fine with that answer, his little grin turning into more of a sexy smirk as he retrieved the glass he had abandoned on the counter. And as he took off towards the hallway, he stopped just short to make things crystal clear.
“Well I’m watching you, sweetheart. And trust and believe, I’ll be more than ready when you are.”