Nova
“So…”
“So…”
“Any updates?” Kaylin asked over the rim of her martini glass, the heavy bass throughout the club forcing her to raise her voice so that I could actually hear her. It was our first time hitting the scene together since I had been in town and she had gone all out, having a personal stylist pull outfits for us to wear, getting us a makeup and hair team for glam, a VIP section with bottle service; the whole nine. But now I knew that was all just a part of her ploy to get more details about whatever was happening between Guy and I, something I really couldn’t speak on since I didn’t quite understand it myself.
I suppose he had made his intentions clear, giving me the space to figure things out like he promised. But it almost seemed as if he had fallen back a little too hard, making me wonder was he still even interested in the things he had brought up before - interested in me.
It had been more than a week since his official declaration, and now the slick little comments he always seemed to have were no longer, the heart-stopping glances he shot my way were few and far between, and he hadn’t pressed me at all for updates about my relationship with David.
Honestly, I couldn’t blame him. There was a city full of beautiful, baggage-free women for him to choose from, so it didn’t make sense to continue chasing after me. But I wished it hadn’t been so easy for him to do, though I really only had myself to fault for not urgently establishing the clarity I had insisted on; the reason he was giving me space in the first place.
Just the thought put me in a slight funk, offering Kaylin a shrug when I shouted back, “Nothing worth sharing!”
The response wasn’t as convincing as I imagined, the disbelief apparent in her expression as she gushed, “Come on, Nova. There’s gotta be something brewing between you two by now.”
“According to the schedule of your plan to set us up?” I asked, my eyebrow piqued as I tried to get her to admit her role in all of this.
But she held strong, only the slightest smirk on her face as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and replied, “No. According to the way he keeps looking over here like he can’t wait to get you back to the condo. I mean, you must’ve given him a reason to be checking for you so tough.”
I didn’t understand what she was talking about until she nodded forward towards where the bouncer was standing, engaged in a conversation with Lamar and Guy who I didn’t realize would be joining us. And while it was usually Lamar stealing all of the attention with his height, my eyes were stuck on Guy who looked way too good to be out in public. I mean, how dare he show up to the club looking good enough to have me finishing off my drink in one gulp?
Of course he always looked good around the house, usually in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. But tonight, he looked… like a one-night stand waiting to happen.
I tried to shake it off, turning my attention back to Kaylin to finally reply, “I didn’t do anything!”
“Yet. You didn’t do anything yet,” she corrected with a knowing smile.
“Don’t you have your own ogling man to worry about?” I asked, trying to take the spotlight off of me as Lamar and Guy approached us, Lamar’s eyes twinkling with adoration for his wife as if it was the first time he had laid eyes on her.
Kaylin matched his adoring look, her eyebrow raised as if she already knew what game he was going to play when he announced, “Ladies. I see your drinks are getting low. Can me and my patna here pour you another? And maybe get a little dance to go along with it?”
“Of course, handsome. How about that dance first?” Kaylin asked as she smoothed a hand down her dress, earning a low, appreciative whistle from her husband before he guided her out towards the dance floor.
I was so in awe at their love that I almost forgot I had my own situation waiting on me until he asked, “You game, Nova?”
For whatever reason, the question made me uneasy as if I wasn’t expecting it. But I suppose it was simply the idea of being close to him that had me jittery, my voice shaky when I answered, “Uh… Yeah. Sure.”
He offered me a smile as he extended his hand my way, capturing mine before leading us out towards the dance floor, a few paces away from Kaylin and Lamar. But you would’ve thought they were the only two in the club the way they were so enamored with each other, not even acknowledging us joining them. Or maybe I was just a little too into their business instead of focusing on my own, that made even more apparent when Guy said, “It’s okay to look at me, Nova. I promise I’m not gonna bite you.”
Even though I knew he was only joking, just the mention of his mouth against my skin made me shiver, bringing on all sorts of erotic thoughts. In fact, the song, “Love in this Club” by Usher was practically playing on loop in my head, so much so that I thought it was also playing out loud. But it wasn’t, whatever song that had been playing mixed with a song much slower in, “The Weekend” by SZA.
While the lyrics were a little questionable, the sensuality of the beat always did something to me, my eyes avoiding Guy’s wishes to look at him and deciding to close instead as I grinded in his hold.
“Oh, that’s how you doin’ it?” Guy asked, a hint of amusement in his voice as he matched my groove before flipping me around so that my ass was against him, the new position only making me grind even harder as I brushed my ass against his strong thighs and everything in between.
Clearly I wasn’t the only one feeling the moment.
The DJ must’ve been on a roll when it came to slow jams as that song was mixed out for another one equally slow, equally sensual, “Freak in You” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Guy draped an arm against my waist as we continued our easy groove, the lyrics catching my attention as the artist sang, “This time is your time… I need to know if you're down… 'Cause if not, I know there's more around…”
I could pretty much assume that was exactly where Guy stood, no matter how much attention he was paying me in the moment. If I didn’t make my move, he was going to move on, had to move on. But then the artist continued into the chorus, “There’s a room full of beautiful women but I want one…” and with perfect timing, Guy’s lips were against my bare shoulder, giving the slightest graze with his teeth on my blade to let me know he was there, to claim me as his for the night, to clue me in on exactly what our plans were going forward since I apparently wasn’t moving fast enough. And I was more than ready, more than thrilled about finally seeing what he was all about in the bedroom, or wherever we’d end up.
I was already wondering how private the balcony was when I heard a familiar voice say my name. The liquor I had downed earlier had my reaction time slower than reasonable, allowing me to continue grooving to the music for a few beats until I heard my name again paired with Guy releasing me from his hold.
The cold rush of air that came in when Guy pulled away almost made me angry since I didn’t understand why he had done it. But then I heard that voice speak again. “So it’s like that?”
Wait…
“David? What are you... doing here?” I asked frantically, more confused than anything since he had supposedly been on the other side of the country just a few hours earlier according to his Snapchat posts.
His smirk was annoyingly arrogant as he reached out for my wrist, pulling me towards him as he replied, “I can’t come visit my wifey on her little girl’s trip?”
My face scrunched. “Wifey? How did you even know where I was at?”
While David knew where I was geographically, him showing up to the same club as me was almost too coincidental. But it made sense once he explained, “Well the plan was to surprise you some time tomorrow. Then I saw all these club videos on Kaylin’s Snapchat, so I decided to just… show up.”
There was a lot of irony in him watching Kaylin’s Snapchat even though he claimed to hate her. But I assumed that was his way of keeping tabs on me the same way I still, for whatever reason, found myself keeping tabs on him.
He gave me an appreciative glance, licking his lips as he continued, “You lookin’ good, baby. Real good. Miami must be treatin’ you well.”
“Yeah. It is,” I replied shortly, looking around the crowd for Guy who was suddenly nowhere to be found.
Kaylin and Lamar were missing in action too, forcing me to continue an interaction that was beyond awkward; at least to me. David, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed by the circumstances, giving my wrist another tug as he asked, “So what’s up? You tryna get out of here? I got a room for us down at the Fontainebleau. Maybe we can catch up on lost time, make up the right way.”
An arrogance I used to find attractive only made me roll my eyes. “David, you’ve been ghost since I’ve been down here. And hell, even before then. Now you show up on my trip unannounced, and I’m just supposed to, what? Run off to some hotel room with you so we can fuck?”
“Uh… yeah. Ain’t that what couples do when they missed each other?” he asked as if there was no validity to my point.
In an attempt to make myself clear, I crossed my arms defiantly and fired back, “Who said I missed you?”
He brushed me off, pulling my arms apart as he gushed, “Well I missed you, baby. Doesn’t that count for something?”
The words that used to make me weak in the knees only made me more angry as I snapped, “Missed me by making kissy faces with other bitches for the last few months? That’s not how this works.”
“Yet you steady in here making kissy faces at other niggas,” he challenged as if he already knew there was more to whatever he saw when he approached Guy and I dancing.
But the truth was, the only reason I could engage in something so intimate with Guy was because, “I don’t miss you, David. I don’t miss… this. Any of it. Not anymore.”
I could remember the nights I would cry myself to sleep because I couldn’t figure out how to make David love me harder, couldn’t figure out why he despised what I saw as self-improvement and what it was that he found in other women that he couldn’t seem to find in me. I could remember trying new things I thought would make him happy, only to be shot down and embarrassed time and time again. I could remember being faced with the realness of his infidelities, only to have him deny it long enough for me to get over it.
But the more I interacted with Guy, the more he appreciated me for the person I already was instead of the person he pretended he wanted me to be, the more I realized just how detrimental my relationship with David had been.
There had never been anything loving about it.
As usual, he only downplayed my words, tugging at me again as he insisted, “Come on, Nova. I know you in your feelings, but let’s just… get out of here. So we can talk.”
I snatched away. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He chewed at the inside of his lip as if my combativeness was irritating him which was honestly the goal. Still, he found it in him to suggest, “Nova, quit making a scene. We need to talk this out.”
“The only thing I need to do is tell you this “relationship” is officially dead. I really don’t even know why you wasted the time coming out here.”
While the gesture might’ve meant something early on, I was far too removed - and thankfully so - to not see it for exactly what it was; an effort to restore the control he knew was slipping away. But now that it was becoming more obvious to him that that wasn’t going to happen, he went into offense mode as he groaned, “Wow. This nigga must really be pumpin’ your head up if you talkin’ shit like this. You know you ain’t shit without me, girl. I made you.”
My head snapped back as I repeated, “Made me? The only thing you made me was more insecure about the things I should’ve always loved about myself! The only thing you made me do was question myself, question my instincts, question my worth! You emptied me, David! I was already giving you everything I had, and you still had to drain every last drop while giving the minimal in return! You ain’t sh…”
A tiny arm that was a lot stronger than it looked wrapped around my waist to pull me back just as I was jabbing a finger David’s way. “Nova, calm down, boo. He doesn’t deserve your energy,” Kaylin stated as calmly as possible as she dragged me through the crowd towards the bathrooms.
Even though we had cleared most of the people standing around us, I was still angry enough to shout, “No, fuck that! He needs to hear this!”
I wanted him to hear every word of my wrath, wanted him to watch me shed every angry tear over his stupid, undeserving ass. But I was also grateful that Kaylin had saved me from making a complete fool of myself, damn near throwing me into the bathroom before locking the door behind us.
My anger didn’t allow me to stay still, pacing back and forth in front of the line of sinks as I rattled, “I look way too cute tonight for this shit. I can’t believe I let him get me that mad. And in public too.”
Kaylin was still calm and quiet, resting with her back against the door as she replied, “I… can’t either. I’ve never seen you so passionate, especially with him.”
The reason behind it all stopped me dead in my tracks as I explained, “He said he made me, Kay. He made me. And I know he really believes that shit too.”
I was grateful to see she was just as surprised by his comments, her eyes wide when she replied, “Oh wow. His bitch ass has always been a bold one. But you know what? You kind of needed that cleansing, sis. You know, so you can really move forward now. And I’m not just talking about Guy like you’re probably thinking. I just… you’ve been holding onto that toxic energy for so long that you deserve to finally get it out of you. So you can breathe again.”
Her words had me doing exactly that, releasing a heavy breath just as someone began to knock on the door. I assumed it was a woman who needed to use the bathroom until I heard Lamar’s booming voice ask, “Yo, y’all good in there?”
Kaylin’s eyes shot back my way as if to ask me the same question. And after taking a quick peek at my face in the mirror to make sure my makeup was still intact, I gave her the nod she was waiting on to open the door, releasing another sigh once I laid eyes on Lamar who looked legitimately concerned and Guy who looked… indifferent.
While I wasn’t sure how much of the fallout he had seen, I could only imagine what he was thinking now that he was at least a little versed on the situation. And considering he had been right there when David showed up in the first place, I had a feeling that was all he needed to see to go back into the shell he had been in for the past week and change; exactly what I didn’t want.
But before I could really address anything, Lamar said, “Cas, I thought I was about to be in here throwing hands for your ass. That nigga must’ve really said something slick to have you of all people snapping back like that.”
I nodded, still a little embarrassed by it all as I told him, “He did. But I’m glad you didn’t throw hands. Like your wife said, he doesn’t deserve that energy.”
Lamar wrapped a proud arm around Kaylin’s shoulder, bending to give her a kiss on the forehead before leading us back through the crowd towards our section. But the whole time, I couldn’t help but notice how quiet Guy was, as if the whole thing really had him lost for words.
And maybe he was. Maybe he didn’t understand what it was that I could’ve ever saw in David. Maybe he had already identified the stark differences between the two of them and decided my taste didn’t align with his existence. Or maybe seeing me out of character had him shook, turned off now that he knew there was some underlying crazy.
Instead of worrying about him, I poured myself another drink, hoping it would bring me the relief I was desperate for. A little alcohol plus a few rounds with Trevante later would just have to do the trick.