DAVID
Up until today, barn sex sounded like the dirtiest, stickiest, smelliest way to grab a quickie. After today, it ranks right up there with sex on a back porch while drinking Shiraz off a woman's body.
I pick a strand of hay out of Michelle's hair. "So, it's not quite sex with goats, but they were within earshot. I hope that's enough to satisfy your weird livestock fetish."
Michelle's eyes widen and her jaw drops. Her shocked look is the most adorable thing I've ever seen, which is exactly why I plan to find more and more ways to shock her.
"I do not have an animal fetish, thank you very much." She covers her mouth with both hands and widens her eyes. "Was I that loud?" she whispers through her fingers. "I tried so hard to stay quiet, but you don't make it easy."
"I don't think everybody heard. I mean, Colton's trailer is really far away."
"You're messing with me, aren't you?" A pink flush flares across her cheeks. "You have to be messing with me."
I shrug. "Go right ahead and tell yourself whatever you need to feel better about it." I would keep teasing her about this all day if her adorable look of shock wasn't mutating into horror in front of my eyes.
Shit. I only want to help her stop taking everything so seriously. I don’t want to traumatize her while I’m doing it.
"I'm kidding." I brush her hair back off her forehead. "I just like to mess with you, but it's not worth if it doesn't make you laugh."
Michelle lets out a long breath. "I know you like to joke around, but you can't tease me about stuff like that. I was starting to wonder how I'd ever be able to look your mom or my daughter in the eyes again."
"I'm sure you'd move past it in time." I laugh and take her hand, drawing her towards me.
"You're something else, you know that?" Michelle slides her hands under my T-shirt and lightly draws her nails across my skin.
"Of course I know it." I give her my most charming smile. “And I'm glad to hear you're figuring it out, too."
* * *
We spend the rest of the day getting her house put back together and the next couple days go smoothly as we work our way into an odd rhythm. Michelle's work schedule keeps her out late, and she and Claire don't come back to the farm until after ten most nights. Claire goes straight to bed and Michelle takes some time to wind down before she climbs into bed with me. I pretend to sleep through it, but even though she’s quiet, I wake up almost every time. I don't mind, though. I love having her stretched out beside me. Still mostly asleep myself, I listen as her breathing slows and I send a silent thank you out to whoever's listening before I drift off again. Michelle is a gift that I will not take for granted, and whether it’s God or the universe or some other mystical deity, I want them all to feel my gratitude.
My alarm goes off way too early to expect her to crawl out of bed with me, let alone help around the farm. But day after day, she shows up an hour or two after sunrise and works diligently at whatever task she pressures me into giving her. I'd love for her to sit and relax away the day until she leaves for work, but she insists she feels better in motion. Sometimes Claire comes along, or sometimes Mom asks to spend the day with her. Either way, I'm realizing just how much I like having them around.
Today is one of those fantastic mornings where the sun is bright and the humidity is low. It's a great day to check on the orchard and the pond, which gives me a great excuse to break out one of my favorite toys—my Raptor 700R SE, a four-wheeler I bought myself last year. Dad gives me hell because it's not designed for farm work, and he's right, even though I'd never admit that to him. He thinks I should have the heavy-duty Honda Rancher like he's had for as long as I can remember, but given the choice between going fast or being heavy duty, I'll choose speed every time. What is life if you can't break the rules and enjoy the hell out of it every now and then?
As I speed up the gravel drive towards the house, Michelle steps out on the porch, coffee in hand, shielding her eyes against the sun. She sees me coming and smiles, so I lay on the throttle and send a spray of dust and rocks shooting out behind me. The backend fishtails then gets traction. I come roaring up to stop in front of her.
"Good morning to you, too." She laughs, her eyes sparkling with humor.
"It was a fine enough morning, but it just got a whole lot better." I kill the engine so we don't have to yell to be heard and sit back. "You ever been on one of these things?"
Michelle shakes her head. "Nope."
"You want to?"
Her eyes go wide and I swear she's about to say no when she surprises me. "Sure."
"Really?"
She nods. "Yeah." She takes a long drink of her coffee and then lifts the mug. "Just let me put this away."
She disappears inside the house and reappears a few seconds later, a nervous smile tightening her eyes. I shift on the seat and pat the space behind me. "Climb on up," I say, and then offer her my hand.
She gets herself situated, shifting until she's comfortable. "Is there anything I need to know?" she asks, leaning around so she can look me in the eyes.
"Just hold on and don't let go." And with that, I bring the engine to life.
She wraps her arms around me and I pull them tighter, clasping her hands together so there's no doubt in my mind she's safe. Just to give her a taste of what's she's in for, I tap the throttle and we lurch forward. Michelle yelps and then tightens her grip, smashing herself against my back.
"You all set?" I ask.
"You better believe it."
I hit the gas, launching us towards the orchard because I know it used to be her favorite place. The wind whips past my ears, flinging my hair back off my face. I love this. My hand on the throttle. The roar of the engine. The trees blurring into one single line. Behind me, Michelle laughs and squeals as we whip past the long succession of trees. When we burst through the line at the other end of the orchard, I stop.
"You okay back there?"
Michelle leans forward. "How have I never done this before? I love it!"
"I had a feeling you would." I'm starting to understand that locked somewhere deep under all her manners and politeness, Michelle has a wild streak raked across her soul. She thinks she's afraid of the world, but I think she’s afraid of what might happen if she lets go. "You want to drive?" I ask.
"Who? Me?"
I spin so I can see her face. "No, silly. The guy in the trees."
She rolls her eyes, pretending to be exasperated. "You're kind of a sarcastic ass. Did you know that?" she asks and then gives my arm a squeeze. "Do you think I can?"
"Of course you can. Why couldn't you?"
She thinks about it for a second. "I don't know. I guess there isn't a reason why I can't."
"Exactly. The real question is, do you want to?"
She mulls it over. "Yes." She bites her bottom lip, draws her eyebrows together, and then nods. "I think I want to."
I chuckle. "That's not the most definitive of answers, but I’ll take what I can get."
I help her off and show her how to operate the clutch, the brake, and the throttle. "And you move these things to avoid hitting even bigger things." I swivel the handlebar back and forth.
"That's it?" she asks.
"That's it."
She climbs up into the driver’s seat and I talk her through everything one more time, letting her learn through touch and experience. She works the clutch and cycles through the gears without any trouble.
"All that's left is for you to crank the engine and get us moving."
Michelle brings the four-wheeler to life and drops it in gear.
"Go easy on the throttle until you're used to it." I wrap my arms around her. "But go ahead and take us back to the house."
She pushes on the gas and the four-wheeler creeps forward.
"Maybe not that easy." I laugh. “The trick is to respect it without being afraid of it.”
Michelle takes a long breath in and lets it out slowly before giving the four-wheeler enough gas to pick up speed. "Like that?" she calls out as we motor through the trees.
"You're doing great!" I press my lips just behind her ear as she shifts into the next gear. Emboldened by the encouragement, Michelle pushes us even faster, handling the machine with more and more confidence. By the time we pull up in front of the house, she's grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh my gosh, that was so much fun," she says, as I climb off the seat behind her. Her eyes are bright and her hair is wild. Excitement brought color into her cheeks, and then there’s that grin. My God, that grin. She's free and unfettered and so unapologetically happy that it makes me want to give her a million reasons to look just like this, day after day after day.
"I need to go out to the pond," I say. "Dad's four-wheeler is in the barn. Want to make a picnic and take Claire out to see the water? I'll take Dad's Rancher and she can ride with me. She's small enough that she can ride in front and I promise she’ll be completely safe.”
The smile on Michelle's face softens and her eyes hold mine. "I'd like that a lot."
"Me too." I'm surprised by how much I mean it. I didn't think life could get better than it already was. But now, with her here sharing my life? I wake up thanking God every day for the happiness she brings me. "You find Claire and I'll get Dad's Rancher ready, then we'll pack up some snacks together. Sound good?"
"Sounds good." Michelle climbs off the four-wheeler and heads into the house, pausing as she swings open the front door. "I still expect this thing to squeak when I pull it open," she says and then disappears into the house.