MICHELLE
I push through the heavy wooden doors of Smitty's about twenty minutes late for my standing date with my two best friends. It was a long day at work and neither Claire nor I had much energy left when we got home. We both needed a little time to decompress before we got up and moving again. As much as I need the grownup time with my friends, guilt thrums through me as I scour the place for Lexi and Bailey.
Claire is at Mom's for the night. After Claire spent the whole day at the studio, entertaining herself with her books and toys while I worked away a beautiful Saturday afternoon, I try to console myself with the knowledge that she's having a good time with her grandma, but a big part of me that would like to join in on that good time. All I do is tell Claire she can't have something she wants, or to be quiet, or worse—I have to make her do something she doesn't want to do. Add the guilt over leaving her with Mom to the fact that I can't really justify spending money on drinks, and there are a lot of times that I wonder if I should just duck out of the bi-weekly date with my friends.
Except for one little thing, one thing that keeps me coming back to Smitty’s, even when there are plenty of reasons to cancel. When I was married to Russell, all of my friendships fell to pieces because he kept me at home, locked in a cage built from his insecurities. None of the people who loved me before my marriage loved me after it. Each and every friend I had slowly faded to black, disappearing behind the mountain of excuses I made each time they invited me out and I turned them down. The night he moved out, I promised myself I wouldn't let my life disappear ever again.
I’d joined a single mom's group and met Lexi, who had introduced me to Bailey. And so here I am, happy to spend time with my friends and sad not to be with my daughter. Bailey catches my attention, waving at me from a table in the middle of the bar. I smile in return and make my way to them.
"There you are." She frowns up at me. "We were just starting to wonder if you were about to stand us up."
"I wouldn't dream of it." I pull out a chair and take a seat, the regret over still wondering if I should call off our outings wandering through my smile.
"Don't listen to her," says Lexi, sitting back and gesturing towards Bailey. "Bay is all kinds of grumpy because her super amazing fiancé has her house torn apart and is a little behind schedule in getting it put back together again."
"A little?" Bailey leans forward. "I love the man to pieces. To pieces. But if he can't figure out how to build me a working bathroom by the end of the weekend, I might have to call off the wedding." She laughs, way too happy in love to be serious.
"Right." I roll my eyes and bob my head. "Because we all totally believe that's a thing that might really happen." I pull my hair over my shoulders and play with the ends. "So what are you guys drinking tonight?"
Bailey holds up a bottle of Bud Light. "Beer for me."
"I'm going crazy with a Coke." Lexi’s eyes harden as she forces a smile. Last year was a rough one for her and she hasn't had much to drink since. "Consider me your designated driver. You guys are free to go as crazy as you want."
"You know Michelle's going to order one beer and nurse it the whole night." Bailey chuckles and rolls her eyes. "And I'm not going to get drunk all by my lonesome."
Lexi swirls her straw, the ice clinking against the glass, and then turns to me, a devilish look glinting in her eyes. "You should go crazy, Michelle. You keep yourself on such a tight leash and you need to let loose. Hell, everyone needs to once in a while. I'm here to drive you home safe. Claire's at your mom's. Why not order something with a little more punch than a beer? And preferably more than one. Get stupid drunk with Bailey so I can laugh at the two of you for the rest of the night."
"I fully support this idea." Bailey rubs her hands together and grins at me. "Your adorable factor multiplies by about a million when you’re drunk, and heaven knows I'm ready to blow off some steam after a week in a house with zero working bathrooms."
I haven't told either of my friends how hard my finances are right now. They're amazing women and the very first thing they would want to do is help, which is the reason I haven't said anything. I absolutely, one-hundred percent, do not want to be a burden on anyone. Marrying Russell was a terrible idea but I did it anyway, fooled into complacency by some strange combination of idealistic faith and a certainty that his needs outweighed mine. It's bad enough that Claire has to suffer through the consequences of my actions. I have zero desire to make my friends shoulder the weight of my choices, too.
I shrug. "I don't know..." I say and then glance at Lexi, hoping to find some help there.
The look in her eyes proves I won’t find safe harbor with her. The last thing I want to do is disappoint them, but I shouldn't even order one beer, let alone several. Just when I think I'm going to have to get really honest, really fast with my friends, salvation walks by in the shape of someone tall, dark, and achingly familiar.
"Well, hey there. Look who it is." The man from the animal shelter yesterday afternoon pauses at our table and unleashes his perfect smile on me and my friends. Nerves flutter in my belly as he leans down to rest his hands on the table beside me, his triceps flexing under the tight fabric of his T-shirt. "It's David," he says when I don't immediately respond. "From yesterday at the animal shelter."
"Oh, I remember," I say, forcing myself to breathe.
"Well, that's a relief. I would be crushed if you said otherwise." David shifts, getting even closer to me and stealing every last ounce of oxygen from the room. "You can tell your little girl that Mouse is all settled in and having a great first day of freedom."
"Oh yeah? She'll be so glad to hear that." I look down at the table, desperate to break eye contact, only to immediately miss the connection between us. Damn it. The last thing I need in my life is sexual tension. My plate is overflowing as it is.
"Ummm. Hi." Lexi extends a hand across the table. "I'm Lexi and this is Bailey." She jerks her head towards our friend and then gives me a look, one that surely means trouble.
He straightens to take her hand. "I'm David," he says with a warm smile. "Michelle and I met yesterday afternoon, and we hit it off so well she decided to start stalking me."
"Me? Stalking you?" I laugh as I widen my eyes. "I was here first, my friend. In what world does that make me the stalker?"
"Nice try, but I've been here with my brother for the last hour." He indicates a guy sitting at a table near the back of the bar who lifts a hand in greeting. "Which means I was here first. And when you think about it, I was at the animal shelter first, too. You can't miss it when you look at the facts." He glances at Bailey and jerks a thumb my way. "She's totally stalking me."
Bailey sips her beer, eyeing David thoughtfully. "I don't know. Michelle isn't exactly stalker material."
He laughs and my toes tingle. Damn it. I am not supposed to get all tingly over strange men. I swore off anything with a penis the second I left Russell.
"Isn't that what they always say? When they interview the neighbors after someone finds one of those shrines in a backyard? The ones with a million pictures and a lock of someone’s hair? No one ever sees it coming." He winks at me and my cheeks ignite. "It was nice seeing you again," he continues without missing a beat. "I assume I should expect to run into you again soon."
I manage a weak laugh paired with a squeaky goodbye that I hope sounds effortlessly easy and breezy before he turns and saunters away. I stare after him, my attention stolen by the broad, straight line of the shoulders that taper down to a slim waist. He's got my favorite body type, with a torso that look like an upside-down triangle and an ass that makes those jeans look fucking magnificent.
"What the hell was that all about?" Bailey leans forward only to pause as a waitress approaches. "She'll have whatever you have on draft. The cheaper the better," Bailey says to the waitress before giving me her full attention.
"She knows me well," I say, smiling at the confused girl in the Smitty's shirt.
"Apparently not that well," mutters Bailey, lifting her eyebrows and sitting forward as the waitress heads towards the bar to put in the order for my beer. "Who was that guy?"
Lexi also leans forward, licking her lips in anticipation of some juicy secret I don't have to give her. "Yeah, Michelle. Spill it. Who is that Mr. Wonderful sitting in the back of the bar with the hottie in the baseball hat?"
"He's just some guy I met at the animal shelter yesterday." I go for nonchalant but miss by a mile.
"Right." Bailey shakes her head. "I believe that, like, not at all."
"No, but really." I pause as our waitress arrives with my drink. "I took Claire to the shelter to play with the cats yesterday and he was in there."
"And fireworks exploded and it was love at first sight." Bailey sits up straighter in her seat, wiggling her shoulders and smiling, already planning our wedding.
"No, nothing like that." I glance back at David who just happens to be glancing at me. He smiles and I return it as my friends gape at the entire exchange with wide eyes and dropped jaws
"Sure." Lexi gives me a look that means she knows I'm full of shit. "That's what I saw happen right there. Nothing at all. Isn't that what you saw, Bay?"
Bailey nods knowingly. "Oh yes. That was absolutely, hands down, beyond a shadow of a doubt, nothing at all."
I hide my embarrassment by sipping my beer.
"You're so cute when you're embarrassed," says Lexi, grinning even harder when I choke a little. My cheeks and neck are on fire. Damn my fair skin for holding up a bright pink flag any time I'm even a little off my game.
"What if she just met her happily-ever-after?" A dreamy look floats through Bailey's eyes, all unicorns and glitter and rainbows that end in pots of gold. "Just like that." She snaps her fingers. "An innocent trip to the animal shelter sends her life onto a totally different path."
"Maybe," Lexi says, cringing. "But don't forget. That totally different path might end up being a bad thing. Not everyone gets a prince, Bay."
Bailey opens her mouth to argue, but closes it again right after. "I know you guys have had your fair share of heartbreak, but I promise you, true love is worth waiting for." Bailey looks so blissfully happy all Lexi and I can do is laugh.
"What?" she asks, her gaze bouncing between the two of us.
"True love is worth waiting for." Lexi puts a hand to her chest and sighs, mimicking Bailey in a girly tone. "I've got Gabe," she says, talking about her five-year-old son. "I think that's all the true love I'm ever going to need."
Bailey turns to me. "I'm just sayin'. That guy? What's his name?"
"David," I say, glancing back at him. He meets my eyes, smiles, and then gives his attention back to his brother.
"She's a lost cause for sure." Lexi rolls her eyes and chews on her straw.
"Whatever." I square my shoulders and lift my chin, making it as clear as I can that I am not looking back towards the Carmichael brothers. My years with Russell taught me everything about what being in a relationship is like. I give too much of myself and even when I'm with a decent person, I end up a little lost and a lot taken advantage of. But my ex-husband took things to a whole new level. I never, ever want back in a situation like that again. If that's what a relationship is, I want nothing to do with it.
Besides, my life is an utter train wreck right now. It would be selfish of me to unleash it on someone else. I don't care how handsome David is, or how bright his smile, or how well he treats my daughter. He might truly be worthy of the nickname Mr. Wonderful, but the timing is all wrong. I adjust my seat so he's not in my direct line of sight and don't look his way again for the rest of the night.