Chapter Fourteen
Nick
I find Dan out the back of the boat, leaning against the railing, looking like he wants to jump—or more likely, thinking about throwing me overboard. I stand there for a moment before I approach him. When I do, I immediately regret it. He turns around and glares at me, the anger radiating from him enough to scare me from moving any closer.
“What the hell do you want, Nick?” he growls. “You’ve got nerve, coming out here after what you’ve done. I encouraged you to get back out there, but not with my fucking daughter.”
“I didn't mean for this to happen,” I say quietly.
“You didn’t mean for it to happen?” he repeats. He shakes his head and laughs. “Well, that’s okay, then.” He glares at me. “You think it makes a difference whether you meant it or not? Are you planning on stopping it now that I know?”
I frown, not answering his question. He’s angry, but my own anger is starting to take control. She’s his daughter. I get it. But she’s a fucking adult, and it’s about time he treated her like one.
“I didn’t think so,” he mutters, nearly spitting the words at me. “So, how the hell did this all start, then? Are you going to tell me that?” he asks.
I stare at him, annoyed that he’s asking me questions that he knows is only going to inflate his anger.
“Nick? I asked you a fucking question,” he yells at me. “Was this when I sent her over to help you or were you already fucking her by then?”
“Please stop saying that,” I frown. There’s an edge to my voice that is growing sharper by the second. “She’s still your daughter, Dan. No matter how angry you are—”
“You were supposed to be my friend. Do you have any idea how this makes me feel?” he asks, taking a step towards me.
“I didn't mean for this to happen,” I say again.
I wince because what I meant was I didn’t mean for him to find out like this. The way I worded it makes it sound like I’m sorry it happened at all.
“So, you accidently fucked her, then?” Dan asks. He laughs at my silence. “You just fell into her? Tripped over that fat cock of yours that I keep hearing so much about?”
“There’s no need to be an asshole about it,” I growl. The way he’s speaking about Anna is really pissing me off. He’s allowed to be annoyed at us for lying to him, but that’s it. There’s annoyed, and then there’s this. I’m not going to sit here and listen to him talk like that about her.
“Really? Because I see plenty of reason to be an asshole about it.” He gets so close that he’s in my face, almost begging me to react. “I thought I raised my daughter better than to slut around with my friends.”
That’s it. I lose my shit and swing at his face, my fist smacking him in the jaw. He stumbles back, laughing, his eyes burning with anger. I’ve never seen him so full of hate. I know I’ve made things worse, but I was fucked if he was going to talk about her like that. His own daughter.
“All I want you to do is show some respect to Anna,” I say. I take a step back, my hands shaking. “I’m sorry you found out like this, Dan. But I’m not sorry I’m with her, and I’m not sorry that you raised your daughter to be such an amazing woman.”
He lunges at me and grabs hold of the front of my shirt.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he growls. “Respect? You want me to respect her? What the hell have you been doing? Were you respecting her when you were taking advantage of her?”
Advantage of her? Is that really how this looks? I shake my head, wishing I could make him see sense. She’s twenty-two, and I’m thirty-seven. It’s not like she’s fifteen and I pressured her into sleeping with me.
He takes a hard swing at me. I groan as his fist connects with the side of my face. Pain sears through me, but I stand there and take it because it's better that he takes it out on me than on her. Every punch I take is worth it if it gets him closer to accepting us and if it makes her feel less guilty about being with me. Because at the end of the day, the only person I care about—aside from my kids—is her.
The punches are coming harder and faster until I'm on the ground and he’s standing over me. He loads a kick into my stomach, and then another until I no longer feel anything.
“What the hell are you doing?” Anna’s voice sounds distant like she’s under the boat and in the water. At least the kicking has stopped—even if it’s only for a moment. I close my eyes, my head spinning, and try to make out what they’re saying.
“…kids are watching, for Christ’s sake…”
“…fucking took advantage of you…”
“…my choice. I did this…”
“…my fucking daughter!”
I groan and roll over, cracking open my eyes. Anna and Dan stand over me, their faces etched with anger, glaring at each other. Dan yells at her, his arms waving furiously in her face, but Anna stands her ground. I manage a chuckle, because she’s feisty, all right. I groan, because fuck me, it hurts to laugh.
“Dammit, Dad, just walk away,” she sighs, pushing him away from me.
He mutters something under his breath but stalks off.
She drops to my side, her eyes full of concern. She smiles at me and kisses my forehead, while I badly attempt to wipe her tear stained cheeks. I breathe in, wincing as my breath catches on what I hope is just a bruised rib.
“Daddy!”
I look over and see Milly standing there, crying. She looks terrified, and I’m grateful when Mandy comes over and leads the kids away, assuring them I’ll be fine. They shouldn’t have had to watch that. The moment I catch my breath, I’ll go over and talk to them.
“Are you okay?” Anna asks, her voice breaking.
“I’m fine. Just winded, I think,” I mumble, wiping my eye. I glance down and see blood.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers.
“What do you have to be sorry about?” I ask, frowning. “I provoked him.”
I hold her arm as she helps me up. Once she’s convinced I’m okay, the smile is quickly replaced with an angry frown. She glares at me with her hands on her hips.
“You provoked him?” She gasps. “You were trying to get him to hit you? To solve what, exactly?” she says, shaking her head. “Jesus, Nick, I told you to leave him alone. You saw how angry he was. You know he doesn’t handle his temper very well.”
I chuckle as I think about the good old days, when we played soccer together, back when my kids were babies. Well, at least we had played until he got banned for punching an umpire in the face.
“I just wanted him to stop taking it out on you,” I mutter, wiping my lip, which is already beginning to swell. “I just thought if he roughed me up a little, he might feel better and calm down.”
I smile gratefully at Kayla, who appears out of nowhere to hand me a bag of ice. I place it on my lip and glance around, embarrassed that everyone is watching this, including my kids. When I see the worry in my daughter’s eyes, my heart breaks. What the fuck am I doing? What kind of father would let their kids see something like that?
Which is exactly how Dan probably feels.
“He’ll take it out on both of us because we both lied to him,” Anna says. “This isn’t your mess, Nick. It’s ours.”
“Okay, you're right. I was wrong. Can we just move on now?” I growl. Anna frowns, and I immediately feel bad taking my frustration out on her. “I’m sorry,” I say to her. “I’m just annoyed at the situation. Not you.”
“Holy shit, this is better than an episode of Jerry Springer,” Kayla mutters from behind us. We both turn around and glare at her. She holds her hands up defensively. “What? Sorry, I was just making a comment.”
“So, what do we do now?” Anna asks me, still upset.
I shrug. “I wish I knew the answer to that. We’re supposed to be on this boat for another four nights, but if that happens, Dan and I might just kill each other.”
“I don’t think I can handle another four nights on this boat,” Anna mumbles.
“The best thing might be to just go home.” I glance over at where my kids are still standing with Mandy. “But first, I’m going to take them somewhere and talk to them.”
Anna nods. “Do you want me to come?” she asks.
“Thanks, but I think I need to speak to them first,” I say. I considered saying yes, but then I decided that this needed to come from me. “Maybe when we get back, we can all go out for dinner, or something?” I suggest.
“I’d like that.” Anna smiles. She looks relieved. “I was worried that this was it. That we were over.”
“Because your Dad found out?” I ask. She nods, looking embarrassed. “Do you want this to end?” I ask her, my heart racing. I’d respect it if that was what she wanted, but even just the thought of not having her in my life makes me sick.
“No,” she says softly.
“Then we will work through this.” I shrug. “I told your dad that I’m not sorry about what we did. Not even the tiniest bit. I’m only sorry that we weren’t upfront with him from the beginning.”
“Me too,” she says, managing a smile. If it weren’t for everyone watching us, I’d be kissing her right now. But they are, so I settle for a squeeze of her hand. She steps forward, reaching up to run her finger gently over my eye. “It’s so bruised,” she murmurs. “You’re going to have one hell of a black eye.”
I nod. I got the feeling I was going to wake up very sore tomorrow.
“I’ll find you after I’ve spoken to the kids, okay?” I murmur.
She nods. “Good luck.”
I take Max and Milly upstairs, onto the roof. We find a place to sit where we can talk. I’ve got no idea what to say, or even how much they already know, but I guess I’m about to find out. They’re smart kids. I was stupid to think they wouldn’t have figured out any of this on their own already.
“Why was Dan hitting you?” Milly asks with a frown. She can’t look at me for very long without tearing up, probably because I’ve got two black eyes and a swollen lip. God, it even hurts to talk.
“Because I lied to him,” I answer honestly. Whatever they ask me, I’m going to tell them the truth.
“What about?”
“About what Anna and I are to each other,” I say.
“Lovers?” Milly supplies. I frown at my eight-year-old and wonder how the hell she came to that conclusion. Max laughs at my reaction.
“Come on, Dad. You think we didn’t already know that you’re seeing her? She’s at our house all the time. Like, All. The. Time. Like even more than me, and I live there.”
“She was helping me out with you guys,” I retort.
“She was there like an hour tops before we went to bed. You think we didn’t notice how late she was leaving, or when she stayed over?” Max laughs.
Milly nods in agreement. “We see Ev-Ery-Thing,” she sounds out. “And then there’s the way you look at each other all kissy-kissy,” Milly adds, making smooching sounds. I groan, which makes her giggle more.
“So, Dan isn’t happy that you like Anna?” Max asks, furrowing his brow, getting us back on point. “Why?”
“Because she’s his daughter and I guess he wants better for her,” I say with a sigh. It kills me that I’m good enough to be his friend, but not good enough for his daughter.
“But you’re a great person,” Max says seriously. “He should be happy she likes someone who will take such good care of her.”
I smile at him. “Thanks, Max,” I say, my voice thick with emotion.
I’m not the kind of guy who cries. Ever. But if I were, this moment right here would’ve gotten me. I wrap my arms around my kids and squeeze the hell out of them until they groan and struggle out of my reach.
Every day, I struggle with being a single parent. I’m constantly worried that I’m fucking things up or that I could be doing something better. I often wonder if they would’ve turned out differently if Marley was still alive.
Like any parent, I just want what is best for them. I want them to turn into great people, and I want to be proud of who they’ve become. But more than anything else, I want them to be proud of me. So, hearing my son tell me that Anna was lucky to have me pretty much made my night. Hell, that comment made my life.
I spend most of the day with the kids, including an impromptu picnic dinner on the roof involving leftover sandwiches, soda, and old fruit. After I’ve settled them in bed, I hunt down the captain to see about turning this boat back home, only to find out that Dan has already requested it. I’m kind of relieved that we’re already en route, but it also cements how angry he is at the both of us.
I knock on Anna’s door. She doesn’t answer, so I figure she’s either sleeping or with Kayla somewhere. Sighing, I glance around, at a loss at what to do next. I was half expecting Dan to be manning her door to keep me out of her room. The fact that he isn’t—I’m not sure if it’s a good sign or not. In the end, I give up and go to bed, where I end up staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours.
I lie there awake, for most of the night, going over the situation in my head. The more I think about it, the more unrealistic I think Dan is being. I won’t apologize for who I’ve fallen in love with, because if I do, then that makes our relationship wrong and dirty. I pause and think about what I just said. Who I’ve fallen in love with…I’m in love with her.
Holy shit.
I smile because, to be honest, being in love again feels pretty damn awesome, especially since I’ve managed to find the one woman who really gets me. If Dan thinks I’m going to give that up, just because he can’t get his thick head around us being together, then he has another thing coming. I’ll lose our friendship before I lose her.
It’s just after six when I finally drag myself out of bed and head to the kitchen. I’m the first person up, and honestly, I'm glad because the last thing I feel like doing is making small talk with anyone. I haven’t seen Anna since yesterday, and my few texts have gone unreplied to. I don’t know if she needs space, or if being on this boat with me and her dad is just too much for her to deal with, but I feel like she’s avoiding me.
After making myself a coffee, I sit down at the table and stare into the cup of amber liquid. The door squeaks open. I look up to see Mandy standing there. I’m embarrassed and ashamed that she had to witness everything that happened yesterday.
God knows what she thinks of me.
“Hey, I can go somewhere else if you want to be alone...” she says. I’m sure I see her cringe. I shake my head, even though I’d love for her not to be here.
“Don’t be silly,” I mutter. “Come in.”
She nods and walks over to make a coffee, then sits down at the other end of the long table. If that doesn’t spell awkward, then nothing does. She must realize it, too, because she moves three seats closer to me.
She hesitates, then looks at me. “I know it’s none of my business, but he’ll calm down eventually,” she says.
“Will he?” I ask. I’m not sure I agree. “I’ve never seen him this angry, and I’ve known him for a long time.”
“He's just upset. He feels betrayed. And I'm not even sure how much of it is that you're with Anna and how much is that he feels like you both went behind his back.”
“That was never my intention,” I mutter, shaking my head. “We just…connected. Then it was too late.”
“Okay, but look at it from his perspective. Imagine fifteen or even twenty years down the track, Milly is in her twenties, and you discover she’s with your best friend. How would that make you feel?”
“I’d fucking kill him,” I mutter. I shake my head. But then I’d kill any guy Milly was with. “You don't need to tell me that I'm in the wrong, Mandy. I know that we should’ve told him about us. I just wish …” I shake my head and laugh. “I don't even know what I wish.”
“You wish that he would understand and realize that you and Anna really feel something for each other?” I glance at her because she’s hit the nail on the head. “As I said, give him time. Let him see how much you mean to each other, and he will eventually come around.”
I nod and swallow the last of my coffee down in one hit, before I stand to my feet and walk over to the sink, putting the cup in the dishwasher.
“Thanks for the chat,” I mumble.
“Anytime.”
She smiles at me, and I walk out, thinking about what she said. I'm sure he will come around, eventually, but I’d be stupid to think that things could ever go back to the way they were.