Chapter Two
Nick
Standing in the kitchen, my heart swells as I watch Milly finish clearing the table after breakfast. She glances up and catches me looking at her. She takes extra care in washing all the soap suds off, sometimes spending a few minutes on each item. I smile because she reminds me so much of her mother.
Marley used to love washing dishes. Never mind the two-grand dishwasher we had; she’d wash everything by hand after nearly every meal because she didn’t trust the machine to do a good enough job. She told me it was therapeutic, that it gave her a sense of accomplishment. She only had to look at our two kids to feel proud of what she’d achieved. They were all her. I just provided the sperm.
“What?” Milly asks. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you’re amazing. I wonder every day how you turned out to be such an incredible little girl. You’re so much like your mom, Mills. She’d be so proud of you.” She blushes, which just makes me chuckle. I know I’m embarrassing my little princess, but I don’t care.
“Do you still miss her?” she asks quietly.
“Every day,” I answer honestly. “You?”
“All the time,” she admits. “Sometimes I feel happy, and then I get upset because I shouldn’t be happy with Mommy gone.”
“Mommy would want you to be happy,” I say tenderly. I walk over and give her a hug. “Never feel guilty about finding happiness in something, okay?” She nods, smiling at me as I gaze down at her.
“Good. Now, go get ready for school. I’ll finish up here.”
She kisses me on the cheek and runs off, while I pile the rest of the dishes into the sink to clean later. Either that or I’ll throw them out and buy a new set. Two years, and I still can’t bring myself to actually use the damn dishwasher.
Ten minutes later, I load the kids into the car and drive them to school. Max sits in the front because at ten, he feels he’s at the point in life where being older means he deserves more opportunities than his sister. I won’t lie; being a single dad is fucking hard work, but when I look at those two kids and see what amazing little humans they’ve become, all I feel is pride.
I pull up outside the school and wait for them to get out. Milly unbuckles her belt and throws her arms around me from her place in the back seat. Max, on the other hand, is anxiously glancing around to make sure nobody is watching him. So, that’s what this is about. He’s making sure none of his friends see him being dropped off to school by “Daddy.” Until then, I had no intention of embarrassing my son, but if he’s expecting it, who am I to let him down?
“Bye, Dad,” Milly says, kissing me on the cheek. Max gets out and stares at me through the window like I’m cramping his style.
“You can go now,” he mumbles, his eyes downcast.
“What? And miss a chance at embarrassing you?” I tease. Unclipping my seat belt, I lean over through the open window to smirk at him. “Come on. Give Daddy a kiss, or I’m walking you up to that door and giving you the biggest hug I can muster.”
His eyes widen in horror. “Please, no,” he begs.
“Okay, compromise. I’ll just walk you to the gate,” I chuckle. “But you have to shake my hand.”
“You’re such a fool,” he groans. “Most parents would be happy their kid wants to catch the bus to school.”
“Yeah, well, kill me for wanting to make sure my kids are safe,” I retort.
I keep my promise and go no farther than the school gates, where a sea of housewives have gathered. I pretend not to notice the looks I’m getting, but it’s hard. I feel like a celebrity. Some of them are anything but subtle. In fact, two of them are outright staring at my crotch, and I’m sure both of them are married.
I’d heard the rumors, too. It was a bit hard not to—small town gossip and all. It was a little bit disconcerting how everyone stopped talking whenever I walked into a room, but I got used to it. Where most guys would be happy to have women throwing themselves at them, I think I preferred it when the size of my cock wasn’t the deciding factor when weighing up whether or not to go out with me.
I never thought I’d say this, but I’m sick of the one-night stands, women who wanted nothing more than to see if I “fit” in. Yes, one woman had actually said that to me. By far the worst was the other night when the woman I was with ended up in the hospital needing stitches in a rather delicate area. Apparently, sex with me was like giving birth, without the rewards of a baby. If that didn’t kill my libido, nothing would.
“You know what you need to do,” my best friend, Dan, had said.
“What?” I asked suspiciously. Nearly everything Dan came up with was a bad idea.
“No sex on the first three dates.” He held his hands out triumphantly. “There, I said it.”
It actually wasn’t a bad idea, because at least then, it would weed out the ones who were only interested in one thing. I mean, did they have no dignity or respect? Forget the fact that I was a single dad who’d lost my wife to cancer, or that this dating scene was all new to me. I was beginning to feel like Cinderella, only it wasn’t a shoe I was trying to squeeze into.
I leave the school with three new numbers in my pocket and no intention of calling any of them, then I head to work. Having my own business gave me the flexibility to come and go as I pleased, which worked really well when it came to having kids. I was serious when I’d told Anna last night that I loved my job. Thinking about that first design being put into action still gave me goose bumps.
Anna. Hot, mature, and incredibly awkward Anna. I chuckle just thinking about her. Where the fuck had I been? She was so fucking cute with her awkward comments and ability to say the wrong thing nearly every time. Watching her upend herself in her driveway had been hilarious. And then to turn up two hours later for dinner, smelling like strawberries? God, who knew strawberries could be so sexy.
I can think naughty things about Anna, but I’d never go there. Way too much to lose and all that. Still, she’s nice to think about, and I’m pretty sure she has a little crush on me, considering she couldn’t look me in the eye. It was either that or…
Oh, crap. The rumors. I cringe at the thought of what she’s probably heard about me.
Shirley, my assistant, smiles at me as I sit down at my desk.
“Long day already?” she asks, with a sympathetic grin.
“You know how it is,” I chuckle. “Just dropping the kids off at school, I had to wade through the countless propositions from mothers just to get back to my car.”
“Oh, poor you,” teases Shirley.
She lets out a hearty laugh that I can’t help but echo. Shirley is like a second mother to me, and the closest thing the kids have to a grandparent. In her fifties, she's been my assistant for the last ten years. She was the last person my wife hired for me. I don't know what I'd do without her often-crazy advice.
“You know what I think?” she asks, looking at me over the rim of her glasses.
“I'm sure you’re going to tell me,” I say with an amused smile. I sit back in my chair, resting my hands behind my head and wait to hear what it’s going to be this time.
“You need to think outside the box,” she says with a shrug.
“Thanks, but I don't think the box is the problem,” I joke.
She laughs. “Think outside this town, Nick. Why limit yourself to what Keeley's Island has to offer when fifteen minutes in the car can have you in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the state? Go out on the town and meet someone who doesn't know you.” She arches her eyebrow and glances at my crotch. “Or what you have to offer,” she smirks. I groan and hunch forward because the last thing I want her thinking about is that.
“Thank you, Shirley. Wonderful advice,” I grumble. It’s like having the sex talk with my mother. Unwarranted and completely unnecessary. “How about you make yourself useful and get me a coffee?”
She mumbles under her breath, before shaking her head at how stubborn I am, before stalking off in the direction of the staffroom. I know she’s not entirely wrong. Maybe I do need to broaden my horizons because I'm certainly not finding what I want in this town, that’s for sure.
But looking elsewhere brought along a whole new set of problems, like what if I actually found someone outside of this island? Wouldn’t it just complicate a new relationship, trying to find ways to spend time together? It just seemed more hassle than it was worth.
Maybe I should just be happy greeting my hand every night in the privacy of my bedroom and forget about finding a woman? At this point, it seems easier, and fewer people will end up being hospitalized.
It’s after seven when I eventually leave the office and head home. Wednesdays and Fridays are my two nights to work late and get shit done. The kids stay back in an afterschool program and then are either dropped off at home—or occasionally Shirley’s place—by one of the other parents. Shirley told me last week that the other mothers fought over who got to drive my kids home.
Opening the car door, I climb out, nearly crash tackling Anna to the ground. I help her to her feet, apologizing profusely as she brushes herself off. What is it with this girl and accidents?
“I really am sorry for crashing into you. Can I apologize by cooking dinner for you again?” I ask her.
Anna flinches and then shakes her head, glancing anywhere but directly at me. “Sorry; I haven’t seen Dad in ages, so I really should eat with him.”
“Really?” I glance over the fence and into their open garage. I raise my eyebrows and smirk. “Because it doesn’t seem like he’s home.”
“Huh,” she mumbles like it was news to her. But I know she’s lying from how red her cheeks have gone. I narrow my eyes at her. She’s trying to avoid spending time with me, and I want to know why.
“Is everything okay?” I ask her with a frown.
“What? No, it’s fine,” she rushes to reply. “I’m just tired. Long day. Speaking of which, I think I might just go to bed.” Her eyes widen. “On the couch. Sleep on the couch, not in my room. I don’t think I’ll have any need to go into my room at all tonight.” She curses under her breath, looking angry about something. “I have to go.”
I watch, perplexed as she all but runs away from me. What the fuck…? Shaking my head, I let the last five minutes go because thinking about that too hard was going to drive me crazy.