Jigsaw didn't want to focus on any of it. It was all too much. He'd spent so long wondering who he was, and wishing and looking for even the smallest clue to his past...but this...no! He wasn't going to accept that he'd been in love with, and intimate with, Kimber's sister. That was just too much. He loved Kimber and he was faithful to her, and no matter what, there was nothing to come between them. Now, suddenly, there was...and it was her sister. No fucking way. No way. And then there was that word she'd just used...rape. The very idea of anyone putting their hands on her...much less forcing her, hurting her...it was all too fucking much. He didn't know if the turmoil in his head and chest was anxiety or rage, but he did know that if he wasn't able to release it, it might just tear him apart.

“I want to know his name,” he said, much more calmly than he felt.

“Baby...”

“His name!” He didn't mean to snap at her. She flinched like he hit her. “Damn it. I'm sorry. My head is just fucked up right now.”

She put her hand on his shoulder. “I know baby. I'm sorry. We'll talk about that pig later, I promise, okay?” He nodded. His head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

“So, after that I left, and I've told you the story about how I ended up here...” Kimber told him that she had been on her way to New Jersey but Natalie didn't act thrilled about her coming there. So, she went to New York instead and got a job working in a diner there for a while. When she got tired of that, she got on a train and ended up in New Hampshire where she landed a job working at a Bed and Breakfast. Her plan then had been to work her way across the US and ultimately end up in California when she met a group of the girls from the club. They were on a vacation of sorts, visiting Callie's mother. She was the business manager of the Inn and over the two weeks the girls were there, Kimber and Callie became friends. Kimber confided her plans to Callie and Callie suggested when she made it to Massachusetts she should stay at the ranch for a while. Kimber made it to the ranch a couple of months later. She hadn't meant to stay long...but then Jigsaw came crashing into her life and she was ready to stay forever. Jigsaw wasn't about to see those plans change, no matter what happened in New Jersey. “When Natalie settled with her...with...with Mammoth.” She sighed. “She called me and told me where she was and how to get a hold of her if I needed her. We talked about once a month after that. She didn't tell me a lot about the inner workings of the club, but she did tell me a lot about this guy she was with. She said that he was sweet and caring toward her, but tough as nails on the outside. She was deeply in love with him and she said he loved her too...they were even talking about getting married when he was...”

“Killed! That can't be me,” Jigsaw said, suddenly remembering. “That first week I was on the ranch I heard you on the phone more than once. Your sister was upset, grieving over this guy she lost. Part of why I was so attracted to you was your compassion and your patience with her. But he can't be me,” he said, excitedly. “He's dead.”

Kimber looked at him like she was torn between wanting to tell him what he wanted to hear...and telling him what he needed to hear. At last she said, “Think about it, baby. Just about the time you turn up, she thinks her guy is dead. I don't really understand it, she told me he wrecked his bike and they had a funeral for him and everything so...I don't know who they buried. But baby, I'm pretty sure the guy she was in love with, the one that saved her from our terrible life...was you.”

Jigsaw's head was pounding in time with his heart. He wished that he could go back in time and pretend that he was sick that night when BB came knocking at his door. He wished that he didn't know or suspect any of this. But Kimber was right, the timing was right. He suddenly knew who he needed to talk to before he did anything else. “I need to go find Dax.”

Kimber looked surprised but said, “Okay. Are we still going, to Jersey?”

He shook his head slowly. He had to go sometime, but not today. He was going to talk to Dax and then he was going to spend the rest of the day with the love of his life, pretending that everything was okay. It might be the last night that it was. “Not today, babe. Go down and get yourself some breakfast. I'm going over to talk to Dax. Then if you're up for it, maybe we can go for a ride in the hills or something.”

She looked confused, or worried about him...or something. He'd make it up to her later. Right then, he needed to talk to the only mentor that he remembered he ever had. He kissed her and as he went out the door she said, “Jigsaw?”

“Yeah baby?”

“You know how much I love you, right? Even if it turns out that you want to go back to E—”

“Uh uh! Don't even think that. You're my woman, I'm your man. That's the way it's always going to be. We'll figure the rest out as we go.”

She put her arms around him and for just a few seconds they held each other. He could feel the drumming of a heart between them. He didn't know if it was hers, his, or both. It didn't matter though, as far as he was concerned, they both beat as one. He kissed her on the side of the face and said, “Go get something to eat, or get some coffee. Maybe see what the girls have cooking and make us a picnic?” She looked up at him through the tears in her eyes and smiled and nodded. He didn't want to leave her, but Dax was the smartest man he knew, and he needed a second opinion, desperately.

Jigsaw walked up on Dax's porch. He was about to knock when he heard a little voice. “Hey there. If you're looking for my daddy, he's not here.” Jigsaw looked down into a pair of dark green eyes. Little Susie, Dax and Angel's adopted daughter came up not even to his waist. Her tangled red hair blew around her face that had a spot of dirt on it and both knees of her blue jeans had holes in them. She was about seven years old and one of the cutest things Jigsaw had ever seen.

“Hey Susie. What are you up to?”

“Nothing. My Angel asked me to come outside while she cleaned up the kitchen. I got the syrup from my pancakes on the good tablecloth.” Jigsaw smiled and then he frowned. He suddenly had an image of a green satin table cloth and a woman in a flowered dress standing next to the table where a little boy was sitting, and she was crying. He could hear the little blond-haired boy's voice in his head saying,

“Don't worry Mamaw, Momma knows how to get it out. I get syrup on her table all the time.” The old woman pulled out the chair she was holding onto and sat down. She reached for the little boy and he went to her, climbing up in her plump lap. She pulled him in for a hug and squeezed him so tightly that he felt like he couldn't breathe. “Mamaw, you're squishing me!” When she held him back, he could see the tears rolling swiftly down the lines on her face. “Mamaw, please don't be mad at me. Please don't cry.” She squeezed him again and by then he was getting scared. Something was really wrong. Mamaw had never acted this way before. Finally, holding him back again so she could look down at his face she said, “Baby, there was an accident...your momma and daddy...they're not coming home.”

“Hey Jig, you okay?” He was brought out of the vision, or whatever it was, by the sound of Susie's voice again. She was looking up at him with concern in her eyes.

“Yeah Suze, I'm okay. Sorry. I was just thinking. I'm sure your Angel's not too mad about the syrup.” Susie knew Angel was her mother now, but she had always thought of her as her own personal guardian angel, so that was what she called her, “My Angel.”

“I'm not too worried about the syrup. My Angel didn't seem too mad. You looked kind of funny for a minute. You sure you're okay?”

He smiled to reassure her and said, “Yeah honey, I'm okay. Where's your daddy?”

“He went over to the hole.” Jigsaw chuckled to himself. The hole was the biggest secret on the ranch, but the seven-year-old knew about it.

“Okay, I'll find him there. Thanks Suze.”

“You're welcome.” She watched him get back on his bike and then she went inside. Jigsaw smiled again. Most people wouldn't think an MC was a good place to raise a kid, but Susie was a happy well-adjusted kid and although he didn't know much about kids, most of the kids he'd met since he lived on the ranch seemed like good, happy kids as well. Jigsaw knew that was mostly due to Dax and the way he ran things. He looked up to him and on his way to the hole he decided that whatever Dax suggested...that was what he would do.