17
Blindfolds and Airplanes
~Noah~
Claire and I are leaving in the morning to check out her school for a few days. The plan is to come back, pack up all our stuff, and then drive back to the city in a few weeks, giving Claire a week before school starts up.
I took Jonathan’s advice the same night he gave it and had a sit down with my parents. I told them everything on my mind, cutting them off and telling them I would walk away and not finish the discussion if they didn’t let me say my piece for once. They listened. For the first time in my life, they listened.
I told them what I wanted in the immediate future, letting them know college wasn’t completely off the table; it just was for now. When I knew with absolute certainty what I wanted, then we could discuss it again, even if what I wanted didn’t include college. Of course there was the whole “you can decide that while you go to school” speech. Again, I cut them off. This was my decision.
Then I brought up Claire and how my mother treated her. I confronted her. I confided to her. I told her everything I have seen and know about Claire. I shared our relationship with her and my feelings.
I talked to both my parents about what the last year has meant to me. We talked about how they always talk like I’m not there. We talked about things in the past that should be long forgotten. We talked.
And in the end, I had this weight lifted off my chest I never realized was there. I’m not going to say we were all smiles, happiness, and love. That’s not us. What I can say is that there is this … lightness when we communicate now, like before there was this heavy cloud surrounding us, and we were all bearing it, holding the rain at bay.
The rest of the weekend was a lot calmer after that. I think everyone could tell the difference. We ended up having an okay time, hanging out, having dinners together. And Mom was more friendly with Claire, telling her about some of the operas her and my dad had gone to in the city. She even went shopping with Katy, Claire, and Abby. And when they came back, Claire had this shell-shocked look on her face. I asked her what happened, and she said, “Your mom hugged me.” I almost laughed at that, but I was too shocked myself.
Claire’s a nervous ball of energy right now, squirming in the seat next to me as we take my aunt’s truck to a surprise location. There is something I have always wanted to do, and this may be my last chance to do it, and I want to share it with Claire.
She is blindfolded once again, something she has become accustomed to, especially between the sheets. She loves playing games like that, a detail I learned through the course of the summer while absorbing every intimate thing about her: her likes and don’t likes, the way she reacts to every touch, her endurance, lack of patience. The woman wants to try everything; insatiable. Just thinking about it makes my dick throb.
I grin, holding back a chuckle, as Claire tilts her head back, trying to see from beneath the blindfold.
“No cheating.”
Her broad smile drops to a fake pout as she crosses her arms in mock indignation. “I’m not.” She sticks her tongue out in my general direction.
“Yeah, okay.”
I glance at her every few moments as I drive, watching as she continues to peek, unable to stop myself from chuckling after a while because she is being so damn obvious.
Finally, she sighs. “Are we there yet?”
I bite my bottom lip to keep silent, not wanting to laugh outright at the childish way she questioned that. “Soon.”
A few more minutes go by, then, “Are we close now?”
“Sure,” I give her. She didn’t ask how soon. Is twenty minutes soon?
I start singing low to the song on the radio when, “How ’bout now?”
“Yep.”
Claire softly counts to three hundred as she taps out a beat on the door. “Now?”
I glance at the clock. “Count to one thousand.”
“Noah! That’s not soon.” She gives out a huff and crosses her arms once again.
I ignore her outburst, knowing she’s being playful. She’s too excited about what new surprise I have in store for her. Instead, I think back to this past summer.
It went by quickly, filled with days of doing whatever the hell we wanted. We spent time with my family; took Abby out to the park and movies, and taught her how to roller skate at the rink in town. We hung out with Max and Cyn, and I got a new tattoo on the inside of my wrist where the bracelet Claire gave me covers it. It’s an outline of a guitar pick with Claire’s birthdate. Cheesy, I know. And permanent. Again, yes, I know. However, so are we. And if there is the off chance that we aren’t—not jinxing here—then at least I will always have the memory of the first girl I ever loved. That somehow, no matter what, I will always love.
Claire wasn’t with me when I got the tattoo. She was off with Cyn getting her hair cut. She didn’t do anything too drastic. However, it’s a lot shorter than it was. Where before her hair was touching her ass when she tilted her head back, now it’s barely covering her breasts in the front. It makes her look taller, more mature, and she seems to be happy with it. I’m just a tad bit nervous about the change, like it signifies something major. Other than that, I think she’s still as beautiful as ever.
The band continues to play every Friday night, sometimes Saturdays, and sometimes during the week when they need someone to fill in. The crowd is always packed. The other bands have been working out well for Jeremy. And with my departure coming up, Cyn has already set herself up with another band. I encouraged Kyle to start a new band when he gets settled in college. He’s so talented that he shouldn’t stop playing.
Most of all, this summer has only been about me and Claire, hanging out at her house, walking in the woods that I love so much, planning surprise trips like this one, making love under the trees, in her bed, in the storage room at Jeremy’s where we had our first conversation … just about everywhere.
A noteworthy event was Troy’s departure. Though he came into my life in a big, threatening matter, he faded to the background quickly, and now he is gone. Of course, he couldn’t leave without seeing Claire, trying once again to mend their relationship. He also apologized to Jonathan; in which, Jonathan forgave him. Not my finest moment, with my teeth grinding, my hands balled into fists. I’m all for forgiveness, but there are some sins that can never be forgotten.
“Three thousand,” Claire sings.
It’s twilight now, the sun already setting. The sky is orange on the horizon, a midnight blue above us, with stars starting to speckle the darkening sky. This is one thing I’m going to miss back in the city. In the city, you forget there are infinite stars above you. You forget there are sunsets and sunrises. Out here, you appreciate the beauty of the little things you never even knew to appreciate.
I turn into the place of our destination, then back up to the fence line and put the truck in park before turning toward Claire. “No peeking. No getting out of the cab. No questions. Got it?” I tap gently on her nose, emphasizing each instruction.
“Got it.” She bounces in her seat, a huge grin showcasing her baby-sized, white teeth.
I watch her as I back out of the cab and shut the door, seeing her still bouncing in her seat, facing forward now, with her hands clenched together in her lap. I move to the back of the truck and hop on, arranging the blankets and pillows I packed back there. I even packed a cooler, filled with finger foods and drinks.
With everything set up, I make my way to Claire’s side of the truck, open the door, and help her out.
“All right, we are going to spend the night hanging out in the back of the truck. I know it sounds lame, but I promise this will be epic.”
Just then, I hear the sound of engines moving closer.
“Shit!” I practically rip the blindfold off Claire’s face and hurry her to the inside of the truck’s bed. “Lie down. Quick.” I push her onto her back and lie down next to her.
She lifts her head and stares straight ahead at the runway in front of us, her eyes going wide. The noise of the engines makes it too loud to hear anything else at this point, but I read her mouth as she says, “Oh, shit.”
I laugh my ass off, never expecting it when Claire swears.
The plane flies above us, the wind from its speed blowing her hair around her face. She laughs freely, the sound lost to the wind and roar. I grasp her hand as the plane flies over the airfield, landing with a squeal of tires burning rubber.
With the plane now a quarter mile away, I tell her, “I saw this in a movie once. I think it lived up to its supposed coolness.”
“Oh, yeah, which movie?” she asks, turning toward me.
I try to hide a smile, wanting to keep a straight face for what’s about to come out of my mouth.
“Wayne’s World,” I deadpan.
She burst into laughter, and when her laughter subsides into giggles, she says, “Oh, my God, that was definitely cool.”
“Yeah. But my timing wasn’t.”
“No, it really was. It was perfect. The adrenaline of getting up here, hearing the jet and not knowing what was happening … It was perfect timing.”
I bring our clasped hands up to my lips and kiss the back of hers. “I guess it was.”
We stay silent for a while, looking up as the stars start to pop out one by one.
After a while, with no more sounds of approaching jets, I point out, “I guess that really was good timing. This airport gets no action.”
Claire laughs and rolls over onto me. “We can give it some action.”
“Mmm … I like the way you think, angel.”
~Claire~
I feel like I have grown so much over the summer. Or, well, since becoming intimate with Noah. It’s like this huge veil was lifted from me. Surprise! And someone else was hidden behind it for years. I don’t feel awkward anymore, which is weird, because I never thought I felt that way before. However, there was an awkward girl under that veil. Also one who was constantly anxious, timid, humorless, overly sensitive, and not really alive.
Now, I feel alive. I feel fun and flirty and like I have nothing to be ashamed of when I’m with Noah. I’m more open to other people, like Cyn, who has become a wild friend I love to pieces. Max has also been someone I can depend on, always ready with amazing advice. Then there is Kyle, who shares laughs with me, mostly at Noah’s or my own expense; but I learned that’s how he is, always so ready to joke and be playful. Katy has also become a good friend/adopted mother. All these people have opened their arms to me, and it’s all because of Noah.
I can’t wait to leave with him, but it’s bittersweet because of all the people we will leave behind, all our family and new friends. Of course they will still be a part of our lives. In fact, Cyn and Max can’t wait for us to settle down in the city so they can visit. And we will be back when there are breaks from school.
My dad shocked me by giving me a list of apartments to look over for my graduation present. I couldn’t believe it. It never even crossed my mind that I would live anywhere but at student housing. And my dad found a roommate program through the school.
We interviewed my new roommate earlier this summer, Dare Medina. She is from Spain but grew up in the States. She is a cellist, full of high energy and is very entertaining. Our chat sessions over the summer had us both in a fit of laughter.
Troy did leave for boot camp the week after school let out, and not a day later. He had all year to warm up to the idea, and by the way he was fidgeting when it was time to get on the bus, yeah, he was excited. I was there. I had to be. Troy had hurt me, scared me, and ruined our friendship, but he had once been such a big part of my life. The least I could do was send him off.
We talked while we waited for his bus. He told me about Chelsea, who is due any day now; how he felt the baby kick, how they decided on a name, and how they went shopping for the baby together and bought everything she needed and more. And now he is gone.
Noah and I make love in the back of the truck, disregarding the jets flying over us. We are probably giving them quite a show. It’s a wonder security hasn’t shown up and kicked us out yet.
I love the way we feel together. The way sex feels new and different every time. The way we can be serious one minute, completely in the moment, and then laughing at each other the next. The way we both take care of the other, giving each other what the other needs. There are no insecurities, both of us baring body and soul together tenderly, hard—whatever the need is.
Noah is always full of surprises. It’s like he goes off this handbook on what to do. He took me to a pond in the middle of the woods, where we went skinny dipping. We played paintball once, and Noah kicked everyone’s butt, having played before. He taught me how to drive his motorcycle, which scared me half to death. It took a week to learn and a lot of crying from me and patience from him. I was so afraid to hurt his bike, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. I think he was wearing his poker face because I know how much his bike means to him. It’s a testament to his love that he even let me ride it solo. Nevertheless, I will never willingly drive one again. Never.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask Noah as he stares up at the stars while crickets and cicadas chirp and sing around us. We have been lying here silently for a while now. He is dressed back in his shorts, and I am wearing my tank top and panties, lying on my stomach, caressing the lines of the tattoo he got on his wrist.
I still can’t believe he would do something so permanent as to put my birthdate on his wrist, an almost replica of my pendant. It could be worse, though. It could have been my name or initials.
“I saw this show once—I don’t remember what it was about—but it had this shot of the earth from the moon … I was thinking how insignificant we really are, that we aren’t even a dot on the planet like the stars are a dot in the sky.”
Noah has always been a deep thinker. Some of the things we have talked about are subjects I would have never thought on my own, like this one. It’s no wonder he would put Socrates on his side: The unexamined life is not worth living. Is he thinking about that now? Examining his life up to this moment?
I stop playing with his wrist and resituate myself so I can focus on him. “That’s a bit macabre,” I tell him, tracing my fingers over the freckles that have sprouted back across his nose with the warm weather.
Noah shrugs one shoulder, his arms folded behind his head. “You asked.” He glances at me then looks back up. “It has me thinking how some people would do anything to stand out amongst billions. Yet, in the grand scheme of the entire universe, it means nothing.”
He grows quiet after that, and I think about what he says. He is right. With how vast the universe is, how little our time on earth is in the limitlessness of time, what is the point? But then I think that there must be a point. There is a point to everything, isn’t there? I would like to think so.
Those people who did stand out stood out for a reason. They effected change—physical, mental, spiritual. They left an impression on the world, changed dynamics, motivated people. We had our villains, too. But by fighting against them, we brought people together.
Instead of voicing all these thoughts, I flip over to my back and look up at the stars with him. I don’t care to stand out. I would hate it if Noah did, that selfish side of me thinks. The only thing I care about right now is that I am happy. Noah is happy. My dad, my friends, I want them to be happy. I may not be a dot on the planet, but I am living, alive, and I want what all people want in the end: contentment, love, comfort.
“You mean something to me,” I finally voice.
Noah takes my hand, lacing our fingers together, before bringing them up and brushing his lips across my fingers. “You mean something to me, too.”