Letting Lex get into that car with that douchebag pissed me off. Why couldn’t I be good enough for her? Would I always be looked at as the troublemaker I used to be?

I mean, fuck, I’ve grown up, why don’t her parents see it? I have my own house. I started my own company. I don’t drink or do drugs. I don’t beat women or mistreat them in anyway. Why can’t they see that?

I get it, Jeff is her parents’ dream guy. He has money, he has the fancy car and clothes. They look at him and see a future for Lex. They look at me and only see our troubled past.

Do they ever stop and think that maybe they made us the way we were? If they wouldn’t have fucked up our childhood, we never would’ve rebelled the way we did. We never would have caused so much trouble.

Something feels off as I walk into my quiet house alone, after spending the whole week with her. Everything in the house is exactly where it was a week ago – I never spend much time in the house so nothing has moved. Even the letter that she left me, all those months ago, after she snuck out of my bed is still in the same place, untouched.

As soon as I drop my bag by the front door, I walk right back out and to the garage where I can blare the radio and lose myself while working on the car. The carburetor sits unfinished from the last time I was out here, so I start by spraying it with cleaner and thoroughly scrubbing all the grime from it.

My mind is blank the whole time – until I start reassembling it and thoughts of Lex come flooding into my mind.

What kind of future do we have together? Are we always going to be hiding?

If I could just figure out what it is that’s holding her back, I could fix it, I know I can.

She says she’s finally ready to tell me. I’ve gotten her to open up. She trusts me enough to tell me what it is. But she won’t do it here, in this town. That only confirms my suspicions about the threat being here.

I slowly and methodically sift through my memories, analyzing every second of the final days before she ran off. Who did she see? Who did she talk to? Did she say anything to hint at her leaving?

They’re the same questions I’ve asked myself a hundred times before, always coming up empty-handed.

Think about the day before she left, I tell myself, wiping my hands on my jeans as I sit on the couch by the workbench.

We’re sitting in my truck, across the street from her house. She’s terrified to go inside, and I don’t blame her. Her parents are throwing her graduation party - an elaborate event to which the entire town received an invitation. Everyone, that is, except for me.

I know that if I show up, I’ll be escorted off the property. Her parents like to believe they can keep us from each other. They know we’re always together, but as long as they don’t see it, they pretend it doesn’t exist.

“We’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes now. Are you going to go in or are you ditching your own party?”

“God, I wish I could skip it.” She rolls her eyes.

I pull her to my side and press a kiss to her lips. “Go inside, endure your party, and come by when you’re done. I’ll be there waiting.”

“Okay,” she says before giving me another kiss and getting out.

My gaze follows her as she slowly walks up her driveway. Through the crack of the front door, I catch a fleeting glimpse of a large crowd, holding champagne glasses and dressed in the latest fashion for the occasion. The gentle sound of live music drifts to me through the opening to this surreal, fake world, and I shake my head disapprovingly as I drive off into the night. Just as the door obscures her from my view, I catch her glancing longingly back at me.

That was the last time I saw her.

My dad’s car is in the drive when I pull in at home.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” I think out loud to myself as I park and head inside.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he asks when I walk in.

“I just dropped Lex off.”

He follows me to the kitchen and stands close behind me as I get a bottle of water from the fridge. “If you’re thinking about running off with that bitch you better think again.”

I slam the fridge closed and turn to face him. “You can’t stop shit, Dad. I’m eighteen. Tomorrow, we’re gone.”

Nothing was set in stone, but now that she is done with school and is eighteen, we can finally put our plan into action.

The thought of running away with her is the only thing that’s kept me going this past year.

He grabs me by my shirt and pushes me hard against the wall. “Over my dead body, you are.” The alcohol on his breath burns my nose, and the throbbing vein in his forehead amplifies the hatred that emanates from his eyes. I don’t even know why he wants me here. Someone to beat on? Is that all he wants me for?

I shove against him. “Fine. If that’s what it takes to you get out of my life.”

He laughs. “Oh, you’re a big man now? Is that it? You think you can take me?”

I stand taller. He’s got a good fifty pounds on me, but if that’s what it takes then I am willing to try.

Without warning he drives his fist into my stomach just under my ribs, knocking the wind out of me and causing me to double over. He looms over me, laughing.

A hot surge of rage rises from deep in my chest and I throw my entire bodyweight forward into him, tackling him to the ground.

His eyes widen with surprise and I immediately start throwing punches. He blocks most of them, but I manage to land a few hits.

Seemingly unfazed, he casually rolls over and pins me beneath him, as if he were fighting a small child. Smiling maniacally, he pulls back his sinewy arm and delivers another solid hit.

My eye is already swelling and dimming my vision, blood trickles from my split lower lip, and my head is pounding. He’s a big man, and his dense fists and arms are a force to be reckoned with.

One hit wasn’t enough for him, though. He takes advantage of my dazed state and hits me a few more times.

Everything goes black.

When I come to, the house is quiet and devoid of life. I wearily stand and stumble to the bathroom to check out the damage. The face revealed in the mirror is beyond recognition. My right eye is swollen shut, my lips are swollen and busted, and bruises in all shades of blue and purple cover my jaw and cheekbones.

Seeing this only brings back the feelings of anger. I push off the bathroom sink and head to my room.

Fuck this. I’m done.

I grab my bag and fill it full of clothes. We’re leaving tonight.

I take one last look around my room to make sure I’m not forgetting anything and slam the door closed behind me.

Back at Lex’s, I park down the block, out of sight of any nosy partygoers, and head straight to her backyard. I toss several pebbles at her bedroom window, but her light never comes on and her face never appears behind the glass.

I sit and wait, thinking maybe the party isn’t over yet.

Still I wait and wait, but never see her again.

I shake my head to clear the memories and the feelings they bring up. Just the thought of that night angers me to no end.

I shove off the couch and jump in my truck, driving towards her house under a sky painted in twilight watercolors. As expected, my phone rings as soon as I pull up in front of her house.

* * *

I don’t want to let her go, but I have to. We can’t spend all night in the woods. I watch her climb back into her window, and when she is safely inside I walk around the house to my truck.

I’m not ready to go home yet. My empty house is too quiet, and left to my own devices I know I will spend the entire night dwelling on that memory. I tend to suppress most of those kinds of memories. I don’t like to remember myself being weak.

I mean, I got into my share of fights, all of which I won. Except for those with my dad. He walked away from every one of them victorious, with me bleeding on the ground. He was too big and too strong for me to take. He had years of fighting under his belt, I was no match for him.

I can’t see Lex and I don’t want to go home, so I call up Brett and ask him to meet me for a beer. He readily agrees and his car is already parked in the lot when I pull up.

On the other side of the bar is the last person I want to see: my dad, sitting on his usual barstool.

He doesn’t see me and I want to keep it that way. That last memory has me ready to fight. I need to calm down. I walk past and find Brett sitting at a back table.

“Hey, man. Thanks for meeting me.”

“It’s no problem. Gemma is at work tonight. What’s going on? You sounded a little off over the phone.”

The waitress brings over a bottle of beer, and I take a long pull and shake my head. “I’ve just had some stuff come up that I wish would’ve stayed buried, if you know what I mean.”

He takes a drink and nods toward my dad, who is falling asleep at the bar. “Stuff regarding him?”

“Him, Lex, what happened all those years ago.”

His eyebrows raise in inquiry. “What do you mean? Like why she left?”

I nod. “She was threatened by someone, she won’t tell me who it was or what they threatened her with.”

“Have you been seeing her?”

Fuck. I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but I can trust Bret. I nod. “I’ve been with her all week. Don’t tell anyone though. Whoever threatened her, she’s still afraid of what they will do.”

Suddenly, as if she heard her name being called, she walks into the bar. She sees my dad before she sees me, and her face pales as she stops dead in her tracks.

Was it him? Did he threaten her? When could that have happened?

Jeff is behind her and he picks up on her fear. He grabs her by the arms and leads her to the bar. “Come on, Alex. I’ve put up with your mom all day, I need a drink.”

With the mention of her name, my dad perks up. He eyes her and the guy she’s with. Something flashes across his face.

It was him. He did it. He made her leave me.

Anger washes over me again, blurring my vision and dilating my veins. I grip my beer bottle tighter.

“What’s happening?” Brett asks.

“It was him. He threatened her.”

My body seems to be moving on its own. Before I can process my thoughts, I’m directly behind him.

My hands reach out and spin him around before landing a hit to his jaw, knocking him off his barstool.

I jump on him, peppering him with hit after hit. He’s so drunk, he doesn’t feel any of it. He pushes me off of him and my head bounces on the floor. I’m stunned. I lay still, trying to catch my breath.

He stands over me and looks at her, then points his finger in her direction. “You ain’t supposed to be here.”

The color drains again from her face and her eyes fall to me on the floor.

My dad looks from her to me and back before letting out a laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me? You two fucking around again?” He kicks me in my side.

The adrenaline coursing through my body numbs me to the pain. I shoot to my feet and rush him.

The main door is propped open, and the two of us fall in tandem through the screen door and onto the sidewalk outside.

“You fucking did this!” I scream between blows. “You took her from me!”

The small shred of self-control that I have left snaps. I’m lost. He’s beneath me and he can’t stop me this time. His face is bloodied, but that doesn’t make me stop. She does.

She runs over to me and grabs ahold of my arms, pulling me off him. I let her because I don’t want her hurt in this. I want her away from him.

I wrap my arms around her and put her in my truck, leaving my dad gasping and stunned on the ground as I jump into the driver’s seat and speed off.

* * *

“It was him, wasn’t it?” I ask after parking in our old make-out spot.

She doesn’t say anything, but gives a small nod.

I punch my steering wheel. “What did he threaten you with?”

“Striker, I…”

“Don’t.” I shake my head. “Don’t lie. Just tell me.”

She covers her face and cries into her hands.

Some of the anger leaves me, replaced by sympathy.

“Please, just tell me. What did he do?”

“I can’t. You will hate me, too.”

I get out of the truck and walk around to her door, pulling it open and holding her tight to me.

“I can never hate you. It doesn’t matter what you say to me right now, I will still be here. It’s only you and me. Remember?”

She pushes against my chest until I release her. She turns toward me, sitting on the edge of the seat with her legs hanging outside the truck. “He knows.”

“Knows what, Lex.”

“About my dad…” She takes a deep breath. “And your mom.”

“I know he knows about that. He’s the one who told me. That’s why he doesn’t like you, he blames you for your dad’s mistakes.”

Her jaw drops in surprise. “You knew?”

“Yeah, I knew as soon as it happened. Is this why you left? You thought I would blame you for what your dad did?”

“He got her pregnant, Striker.”

What? I take a step back. The anger that had evaporated earlier returns, stronger now. It builds and builds until I can’t contain it. I punch the side of my truck, leaving behind my knuckle prints.

“He got her pregnant and when she refused to abort the baby, he paid her to take it and leave, to never come back. My dad is the reason your mom left you. It’s all his fault and your dad was going to make sure my mom found out. She would’ve left him. My family, it would be ruined. I couldn’t let that happen, Striker. I’m so sorry. I just did what I thought I had to.” She starts crying again, but I don’t move to comfort her. I can’t.

Lex’s dad got my mom pregnant? She chose money and her new baby over me? She left me at his mercy, to get beaten and abused, all so she could start over with her golden child? How could she fucking do that? I wasn’t fucking good enough for my own mother?

My thoughts and eyesight blur and fade out into a red haze of hatred. Not for my father this time, or even Lex’s dad, but for my mom. My own mother who chose to abandon me.

Why am I never good enough for anyone? Not my dad, not Lex’s parents, and now not even my mom.

I pace back and forth, chest rising and falling rapidly and erratically. Try as I might, my lungs can’t seem to fill up enough to calm my racing heart.

I storm up to Lex, turn her around in her seat, and slam her door closed, then take my place behind the wheel and floor the accelerator.

“Striker, please talk to me.”

“I can't believe you kept this from me. I wouldn't ever keep a secret like this from you.” I'm angry and even though I know Lex isn't to blame for her father’s actions, I can still fault her for keeping it from me.

I could handle my mom leaving. I just assumed that she finally had enough of my dad and he wouldn't let her take me away from him. But knowing that she didn't even try, that she just left me so she could keep her bastard child, that’s too much for my overworked mind to cope with.

“I didn't want you to hate me too. I couldn't have survived it. Without you, I was alone. I needed you to love me.”

“Don't you fucking get it?” I look at her but her walls are coming up fast. “I'm not mad that your dad took my mom away from me, leaving me to be abused. That wasn't your fault. I'm fucking mad because you didn't tell me. How could you keep something like this from me?”

I drive by the bar, stopping the truck to peek inside. My dad is gone but Jeff is still there. I throw the shifter into park and wait for her to get the hint and get out.

“You didn't tell me that you knew about my dad and your mom either, Striker. I'm sorry, by the time I found out, your dad was using it against me.”

“Please, just get out. I need some time alone to think.”

“No, I'm not getting out.”

I look at her, dumbfounded. Is she fucking serious?

“Promise me you won't do something stupid. You've already stirred enough shit tonight. I'll be lucky if your dad keeps his fucking mouth shut after what happened.”

I can't promise her that, because the first thing I'm going to do is go after him. He deserves what's coming to him.

“Get out, Lex!”

“No!”

I throw my seatbelt off and walk to her side, dragging her kicking and screaming out of the truck. I carry her over my shoulder into the smoky building. She fights me with all her might the entire way, but her hundred-pound frame doesn’t stand a chance against me.

I carry her up the bar and stand her up next to Jeff. “Take her home and keep her there. She doesn't need to see what I'm about to do.” I point at her.

Jeff doesn't argue. He wraps his arms around her, holding her back so I can leave, alone.

I make the drive to my dad’s house. The front door is standing open with the screen door closed. I storm in. He's sitting in his lounge chair, beer in hand. The blood on his face has dried, but he hasn't attempted to clean it off. He sees me standing at the door but doesn’t budge, other than to raise the bottle of beer to his lips, eyes locked on mine.

I want to hear him say it. I take a seat on the couch next to him and try to compose myself.

“So are you going to admit it?”

"Admit what?"

“What you did!” I yell.

A grin pulls at his lips. “You're going to have to refresh my memory. I've done a lot of things.”

My body aches to reach out and punch the bastard, but I know if I do that I won’t get any of the answers I want. I take a long, slow breath.

“Do you hate me that fucking much? My life wasn't shitty enough so you had to go and take away the one person I loved? The one person in this whole fucking world who loved me back?”

“That bitch didn't love you! She was slumming. You and I both fucking know it, I think it's about time you admitted that to yourself. She was using you to piss off her mommy and daddy.”

I run my hand through my hair. “What did you do? Tell her if she didn't leave me that you were going to expose him to her mom?”

He shrugs. "Something like that. That bitch was just going to ruin your life. I saved you, you ungrateful little shit!"

I laugh. “You saved me?” I stand and smack the beer bottle out of his hand. It flies through the air and hits the wall.

He stands and puffs out his chest. “You want the truth?”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

A menacing laugh rumbles throughout the room, as if he knows what he is about to tell me will wreck me.