With Lex’s lips on mine, it feels like no time has passed, like things are exactly as they were six years ago. The only thing that’s changed is how much more I’ve grown to love her. She fights me, but just as I hike her leg over my hip, I feel her give in to me, the same way she always used to.

Her hands roam my body and my stomach muscles tense beneath her touch. Her hot skin almost burns me. She tastes so fucking sweet. I get a handful of her ass, and the moment my fingers squeeze, a part of me comes alive. My blood pumps faster and feels like it’s boiling beneath my skin.

I know she’s about to take off. I can feel it in my bones. We’re too close for comfort and she’s enjoying herself. That’s going to freak her out and make her run. She’s always been a runner.

Just as I expected, she pushes me away and takes off back toward the house. I don’t try and stop her. This is Lex. This is just what she does.

With this one brief moment alone together, I got her to lower her guard just a bit, and I know it will happen again. It always does. It comes down in steps.

I lean against the tree which she was so recently pressed against and take a moment to catch my breath. I run my hands over my face and head, trying to calm the ache in my pants.

When every part of me has calmed down, I push off from the tree and make the journey back to the path where I stashed my bike.

Her mother watches me from the window, arms crossed and eyes shooting daggers, as I pass her house. If it were possible to harm someone with just a look, her contentious expression would have me dead in the street. I don’t smile. I don’t wave. I just lock my eyes on hers. I want her to know that I know she’s watching. I want her worrying. Lex has only been home one day, yet she’s already with me. The guy that wasn’t good enough for her daughter. The guy she tried to pay off to stay away. It didn’t work then and it won’t work now.

She knows that and she’s scared.

Even though Lex has been gone and living her life for the past six years, her mother still thinks she can control her.

Nobody can control Lex. The sooner she realizes that, the better.

* * *

When I get home, I start cleaning the carburetor on my Impala. I’ve been restoring it for years, for no reason other than to keep my hands busy while my mind wanders. It’s always been relaxing for me, and helps to sort out my head.

When my parents were fighting, I’d head to the garage and work on something. When my mom left and my dad turned to drinking, when he would get wasted and beat the shit out of me, I went to the garage.

With pieces of metal in my hands, my eyes fall to the beat-up couch sitting beside my work bench. It was the one thing I took when I left my dad. Out of all my CDs, clothes, sports memorabilia, and guitars, I chose the ratty old couch that had been in our garage for years. Lex and I, we had some good times on that couch. I couldn’t let it go.

Just staring at the worn down thing still makes my heart slam against my chest.

I wipe the blood from my lip and slam the front door behind me. He’s still carrying on in the empty house, yelling and throwing things. He blames me for her leaving.

As I head towards the garage, I look up and see her standing there in the gravel, arms crossed over her chest, pulling my old flannel shirt tight around her. Her eyes are flooded with tears and the tip of her nose is red from the cold.

“What are you doing here?” I bring her into my arms, trying to comfort her. I know her mother must have pulled her usual shit again.

She looks up at me with bloodshot eyes that are distinguishable even in the dark. “Why do you stay here? How can you put up with that?” Her eyes flash toward the house, and I realize she witnessed everything.

I press a kiss to her forehead. “Come on.” I lead her toward the garage and we sit on the couch. She straddles me and wraps her arms around my neck, resting her forehead against mine.

“Tell me why. Why do you live like this? Why don’t you leave?”

“I can’t leave,” I sigh out in exasperation.

She places her hands on either side of my face and narrows her eyes, studying me. “Tell me. No secrets with us, remember?”

I let out a long breath. “I can’t leave because…I can’t leave you.”

No sooner have the words left my lips than she withdraws into herself, a vacant look glazing over her eyes. This time, it’s my hands on her face, directing her eyes to look at me. “If I leave, where will I go? I don’t have family anywhere near here. I won’t leave you.”

“You can’t stay here, Striker. I can’t live knowing that you are here getting the shit beat out of you for me. I can’t do it.” Her head shakes back and forth.

I pull her lips to mine to calm her. “I won’t leave you. I’ll put up with anything I have to, just to keep you. I love you, Lex.”

The walls surrounding her emotions give way and crumble. Her lips press to mine as she works my shirt up over my head. When it is off completely off, I roll us over and cover her body with mine.

I shake off the feelings of that night. Lex knew things were hard for me at home, but she didn’t know just how hard until that night.

I need to get back inside her heart. Part of me has been there all along, but she’s built a brick wall around it. She knows she loves me, but it’s locked away somewhere so deep that she can’t feel it. I have to make her feel it. I have to break down those walls.

I open my hand and let the piece of metal clatter to the floor as I head for the house to clean up. It’s hot and stuffy in the garage and I’m covered in sweat and grease.

I know what I have to do. I have to save her. I have to save her from herself, because if she keeps shutting everyone out like this, she will end up alone. I can’t let that happen - she’s too good to be alone. She deserves more than I can offer, but she definitely deserves more than she has now.

While quickly showering, I draw up a mental list of places to check for the dinner. This town doesn’t harbor many places fancy enough for her family’s tastes.

Throwing on some clothes, I hop on my bike to start searching. First stop: the country club. All the big shots go there.

I navigate through the country club parking lot’s selection of fancy cars until I come across Lex’s Prius in the back, away from all the other vehicles, and park my bike next to it.

I kill the engine and slowly make my way inside, where I hang out in the back, out of sight while I assess the situation. This idea could be a disaster if her parents notice me. Not to mention, my grease-stained jeans and t-shirt don’t necessarily fit in with the elegantly-dressed attendees.

My eyes scan every face in the room until, finally, I see her. She is standing casually at the bar, clearly uninterested in the event, while some not-so-secret admirer drools all over her.

First, I check him out. No doubt, he’s just another rich bastard that her mother dumped on her, dressed classily in an expensive black suit with thick, dark hair parted on the side and slicked back. His eyes scan down her whole body and he licks his lips.

Meanwhile, Lex seems to be even less interested in him than she is in the party. Her eyes are glossed over with boredom, and they roll dramatically whenever his mouth opens to talk. While he tries his hardest to hit on her, she aimlessly stirs her drink, never breaking eye contact with the exit sign on the opposite wall.

I stand a little taller, chest slightly puffed out, and casually walk to her side. Her eyes widen, not knowing what I’m about to do.

“Are you ready? I got your text an hour ago, I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.” I lean in and press a quick kiss to her lips. She doesn’t shy away, instead, she grabs ahold of my shirt and pulls me back in.

When she pulls away, she looks into my eyes and says, “Thank you.”

I take her hand, flashing a smug grin at the douche that was talking to her.

“It was nice meeting you, James. Thank you for the drink and maybe we will see each other again.”

He nods her a polite farewell but shoots me a dirty look, to which I reply with another sly smile.

Hand in hand, we cross the grand room and escape back out to the parking lot.

“Thank you for that. Even after all these years, she still doesn’t get it.” She shakes her head as we approach my bike.

I lean against it and observe her. She’s swaying back and forth on her feet, she must be nervous and wanting to get away from me.

When she finally looks at me, I give her my most enticing grin and motion with my head toward the road. “Let’s go for a ride.”

A smile spreads across her face. “What?”

I straddle the bike and lift the kickstand. “Come on, Lex. For old time’s sake.” She’s hooked, she can’t resist it, but I throw another grin her way for good measure.

She wants to go. Despite the fortress walls she has built around herself, I can see in her eyes how badly she wants to say yes, to tear down the pavement with me with the wind in her hair. “I don’t know, Striker.”

I reach out my hand. “Shut up and get on.”

She pauses, and I catch a glimpse of something flashing in her eyes, but after a moment she takes my hand and gets on the bike. I kick the bike to life and rev up the engine a few times before speeding out of the parking lot.

Her arms wrap around me and her hands rest on my lap, just a few millimeters from finding out just how excited I really am. She squeezes me tightly between her thighs, a little trick I filled her in on long ago for holding on while riding. Knowing her sexy-as-hell legs are around my hips only makes me harder.

I push everything down, everything I’m feeling. It’s time to start figuring out how to get her to open up for me. This bike ride is the first step, I am sure of it.

* * *

We spend hours on the bike with the vibration between our legs. My hands are damn near numb from it, and once I can no longer feel my fingertips, I pull into a deserted parking lot so we can climb off to stretch our legs.

I light a cigarette for myself and she motions for it, so I hand it to her and light another. “Still smoking?”

“Only in stressful situations. What about you? I thought you were going to quit?”

“I did. I just keep an emergency pack in my sidesaddle.” I shrug. “You know, for stressful situations.”

A smirk pulls at her lips but she doesn’t say anything, instead taking a long drag from her cigarette. The cherry glows bright in the darkness and its faint orange-red glow lights up her face.

“So how did you get trapped with that douchebag?”

She scoffs. “My mother, how else?” She begins pacing in front of me, followed unfailingly by my eyes. “I can’t believe I’m back here.”

“You had no intention of coming back, did you?”

She shakes her head and takes another pull. “Not in a million years.”

“How come? Because of me?”

She stops suddenly. “Being here, it just brings up painful memories. I’m filled with stress, and regrets, and…” Her eyes meet mine. “Love.”

Fuck. Looks like I’m making progress faster than I planned.

“Love, huh? I didn’t think you loved me.”

Her pacing starts up again. “You fucking know I loved you.”

I stand and take a step away from my bike. “Then why did you leave? If you loved me, you never would have been able to do that. You would’ve at least said goodbye.”

She squares her shoulders. “Don’t tell me what I should’ve done. You don’t know. You would’ve done the same thing in my position!” she yells.

Lex never yells. At least, she never used to yell. She was always cool, calm, and collected, thinking everything through before making a move. If she’s yelling, she must be feeling something strong. As far as I know, it could be the first thing she’s felt since leaving me.

“Then tell me, Lex!” I close the distance between us, positioning our chests inches away from each other without contact. Our eyes lock. “No secrets between us, remember?”

She’s dumbfounded. She can’t move. She can’t look away. She’s frozen, and I don’t know if it’s shock or fear that’s keeping her here, but whatever it is, I’m going to use it to my advantage.

As quick as I can move, I pull her in for a kiss. A lip-crushing, tongue-tingling kiss that is painful and strong, yet soft at the same time. Her hands automatically wrap around my neck, holding me to her as she explores my mouth.

Her chest brushes against mine and I feel myself grow rock hard. My fingers trace up her thigh, making their way up under her dress and stopping just as they meet the curve of her ass, which I grasp firmly to lift her onto my bike.

Her legs wrap around me and she pulls me closer, her hands never ceasing their exploration of my body.

I don’t know how far to let this go. I want her fiercely, but is she ready for that? Can she handle what I want to do to her?

I decide to test the waters. My hand runs up the inside of her thigh and I lightly rub against her. Nothing more than a thin piece of material lies between her and my hand and I want to slide beneath it. I want to feel how much she wants me, how wet and ready she is for me.

A soft moan slips from her lips as I apply gentle pressure just where she needs it. I start to slide my finger in through the side of her panties, but stop myself and pull back. I want to look in her eyes and judge her reaction as my fingers take what they want.

She doesn’t stop me, which surprises me. If her walls had come back up, she would put a stop to this, wouldn’t she?

My fingers slide into her and she grasps my shirt, trying to pull my lips back to hers. But I don’t allow it. “Open your eyes,” I grit out. My voice is thick, heavy with lust and need for this woman.

She does as I say and I see it. The walls, they’re back. She isn’t allowing this to happen so she can feel my love for her again; this is just so she doesn’t have to feel the pain and regret that she associates with me.

I pull my hand away and back up. When her feet are back on the ground and I’m sure she isn’t going to fall, I turn my back to her and rub my eyes.

“What? What’s wrong?” Her voice is shaky and confused.

My shoulders rise and fall in rhythm with deep breaths as I try to calm myself. Finally, I turn to her.

“Not like this.”

“Not like what?” she whispers.

“Don’t forget that I know you. I fucking know you and always have. Six years doesn’t change that. You may want me to believe otherwise, but I know you.” Anger builds up, a steady, burning pressure in my chest. I can’t believe she would try using me like this.

“What are you talking about?”

“When I looked into your eyes, do you know what I saw?”

She wraps her arms around herself and shrugs.

“Nothing.”

Her brows pull up in confusion.

I close the distance between us again before continuing. “You forget how well I can read you. I know you. I know your soul. I know you build walls inside yourself to keep from being hurt. I know you run as soon as anything gets even a little bit tough. And I know what you were trying to do just now.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do, Striker?” The walls come up just a little higher. It radiates from her eyes and rings out in her voice.

“I thought you were letting this happen because you’re finally allowing yourself to feel how much you love me, how much I love you. But that’s not what you were doing at all, was it?” I pause to let her answer, but she doesn’t.

“You were allowing this so you didn’t have to feel. You were using me as an escape, and that’s not how this is going to go, sweetheart. I’m going to make you feel again, Lex. If it’s the last fucking thing I do, you are going to feel this.”

I move around her and get on the bike. She steps away as I kickstart it and then climbs on. She is clearly tense and uncomfortable, but seeing her like this pleases me in my angered state.

The ride back to her car is silent and filled with tension. Thank God we’re on my bike and all sounds are drowned out by the loud engine and the wind blowing in our ears, making it impossible to talk. I’m happy for the lack of conversation, it gives me time to calm down.

When I pull up to her car, she climbs off and gives me a longing look. I’m cold to her, I can’t help it. Right now, she just has me so pissed off that I can’t think straight. Somewhere inside of me, I know that this girl has a crack inside of her. She’s not broken, though, no matter how much she thinks she is. It’s just a crack, and I can fix a crack.

She turns away from me without a word and gets inside her car while I watch her in silence. She cranks it over a few times, but it finally starts. I make a mental note to check under her hood and see what the problem is, but keep my mouth shut. I’m still angry. I don’t take off until she has driven out of the parking lot.

Instead of going straight home, I cruise around for a little longer. I need to calm down, sleep won’t come easy when I’m this aggravated.

I’m even angry at myself for being angry. I know something is going on with her, I just don’t know what. It’s the same question I’ve wondered about since she left six years ago. What made her run?

She’s challenging me. She doesn’t know it, but she is. If I can’t get her walls down, I don’t deserve to be with her. It just means I have to try harder.

With that thought, I turn and head home. As I turn down my road, to my surprise, her silver-blue Prius is setting in my driveway. She’s outside of the car, leaning against the driver’s side door. I pull up next to her, shut the bike off, and dismount, watching her the whole time.

“You’re right. I was using you, and I’m sorry.”

When the last word leaves her lips, I rush at her. I pin her against the side of her car with her legs wrapped around me. My lips find hers and I taste her, I feel her, I’m completely wrapped up in her. Every last drop of my confused mix of emotions pours out through my kiss.

Her hands make a fist in my shirt, pulling and tugging, wanting it off of me. When I don’t budge to help her, she tries even harder, yanking the fabric until it tears.

The sound of the cloth ripping and the feeling of the cool night air against my skins causes something to snap inside of me. I have to have her. I don’t fucking care if she is using me to take the edge off of her pain. If that’s what she needs, that’s what I’ll give her.

With my hands cupping her ass, I walk us into the house, straight through the front door and up the stairs to the bedroom, where we both fall on the bed. I catch myself with one hand while the other remains on her.

Her legs are pulling me closer while her hands go to my belt buckle. Her nails dig into my stomach from her desperate attempts. I hike her dress up to her waist and pull at her panties. The fabric rips and tears away just as she has my jeans sliding down my ass.

Without warning, I thrust into her, filling her. She tightens around me and calls out. I pump into her hard and fast, grasping her hips to meet my movements.

I’m not taking this slow. This is fast and rough. This is a desperate attempt from an even more desperate man. I bare my soul to her. I’ll take her any way she lets me, because there is no other way.