Chapter 33
Lara
I couldn’t be sure I was hearing right. The past day had been a blur. I blamed the ice cream of course. Ever since I’d had those few bites of ice cream, I’d felt as if someone had taken a carving knife to the inside of my stomach and forced the contents up and out through my mouth. It was extremely unpleasant. I had barely had the strength to call in sick. Kali had promised to stop by, and she may have, but I never made it to the door.
Then, I awoke to hear a doctor tell Mason, my husband, I was pregnant. This had to be a dream. I would wake up again and I would be back on the cold bathroom floor—any second now.
“Lara?” I heard Mason’s voice.
I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them again, expecting to see the bright blue walls of my bathroom.
Nope. There was the doctor, and now Mason was standing beside the bed I was lying in, holding my hand.
“Lara, are you okay?” Mason asked again.
“Yes.”
“Okay, well, we’re going to keep you here a few more hours. The nurse said you were vomiting most of the night. Let’s see if we can get that tummy to settle down before we let you go,” the doctor said before leaving the room.
I looked at Mason, “I’m going to be sick,” I muttered.
He sprang into action and held me up as I retched into the basin over and over. He rubbed my back throughout the whole horrible episode. Once I felt I had completely emptied my stomach, I leaned back. Mason went into the bathroom, grabbed a cool washcloth, and sponged my forehead and face while I lay there trying to force my stomach to behave.
Fortunately, I only puked a couple more times. Each time, Mason was right there, whispering comforting words and rubbing my back.
“Can I please go home now?” I asked for what was probably the tenth time.
He looked at me and finally caved in. “I’ll see if I can get you released. Sit tight.”
This was when it was a good thing to have a doctor for a husband.
He came back into the room. “You’re being freed, but I will be taking care of you at home.”
When I opened my mouth to protest, he held up a finger. “Either come with me or you have to stay here another night.”
“Fine. Let’s go,” I muttered, not at all happy to have to spend another night with him.
“They’ll be in soon to get you discharged.”
We sat there in silence while we waited for the nurse to come in with my paperwork. Once I was free and in his car on the way back to my house, he attempted to bring up the baby.
“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about the pregnancy or anything else.”
“Lara, please, we have to talk about this.”
“No, we don’t. I can call Kali or Brian and have one of them stay with me. You can go home. I’m sure you have people waiting on you.”
“Stop it. That isn’t the case at all.”
When we arrived at my building, I was a little embarrassed. Mason had told me how he had managed to find me.
“Bed,” he ordered when I went for the couch.
“Mason,” I protested.
“Nope. Bed or the hospital.”
I growled and stomped my foot but headed for my bedroom. I was tired, and bed did sound better than the couch. The last two nights I had slept very little. I was just happy not to have puked for a few hours. Small blessings I supposed.
Mason was behind me and quickly straightened the covers and helped me get into bed. He tucked the blankets around me and left. When he came back in, he had a Gatorade with a straw.
“Where’d that come from?” I asked, knowing damn well I didn’t have that in my fridge when I’d left.
“Kali and Brian brought some supplies over while we were waiting to be discharged.”
“Oh,” I murmured.
He had thought of everything.
“Do you want to try to sleep, or would you prefer to watch television? Or maybe we could talk?”
“No. I don’t want to talk about anything.”
He grabbed the chair from the corner of the room and dragged it to my bed. He situated it so he was facing me.
“You don’t have to talk. It’s probably better if you don’t, but I need to.”
“Mason, please.” He was shaking his head the whole time I objected.
“No. I’m going to say what I’ve been trying to say for two days.”
He reached for my hand, but I yanked it away. In the hospital I had been too weak to do anything about it. I was feeling better and more like my old self now, and my old self was not happy with him.
“Lara, that woman, she isn’t anyone you need to worry about. I used to see her off and on before I met you. Well, not met you, but you know what I mean. I will admit I had sex with her, but not since I met you. I told her I didn’t want to see her anymore. The whole thing was supposed to be casual. It was a booty call. She understood that. Hell, she is the one who established that in the first place. I wasn’t the only guy she was seeing,” he explained.
“Nice,” I said, rolling my eyes in disgust.
“She wouldn’t take no for an answer. I even changed gyms so I could avoid her. That day, she showed up at my place. I hadn’t seen her or talked to her since I left the gym. She threw herself at me and kissed me. I pushed her away. I don’t want her, Lara. I want you. I only want you.”
Looking into his beautiful green eyes, I wanted to believe him, but I knew he would hurt me again if I let him back into my life.
“Mason, I’m sorry to hear you are having trouble with the woman, but I want no part of it. We are over. We both had some fun, but I have no interest in getting involved with a man who could casually have sex with random women.”
It physically hurt me to say those words, but I had to do what was best for me and my unborn child. I couldn’t be involved in some yo-yo romance where I was constantly bawling or furious over something he had done. It was best to cut ties before it went any further.
“Lara, I’m not like that. Sally was a one-time thing. I’ve been single a long time and I do enjoy sex. You have always had my heart, Lara. I couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with anyone but I longed for female companionship. I’m not the only man to have a casual relationship where sex is the only reason for it.”
I shook my head, not able to accept his words. “I can’t, Mason. I just can’t. I want you to leave. I’ll ask Kali to come over. You being here isn’t right. I don’t want you to waste any more time here. We are never going to happen.”
He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. There were dark circles under his eyes and a five o’clock shadow covered his face. He hadn’t been home since he’d found me last night. I felt my heart soften for a brief second before I quickly hardened it against him.
“Fine. I’ll go once someone gets here, but, Lara, you know I’m not the man you are painting me to be. I wasn’t the man Brian imagined me to be all those years ago either. You know me. I know you do.”
“It wasn’t my imagination. I saw what I saw. She was kissing you, Mason!”
“Exactly. She kissed me. I pushed her away. I’m not Mitchel. I’m not the kind of man who cheats. You can’t think I am like him. You know better than that. Don’t judge me based on his sins.”
“I’m not judging you. Go fuck her. I don’t care. We are not a couple. We are not in a relationship. You can still keep your little floozy on the side.”
He stood up, pushing the chair across the floor when he did.
“You are so wrong, Lara. I don’t know how I can ever change your mind or make you understand that I’m not like him. I honestly don’t think I can, and that’s too bad, because I am a good guy. I would take care of you. You were only just getting to know the man I am today.”
He was looking at me, pleading with his eyes, but I refused to answer him. I had thought I was getting to know him, but then I found him with another woman’s tongue in his mouth. That didn’t exactly scream faithful boyfriend.
I saw the defeat and pain on his face as he walked out the door. I had gotten my way. I should have been thrilled, but all I felt was profound sadness and emptiness. I closed my eyes. I was so tired of fighting with him and myself. Life and love shouldn’t have been this hard.
The next thing I knew, Kali was beside me.
“Hey you,” she whispered. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” I looked around her to see if Mason was there.
“He’s gone,” she said in a soft voice. “It’s just me. Brian dropped me off.”
“Good,” I said, and broke into tears. I sobbed uncontrollably. Kali went into the bathroom and came back with several tissues.
“Oh, Lara, why are you doing this to yourself?”
“I didn’t make myself sick,” I argued.
“Not that. Him. I know you’re not crying because you are sick. You are crying because you kicked his butt out of here.”
“I don’t want him here. He was only here because he’s the one who found me. I would have never allowed him to take me to the hospital or stay with me if I had been stronger and in my right mind,” I protested.
“Are you sure about that? It seems like he is truly sorry. To me, it sounds like it was all a big misunderstanding. I think you owe him the benefit of the doubt. After all, the man stayed with you all night. I think that has to count for something.”
I shook my head. “I’m pregnant,” I moaned.
She sat back in the chair. “Oh my god, Lara! That’s amazing!”
“No, it’s not.”
“Lara, you are a fucking crazy woman. You were crying ’cause you weren’t and now you’re crying because you are! What the hell?”
I blinked, stunned by her outburst. I had expected sympathy, not anger. “I’m not crazy.”
“You must be.”
“Yes, I wanted to be pregnant, but now what if I’m pregnant with his baby? He knows I’m pregnant. He could make my life a living hell if he wanted to.”
“I don’t think he would do that. The man seems very concerned for your well-being.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s such a mess.”
“Girl, the man stuck by your side through what had to be one of the worst nights of your life, and let me tell you, you aren’t looking like a thousand bucks at the moment. He was willing to stay here again, taking care of you, holding your hair while you puked and the whole nine yards. That screams keeper to me, and I know you would agree if you weren’t batshit crazy.”
“Oh god, I must look awful,” I groaned.
She smiled and took my hand. “That is the least of your problems. I was only trying to make you see how special he is for sticking by you. I hope Brian is half the man Mason is.”
“He is. He’ll be good to you.”
She leaned back in the chair and relaxed a bit while I closed my eyes and thought about what she’d said.