Lazarus

I lean against the bar, staring at the four beautiful women frolicking in the indoor pool. It’s been a long time since I’ve hosted a party here. For a while, I wasn’t even welcome at my childhood home, but since I’ve been clean for the past two years, Pop has no problem with me crashing in the pool house.

“Can you believe the talent we were able to find in Atlanta?” Cam asks as he stands next to me, checking out the women in the pool. “We’ve lucked out.”

“Indeed,” I agree.

“Lazarus.” Robert’s voice calls from the entrance leading into the pool area, catching my attention. “The last two ladies have arrived. I got them settled into their room and instructed them to come out here to meet you.”

“Thanks, Robert.”

“Anything you need before I go upstairs to check on your father?”

Even though Robert is technically my father’s private live-in nurse, he’s a good dude and always willing to help around here when needed. He didn’t have to greet all the girls today, but I think he enjoyed the excitement of getting some new blood around the place, especially some that sexy.

I shake my head. “No, man. Thanks. You’re welcome to hang out after you get Pop taken care of, and the night shift nurse arrives if you’d like.”

Robert nods and then adjusts the glasses sitting on his nose. “I might do that. I should probably get to know them if we’re all going to be living here together.”

“Sounds good.” I give him a knowing grin.

Robert might be a nerd, but he’s still a man. And what guy can resist a party with half-naked women parading around?

As soon as Robert’s gone, Cam asks, “How’s your dad? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

I toy with the lid on the bottle of water I’m holding in my hands. “He has his good and bad days. Today, he seems to be in a pretty chill mood.”

Things with my father have gotten progressively worse over the past year.

Truth be told, when he first sat me down and told me he had Lou Gehrig’s disease, I had no fucking clue about the progression of it. I thought the doctors could fix it, give him some pill and make it better, but that can’t happen. I went with him to a doctor’s appointment and heard firsthand that no cure existed for ALS and that it was terminal, something that would only cause more destruction over time.

The day that I heard that, I knew I had to get myself straightened out and get clean. Pop needed me, and I needed to be there for him and stop feeling sorry for myself all the damn time. I’d already lost my mother five years ago, and she was my fucking world. I knew I wanted to be clearheaded and be able to remember every last minute I had left on this earth with my dad. I didn’t need a high clouding anything out.

That day, I swore to Pop I would get clean. Of course, that was easier said than done, but I kept my word and did it. I went to rehab that day, and I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol or an illegal drug since then.

Some days, I’m tempted, but when I think about Pop and how he needs me, I fight the urge.

Now, looking back, I’m pissed at myself for living a chunk of my life in a haze, but addiction … it controlled me. It ran every aspect of my life, and no one could convince me to quit—not even my own mother, no matter how much she begged. An addict can only stop when they finally make the decision to. Nothing anyone says or does will make a difference because they can’t reach inside your soul and feel your pain. They can’t take it away. It was up to me to find ways to cope with the fucked-up feelings inside me without being on something.

It took me a while to realize I had a pretty awesome life, and I should be thankful for the family I had instead of longing for one I shouldn’t.

“You all right, man?” Cam’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, just thinking about Pop. I should probably go up and check on him before this party gets into full swing, and it gets late. He likes to go to bed early these days.”

Cam nods. “Go ahead. I’ll keep watch here.”

I chuckle. “I bet you will. I’ll be back.”

I head out the door and across the yard toward the main house. Staring out at the garden that sits just off from the back entrance to the house causes my mind to wander to my mother. I wish she were here. Both Pop and I need her. She was our rock, and I know she would have been strong for everyone right now while Pop was dealing with this.

A creak from the door leading into the kitchen catches my attention, and I see Candace.

“Am I heading in the right direction for the pool?” she asks.

I nod and then jerk my thumb over my shoulder. “Straight back there.”

“Thanks.” She smiles and begins to walk in that direction.

When it hits me that she’s alone, I can’t help but pry. “Drea didn’t come with you?” I ask.

Candace stops and turns to face me. “She’s inside, but she decided she wasn’t going to come down.”

“She has to.”

Her brows rise. “Then you go up and tell her that because she refused to come down here with me.”

A frustrated puff of air rolls out of my nose. This is exactly the kind of shit that ruins groups. Aundrea needs to be down there with the rest of the girls. That’s the whole point of everyone staying here—unity. These girls need to stick together.

“Which room is yours?” I growl.

“First door on the right.”

I nod and then march into the house, through the kitchen, and to the back staircase. I take them two at a time, cut down the middle hall, passing Pop’s quarters, and head straight for Drea’s room.

I know it’s rude as fuck, but I don’t bother knocking before I twist the knob and barge inside.

A sharp squeal assaults my ears as my eyes land on Drea’s bare breasts. She struggles to cover herself up with her hands, but it’s too late. I’ve already gotten an eyeful.

“What the hell?” Drea grabs a shirt off the bed next to her and clutches it to her chest. “Ever heard of knocking?”

I shake my head as my eyes roam over the exposed flesh on full display before me. Goddammit. My fucking wet dreams about her were already intense enough. Now, seeing her like this, she’ll be the only thing I think about while I jerk off.

“Are you just going to stand there?” she questions.

But I don’t answer her.

Instead, I respond with a question of my own. “Why aren’t you downstairs?”

“I wasn’t going to come down there, wearing this bathing suit. It didn’t cover anything, and I didn’t want to parade around in front of you like that.”

The corner of my mouth pulls up into a wicked grin. “A little late to worry about that now, don’t you agree? If you ask me, I think you should show off what you’ve got instead of hiding it beneath those baggy clothes you wear all the time. Your tits are perfect.”

Her cheeks flush. “This is exactly what I was trying to avoid.”

My gaze meets hers. “Well, since I’ve seen you naked now, there shouldn’t be anything left to worry about. Get dressed and come down, so you can get to know the rest of the girls. Everyone’s down there but you. Don’t stay up here in this room and give the rest of the girls the impression that you are a standoffish bitch. We want unity, remember?”

She flinches. “That wasn’t my intention.”

“I know, but that’s what they’ll think.”

She nods. “Okay. I’ll be down in a moment.”

We stand there, staring at one another, neither of us moving.

My heart thunders against my ribs, and the urge to rush over to her and pull her against me to taste those pouty pink lips roars within me.

She blinks as she gazes up at me with her big brown eyes, and judging by the fact that she’s not screaming at me to get the hell out of her room, I’m betting she feels the same way I do.

I could reach behind me, lock this door, and take her right here, right now, but I know that would fuck up everything I’ve been working to accomplish. This group needs her voice, so I can’t be selfish. I have to tell myself no when it comes to Drea.

I swallow hard. “I’ll see you down there.”

Before she has time to say anything, I turn and storm out of the room just as quickly as I came in.

Fuck.

Maybe having the woman of my every desire staying in such close proximity to me isn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. The need to run my fingers along her smooth skin is pretty damn strong, and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to fight it before I say, Fuck it all, and make my move.