Present
I’ve done nothing but think of Cass all day, even when I needed to concentrate on the detailed issues with our schedule for the completion of the job. She has taken over every part of my mind. It’s everything I always knew I would feel, but never allowed myself to give in to—with good reason. I knew she would consume me. When my boss called from New York with the news of a new offer and praise for my work, I felt excited, but only briefly. It’s the one thing I’ve worked my whole life for, and I should be more thrilled with this new prospect than I am. This is why I never allowed myself to go here, but now it’s too late.
Shockingly, I told him I would need to get back to him. He was just as surprised as I am with my need for time. He gave me one day because he needs an answer. I need to see Cass.
So, when I walk in the door, I’m not surprised that my first instinct is to search her out.
I can hear the television is on. It’s late, almost ten o’clock. I expected to be home earlier, but I didn’t have any choice but to stay and work out every kink with this project because it’s my responsibility. It’s huge and means everything for what I’ve been working so hard to achieve.
When I walk around the corner of the foyer into the living room, I see her immediately.
She’s lying on the couch in a t-shirt that barely covers the tops of her thighs. Her lacy lavender panties hug her butt cheeks, peeking just below the hem of the shirt. She’s breathtaking, always has been, and it’s strange standing here watching her, knowing I can touch her if I want to without question. Cass—I’ve touched her, been inside her. She’s mine. The thought is something I’ve always felt toward her, but is it any truer now? Is she mine? Can she be? Do I want her to be only mine?
I walk to her side and she doesn’t wake up. I begin undressing right there in the living room until I’m down to nothing. It’s presumptuous, but I can’t bring myself to even contemplate her turning me away.
Kneeling beside her, I place my lips to her ear and whisper, “Cass…wake up.” When she begins to stir, I pull back and look down at her face. Her eyes flutter open and a small smile forms on her lips. I press my lips against hers gently then pull back. “Cass, I want you.”
Her eyes tell me everything I need to know. I begin to pull her t-shirt up her body and she helps me. Sitting up, she pulls it the rest of the way off.
When she finally gets a good look at me, her eyes widen, and she looks at me with a quirk of an eyebrow when she realizes I’m naked.
“I said I want you,” I say breathlessly as I look at her sitting naked except for her panties, her pert breasts begging me to put my mouth on them. I lean forward, taking her nipple into my mouth. She moans as I suck and run my tongue over it then whimpers when I pull back.
Rising to my feet, I pull her up too. “Is this okay?” I ask, looking into her eyes.
She smiles, and it’s the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. “I want you too, Pax.”
It’s all I need to hear before I pull her to me, kissing her mouth hard and fast. She pushes back with as much fervor as I do. Our hands move over one another’s bodies like we need to feel every part of each other to be sure this is real.
When we finally come up for air, I’m harder than I’ve ever been before. I place my lips against her skin as I move down her body until I can reach inside my jean pocket and pull out the one thing keeping me from taking her right now. I slip it over my rock-hard length while my fingers caress her wet center.
Standing back up, I turn her and sit on the couch, guiding Cass to straddle me. She moves over me, pressing her lips to my chest, and I sigh at the sensation it sends through my body. Her tongue darts out, and this time she sucks my nipple between her lips. I suck in a breath, the feeling shocking.
Pulling away, her eyes meet mine. “I thought about you all day.” She exhales then lowers her body onto mine. We both gasp as we become fully connected, our eyes closed.
When I open mine, Cass is watching me as she begins to move up and down, creating the perfect friction. I begin moving with her, lifting her as she comes down on me.
“Fuck…Cass, you feel so damn good.” My voice is a little strangled.
“Paxton,” she says between pants.
We’re both getting closer as we move faster until we go over the edge and crumple against one another. Our breathing is heavy from exertion, our hot bodies sticking together. Her weight feels perfect against me, and the fact that I’m still inside her makes this all feel more intimate. When she starts to move off of me, I almost stop her, but I don’t. I just help her, pulling the condom off and dropping it on my clothes then lying on my side, pulling her with me in my embrace.
“Pax, what are we doing? Is this safe?” she asks me, confusing me with her question.
“Honestly, I don’t know, Cass,” I admit honestly. She stiffens a little. I can’t tell her yet because I don’t even know what I’m doing. It will hurt her, so I go with the truth of this moment. “I do know that you feel like home, and home is safe, so as long as this feels like home, I think we’re safe.” She relaxes.
“Home,” she states simply. We’re both quiet a minute then she reminds me, “You know, my apartment will be ready tomorrow. I’ll be moving back home.” She’s only going to be one floor away, so why does that feel like too far away?
“No, I forgot. I can’t believe it’s been a month already. I guess Laney will be coming home soon anyway.” I don’t want the happy feeling of having Cass in my arms to end, but I can feel it dissipating with every word I don’t say of the words I need to say.
I can feel her frown against me. “Uh, yeah, and we’ll only be one floor apart. It’s not like we’ll be in different countries.” My heart aches. She lifts up on her elbow, looking down at me. “Pax, is Laney going to be okay with this?”
“Laney doesn’t have a say in what happens between us, only we do.” Jesus, Paxton keep talking. Tell her. I just don’t know what to say when I don’t even know what I’m doing, what this means for whatever we just started. “Cass, I…I…”
“Stop. Don’t say anything. We don’t need to define this because it’s home. It’s safe.” She lays her head back down on my chest, and I wonder if she can feel my heart being torn in two.