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Lust for Life (Sexy in Spades Book 1) by Maggie Dallen (6)

Chapter Six

Kat sat at her desk pretending to work for nearly an hour. For at least forty-five minutes she sat there, determined to be calm and cool, despite the way her brain was racing. It was trying to rush to conclusions, the worst possible kind, actually. But she was being irrational and overly emotional. She was sane enough to see that. So she forced herself to sit there and at least pretend to work, since actual work seemed too much to ask of her brain at the moment. All the while she took long deep breaths and tried to calm herself down.

The best course of action was to wait to talk to the source directly. Surely he would have an explanation that would clear all this up.

Because if her worst suspicions were right and he’d known that he was going to be her boss while sleeping with her multiple times and in creatively excellent ways, then she might murder him.

Kat was the first to admit that she had a fair amount of rules for herself out in the real world—namely, don’t fall for a guy until she was at least thirty-two and had her life in order, don’t wear Uggs or Crocs or any other trendy shoe no matter how temptingly comfortable they might appear, and never ever drink an entire margarita before the chips and salsa are served.

That last one she’d learned the hard way.

But when it came to work, she really just had one rule. Don’t sleep with your coworkers, and that was especially true for her bosses. It was hard enough being a woman in a corporate setting and she refused to allow anyone any fodder for gossip. She’d worked damn hard to be where she was. Even if she didn’t particularly like where she was, she’d earned it fair and square.

And now, with that awesome surprise announcement this morning, she’d discovered that she’d not only inadvertently broken her one and only workplace rule, but she may have done it in epic fashion.

She’d slept with the fucking owner of the company.

Sure, she hadn’t known he was the new owner, of course, but what did that matter? Good intentions were worth shit when it came to matters of screwing one’s boss. So she hadn’t known. Big whoop. Good for her. The fact that she’d been ignorant made her feel a million times worse, because she’d been a blind fool on top of a rule-breaking hussy.

Hindsight was twenty-twenty, and suddenly all those whispered conversations she’d overheard where Bryce Dalton’s name was spoken in hushed, reverent tones...suddenly they all took on a new significance. Her idiocy knew no bounds. Why hadn’t she thought to ask Bryce or even one of her bosses what was going on after she’d found out who he was? Why hadn’t she taken a moment to think it through?

Granted, she hadn’t known the lumberjack bartender was Bryce Dalton until the deed was done, but still. She could have shown some restraint after the fact. Once she’d found out who he was, she could have put an end to their little tryst.

So what? Then she could have just slept with her new boss once instead of multiple times. Would that really have made a difference?

Her brain volleyed back and forth between guilt, anger, shame, and then back to anger. Because she might not have known he was going to be her new boss, but he’d known. Fury rose inside of her but she shoved it back down. She refused to stew and fume until she’d heard him out. Maybe there was an explanation. A perfectly logical explanation for why he’d chosen to screw her, literally and figuratively.

She’d thought she’d done a decent job of keeping calm…until Bryce walked into her office and gave her that Goddamn sexy-as-shit grin. She had to clench her fists to keep from hitting him. It wasn’t fair that he was so fucking sexy, even now when she was livid.

“What did you do?” Her enunciation was on point when she was furious and the words spat out of her mouth cold as ice.

He blinked and she noted with some pleasure that his sexy grin faded ever so slightly. Good.

He scratched his head and she nearly spit. “Don’t give me that aw shucks routine,” she said. “What did you do?”

“I, uh…” He cleared his throat. “I bought your company.”

She stared at him. Even knowing it was coming, the words were still shocking, especially the easy way he said them, like he’d just admitted to buying her a latte.

“Okay,” she said slowly. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she tried to sound as cool and even as he always did. “And at what point did you know that you were going to be my boss? Was it that very first night we fucked?”

He flinched.

“Or was there some confusion on your part about which company I worked for, exactly.” There was no way he could have been confused on that score and she was grateful he didn’t try to lie and claim that he hadn’t known.

That little flicker of gratitude lasted approximately one second.

“I didn’t know I was going to be your boss.” He said it on one long exhale, like it was a big confession instead of the lie she knew it to be.

“Bullshit,” she bit out. “I’d heard my bosses whispering about the great Bryce Dalton before we even left for that stupid retreat. And I’d straight up told you that I worked for CRBO that very first night.” She drew in a long inhale through her nostrils to try to steady her voice. God, she hated it when emotion made it shaky. “Don’t treat me like an idiot, Bryce.”

He straightened, his brows lifting in surprise. “I’m not, I swear I’m not. I can explain—”

“Good luck.”

He cleared his throat and took a step toward her, stopping when she backed away. He kept the little bit of distance between them but his gaze was so warm and insistent it felt like he was too close. Like he could see too much. Resisting the urge to back away once more, she took another deep breath to calm her racing heart. She needed more space.

A continent between them might suffice.

“I didn’t know I was going to buy the company.” He held up a hand to stop her from interrupting with another call of bullshit. “The board had approached me with the deal and my finance guys were looking into it but I’d basically decided to pass.”

“Basically,” she repeated.

He shrugged. “It was a good deal but I didn’t have a…” He shrugged again as if at a loss. “There was no… pull.”

She blinked at him as if the act might help her to comprehend what he was saying. “You based this massive decision on whether you felt a pull? What the hell does that even mean?”

He shook his head and thrust a hand through his hair so it stuck up in an adorable way.

Dammit, why did he have to go and be adorable at a time like this?

“Never mind. I can’t explain that right now. What matters is, I swear to you that I didn’t think I would be your boss when I slept with you.”

She took a deep breath and studied him. He was serious. And genuine. She let out a sigh, slightly mollified. But it still didn’t add up. One minute he was going to pass on the deal, and then two weeks later Gary is ready to announce the new buyout to the world.

“Okay, let’s say I believe you.” Which she did, she realized. She might not know him well, but she believed he was being honest. “What made you change your mind? About buying the company, I mean.”

Something in the air between them shifted. For the first time since she’d met him, Bryce looked uneasy.

Her stomach sank as a result. She was not going to like the answer. “Bryce,” she said slowly, dragging his one-syllable name out until it was three. “What made you change your mind?”

He winced and she had her answer. But no… he couldn’t mean… “Did you buy the company because of me?”

Oh hell. Saying it out loud sounded beyond ridiculous. Not to mention conceited. She nearly laughed, ready to make a joke at her own expense for jumping to the single most egocentric conclusion possible.

Except that he didn’t deny it. He didn’t even raise an eyebrow is surprise or amusement. He looked…resigned.

What. The. Fuck.

“Wait, seriously?” Oh wow. That came out as a screech. But, come on. Seriously?

He winced again and her hands fisted at her sides. He wanted to wince? She’d make him wince.

Maybe he could sense her fury because his hands came up in front of him, palms out in a defensive pose. “I can explain.”

“Oh can you, asshole?” She smacked his arm and felt an odd surge of relief. She’d never been into hitting before but right now it seemed to be the best way to get out this overwhelming tidal wave of rage that was threatening to drown her.

“This is my job. You are messing with my career here,” she shouted as she landed another thwack, this time on his chest.

Goddammit, he had a nice chest.

Fucking-A, she so did not want to be admiring his awesomely muscular man-chest at a time like this.

“Please, let me explain,” he said as she raised her arm for another solid punch.

“Okay, fine. Go ahead. Explain to me how our little fuckfest somehow persuaded you to buy the company I work for.” She paused long enough to see him considering his response before she landed another blow.

“Ow,” he said, although he didn’t so much as flinch and she knew without a doubt she wasn’t causing him any great bodily harm.

“I saw the way that Todd guy treated you and—”

Thwack. Another blow landed on his chest.

“You deserved better and—”

Her next blow paused in midair as his words reached her and he stopped talking as if her hovering fist had commanded him to.

She struggled to breathe normally as the absolute idiocy of his words thoroughly registered. “So you bought a company—a company—to save me?”

His handsome face was pulled into a grimace as he waited for another bodily blow. “Umm…”

Thwack. She went back to swatting his arm again instead of punching. Disbelief was making her weak. “What did you think, you were some kind of knight in shining armor or something?”

His brows drew together in a scowl. “No.” And then. “Yes.” He shook his head with a shrug. “Maybe, I don’t know. It all happened pretty quickly.”

Her fists were clenched so tight her fingernails cut into her palms. “You fucking asshole.”

He had the audacity to give her a wide-eyed look of surprise. “Would it really be so horrible if I was trying to look out for you?”

“Yes!” she shouted, her hands clenching into fists once more.

“Why?”

“Because,” she said, her fists landing ineffective blows between her words. “This is the twenty-first century, Lancelot. Not medieval times.”

“Please stop hitting me,” he muttered, but his tone lacked any real outrage.

She placed her hands on her hips, not wanting to admit that she was tiring out, but her arms were feeling oddly Jell-O-like. She made a mental note to start going to the gym again. But in the meantime… “Look, I don’t know how you got such a wrong impression of what was going on between us but I do not need some man to save me.”

“I know.”

“I’m doing just fine on my own.”

“I know.”

“I’ve got the Todd situation handled, just like I’ve handled every other asshole man who’s crossed my path.”

He rubbed his shoulder absently. “I don’t doubt it.”

She was trying to keep the fury in her voice but between physical exhaustion and his easy acceptance of everything she was saying, it was hard to maintain that original boiling rage. “Really? That’s all you’re going to say for yourself.”

He raised his hands and shrugged in a helpless way that might have been funny if she wasn’t so pissed. “What else can I say?”

She stared at him. “Anything. Literally, anything else other than ‘what else can I say’ would suffice. How about some sort of insight into whatever crazy thought process led you to this decision.”

“Yeah,” he drawled sheepishly. “That’s the thing. It wasn’t so much the brain doing the thinking as—”

“Your dick?” she finished. “Yeah, I gathered.”

“If it makes you feel better, it does make financial sense. I would never have gone through with this if it hadn’t…I think.” He’d added that last bit under his breath, almost as an aside.

They stood there in silence for a moment. For the life of her she didn’t know what else to say. Nothing she said would change this, she knew that. He might have made the decision because of her, but it was done now.

Which meant that she had to think about herself. About her future. There was no use crying over spilled milk and all that crap. Weariness crept over her and she felt inexplicably tired as she turned away from him.

“This doesn’t have to change anything,” he said as she walked toward her office door. “Our personal relationship won’t jeopardize your job, I swear it.”

She turned in the doorway, the tired feeling helping to keep her voice flat and emotionless. “We don’t have a personal relationship.”

His head jerked back slightly, almost like he’d just been slapped. Which was kind of funny in a not-terribly-funny sort of way since she’d finally stopped hitting him.

“Where are you going? Maybe we should talk,” he said as she reached for her bag and took a cursory glance around the office to make sure there was nothing personal there that she’d regret leaving behind.

There wasn’t.

She reached for the door handle and he repeated his question. “Where are you going?”

She didn’t turn back. “To quit.”