Alex
“Can I have another cookie?” I give her a sheepish shrug when she smiles at me.
“Sure, I’ll go grab a plate.”
“And more of that hot chocolate? With that stuff on top?” I bite my lip and give her puppy dog eyes.
“Okay.” She laughs before heading to the kitchen.
As soon as she’s gone, I release a heavy breath and rub my hand over my eyes. I sink down on the couch.
What the fuck am I doing here?
What the fuck did I just agree to?
What. The. Fuck. Was. I. Thinking?
I’ll tell you what the fuck I was thinking. I was thinking that I’d grab any opportunity to be in her presence. I was thinking that she was so goddamned pretty in the moonlight and that she smelled so fucking good and she was so fucking close I would have agreed to fucking anything.
Jesus.
She doesn’t need to hear my entire life story. She doesn’t need to know all that. She’ll start looking at me with pity in her eyes and… she’ll stop seeing me as a man. She’ll never look at me again like she just looked at me when I took my pants off.
“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in the guest room? You hardly fit on that couch?”
“I’ll be fine.” Trust me, you don’t want me alone in a bedroom. I’ll wake everyone up with my screaming.
“Fine.” She sighs, and I take the plate of cookies and hot chocolate from her.
“Thanks. This shit is amazing. What’s it called?”
“Hot chocolate?” She frowns.
“No, I know that. But with the…” I point my finger at the fluff on top.
“Marshmallows?”
“Yeah, I’ve never had it this way before.”
“Never?” She blinks at me.
“It wasn’t really a thing in the foster homes I grew up in.” Fuck. That slipped out. I look down into the cup and stuff a cookie in my mouth, too afraid to meet her eyes and the pity that’s probably in there.
“Oh,” she says as she sits back down in her chair and pulls her laptop back onto her lap. “Well, then I’m glad your first time was with me.”
I look up at her, shocked by her reply. The only thing I see in her eyes is the smile she’s failing miserably at hiding. She winks at me and then trains her eyes back on her laptop.
I eat the remaining three cookies on the plate and look around their living room. Pictures of Quinn and her mom scattered on top of bookshelves and stuck on walls. Colorful paintings, ornaments, and flowers decorate the rest of the space. The furniture isn’t new, but everything looks comfortable, clean, and well lived in. It feels like a home. Not that I have much experience with those but the ones I always imagined looked like this.
I grab my phone from the pocket of my jeans on the floor and lie back on the couch. I scroll through Instagram and Facebook, but I don’t really see anything on the screen. My mind is running a mile a minute, but I can’t pinpoint a single thought. Sighing I toss my phone onto the coffee table, and drag the blanket up to my hips. My feet stick out past the edge of the couch and I can’t get comfortable. I punch the pillow behind my head a few times and then lie back before repeating the action again.
“Seriously, Alex, you’d be way more comfortable upstairs in the guest room.”
“No, I… it’s okay.” I hear her huff, but I ignore it and close my eyes. It’s too quiet in here. I try and concentrate on the sound of her fingers tapping the keys on her laptop, reminding myself over and over that I’m not alone here.
I’m so tired.
“Can.. can you just talk to me for a bit?”
“Talk? About what?”
I shrug from my spot on the couch. “Anything. Tell me what you’re working on.”
“Oh, it’s just a research paper. Literally. Very boring.”
“Sounds perfect.” I urge her to continue. Just let me listen to your voice, I beg silently.
“Well, research is a skill you need to become a psychologist, apparently. So they make us write these dead boring papers for one of my classes and grade us on our research techniques.”
“Psychology, huh?” Please don’t stop talking.
“Yeah..” she trails off.
“Why psychology?”
“I don’t know it just… my mom told me a story once about this little girl who was walking along the beach. She came to a spot where all these starfish had washed up on the shore. Hundreds of them. She desperately started throwing them back into the ocean until this man came to stop her. He told her that it would be impossible to save all of them and she won’t make any difference at all. The little girl picked up another starfish and looked at the man and said: ‘No, but it will make a difference to this one.’ I think… if I can’t change the world, then I’d at least want to make a difference in someone’s life.”
“Like your wish.”
She’s quiet for so long I think she didn’t hear me. I crane my head to look at her. She blinks at me and then her tongue slips out to lick her bottom lip.
“You remember that?” she sounds a little shocked.
“Yes, of course. I remember everything about that night. You were wearing that green shirt, and you had a yellow clip in your hair.” She doesn’t say anything, but I can feel her eyes on me.
“Anyway, starfish.” I say to break the silence. “That’s cool. What kind of psychologist do you want to be?”
“Yeah,” She clears her throat. “I think I want to work with troubled kids. They seem to be the most vulnerable, and they’re so often forgotten. I have this dream of…” she stops short.
“Tell me.” I press.
“Well it seems a little out of reach at the moment, but I have this dream of having a great big farm with lots and lots of dogs. I love dogs. And I’ve read up on using them as therapy animals. Children can come and interact with them and learn to be social and to care for something. Maybe learn what unconditional love is like.”
I ask more questions, and she continues to answer me. After a while, the words don’t matter as much as the sound of her voice. I get lost in the soft lilts when she’s being serious and the way her voice raises when she’s passionate about something. I let the sound of her fill the empty space around me, let it wrap around me until my eyes become heavy and my mind goes quiet.
***
“Alex,” I feel a tentative hand on my arm. “Alex.” I hear the voice, and my eyes blink open slowly. I’m met with the most beautiful smile, and I feel my mouth mirror it.
“Hi,” I whisper up at Quinn.
“Hey,” she’s blushing, and it takes me a moment to realize her eyes are having a hard time staying away from my groin.
“Oh,” I pull up the blanket to cover my morning wood. I must have kicked the blanket off in my sleep. I sit up and fold the blanket over my lap to hide it from her. Adjusting the beanie on my head, I shrug. “Sorry, it happens.”
“It’s okay.” She bites her lip and looks away. “Breakfast will be ready soon, so you can… uh… use the bathroom if you like. Mom put out a fresh towel and a toothbrush for you.”
“Thanks…” I wait for her to leave so I can get up without flashing her again, but she keeps standing there, looking at me. I smirk at her when I see her steal another glance at my groin. My dick jerks and a thrill of excitement runs up my spine.
“Yeah, so...” She shakes herself out of it and clears her throat. “It’s upstairs, second door to the right. Come back down when you’re done.” And with that, she’s gone.
I get up and fold the blanket, once done I place it under the pillow on the couch. I head upstairs and strip off my boxers to get in the shower. I let the warm water run over me to ease my stiff muscles. That couch really wasn’t the most comfortable. After soaping and rinsing I step out, and wrap the towel, Isla left me around my waist. I grab the toothbrush next and start brushing my teeth while looking in the bathroom mirror. My face looks rested and there’s a twinkle in my blue eyes. I don’t think that’s because of sleep. But it’s the same reason my dick that still hasn’t gone down. It jerks again under the towel when I remember the way Quinn looked at it.
I smile at myself in the mirror, not even the foam around my mouth can hide the self-satisfied look on my face. I rinse my mouth and grab the towel to start drying my body when I realize something is missing.
Where are my clothes? Come to think of it. I didn’t see them on the floor before I came up here. Dammit.
I open the door and peek out into the hallway. “Quinn.” I whisper-shout hoping she’ll hear me. The last thing I need is for her mom to see me like this. When I don’t hear any movement from downstairs, I try again. “Uh... Quinn!” I shout. I wait a few beats and then spot Quinn coming up the stairs. She’s looking down to the floor but comes to an abrupt halt when she looks up to see me standing in the doorway, only the bunched-up towel covering my bits.
“Alex…” She blinks at me. “You’re…”
“Naked. I know.” Her eyes track up and down my body, a slow blush creeping up her neck. Goddamn, she’s adorable. “I can’t find my clothes.”
“Oh!” She looks embarrassed and averts her eyes. “Yes, I washed them for you, so you’d have something clean to wear. I’ll just…”
“You washed my clothes for me?” I try and pinpoint the feeling running through me, but I can’t place it. It makes me feel all warm and tingly.
“Yeah, I... I’ll just go get them.” She runs down the stairs without a backward glance, and I’m still trying to get the smile on my face under control when she comes back with the neatly folded pile. I take them from her, and my hand lingers on hers. She meets my eyes, and something passes between us, but she jerks her hand away before I can determine what it is.
“Hurry up, your eggs are getting cold.” Then she turns on her heel, and I watch her ass all the way down the stairs. I look down at the clothes in my hand and bring it up to my nose to smell. I recognize the smell, Quinn smells like this sometimes. I close the bathroom door and get dressed, foregoing my boxers. I don’t want to mess up the clean clothes with dirty underwear.
Once I’m done I head downstairs, and I’m hit with the most delicious smell when I enter the kitchen. I take in the spread in front of me. Piles of bacon, eggs, fresh looking bread rolls, fried mushrooms, and there are even grilled tomatoes. I’m suddenly starving. I sit down and begin piling things onto my plate. I’m halfway through my second plate when I notice how quiet it is. I look up to find Quinn and Isla smiling at me.
“Uh, sorry,” I push the plate away and wipe my mouth with a napkin. “It was really good.”
“Don’t worry honey. Eat your fill; there’s still plenty left,” she gets up to put her plate in the sink. “At least someone enjoys my cooking.” I don’t miss the glare she shoots at Quinn who is chewing on a piece of toast. “I’m going to get ready,” Isla announces and leaves the kitchen.
“You don’t like your mom’s cooking?” I frown at Quinn.
“I do, it’s just… I had that burger yesterday, and Erik says…” She stops short.
“Erik says what?”
“He says I put on weight.” She looks ashamed.
“Fuck that shit.” I grab her plate and divide the remaining bacon and eggs between us. Taking a moment to consider, I scoop a spoonful of mushrooms into her plate as well. “Eat. If you lose an ounce of that ripe ass I’ma be mad.”
She blinks down at the plate. “Eat, Quinn.” I grit out through my teeth. She grabs a fork and stuffs a piece of bacon in her mouth. I smile at the little moan of pleasure she lets out from the taste. I finish my breakfast and sit and watch until she’s finished the very last bite of hers.
“Do you need to go get ready too?”
“Just need to brush my teeth.” I nod.
“Okay go, I’ll clean up here.”
She wants to protest, but I take the dirty dishes from the table and put them in the sink before she can say a word.
Once I’m done in the kitchen both Quinn, and Isla come down the stairs, giggling at something.
“You ladies ready to go?” Their heads turn up; both have guilty looks on their faces.
“Yes, honey.” Her mom is the first to speak. “We’re ready.”
We’re all piled into my truck and on our way a few minutes later. Isla insisted Quinn sit in the middle, a fact I’m happy for when I turn a corner, and she’s thrown up against me.
“Sorry,” She mumbles and puts her hand on my thigh to push herself upright again. But I’m really, really enjoying the warmth that spreads onto my leg from her hand. I place my hand over hers to keep it there.
“Don’t worry. I did that on purpose.” I smirk down at her. She clears her throat and takes her hand back, folding it with the other on her lap. I rub my hand up and down my thigh to get rid of the cold she left behind.
Following her directions, I pull up in front of the hospital and drop them at the entrance, before going to find a parking spot. When I get inside, Isla and Quinn are still standing at reception filling out forms. Both of their shoulders are stiff with tension and neither say a word. I stroll over, but I’m still a few feet away when I shout: “There’s my beautiful girl.” When I reach them, I sling an arm over Isla’s shoulders and pull her to me. I plant a sloppy kiss on her cheek. The nurse looks at us, confused. I smile at her. “I’m trying to convince this woman to give me a chance, but she keeps insisting I’m too young for her.” I roll my eyes in faux exasperation. “And I keep telling her age ain’t nothing but a number.” The nurse breaks out into a smile when Isla starts to giggle beside me.
“Silly boy,” she says a smile is evident in her voice.
“Oooh, candy,” I say when I spot the bowl on the desk and grab a handful. After unwrapping them, I stuff my mouth, and when they’re done with the forms, I grab another handful before we take our seats in the waiting area.
“Want some?” I ask and hold the candy out to Quinn. She takes two pieces and smiles at me, but she’s distracted. I don’t like the worried expression on her face. “Well damn, Quinn, you took half my stash. Now I have to go get some more.” She smiles and shakes her head at me. I’m not even at the desk when the nurse holds the bowl out to me.
“Just take the entire thing, hun.” The nurse says drily. Well, you don’t have to ask me twice. I go to sit back down, and I’m cradling the bowl in my arm when a doctor comes in to call Isla.
“No, sweetheart, you stay here with Alex.” She says when Quinn starts to get up.
“Mom,” Quinn protests.
“No, baby. I’m gonna be a while and who knows what this one will get up to unattended.” She smiles at me, but her eyes are asking me to help her keep Quinn here.
“Yeah, who knows what I will get up to unattended?” Quinn sighs but then nods and sits back down.
We sit there in silence for about a minute, Quinn’s foot tapping on the linoleum floor and her teeth worrying over her bottom. I feel helpless. I have no idea how to comfort her.
I get up to talk to the nurse again, and Quinn frowns when I come to sit back down beside her.
“What did you just do?” I only shrug.
“Alex, what did you…”
“Mr. Watson?” Another nurse comes into the waiting area, quieting Quinn. “Could you come with me please?” Quinn narrows her eyes at me accusingly. I ignore it and get up to follow the nurse.
“Well, are you coming?” I turn back when Quinn doesn’t follow. She opens and closes her mouth but then gets up to follow us instead, curiosity winning over. We’re lead into an examination room.
“Could you please take off your clothes and put this on.” The nurse points to a paper gown laid out on the examination table. “Please fill out this form,” she hands me a clipboard. “The doctor will see you in a few minutes.”
“Alex, what did you do?” Quinn’s eyes are big when she looks at me.
“I signed up for a prostate exam.” She starts sputtering, lost for what to say.
“Could you close your eyes while I get undressed please?” She just blinks at me. I shrug again. “Well, I guess you don’t have to.” I start unbuttoning my jeans.
She clamps her hands over her face and turns around, but I don’t miss the muttered ‘Oh my God.’
“Okay, you can look now,” I say when I’m changed. She turns to me, and starts to giggle.
“You look ridiculous,” she says between giggles. I look down at the gown that reaches only mid-thigh and the socks on my feet.
“What?” I smile at her and sit on the table to start filling out the form.
“Sex?” I smirk at Quinn.
“W-what?”
I shrug and start writing. “Quinn says no.”
“What? You can’t write that!” She leaps forward to grab the form in my hands. After seeing that I wrote ‘male’ like I was supposed to, she starts reading the rest of my answers.
“Your birthday is February 29th?” I shrug and look down, not wanting to lie. “Alex?” She presses.
“Guess so.” I try and play it off.
“Alex,” she touches my bare leg, and I can’t think. “Is this your real birthday?”
I just shrug my shoulders as an answer.
“You... you don’t know when your birthday is?”
“My mom never said.” I look away, so I don’t have to see the pity in her eyes. “Apparently you need one for all sorts of things.”
“Why’d you pick this one?” Her voice is filled with curiosity instead of pity.
“Because then I only have to deal with it once every four years.”
“So, if you only have a birthday once every four years, that would make you… wait, how old are you?” I don’t answer. “Do you know how old you are?” She asks softly, her thumb running circles on my thigh.
“For all intents and purposes, I’m twenty-two.”
“Alex, I...”
“Please don’t say you’re sorry. I couldn’t stand it if you said you were sorry right now.” She opens her mouth to speak, but there’s a knock on the door before the doctor enters.
“Hey, doc!” I shout out, trying to sound cheerful. “Wait,” I hold up my hands to stop him from coming any closer. “Show me your hands first.” Doc sticks out his hands, a confused look on his face. I look at them and start nodding.
“That’s fine. Not too big. I can take that.” Quinn tries to stifle her laughter beside me, and the doctor only shakes his head with a smile. He pulls on his gloves, snapping the wrists while wiggling his eyebrows. “Lube or no?” He asks, and we all laugh. I dig this guy.
“Ok miss,” he rubs his hands and looks at Quinn. “Could you step outside for a minute?”
“Wait, what? Can she stay?” I try to hide the panic in my voice.
“No can do. Sorry. Trust me, you don’t want your girlfriend to see you in this vulnerable position.” I’m too distracted by the girlfriend comment to notice Quinn turning and giggling all the way to the door.
“Quinn, save me!” I call her.
“Sorry,” she shrugs, not even trying to hide her laughter . “But you got yourself into this mess.”
When Quinn leaves, and I’m alone with the doctor, dread fills me, and my smile disappears. I just wanted to distract her. I obviously didn’t think this through well enough. What have I gotten myself into?
***
When I step back into the waiting area, Quinn and Isla are already waiting for me. I’m walking like a cowboy, but I don’t care if they laugh. I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.
“How’d it go?” Quinn asks, trying to hide her smile by biting her lip.
“Well bad news is I’ll only have the results in a couple of days. Good news is, I got a potential date lined up.” The smile slips from her face, and I swear she turns a little green. Is she jealous? “Yep, pretty sure doc-man had his fingers up there for a few seconds too long if you catch my meaning.” She laughs and shakes her head, shoulders relaxing when she realizes I was joking about the date.
“Come on, let’s get out of here before he finds another excuse to touch me.”
We head out to my truck, and I ask Isla about her appointment on the way home. Her results will only be back in a few days, like mine, but the doctor seemed positive that everything would be okay. Quinn’s body language is relaxed beside me, and I’m glad they got some good news.
“We should probably be heading back.” Quinn tells her mom when we get back inside the house.
“We can stay,” I argue.
“No, we’ve taken up too much of your time already. And I have some assignments I still need to finish. I’ll just go grab my things, and we can head out.” Her mom nods and smiles at me.
“Wait here.” She instructs me, and I stand in the living room with my hands stuffed in my pockets. A few minutes later she comes back, holding a massive plastic container filled to the brim with cookies.
“Here,” she says and shoves it at me.
“Oh no, Isla, I couldn’t take all that.”
“Nonsense. Take it. Thank you for looking after my daughter.” She smiles up at me, and I take the cookies.
“I didn’t do anything. I just drove a car.”
“That’s not what I meant, honey.” She taps her palm on my arm and gives it a little squeeze. “Thank you.” She repeats, and I blink at her, not knowing what to say, but Quinn saves me as she comes down the stairs.
“I’ll wait for you outside,” I say and give my goodbyes to Isla.
I wait in the truck, and I’ve already eaten my second cookie when Quinn comes out and gets in the truck.
“Ooh, cookies!” She reaches out to grab one, but I take the container and cradle it to my chest.
“Mine,” I mumble around a mouthful of sugary goodness.
She laughs at me, and we hit the road back to Rhode Island. We settle into a comfortable silence with only the radio on in the background.
“Oh, I love this song!” She exclaims excitedly as she turns the Ed Sheeran song’s volume up.
“Yeah? You like music?”
“Of course,” she looks at me like I just lost my mind. “Who doesn’t?”
“Nobody I want to be friends with.” I nod at her. “Not sure about Ed here though.”
“What the hell is wrong with Ed Sheeran?” The frown on her face is adorable.
“Nothing, he’s just a little… sappy.” I finally decide on the word to best describe him. There really is nothing wrong with him; I just like getting a reaction from her.
“Oh yeah? And your taste in music is so much better?”
“For sure, I have the best taste in music. I’ll make you a .” I nod and smile at her, making a mental note to add music to the list of things she likes.
“Fine, I’ll judge for myself then. But until then, I will enjoy Ed Sheeran thank you very much.” I laugh as she turns the music up even louder, singing and dancing beside me.
“For the record…” she starts when the song is over, and she turned the radio down. “Back at the hospital. I was going to say that I would have picked Thanksgiving Day. The world should be thankful I was born.” She shoots me a smirk, and I can’t help but belly laugh.